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(SFGate)   Fiona Apple: 'I think I'm a time traveler'   (blog.sfgate.com) divider line 108
    More: Unlikely, Fiona Apple, gossip magazine, paper bags  
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5791 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Jul 2012 at 7:15 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-02 04:23:49 PM  
I saw your laughable new album sales, Fiona. Maybe you should travel back to a time when people gave a sh*t about you.
 
2012-07-02 04:31:04 PM  
"My manger said I have to come off as quirky and weird because it's been a decade since people overlooked my bullshiat music because I was hot. So am I doing it right?"
 
2012-07-02 04:33:30 PM  
To be fair, we are all time travelers - just because we aren't cognizant of the passage of time doesn't make it any less so. Also we can't travel backwards in time (at least not without the aid of craigslist)...

/also:
i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-02 04:55:11 PM  
You are

/you're also an idiot
 
2012-07-02 05:03:37 PM  
I'm traveling through time at the very speed of time itself!
 
2012-07-02 05:05:01 PM  
THIS IS NOT A JOKE
 
2012-07-02 05:09:31 PM  
Oh good, she's still a couple moon men short of an awards show.
 
2012-07-02 05:34:21 PM  
Wow, you all are damn harsh. Pretty girl sings well. Better than 95% of the pop drivel filling the charts these days.
 
2012-07-02 05:38:32 PM  
Why? Because you are stuck in 199? when you were still relevant and almost popular?
 
2012-07-02 05:42:04 PM  
crazy will do that to you
 
2012-07-02 05:42:22 PM  
Yeah, well I think I'm a clone now.

/cause every chromosome is a hand me down
 
2012-07-02 06:00:58 PM  

cretinbob: Why? Because you are stuck in 199? when you were still relevant and almost popular?


I don't know, the 1990s girls were pretty hot. Shirley Manson, the girl from Republica, Shawn Colvin, Cheryl Crow, Jewel, Alanis Morrisette, Jen and the Genitorturures, ect
 
2012-07-02 06:20:58 PM  
"I can't tell you what I did today. I can't tell you what I did for seven years... I'm just floating along (and) seven years go by."

I have those same symptoms. But evidently her drugs are better than mine.
 
2012-07-02 06:28:28 PM  
That's all fine and well, but I don't think she's gonna have ONE POINT TWENTY-ONE GIGA-SALES
 
2012-07-02 06:56:11 PM  
I thought she boxed shadows?
 
2012-07-02 07:14:49 PM  
David Blaine must have literally farked her brains out.
 
2012-07-02 07:23:08 PM  

Elzar:

/also:
[i49.tinypic.com image 640x360]


What the hell does "Lord Up In Of This Time Biatch" mean?
 
2012-07-02 07:24:13 PM  
that's not time travel, that's all the drugs.
 
2012-07-02 07:25:21 PM  
FTFA: Singer/songwriter Fiona Apple is convinced she's a time traveler, because she has problems recalling huge chunks of her life.

No. That's called heroin, honey.
 
2012-07-02 07:27:07 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: That's all fine and well, but I don't think she's gonna have ONE POINT TWENTY-ONE GIGA-SALES


if only we knew where lighting would strike
 
2012-07-02 07:28:32 PM  
The quirky star admits she can't remember writing her songs and there's a seven-year period that is a complete blank.

Mescaline is a hell of a drug.
 
2012-07-02 07:28:53 PM  
She sounds like a good time, just don't fall asleep without a locked door between you and her.
 
2012-07-02 07:31:39 PM  
Hopefully she traveps to a time when I want her to blow me.
 
2012-07-02 07:32:16 PM  
Stupid fat fingers
 
2012-07-02 07:32:57 PM  

Lou Cypher: She sounds like a good time, just don't fall asleep without a locked door between you and her.


Another city, car rental, motel paid in cash, remove all labels and use only a prepaid cell phone.
 
2012-07-02 07:33:00 PM  

Mugato: "My manger said I have to come off as quirky and weird because it's been a decade since people overlooked my bullshiat music because I was hot. So am I doing it right?"


To be fair, she was pretty much two wrenches short of a toolbox since the word go. I listened to a bit of this on Spotify this weekend...big plate of "meh".

Now Kimbra...I know I'm late to the party here but holy blap.
 
2012-07-02 07:38:24 PM  

iron_city_ap: Hopefully she traveps to a time when I want her to blow me.


30 seconds from now?
 
