If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has finally taken a clear position on mermaids   (slate.com) divider line 51
    More: Interesting, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, beached whale, mermaids, scientific methods  
•       •       •

7292 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2012 at 8:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-07-02 06:42:04 PM
A mermaid is a being with her top half looking like a human female and the bottom half smelling like fish...

Aren't those already known to exist?
 
2012-07-02 08:30:06 PM
Ocean's farked, then?

New patterns?

New climates?

NSS?
 
2012-07-02 08:30:46 PM
Dumbasses never heard of Weekiwachee
 
2012-07-02 08:31:05 PM

Indubitably: Ocean's farked, then?

New patterns?

New climates?

NSS?


Fish-women stink?

NSS-squared, aka NSSS.

;)
 
2012-07-02 08:31:12 PM
It is about damn time.
 
2012-07-02 08:31:50 PM
Oh the huge mammaries
 
2012-07-02 08:34:20 PM
Deny Anthropic Global Climate Change now, motherfarkers! You killed off the mermaids in your zeal to "progress" by polluting the skies and the oceans. Now the Earth is warming up and we are losing species after species.

Seriously. Stop polluting, assholes!
 
2012-07-02 08:37:44 PM
Something smells fishy ...
 
2012-07-02 08:41:17 PM
FTA:
"Discovery News notes that the show was intended as science fiction..."

Remember when discovery channel was about science and content? They should probably just rebrand all of their networks.

Dyscoveri
Hystori
Anymal Planyt
 
2012-07-02 08:42:47 PM
Yahoo Answers has also taken a clear position on mermaids...

s-ak.buzzfed.com
 
2012-07-02 08:46:24 PM

common sense is an oxymoron: Yahoo Answers has also taken a clear position on mermaids...

[s-ak.buzzfed.com image 500x488]


"I don't know if this person was trying to make me kill myself, or was actually giving me a solution"

Sometimes killing yourself and finding a solution are one in the same, sweetheart. Hakuna matata.
 
2012-07-02 08:46:39 PM
Artist rendering of what life for a mermaid may be like:
i30.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-02 08:47:22 PM
NOAA Derp... hasn't watched the documentary, Waterworld.

www.pauldavidson.net
 
2012-07-02 08:48:32 PM
I'll let the selkies know.
 
2012-07-02 08:51:14 PM
They don't exist? I beg to differ!


www.edsmermaidpage.com
 
2012-07-02 08:56:27 PM
Location. Several miles of the coast of Florida, Atlantic Ocean
Date: 1988
Time: afternoon.
Professional scuba diver Robert Froster was diving alone looking for mysterious undersea formations, when he noticed a disturbance in the water. When he turned to look, he saw a vague, shadowy figure slashing toward him. All around him the water had begun to churn wildly, and clouds of sediment were swirling. As the creature rushed toward him, it appeared to undulate, rather than glide. When the fast moving form got to within 20 yards of him, he noticed something odd about it. Appendages like arms, seemed to be reaching out toward him, and the end of each arm appeared to be sharply talon hands. He then saw the creature in full view. He saw an unmistakable pair of breasts, long flowing hair, smooth skin, and scaled tail from the waist down. It appeared to be half woman, half fish. Froster said, "That creature had one thing on its mind-to kill me because I had seen it. I've never seen such evil hate in the eyes of any human or animal before." Before the creature could reach him, Froster shot up toward the surface and was able to scamper over the side of his craft to safety. He never saw the creature again.
HC addition # 2861

Source: E Randall Floyd, Great Southern Mysteries.
 
2012-07-02 08:56:53 PM
There was a time when MTV played music.

There was a time when Discovery Channel used to air documentaries worth watching.

There was a time when Barry Goldwater was considered a radical Republican.
 
2012-07-02 08:59:49 PM
My childhood buddy's Scuba Radio Mermaids.
Link

Greg, you have the coolest joerb in teh wurld.
 
2012-07-02 09:03:26 PM
All this talk of mermaids, but no love for mermen.

4.bp.blogspot.com

images.epilogue.net

NSFW
 
2012-07-02 09:07:36 PM
Wait, people believe in mermaids? For real?
 
2012-07-02 09:09:46 PM
Maybe if Animal Planet, Discovery, National Geographic, et al stopped running fraud/scam shows about cryptozoological myths, ghosts, alien counter and other fake things the logical part of the world wouldn't have to waste time pointing out their fraud.
 
2012-07-02 09:22:41 PM
Mermaids are totally hittable.
 
2012-07-02 09:23:04 PM

JosephFinn: Maybe if Animal Planet, Discovery, National Geographic, et al stopped running fraud/scam shows about cryptozoological myths, ghosts, alien counter and other fake things the logical part of the world wouldn't have to waste time pointing out their fraud.


Please, if you're stupid enough to believe "Dragons: A Fantasy Made Real" and "Mermaids: The Body Found" are more than what-if pseudo-documentaries, don't go whining about Animal Planet "lying" to you.
 
Ro
2012-07-02 09:31:52 PM

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Mermaids are totally hittable.


With a club!


oh... sorry... those are reserved for baby seals.
 
2012-07-02 09:35:51 PM
Wait, so T-Pain was lying?
 
2012-07-02 09:36:11 PM
Not yet. Atlanta has to get "lost" first.

farm6.staticflickr.com
 
2012-07-02 09:41:22 PM

JosephFinn: Maybe if Animal Planet, Discovery, National Geographic, et al stopped running fraud/scam shows about cryptozoological myths, ghosts, alien counter and other fake things the logical part of the world wouldn't have to waste time pointing out their fraud.


