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(LA Weekly)   The truth about broken penises about how to WAIT WHAT?   (blogs.laweekly.com) divider line 22
    More: Interesting, broadcast delay, penis, bloody hell, truth, Google Images  
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16628 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2012 at 7:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-07-02 07:21:53 PM  
4 votes:
www.jokespalace.com

Sometimes the penis NOT mightier
2012-07-02 06:55:31 PM  
4 votes:
img607.imageshack.us
2012-07-02 07:23:00 PM  
3 votes:

Random Bastage: This is why I am always a bit more cautious when the girl is on top. I really don't want the date to end with me saying "I think you just broke my penis".


Brokeback Mounting?
2012-07-02 07:09:23 PM  
3 votes:
I had a minor one of these many years back.

Morning wood + sheets wrapped around me + rolling onto my stomach = "pop"

I checked my little friend and he cried a single tear OF BLOOD.

After a few days of overly tender care, it seemed okay and has functioned ever since.

But man, that is a horrible sound/sensation. It wasn't an "ow that hurts" feeling, it was like something moved that shouldn't and some magical penis knuckle had been cracked.
2012-07-02 08:22:26 PM  
2 votes:

Optimal_Illusion: AAAAHHHHHHHHH! AAAHHH-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! AAAHHHHHHHAAAAAH!
*gassssp*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

I do believe that article gave me the heebie-BeeGees.


I didn't know the Gibbs were jewish?
2012-07-02 07:17:22 PM  
2 votes:
PE
NIS
2012-07-02 04:39:41 PM  
2 votes:
A thousand cockpunches upon your head subby - article is too painful to even read...
2012-07-03 04:50:43 AM  
1 votes:

casual disregard: Erix: I'll say it. It happened to me. Just this past December I almost got de-membered during a nice evening of mildly drunken fun. I can't convey the pain and the horror, but I spent about 10 minutes in the fetal position before I could start to work through what the hell just happened. The morning light showed the true extent of the carnage, and led to immediate ER visit. They do terrible things, TERRIBLE THINGS to repair the damage. Took about 3 months to really heal the physical trauma, and another month or so before it went back to simply sexy-time instead of sexy-but-oh-so-scary-and-full-of-dread-time. Really, it's not fun. Don't do it.

So, no lie - did you lose any size through the ordeal? It's Fark and we farken want to know.

/before and after (and during) pics may or may not aid this scientific discourse


dynamicbusinessbuildersofarizona.com
Read that in his voice...
2012-07-03 01:44:19 AM  
1 votes:

apachevoyeur: -1000000 for subby for making me extreme grimace.

/crushed the monster on some taint recently and had a minor scare.
//have stopped playing speed metal during sweet love making


Doesn't the guitar get in the way?
2012-07-03 12:00:23 AM  
1 votes:
Don't name your sins Benedict
2012-07-02 08:52:14 PM  
1 votes:

warthogbrewingco: that happened to me once, so i'm cringing double for this. you see me and my girl friend were having some particularly acrobatic sex. we were both gymnasts. and well, you can imagine.... and then all the sudden 'POP' it was awful. its never been the same since. the only thing that helps is bie and pie.

/please help
//eip
/// :-)


ya'll heard the fella, he wants broken penis in his email
2012-07-02 08:50:41 PM  
1 votes:
that happened to me once, so i'm cringing double for this. you see me and my girl friend were having some particularly acrobatic sex. we were both gymnasts. and well, you can imagine.... and then all the sudden 'POP' it was awful. its never been the same since. the only thing that helps is bie and pie.

/please help
//eip
/// :-)
2012-07-02 08:16:38 PM  
1 votes:
Erix: casual disregard: Erix: I'll say it. It happened to me. Just this past December I almost got de-membered during a nice evening of mildly drunken fun. I can't convey the pain and the horror, but I spent about 10 minutes in the fetal position before I could start to work through what the hell just happened. The morning light showed the true extent of the carnage, and led to immediate ER visit. They do terrible things, TERRIBLE THINGS to repair the damage. Took about 3 months to really heal the physical trauma, and another month or so before it went back to simply sexy-time instead of sexy-but-oh-so-scary-and-full-of-dread-time. Really, it's not fun. Don't do it.

