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(Slate)   The secrets to a successful family road trip. No, frequent threats to abandon your children at the side of the road didn't make the list, but we all know it's there   (slate.com) divider line 90
    More: Interesting, Life of Brian, away games, historic buildings, acting out, Key Largo  
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4108 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2012 at 6:25 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



90 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-02 05:00:23 PM  
Follow Christie Brinkley.
 
2012-07-02 05:26:50 PM  
Don't make me stop this car...

/heard that a LOT
 
2012-07-02 05:48:04 PM  
FTA: "Once upon a time, road trips were awesome."

No. They were never "awesome". Especially not before the invention of portable video game/DVD systems. They were hours upon hours of staring out the window and being bored out of your gourd. If you were lucky, you were able to sleep through most of it (assuming you weren't the driver of course)
 
2012-07-02 05:56:19 PM  
"Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun...you know that."

/I'm not touching you; I'm not touching you; not touching you; not touching you; not touching you; not touching you....still not touching you
 
2012-07-02 06:27:17 PM  
moviespics.wcgame.ru
 
2012-07-02 06:27:26 PM  
That was not a link to Benadryl...
 
2012-07-02 06:28:16 PM  
Ipads with Netflix streaming. First vacation in forever where I didn't stop the car to make them stop fighting. Priceless.
 
2012-07-02 06:29:27 PM  
www.smbc-comics.com
 
2012-07-02 06:29:51 PM  
My five-year-old daughter is going to a family reunion in Utah by car next month, so I'm gettking a kick out of these replies...

It will be a successful road trip because I AM NOT GOING. Dad's side of the family FTW!

/I might get a couple days without work or kid, woohoo
 
2012-07-02 06:30:35 PM  
Road trips suck when you're a kid. They get marginally better when you're a young adult, only to suck again when you have kids of your own.
 
2012-07-02 06:31:20 PM  
Be sure to get a magnum pi as your backup plan
 
2012-07-02 06:31:22 PM  
Tranquilizers?

/Now I know why Dad made us all drink that funny milk before every long car trip
 
2012-07-02 06:32:34 PM  
Be sure to get a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, make sure it's dark... and wear sunglasses
 
2012-07-02 06:33:37 PM  
Having grown up in, and went on many family vacation/roadtrips in the 80's, the current technology has to be a godsend to parents.
 
2012-07-02 06:34:31 PM  
Never threaten to abandon them. It just makes them all the more suspicious when "daddy has to go to the motel lobby for ice"
 
2012-07-02 06:36:41 PM  
I use to love teasing my sister, my dad would with his left hand control the steering wheel, and his right reach out to grab me. I would contort my body away, just out of his reach, but when my guard was let down, wham! knee jerker. I'm sure I would cry, but I can't help to think back and laugh about it.
 
2012-07-02 06:37:45 PM  
Leave the kids with a sitter, and go enjoy yourselves in peace and quiet.

/kid kennels?
 
2012-07-02 06:37:55 PM  
We're having a family vaca later this month. My mom, dad, brother, nephews, brother's ex wife, her 2 year old by subsequent relationship and me. I'm very much looking forward to the trip, but the part in the car was a scary thought. I'm fixing that by taking my own car.
 
2012-07-02 06:39:25 PM  
Laptop,DVD player, DS, books. That keeps the kid quiet for most of the journey outside of sleeping. Next is snacks so i dont have to buy overpriced turnpike food. 3rd, I WILL drive straight through damn it unless the hotel has a pool.
 
2012-07-02 06:39:27 PM  
...I loved any long ride in the car. I'd stare out of the window and let my thoughts wander. My brothers and mom would have interesting (for adult-kid) conversations.

Am I the only one with this experience?

/Seriously, how can you take a long road trip and not love it? All that fun relaxing time...
 
2012-07-02 06:39:35 PM  
Threats? They were promises, resulting in an extended visit to a Tennessee gas station for me in my ninth summer.

/Loved the road trip as a kid
//Now? Not so much
 
2012-07-02 06:40:15 PM  
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
No.


You get the picture.
 
2012-07-02 06:40:34 PM  
Are we there yet?
 
2012-07-02 06:41:35 PM  
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
 
2012-07-02 06:42:29 PM  
Nice one, subby.

My mother actually made good on that threat once - left my six year old sister and my ten year old self on the side of the road in rural CT - ten miles from home - one Saturday afternoon. It would have been a long jog back, let me tell you. Frankly I was more disappointed than relieved when they returned for us five minutes later, because I relished the thought of actually making it back home on our own and giving the ten year old version of a "Fark you, mom!" look, though I don't know if my sister would have made it 10 miles while bawling.

Probably would have ended far worse for us than I imaginged.

/CSB, yadda yadda...
 
2012-07-02 06:44:57 PM  
Are we there yet trifecta in full view.
 
2012-07-02 06:45:30 PM  
I don't know if you can really make a road trip as/with kids work out, but the advice in the article seems like a good way to minimize the pain.

