If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(TC Palm)   FTFA: "Donkey I want to have sex with you come and I'll give you 30"   (blogs.tcpalm.com) divider line 65
    More: Florida, FTFA, Fort Pierce, Lincoln Town Car, diaz, Port St. Lucie, St. Lucie County  
•       •       •

12440 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2012 at 2:02 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-07-02 01:50:38 PM
i253.photobucket.com

GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN AND INTO MY PANTS YOU FARKING DONKEY!

- Picking Up Women: The Gordon Ramsey Way
 
2012-07-02 02:04:58 PM
Approves:

web.mit.edu
 
2012-07-02 02:05:46 PM
I have no idea wtf I am reading
 
2012-07-02 02:06:03 PM
i would say .. how about no ..
 
2012-07-02 02:07:40 PM
blogs.tcpalm.com

Mrs. Claus is not going to be happy.
 
2012-07-02 02:09:27 PM
Screenplay for Shrek 4?
 
2012-07-02 02:11:34 PM
i60.photobucket.com


I hope the donkey didn't have a heiny troll
 
2012-07-02 02:14:12 PM

publikenemy: I have no idea wtf I am reading


I am rarely baffled. However ^^^^.
 
2012-07-02 02:15:11 PM

publikenemy: I have no idea wtf I am reading


Trying to read it and make sense of it made my head hurt.
 
2012-07-02 02:15:44 PM
Gooby plz.
 
2012-07-02 02:16:31 PM
FTFA: In Morine's phone, police found messages in Spanish from "Stalker," one of which read, "Donkey I want to have sex with you come and I'll give you 30."

"Donkey" is not a common term of endearment.


Ya don't say!
 
2012-07-02 02:20:29 PM
30"? Good Lord!
 
2012-07-02 02:21:43 PM

Need Help Soonish: FTFA: In Morine's phone, police found messages in Spanish from "Stalker," one of which read, "Donkey I want to have sex with you come and I'll give you 30."

"Donkey" is not a common term of endearment.


Ya don't say!


www.ecovelo.info

I take it that's Spanish for "Town Bicycle"?
 
2012-07-02 02:22:00 PM
Sally: At least now I know why you called him donkey brain.
Susan: Actually I called him donkey
Sally: Yeah, but I got the point.
Susan: No, you didn't
Sally: What? You mean... you mean...
Susan: (while looking towards Patrick): Some men are born lucky, some men are born very lucky!
Sally: What was Patrick born?
Susan: A tripod
 
2012-07-02 02:22:06 PM
cloudfront.bostinno.com
After I have sex wit chu, say "Hi" to your mother for me.
 
2012-07-02 02:23:58 PM
Inky Binky Bonky
Inky Binky Bonky,
Daddy had a donkey,
Donkey died, daddy cried,
Inky Binky Bonky.
 
2012-07-02 02:26:09 PM
The words in that story were in my native language, but I could not understand the story at all.

/worst writer ever
 
2012-07-02 02:29:43 PM
That sentence made more sense before I realized that it ended with a "unquote" mark and not an abbreviation for "inches."
 
2012-07-02 02:30:01 PM

Need Help Soonish: FTFA: In Morine's phone, police found messages in Spanish from "Stalker," one of which read, "Donkey I want to have sex with you come and I'll give you 30."

"Donkey" is not a common term of endearment.

Ya don't say!



Is it any less common than "Cabbage"?
img.rp.vhd.me
 
2012-07-02 02:31:04 PM

bwilson27: 30"? Good Lord!


Don't' get excited, it's just five inches six times :/
 
2012-07-02 02:32:19 PM
Will Greenlee strikes again
 
2012-07-02 02:33:59 PM
Good lord, that had to be one of the worst written articles that I've ever had the non-pleasure of reading.
 
2012-07-02 02:34:21 PM
Thats a lot of our tax dollars and three people with legal problems because someone didn't like their roommate? Highlarious.
 