So, no lie - did you lose any size through the ordeal? It's Fark and we farken want to know.

/before and after (and during) pics may or may not aid this scientific discourse

Haha.. no, there was no loss of anything in that regard. But I have to tell you, when you're in the hospital and the fourth male doctor has handled your poor damaged junk like a novelty key chain, and they tell you they can either skin it like a banana (they call it "degloving" it) or you risk never getting another boner again, you lose a good chunk of dignity and psychological well-being. Everything is back to normal now though, amazingly.

Sorry, no pics. Like I'd share with you vultures anyways..


I know you got pics. Your kind always do.

/i'm going to have to go ahead and favorite you as "broken penis dude"
2012-07-02 07:46:36 PM  
1 votes:

casual disregard: Erix: I'll say it. It happened to me. Just this past December I almost got de-membered during a nice evening of mildly drunken fun. I can't convey the pain and the horror, but I spent about 10 minutes in the fetal position before I could start to work through what the hell just happened. The morning light showed the true extent of the carnage, and led to immediate ER visit. They do terrible things, TERRIBLE THINGS to repair the damage. Took about 3 months to really heal the physical trauma, and another month or so before it went back to simply sexy-time instead of sexy-but-oh-so-scary-and-full-of-dread-time. Really, it's not fun. Don't do it.

So, no lie - did you lose any size through the ordeal? It's Fark and we farken want to know.

/before and after (and during) pics may or may not aid this scientific discourse


Haha.. no, there was no loss of anything in that regard. But I have to tell you, when you're in the hospital and the fourth male doctor has handled your poor damaged junk like a novelty key chain, and they tell you they can either skin it like a banana (they call it "degloving" it) or you risk never getting another boner again, you lose a good chunk of dignity and psychological well-being. Everything is back to normal now though, amazingly.

Sorry, no pics. Like I'd share with you vultures anyways..
2012-07-02 07:32:09 PM  
1 votes:
Blunt words from a urologist are frequently too hard to receive.
2012-07-02 07:28:59 PM  
1 votes:
I'll say it. It happened to me. Just this past December I almost got de-membered during a nice evening of mildly drunken fun. I can't convey the pain and the horror, but I spent about 10 minutes in the fetal position before I could start to work through what the hell just happened. The morning light showed the true extent of the carnage, and led to immediate ER visit. They do terrible things, TERRIBLE THINGS to repair the damage. Took about 3 months to really heal the physical trauma, and another month or so before it went back to simply sexy-time instead of sexy-but-oh-so-scary-and-full-of-dread-time. Really, it's not fun. Don't do it.
2012-07-02 07:22:43 PM  
1 votes:
blogs.laweekly.com
2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-07-02 07:19:15 PM  
1 votes:
So you can fall off a mountain and land on your erect penis and fracture it. That's what happened to me, really.
2012-07-02 07:17:56 PM  
1 votes:

consider this: Somebody do a GIS for 'penis fracture", I dare you. I didn't do it and there's no way I'm going to.


www.scientificamerican.com
2012-07-02 07:11:50 PM  
1 votes:

Ed Finnerty: I had a minor one of these many years back.

Morning wood + sheets wrapped around me + rolling onto my stomach = "pop"

I checked my little friend and he cried a single tear OF BLOOD.

After a few days of overly tender care, it seemed okay and has functioned ever since.

But man, that is a horrible sound/sensation. It wasn't an "ow that hurts" feeling, it was like something moved that shouldn't and some magical penis knuckle had been cracked.


Thanks a fark of a lot for that story. I won't sleep well tonight...if at all.
2012-07-02 07:09:42 PM  
1 votes:

Tziva: I mean, unless it's actually true, and the donkey was getting some revenge for, uh, non-consenting relations.


southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com
2012-07-02 06:49:53 PM  
1 votes:
In Iran, only 8% of the cases were attributed to sexual intercourse; the remaining cases were due to self-manipulation and potentially fabricated events, such as a donkey bite to the erect penis

I question the judgment of anyone who thinks it is somehow less scandalous to say some lifestock nommed on your wang than that you hurt it bangin' a lady.

I mean, unless it's actually true, and the donkey was getting some revenge for, uh, non-consenting relations.
 
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