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(Short List)   Kids recreate the chest-burster scene from Alien. This is pretty much why Subby wants kids. That and an end to the crushing loneliness   (shortlist.com) divider line 31
    More: Amusing, aliens  
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5267 clicks; posted to Video » on 02 Jul 2012 at 12:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-07-02 09:01:48 AM
That was great. Creepy headline.
 
2012-07-02 09:07:31 AM
I think a sockpupet chest burster with a hair clip for teeth is way scarier.
 
2012-07-02 09:33:54 AM
 
2012-07-02 09:55:18 AM
I don't remember Kane giggling and farting in that scene.
 
2012-07-02 11:18:58 AM

Mentat: I don't remember Kane giggling and farting in that scene.


Then you haven't seen the Director's Cut
 
2012-07-02 11:45:26 AM
I enjoyed the "Holy Grail" recreation:

Link
 
2012-07-02 12:47:18 PM
The sock puppet and hair clip was awesome.
 
2012-07-02 12:52:53 PM
Don't know about you, but I still prefer the crushing loneliness to kids.
 
2012-07-02 01:05:57 PM

scottydoesntknow: Mentat: I don't remember Kane giggling and farting in that scene.

Then you haven't seen the Director's Cut


Acdtually, I think it's the Donner cut.
 
2012-07-02 01:34:41 PM
Cute. Particularly good resemblance by the kid doing Ripley.
 
2012-07-02 01:39:28 PM
You kids will leave you one day, as well. You die a shriveled husk, penniless and unloved.
 
2012-07-02 01:41:06 PM
No.
 
2012-07-02 02:05:21 PM
And don't forget the chronic baldness smitty. There's not a father on the planet who gets through the first 15 years without losing some hair. When your father mentioned hairy palms, he wasn't talking about masturbation. He was talking yanking out your locks in frustration.
 
2012-07-02 02:06:00 PM

lewismarktwo: You kids will leave you one day, as well. You die a shriveled husk, penniless and unloved.


It was worth it.
 
2012-07-02 03:36:16 PM
Sheesh, give me a break! That was clearly done by an adult looking to gets "awww's" from the children-loving minority.

/cannot stand "cutsie" kids, even if they pretend to be in "Alien"....
 
2012-07-02 03:48:49 PM

Hot Carl To Go: The sock puppet and hair clip was awesome.


It's stuff like a chestburster sock puppet that truly makes the internet worth having. I am going to have to add this to my Top 10 List Of The Most Awesomest Things Ever.

I haven't actually made such a list yet, but now I think I'm going to have to start it. For the record, the number one slot is the epic saga of Douche Quadbike, which I saw unfurl as it all happened (which is a good thing, since the original video that started it all has apparently been removed). The Douche Quadbike thing literally had me laughing for days. Days.
 
2012-07-02 04:00:39 PM
/Oh wows, my internet information was incorrect. Original Douche Quadbike video here. The Internet's response here (but the copy is very bad) and here. There were also thousands of forums posts on various sites. Know your meme link.
//we now return you to your regularly scheduled thread
 
2012-07-02 04:13:27 PM
In space... everyone can still hear your kids scream.
 
2012-07-02 04:19:40 PM

MelGoesOnTour: Sheesh, give me a break! That was clearly done by an adult looking to gets "awww's" from the children-loving minority.

/cannot stand "cutsie" kids, even if they pretend to be in "Alien"....


i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-02 04:31:34 PM

indarwinsshadow: And don't forget the chronic baldness smitty. There's not a father on the planet who gets through the first 15 years without losing some hair. When your father mentioned hairy palms, he wasn't talking about masturbation. He was talking yanking out your locks in frustration.


6 years into parenthood here, I don't think I have lost any hair, but it sure has gone grey over the past few years.
 
2012-07-02 04:32:47 PM
Yup, subby, the kids will get older and the crushing loneliness will return, though you will also have company in your depression as they do become sullen and verbally abusive.
 
2012-07-02 06:41:08 PM
In other words, the lives of complete but small and helpless human beings is all about subby's personal happiness and sense of fulfillment. Got it.
 
2012-07-02 08:25:04 PM
It's fun and cute now when it's Alien but wait till they get asked to re-enact scenes from Deep Throat and the only way to watch it is from some Russian site.
 
2012-07-02 10:58:00 PM

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: In other words, the lives of complete but small and helpless human beings is all about subby's personal happiness and sense of fulfillment. Got it.