2012-07-02 02:34:46 PM
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who felt that was written by Seth McFarlane for his Eurotrash ESL character
 
2012-07-02 02:35:13 PM
blogs.tcpalm.com
Has she been huffing, or is that just the image brightness being up too high? The area around her mouth made me think of
www.genzel.ca
 
2012-07-02 02:35:44 PM

jack21221: Sally: At least now I know why you called him donkey brain.
Susan: Actually I called him donkey
Sally: Yeah, but I got the point.
Susan: No, you didn't
Sally: What? You mean... you mean...
Susan: (while looking towards Patrick): Some men are born lucky, some men are born very lucky!
Sally: What was Patrick born?
Susan: A tripod


Coupling was such an awesome show!
 
2012-07-02 02:36:18 PM

HopScotchNSoda: [blogs.tcpalm.com image 149x173]
Has she been huffing, or is that just the image brightness being up too high? The area around her mouth made me think of
[www.genzel.ca image 250x292]


Spermatozoa
 
2012-07-02 02:39:27 PM
files.princessfiona.webnode.com

Donkey, I want to have sex with you, come, I'll give you 30!


/i'm hearing it in his voice... GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
 
2012-07-02 02:41:50 PM

Need Help Soonish: FTFA: In Morine's phone, police found messages in Spanish from "Stalker," one of which read, "Donkey I want to have sex with you come and I'll give you 30."

"Donkey" is not a common term of endearment.


Ya don't say!


If it had said "pony" I guess they would have been okay...
 
2012-07-02 02:44:56 PM
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-07-02 02:51:47 PM
'she didn't feel good, and she had some kind of bump on her back?'
Kinda reminds me of Young Frankenstein, when his bump keeps moving spots throughout the movie.
 
2012-07-02 02:53:07 PM
Wait let me try and translate this retarded FL writing into something. The cops went to some house after getting a random call and the morons inside let them ransack the place without warrant, search their cellphones. Then admitted to paying for sex, receiving payment for sex and pimping while looking like Hemingway (which I think gets you 5 years in Florida).

/smrt
 
2012-07-02 02:55:39 PM

Gyrfalcon: Need Help Soonish: FTFA: In Morine's phone, police found messages in Spanish from "Stalker," one of which read, "Donkey I want to have sex with you come and I'll give you 30."

"Donkey" is not a common term of endearment.


Ya don't say!

If it had said "pony" I guess they would have been okay...


I think he should have gone with "Sugar Tits" myself... then again (Florida Tag)
 
2012-07-02 02:58:40 PM
i.qkme.me

What baffles me is that this image w/ caption already existed.
 
2012-07-02 03:02:39 PM
She left her uncle out there for three hours? Fark that.
 
2012-07-02 03:02:40 PM
i177.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-02 03:07:30 PM
What a goddamn minute. No money changed hands? And it was her ex husband? What was the farking crime, again?

I'm reading those docs. Sounds like false arrest.

So Diaz had a female roommate who called 911 then left?

shiat there wasn't even PC to enter the residence. How about you just bang away and don't answer the door!?
 
2012-07-02 03:07:50 PM
This blog sucks.
 
2012-07-02 03:13:31 PM

justanotherfarkinfarker: Wait let me try and translate this retarded FL writing into something. The cops went to some house after getting a random call and the morons inside let them ransack the place without warrant, search their cellphones. Then admitted to paying for sex, receiving payment for sex and pimping while looking like Hemingway (which I think gets you 5 years in Florida).

/smrt



Right? I stopped counting the boneheaded moves on this one.

Can I come in? No.
Can I go through your trash? No.
Are you having sex? Not your business. Not a crime.
Did you agree to have sex for money? No.
Can I look through your phone? No.
Can I strip search you looking for cash? No.
Uncle sure sung link a canary, too. May want to have him not do that next time.

Fark, they seized all three phones at the scene. Probably built PC just through conversation. Jesus farking tap-dancing Christ this case should be used in a Criminal Justice classroom.
 
2012-07-02 03:18:30 PM
Action Seal, who lives at the 2000 block of Newberry Ave. in Lancastershire, Montana, would often read blogs with a style of prose that included sentence structures, often beriddled with made up words and commas whose chief purpose was to cordon off parenthetical information, that confused him greatly.

"Beriddled" is not a common term used by anyone.

"Biatch be makin' up words," said Subject Yet To Be Introduced.
 