To be totally clear though, the people at the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration might be definitely the people you'd want to ask about sea charts, the coastal weather, the tide conditions, lagoons and such of America, they don't have any expertise at all on the topic of the existence or non-existence of mercreatures of any description globally. They're weathermen.

Logically, you shouldn't be listening to the NOAA about this topic at all.

Silly Season once again! Did you read about the giant shark they spotted right by where Jaws was filmed!? Hooray!
 
2012-07-02 09:42:21 PM
 
2012-07-02 09:44:53 PM
I always thought Mermaids would be a lot sexier if the top half was the fish.
 
2012-07-02 09:51:10 PM

Keizer_Ghidorah: All this talk of mermaids, but no love for mermen.


They only happen because this whole country is just full of people, who when these things happen, they just say "these things happen," and that's why they happen!
api.ning.com
 
2012-07-02 09:53:11 PM
The original Hans Christian Andersen ending to the little mermaid as filtered through Cracked:

After having her tail split in two by the evil sea witch's potion, the mermaid goes upon land and proceeds to bleed absolutely everywhere.

The prince, finding this delightfully amusing, commands her to dance for him while she grins and bears the excruciating pain.


"And maybe later I can choke you while we have sex!"

Afterward, the mermaid finds out that the Prince is to marry another woman, and that if he does so she will dissolve into sea foam, but all can be saved if she can somehow persuade the Prince that she was the one who saved him from drowning. But she doesn't, and he gets married anyway. The sea witch tells the mermaid that in order for her to survive, she must kill him.

Instead of descending upon his sleeping body with an X-Acto knife, she instead chooses to believe in the power of love.

Unfortunately, this does the complete opposite of "work," and the mermaid dissolves. And since mermaids don't have souls (at least according to Hans Christian Andersen), she has to do 300 years of good deeds in order to earn one, only every time a child cries, she has to do an extra day for each teardrop.



/it's a dingle hopper
 
2012-07-02 09:55:32 PM
Meanwhile, the office I work for is finally tackling this thorny subject:
budgetcookingblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-07-02 09:56:28 PM

MBooda: mermen


t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-07-02 09:59:44 PM

MBooda: Meanwhile, the office I work for is finally tackling this thorny subject:
[budgetcookingblog.files.wordpress.com image 450x323]


"Science!"
 
2012-07-02 10:16:21 PM

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Mermaids are totally hittable.


How does that work if the bottom half is a fish?
 
2012-07-02 10:26:23 PM

That Guy...From That Show!: Artist rendering of what life for a mermaid may be like:
[i30.photobucket.com image 590x443]


img824.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-02 10:29:02 PM

Coelacanth: That creature had one thing on its mind-to kill me because I had seen it.


They're required to.

Link
 
2012-07-02 10:40:37 PM

Ronin_S: Just another Heartland Weirdass: Mermaids are totally hittable.

How does that work if the bottom half is a fish?


Skeet skeet skeet.
 
2012-07-02 10:50:37 PM

Dr. Goldshnoz: Keizer_Ghidorah: mermen.

[media2.onsugar.com image 350x550]


I love how there's no thickening of the hip region. He just goes straight into a cone from the torso-to-fish transition. And it looks like he was cut in half directly below the ribcage and grafted onto a fish.

/yes, I'm nitpicky about my merfolk biology

25.media.tumblr.com

img.yessy.com

www.robertocampus.com
 
2012-07-02 11:25:23 PM

MBooda: Keizer_Ghidorah: All this talk of mermaids, but no love for mermen.

They only happen because this whole country is just full of people, who when these things happen, they just say "these things happen," and that's why they happen!
[api.ning.com image 342x249]


"It's Lieutenant Hurwitz. Severe shell-shock. Thinks he's Ethel Merman. "
 
2012-07-02 11:33:00 PM
Cover Up!
Why else would they denied it?
 
2012-07-02 11:39:47 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: That Guy...From That Show!: Artist rendering of what life for a mermaid may be like:
[i30.photobucket.com image 590x443]

[img824.imageshack.us image 640x639]


I refuse to admit I laughed at that. Nope, no way, never happened, nuh-uh

/and I especially didn't save it in my Fark folder.
 
2012-07-02 11:41:23 PM

Avery614: MBooda: mermen


Sweet! I loved Eddie Van Halen during the Balance era!
 
2012-07-02 11:48:35 PM

Jimmiesbluz: Avery614: MBooda: mermen

Sweet! I loved Eddie Van Halen during the Balance era!


*snert*
 
2012-07-03 12:00:24 AM

Avery614: MBooda: mermen


Merman?

img855.imageshack.us
 
2012-07-03 12:06:55 AM

SAN66: Avery614: MBooda: mermen

Merman?

[img855.imageshack.us image 640x517]


GAAAH!! Looks like mermen farked a

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-07-03 12:18:10 AM
Fark, I know there's a sub-sect of GBS fans. You guys are slipping.

What a mermaid might REALLY look like:

i391.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-03 12:44:31 AM
oblig:
art.penny-arcade.com
 
2012-07-03 01:54:31 AM
HAHAHA GAIS HAS ANYBODY POINTED OUT THE IMPRACTICALITY OF SEXXYING UP A MERMAID BECAUSE THEYARE LADYPARTS ARE FISHLADYPARTS?!?!?!?
 
2012-07-03 02:32:47 AM

Nuclear Monk: oblig:
[art.penny-arcade.com image 640x351]


fracas: HAHAHA GAIS HAS ANYBODY POINTED OUT THE IMPRACTICALITY OF SEXXYING UP A MERMAID BECAUSE THEYARE LADYPARTS ARE FISHLADYPARTS?!?!?!?


Merfolk would be set up like dolphins and whales (NSFW)
 
Displayed 50 of 51 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report