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(The Ledger)   Man attacks three women with a 4-foot sword and a peanut-butter sandwich. Check the tag if you don't believe me   (theledger.com) divider line 29
    More: Florida, sandwiches, swords  
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5434 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2012 at 11:54 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-02 09:40:17 AM  
If a woman showed up at my house with a 3 foot sword and a peanut butter sandwich, I'd attack her too.
 
2012-07-02 10:13:31 AM  
The peanut butter sandwich makes an excellent off-hand weapon and a tasty snack after a long bout of melee.
 
2012-07-02 10:31:45 AM  
Lunge, Parry, Thrust, Chomp?
 
2012-07-02 11:00:59 AM  
I hope he didn't use chunky peanut butter. That would hurt.
 
2012-07-02 11:49:05 AM  
It's peanut butter samurai time! Peanut butter samurai time! Where dey at? Where dey at?
 
2012-07-02 11:55:56 AM  
FirstNationalBastard: I hope he didn't use chunky peanut butter. That would hurt.

How dare you blaspheme the greatest peanut butter ever made?
 
2012-07-02 11:56:23 AM  
Kane?
 
2012-07-02 11:56:53 AM  
Must have been ingesting bath salts.
 
QDW
2012-07-02 11:59:49 AM  
What if he came at her with a pointed stick?
 
2012-07-02 11:59:52 AM  

BronyMedic: FirstNationalBastard: I hope he didn't use chunky peanut butter. That would hurt.

How dare you blaspheme the greatest peanut butter ever made?


There can only be one!
 
QDW
2012-07-02 12:00:35 PM  
Oops I guess he did....
 
2012-07-02 12:01:26 PM  
and "poked" it at the 6-month pregnant woman's stomach,

It appears somebody beat him to it. Plus, he was doing it wrong.
 
2012-07-02 12:01:41 PM  
Slaves2Darkness: There can only be one!

One Peter Pan Extra Crunchy to rule them all!
 
2012-07-02 12:02:55 PM  
I found some more goodies among the "You Might Be Interested In" at the bottom of the article, like the instant 7 yr old orphan. Wow! Florida really has some drama playing out there...
 
2012-07-02 12:03:10 PM  
"Miller ripped a piece of padding from the inside of the patrol car with his teeth"

Ew, think of all the drunks and other assorted, unwashed weirdos who have spewed bodily fluids across the interior of such a vehicle. You don't want that in your mouth.
 
2012-07-02 12:05:07 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-02 12:09:26 PM  
JIF, dammit! There's nothing better than Jif. Also, to support my "drama" claim for Florida, I see 3 Florida tags among the recent 5 (as of now).
 
2012-07-02 12:10:49 PM  
Question is; did he finish the sammich?
 
2012-07-02 12:11:07 PM  
It's using the sandwich that crossed the line.

Crunchy, natural pb please.
 
2012-07-02 12:16:09 PM  
I have been known to smear women with my peanut butter sandwich from time to time.
 
2012-07-02 12:24:57 PM  
Does not approve.

i236.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-02 12:26:24 PM  
Mark Christopher Miller, 50, used the sword to threaten two women, one of them pregnant, and then smeared another with the sandwich before the deputies hauled him away, according to his arrest report.

Looks like two different assaults. Probably didn't take the Two Weapon Fighting feat.
 
2012-07-02 01:49:05 PM  

cgraves67: "Miller ripped a piece of padding from the inside of the patrol car with his teeth"

Ew, think of all the drunks and other assorted, unwashed weirdos who have spewed bodily fluids across the interior of such a vehicle. You don't want that in your mouth.


And that's EXACTLY why you want a peanut-butter sandwich in the off hand.
 
2012-07-02 01:52:06 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

I'm here to kick ass and eat a peanut butter sandwich. I'm all out of sandwich.
 
2012-07-02 02:03:04 PM  
could've been bath salts but there's a possibility it was a sammy made of 'ends' that pushed him over the edge. those crusty end pieces demand an extra skosh of teh jelly, very important.

/nomnomnom
 
2012-07-02 02:44:49 PM  

QDW: What if he came at her with a pointed stick?


Then she'd need some raspberry jam.
 
2012-07-02 04:14:23 PM  
Hey, at least they didn't call it a "samurai sword" this time, right?
 
2012-07-02 05:11:52 PM  
FTFA: He exited, sword in hand, and "poked" it at the 6-month pregnant woman's stomach, the report says. She managed to grab the blade and stop him from stabbing her.

Sounds like she was able to dispatch the situation in a Jif.
 
2012-07-02 07:15:50 PM  
I've never considered the possibilities of a weaponized PB&J.
 
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