2012-07-02 03:22:23 PM
My mother farked a donkey
Down in mexico
She had trienta margaritas
Trienta years ago
Her purse had just been stolen
She had to make some cash
For 50,000 pesos
The donkey farked her ass

Im so ashamed it made me sick
My mother's box was his salt lick
Human donkey fornication
Her taco is the destination
It soon became apparent
It wasn't for the dough
A genuine fiesta - at the donkey show
The crowd would shout ole
As she nibbled on his sack
They never had a patron
Demand their money back

The donkeys name was Lucky
Oh boy he loved to fark
He'd get so damn excited
He'd kick and make you duck

If you want to be a star
Its easy to be famous
Just pull down your pants
And let Lucky fark your anus

A real freak show in the pit
The donkey's farkin my moms tits
Acting like a true ranchero
Dancing around a big sombrero

Lucky the luckiest donkey
Lucky the luckiest donkey
Lucky the luckiest donkey
 
2012-07-02 03:26:19 PM

calbert:


This.
 
2012-07-02 03:29:02 PM

bikerbob59: Good lord, that had to be one of the worst written articles that I've ever had the non-pleasure of reading.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-02 03:29:24 PM

Primitive Screwhead: My mother farked a donkey...


That was just ... beautiful. It brought a tear to my eye.
 
2012-07-02 03:36:10 PM

justanotherfarkinfarker: /smrt


ZzeusS: Right? I stopped counting the boneheaded moves on this one.


"Police knocked on the door for about three minutes before Ignacio Diaz, 49, and 27-year-old Crystal Lynn Morine answered. Diaz's fly was down, and Morine was trying to fix her clothes.

In Morine's phone, police found messages in Spanish from "Stalker," one of which read, "Donkey I want to have sex with you come and I'll give you 30."

A message in Spanish from "Gato," read, "I don't want beer but you can sleep with me."

According to a St. Lucie County Sheriff's official, when Diaz was taken to jail, officials researched his fingerprints and determined his name is Mariano Bichardo. Bichardo is 35."


How is it that you find the scenario hard to believe?
 
2012-07-02 03:39:50 PM

HopScotchNSoda: Primitive Screwhead: My mother farked a donkey...

That was just ... beautiful. It brought a tear to my eye.


Can't take credit for that :)

Guttermouth - Lucky The Donkey (NSFW!)
 
2012-07-02 03:41:40 PM
Bichardo set me up!
 
2012-07-02 03:52:50 PM

Action Seal: Action Seal, who lives at the 2000 block of Newberry Ave. in Lancastershire, Montana, would often read blogs with a style of prose that included sentence structures, often beriddled with made up words and commas whose chief purpose was to cordon off parenthetical information, that confused him greatly.

"Beriddled" is not a common term used by anyone.

"Biatch be makin' up words," said Subject Yet To Be Introduced.


Um... You said "Beriddeled" twice...
 
2012-07-02 04:03:41 PM

walkerhound: justanotherfarkinfarker: /smrt

ZzeusS: Right? I stopped counting the boneheaded moves on this one.


"Police knocked on the door for about three minutes before Ignacio Diaz, 49, and 27-year-old Crystal Lynn Morine answered. Diaz's fly was down, and Morine was trying to fix her clothes.

In Morine's phone, police found messages in Spanish from "Stalker," one of which read, "Donkey I want to have sex with you come and I'll give you 30."

A message in Spanish from "Gato," read, "I don't want beer but you can sleep with me."

According to a St. Lucie County Sheriff's official, when Diaz was taken to jail, officials researched his fingerprints and determined his name is Mariano Bichardo. Bichardo is 35."

How is it that you find the scenario hard to believe?




Oh I believe the scenario. If those three knuckleheads would have had two brain-cells to knock between them, then the LEO would have been stopped at the parking lot.
 
2012-07-02 04:10:29 PM
What the fark is with the details?

Honestly I do not think I have ever read about a more non-criminal, none-of-your-business crime that involved soooo much detail about ALL involved!?!

I'm surprised they didn't include her phone number (she probably could do with a 30 or 2 to pay the fine).

WHAT A SICK SOCIETY WE LIvE IN WHEN SOMEHOW SEX OVER SHADOWS VIOLENCE!!!!!!
 
Displayed 50 of 65 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report