I almost have to admire how simply unending your negativity and miserablebess is.
For the longest time I would roll my eyes when I saw your posts, so angry every second of the day. But it's almost admirable.

/you must have very high blood pressure, please see a doctor
 
2012-07-03 12:10:32 AM

sure haven't: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: In other words, the lives of complete but small and helpless human beings is all about subby's personal happiness and sense of fulfillment. Got it.

I almost have to admire how simply unending your negativity and miserablebess is.
For the longest time I would roll my eyes when I saw your posts, so angry every second of the day. But it's almost admirable.

/you must have very high blood pressure, please see a doctor


You misunderstand and misinterpret, but I understand. What's a little harder to understand is why you'd think I wouldn't recognise an attempt to insult me for what it is. I can tell you're not so stupid as to think I'm that stupid. Which makes it just a teensy bit hypocritical that you'd post this comment, since the point is pretty clearly to express your disgust or whatever.

I actually have a really good time. (Not that my life is any of your business -- it's not.) I click the 'Funny' button quite a bit, LOL, all that. I just rarely post about it, since I'm not the kind person who feels it contributes much to hit the 'Like' or '+' button or say "This!" or whatever. I mean, I will if I feel it's really warranted, or want to add something, but there's enough noise in the world already.

On the other hand, I find a lot of people painfully stupid and irritating. Maybe you're right that that's a character flaw, but there are a lot of curmudgeons in the world, and I don't think we're all nuts. As some wise person said (I wish I could remember who), maybe happiness shouldn't be normal: in a world like ours, maybe horror and disgust are the most sane reactions. So yeah, I swat at flies. And I know it's mostly pointless, and you're right that it's largely cathartic. But I don't do it because I'm brimming with anger and hatred. If that was me, I'd just camp in the Politics tab and never leave.

But this is sort of a special case here. I'm not a child hater, though I don't like kids. (Kids can be a lot of fun sometimes, as long as I don't have to be responsible for them and I can leave whenever I feel I've had enough.) This isn't about kids at all. This is about why people have kids. I've thought long and hard about this, because I don't want any. I don't really care what anyone thinks about that, and it doesn't bother me if they talk to me about it or try to persuade me: they're being sincere, and I respect sincerity probably more than anything else.

But when I probe the reasons people decide to have children, I note that far too much of the time, it's all about the parents, or at least much more about them than it is about the kids they have or intend to have. It seems to me that for far too many parents, children are like the ultimate Barbie doll or something. Even at their most sincere, many parents are really thinking about themselves -- their 'legacy,' or some form of immortality by proxy, or how much 'fun' kids are, as if kids are toys instead of humans just like them. It kind of freaks me out. Because as much as children annoy me, I'm very keen on the fact that they're humans no different from me, and no less deserving of love and respect and acceptance as equal beings. And it seems to me that an awful lot of parents see them as something a little bit less than that, at least potentially. I know they love them and they're devoted and all that. But I'm talking about the initial reasons for having them in the first place. It just seems to me that very few of those reason are rationally good reasons, and many of them are ultimately selfish.

I know subby was making a joke, I'm honestly not that dim. But it kind of hit a nerve, because the way it was worded was pretty clearly, "Kids are entertaining! I'm-a have some of my own to get entertained!" And I just wanted to inject a little reality into that. Cold and harsh reality, yes, and I do know how ugly it reads. This was intentional, and I wasn't looking to impress or appeal to anyone, and I knew it would anger some people. But I really do feel that people need to consciously think about choices that directly and permanently affect other human beings, even if those persons don't exist yet or might never. Kids are not pets or playthings, they are people. Anyone who wants to be a parent, fine. But really think it over, and try to be honest with yourself about why.
 
2012-07-03 12:16:52 AM

GungFu: It's fun and cute now when it's Alien but wait till they get asked to re-enact scenes from Deep Throat and the only way to watch it is from some Russian site.


I've gotta be honest, speaking just for myself, I find it most amusing when kids re-enact.. let's call them 'grown-up' scenes (since 'adult' carries so much baggage). Scenes that are completely wrong for kids, like complex romances, sophisticated comedy, dramatic science fiction, that sort of thing. I'd pay top dollar to see a child-cast version of 'Wall Street.' I probably have something wrong with me.

Oh, well, and this, of course:

i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-07-03 05:26:28 PM
Why do people find it so difficult to link directly to the video? I hate having to play guess-and-check with NoScript on some crappy website until the video starts up, only to find it's an embedded from YouTube.
 