2012-07-02 07:40:45 PM  

jayhawk88: Mugato: "My manger said I have to come off as quirky and weird because it's been a decade since people overlooked my bullshiat music because I was hot. So am I doing it right?"

To be fair, she was pretty much two wrenches short of a toolbox since the word go. I listened to a bit of this on Spotify this weekend...big plate of "meh".

Now Kimbra...I know I'm late to the party here but holy blap.


Someone on AV Club is treating this album like it's the Beatles. But it is the AV Club, so.....
 
2012-07-02 07:40:46 PM  
"I sometimes think that I must time travel and not remember it..." != 'I think I'm a time traveler'
 
2012-07-02 07:42:36 PM  
And then one day you'll find
Seven years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun...
 
2012-07-02 07:45:22 PM  
So that's where you have been, Fiona. Come back to bed now.
 
2012-07-02 07:48:23 PM  
Those....eyes......
 
2012-07-02 07:48:31 PM  
I remember knowing a fan of Fiona Apple's "Criminal" in the mid 90s. Like the song "spoke to" her...

Crazy alarm code red.
 
2012-07-02 07:50:54 PM  

"Singer/songwriter Fiona Apple is convinced she's a time traveler, because she has problems recalling huge chunks of her life."


Then this must mean Keith Richards is God.

 
2012-07-02 07:53:07 PM  

skinink: "Singer/songwriter Fiona Apple is convinced she's a time traveler, because she has problems recalling huge chunks of her life."
Then this must mean Keith Richards is God.


+1
 
2012-07-02 07:56:11 PM  
The quirky star admits she can't remember writing her songs and there's a seven-year period that is a complete blank.

The late 90s through the early 2000s?
 
2012-07-02 07:59:07 PM  
Sounds like brain damage to me.

/the quote, not her music
 
2012-07-02 07:59:13 PM  

verbaltoxin: Someone on AV Club is treating this album like it's the Beatles. But it is the AV Club, so.....


The AV Club really is the most awful group of tin-eared music critics around.
 
2012-07-02 08:04:28 PM  
That sounds more like mental illness to me. However, I do give her credit for not imploding as spectacularly as Lohan or Spears, when clearly she is also ate up with the crazy.
 
2012-07-02 08:07:51 PM  
"Singer/songwriter Fiona Apple is convinced she's a time traveler, because she has problems recalling huge chunks of her life."

Too much Buttsecks? College girlfriend claimed she didn't remember the previous night.

/Sad life
//Sadder memories
///Had Buttsecks!!!!!
 
2012-07-02 08:08:07 PM  
At first I thought.... Who? So, I clicked the link and looked at the picture and then I thought... Who?

/she looks like a former 2nd rate porn actress
//NTTAWWT
 
2012-07-02 08:10:47 PM  
img217.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-02 08:12:10 PM  
So in the future, no one eats?
 
2012-07-02 08:18:11 PM  

loonatic112358: if only we knew where lighting would strike


I don't know for sure.

All I know is that I want a Pepsi-Free.
 
2012-07-02 08:22:36 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: All I know is that I want a Pepsi-Free.


And TMLO's mom and dad came in..."We're afraid you're going to hurt someone. We're afraid you're going to hurt yourself.."
 
2012-07-02 08:29:18 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: loonatic112358: if only we knew where lighting would strike

I don't know for sure.

All I know is that I want a Pepsi-Free.


If you want a Pepsi pal, you gotta pay for it.
 
2012-07-02 08:32:13 PM  
We hate Fiona Apple now? Huh.

/new album has a few catchy ones and Extraordinary Machine and When the pawn breaks the.........uh....well whatever the rest of the title is, is also pretty nifty.
 
2012-07-02 08:33:01 PM  
Is this her attempt to roll back the "to all of you who think this is cool...but it's really bullshiat" [sic] quote she made at an awards show? Is she finally out of money from her 1st album?

Go away you still look like a bushbaby
pin.primate.wisc.edu
 
2012-07-02 08:34:57 PM  

jayhawk88: Now Kimbra...I know I'm late to the party here but holy blap.


I'm even later to the party than you, but holy shiat. Thanks for this.
 
2012-07-02 08:37:46 PM  

Timmy the Tumor: I saw your laughable new album sales, Fiona. Maybe you should travel back to a time when people gave a sh*t about you.


Improving sales is precisely what this is all about. She's following the Cameron Diaz Self-Promotion Playbook.
 
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