I know this because it's a list of things my family never, ever did.
 
2012-07-02 06:45:49 PM  
i.imgur.com

Pecan logs & bricks of Black Cats! Woo-Hoo!
 
2012-07-02 06:46:09 PM  
images.wikia.com
 
2012-07-02 06:46:20 PM  
When I was a kid, my dad had a cap on the pickup truck, and we rode back there. There were two wooden benches, running down the sides of the bed of the truck. The cap had a small window on the top that you could crank open, and two small side windows that also cranked open. That completes the list of amenities.

And we would drive for an entire day (pulling a trailer), and we kids would roast alive in the back of the truck. Bouncing along on the hard plywood benches. Honestly I wonder that we even survived. I wonder that we didn't literally kill each other. Or run away. Or go insane. I can remember borderline hallucinations, imagining that I was hearing things that I wasn't hearing.

My parents still imagine that we have fond memories of those trips.
 
2012-07-02 06:46:32 PM  
IIT shiatty parents teach their kids that they can be plugged into movies and video games 24/7 instead of actually taking the time to ejnoy (or even notice) their surroundings.

/If your kids really need something to do, give them a book.
//Not that Harry Potter shiat either
///Loved Crichton back in 2nd grade
 
2012-07-02 06:46:37 PM  
Also missing: Sleeping pills for the kids
 
2012-07-02 06:47:09 PM  
As a parent that just took 3 kids on a 4k mile road trip across 3 states..........


PAINKILLERS FOR KIDS

OxyContin maker wants FDA backing to label addictive drug for 6-year-olds

By Karen Keller Monday, July 2, 2012



THIS!!!
 
2012-07-02 06:47:23 PM  

axeeugene: Nice one, subby.

My mother actually made good on that threat once - left my six year old sister and my ten year old self on the side of the road in rural CT - ten miles from home - one Saturday afternoon. It would have been a long jog back, let me tell you. Frankly I was more disappointed than relieved when they returned for us five minutes later, because I relished the thought of actually making it back home on our own and giving the ten year old version of a "Fark you, mom!" look, though I don't know if my sister would have made it 10 miles while bawling.

Probably would have ended far worse for us than I imaginged.

/CSB, yadda yadda...


Should have let the sis get in the car, and tell mom 'i got this.'
 
2012-07-02 06:48:55 PM  

sk8r: As a parent that just took 3 kids on a 4k mile road trip across 3 states..........


PAINKILLERS FOR KIDS

OxyContin maker wants FDA backing to label addictive drug for 6-year-olds

By Karen Keller Monday, July 2, 2012



THIS!!!


Correct that- 10 states, including the hottest week in the history of Kansas- that's hot.
 
2012-07-02 06:51:14 PM  
Calling someone else, who nonetheless loves your kid like your own, threatening you're going to kill your kid once you find them. Thereby conning them into picking your kid up from school driving them to their house for a few days. Until they figure it out and break your vacation by returning your kid to you. Is that one on there? *click* Dammit. It's my fave.
 
2012-07-02 06:51:28 PM  
Pickup truck.
Add cab.
Slip piece of plywood into cab, dividing space horizontally.
Pack luggage under plywood, kids and "padding" on top.

That's how my parents did road trips when we were kids and they are now in their late 60's and still (relatively) sane.

Of course, that was in the 1970's. If you did that now, 37 people would call 911 and report you for child abuse before you reached the end of the block.
 
2012-07-02 06:52:15 PM  
My dad used to have a station wagon with one of those rear facing flip-up seats. We'd always sit way back there because we knew dad couldn't reach that far. If he started to pull over, we could usually talk him down before he got out of the car. I think the most common idle threat was that we'd get traded in at the Kid Store which I didn't believe for a second because I was pretty sure I would have noticed if there was a store where people could buy kids and I never saw any commercials, not even late at night. And I knew a lot of kids way worse than me who never got traded in.

I've found that the sure way to have an awesome road trip is to be single. I can stop as frequently or infrequently as I want and spend as much or as little time as I want at any given attraction. I can eat at any restaurant I want when I get hungry. Nice restaurants because I don't have to pay for 4 or 5 meals. I can buy $80 worth of souvenirs and nobody gives me crap or uses it as justification for a pedicure. :)
 
2012-07-02 06:54:13 PM  
Last road trip to Florida with daughter worked out fairly well.

Drove down on the back highways checking out some quirky sites on the way. Upon arrival, spent a couple days around Naples then had her flown in from Minneapolis.

Three days later had her flown back home and resumed the road-trip in style.
 
2012-07-02 06:54:36 PM  

sk8r: sk8r: As a parent that just took 3 kids on a 4k mile road trip across 3 states..........


PAINKILLERS FOR KIDS

OxyContin maker wants FDA backing to label addictive drug for 6-year-olds

By Karen Keller Monday, July 2, 2012



THIS!!!

Correct that- 10 states, including the hottest week in the history of Kansas- that's hot.


I know it's cheaper and a bit more fun just to take 'em yourself, but I think the idea is to drug the kids.
 