2012-07-03 11:40:13 PM

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: sure haven't: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: In other words, the lives of complete but small and helpless human beings is all about subby's personal happiness and sense of fulfillment. Got it.

I almost have to admire how simply unending your negativity and miserablebess is.
For the longest time I would roll my eyes when I saw your posts, so angry every second of the day. But it's almost admirable.

/you must have very high blood pressure, please see a doctor

You misunderstand and misinterpret, but I understand. What's a little harder to understand is why you'd think I wouldn't recognise an attempt to insult me for what it is. I can tell you're not so stupid as to think I'm that stupid. Which makes it just a teensy bit hypocritical that you'd post this comment, since the point is pretty clearly to express your disgust or whatever.

I actually have a really good time. (Not that my life is any of your business -- it's not.) I click the 'Funny' button quite a bit, LOL, all that. I just rarely post about it, since I'm not the kind person who feels it contributes much to hit the 'Like' or '+' button or say "This!" or whatever. I mean, I will if I feel it's really warranted, or want to add something, but there's enough noise in the world already.

On the other hand, I find a lot of people painfully stupid and irritating. Maybe you're right that that's a character flaw, but there are a lot of curmudgeons in the world, and I don't think we're all nuts. As some wise person said (I wish I could remember who), maybe happiness shouldn't be normal: in a world like ours, maybe horror and disgust are the most sane reactions. So yeah, I swat at flies. And I know it's mostly pointless, and you're right that it's largely cathartic. But I don't do it because I'm brimming with anger and hatred. If that was me, I'd just camp in the Politics tab and never leave.

But this is sort of a special case here. I'm not a child hater, though I don't like kids. (Kids can be a lot of fun sometimes, as long as I don't have to be responsible for them and I can leave whenever I feel I've had enough.) This isn't about kids at all. This is about why people have kids. I've thought long and hard about this, because I don't want any. I don't really care what anyone thinks about that, and it doesn't bother me if they talk to me about it or try to persuade me: they're being sincere, and I respect sincerity probably more than anything else.

But when I probe the reasons people decide to have children, I note that far too much of the time, it's all about the parents, or at least much more about them than it is about the kids they have or intend to have. It seems to me that for far too many parents, children are like the ultimate Barbie doll or something. Even at their most sincere, many parents are really thinking about themselves -- their 'legacy,' or some form of immortality by proxy, or how much 'fun' kids are, as if kids are toys instead of humans just like them. It kind of freaks me out. Because as much as children annoy me, I'm very keen on the fact that they're humans no different from me, and no less deserving of love and respect and acceptance as equal beings. And it seems to me that an awful lot of parents see them as something a little bit less than that, at least potentially. I know they love them and they're devoted and all that. But I'm talking about the initial reasons for having them in the first place. It just seems to me that very few of those reason are rationally good reasons, and many of them are ultimately selfish.

I know subby was making a joke, I'm honestly not that dim. But it kind of hit a nerve, because the way it was worded was pretty clearly, "Kids are entertaining! I'm-a have some of my own to get entertained!" And I just wanted to inject a little reality into that. Cold and harsh reality, yes, and I do know how ugly it reads. This was intentional, and I wasn't looking to impress or appeal to anyone, and I knew it would anger some people. But I really do feel that people need to consciously think about choices that directly and permanently affect other human beings, even if those persons don't exist yet or might never. Kids are not pets or playthings, they are people. Anyone who wants to be a parent, fine. But really think it over, and try to be honest with yourself about why.


Thank you for recognizing you would be a horrible parent and saving a child(ren) from a lifetime of misery as well as the possibility of genetically inheriting your miserableness and family history of high blood pressure.
 
2012-07-04 12:43:21 AM

sgtbarthel: Thank you for recognizing you would be a horrible parent and saving a child(ren) from a lifetime of misery as well as the possibility of genetically inheriting your miserableness and family history of high blood pressure.


You didn't read what I said, and if you did, then you didn't understand it. Which is okay. But lashing out because you're mad or whatever doesn't go very far in making your case that it's shiatty to lash out at people because you're mad. Don't you think?
 
2012-07-05 03:33:34 AM
I like how they made sure to leave in the line about cunnilingus.
 
2012-07-05 01:30:53 PM
As painful as it may be, consider the reasons you are so lonely subby. There may be personal qualities about yourself you can't help, but that repel others. Keep in mind you are also shaping and imparting that personality onto the blank slate of a child if you choose to raise one.
 
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