2012-07-02 06:55:47 PM  
Every summer my grandparents would load a bunch of us grandkids into the RV and take us on a trip. Looking back, they must have had the patience of saints,

LONG cross country trips sometimes too. Can you imagine trapped in a motorhome with 8 or 9 kids, driving from Indiana to the Grand Canyon?
 
2012-07-02 07:00:20 PM  

Kibbler: When I was a kid, my dad had a cap on the pickup truck, and we rode back there. There were two wooden benches, running down the sides of the bed of the truck. The cap had a small window on the top that you could crank open, and two small side windows that also cranked open. That completes the list of amenities.

And we would drive for an entire day (pulling a trailer), and we kids would roast alive in the back of the truck. Bouncing along on the hard plywood benches. Honestly I wonder that we even survived. I wonder that we didn't literally kill each other. Or run away. Or go insane. I can remember borderline hallucinations, imagining that I was hearing things that I wasn't hearing.

My parents still imagine that we have fond memories of those trips.


You had benches and a shell/cap??? Spoiled brats! When we rode in the back of the truck, we were lucky if it wasn't full of tree limbs, chainsaws, and gas cans.
 
2012-07-02 07:01:11 PM  

Kibbler: I can remember borderline hallucinations, imagining that I was hearing things that I wasn't hearing.


Oh, that was just the carbon monoxide talking.
 
2012-07-02 07:02:39 PM  
Road trips ain't that bad when you bring a book, and when the AC is on, and when you get to stop & "stretch your legs" whenever you need to. Unless your father's been threatening to murder your mother because she won't shut up about something that happened at the campgrounds the day before: my dad got pulled over because I was holding the back door open working up the nerve to "fall" out into the busy middle lane of I-70 at high speed, then he almost got arrested for giving the cop hell.

That said, some of my best times were had hitchhiking cross country as a teenager. But that doesn't fit the context of the article, though it would make a dozen CSBs.
 
2012-07-02 07:03:16 PM  
Are you effing kidding me???

If we had the amenities kids and cars have today, iPods, video games, dvd players, my sister and I would be angels rather than playing bloody knuckles in the back seat with a comb or arguing which 8-track dad should play next.
 
2012-07-02 07:03:41 PM  
That's it!!! I'm turning this thread around and you can explain to Grandma why we couldn't come and visit.
 
2012-07-02 07:04:25 PM  
Another reason my road trips sucked as a kid: this happened every. single. trip.

My dad's driving along. My mom sees some tourist trap and says, "do you want to stop there?" about 2 seconds before the exit. My dad makes absolutely no effort to exit, or even remotely seems like he even heard her. My mom starts chewing out my dad about how he never stops to do things she wants to do. As soon as she starts crying (after about ten minutes or so), he offers to turn around and go back. She says, "No, just go". And they don't talk for the rest of the day.

Every. Single. Trip.

Why, yes they are divorced.
 
2012-07-02 07:07:59 PM  
"Caravanning with kids"?

My spell check balks at that.

Hmm. Up until 1:30 AM with dad packing and repacking the car trunk perfectly for the trip. Supposed to leave at 6AM the next morning. Whole trip already sketched out on Rand-McNally road atlas according to state maximum highway speeds with no margin for error.

Finally depart approximately noon after he wakes at 10AM. About 1 PM we finally get out of the local holiday traffic jams, into the endless series of fields and roads and boredom.

Now destined to a entire vacation of hopelessly trying to catch up with a schedule that never had any stops built into it in the first place, putting up the big Sears tent in the dark and/or rain every night too late for the anticipated next day's departure. By the end the entire family frazzled and dad furious that the kids had ruined the whole vacation with the incessant demands along the way to visit "tourist traps" none of which we had stopped at a single one of. And mom having even insisted once, we stay at the campground that had flush toilets and charged a dollar more a night for a spot than the planned one (that was full) or driving for another 3 hours to the next primitive one, what expensive budget treason - "You! You want to stay here in the Waldorf Astoria?!?" with the name drawn out in a sarcastic tone, and referring to a landscape of grass, dust, and prairie dogs.

Ah, good times...
 
2012-07-02 07:09:31 PM  
FTA:
"Stop. Stop. Stop. And then stop"

That's cute. Author must live out east. Out here in the west you can drive for a couple hundred miles with nothing to "stop and see" whatsoever.
 
2012-07-02 07:10:31 PM  

aerojockey: Another reason my road trips sucked as a kid: this happened every. single. trip.

My dad's driving along. My mom sees some tourist trap and says, "do you want to stop there?" about 2 seconds before the exit. My dad makes absolutely no effort to exit, or even remotely seems like he even heard her. My mom starts chewing out my dad about how he never stops to do things she wants to do. As soon as she starts crying (after about ten minutes or so), he offers to turn around and go back. She says, "No, just go". And they don't talk for the rest of the day.

Every. Single. Trip.

Why, yes they are divorced.


brother? I didn't know you existed
 
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