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(Bleacher Report)   WWE's Monday Night Raw has reached the point where the only thing that could save the show is if Zeus appears to pimp the new No Holds Barred DVD   (bleacherreport.com) divider line 1480
    More: Obvious, No Holds Barred DVD, Monday Night Raw, WWE, legends, Diamond Dallas Page, crutches  
•       •       •

1306 clicks; posted to Sports » on 02 Jul 2012 at 7:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-02 07:25:31 PM
Allright so the show will be
DB, Kane, and Punk to start
AJ interference
Ryback squash
Brock Lesnar responce
promo
recap
tag team match
recap
promo
Heath Slater match
recap
recap
recap
promo
Cena ends the show
 
2012-07-02 07:26:18 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: I think we need a Cena Kitteh rating scale, so we can rate each Raw.

If tonight's show gets to 3/5 Cena Kittehs, that would be a miracle.


MINUS FIVE CENA KITTEHS!
 
2012-07-02 07:26:54 PM

silgryphon: Allright so the show will be
DB, Kane, and Punk to start
AJ interference
Ryback squash
Brock Lesnar responce
promo
recap
tag team match
recap
promo
Heath Slater match
recap
recap
recap
promo
Cena ends the show


I dunno, playa. With Teddy as GM, you might want to squeeze in at least 3 more tag matches.
 
2012-07-02 07:27:10 PM

ontariolightning: phedex: I just yesterday, after it being dead forever... was able to get my external hard drive working long enough to copy over my wrestling files.

in it, I had
-13 ECW Pay Per Views
-3 years of RAW..97,98, and 99
-4 years of NITRO... 96,97,98, and 99
-15 years of Royal Rumbles

Yes, I nearly cried tears of joy. I am tempted to buy another drive, copy them over just for safe keeping and put it in the closet so I won't lose that stuff again.

Not gonna do you much good when the power grid gets wiped out but go for it


yeah right, like that is gonna happen.
 
2012-07-02 07:29:27 PM

silgryphon: Allright so the show will be
DB, Kane, and Punk to start
AJ interference
Ryback squash
Brock Lesnar responce
promo
recap
tag team match
recap
promo
Heath Slater match
recap
recap
recap
promo
Cena ends the show


That was last week's show, stupid. This week will be... uh...

goddammitsomuch...
 
2012-07-02 07:29:56 PM

KellyKellyKelly: silgryphon: Allright so the show will be
DB, Kane, and Punk to start
AJ interference
Ryback squash
Brock Lesnar responce
promo
recap
tag team match
recap
promo
Heath Slater match
recap
recap
recap
promo
Cena ends the show

I dunno, playa. With Teddy as GM, you might want to squeeze in at least 3 more tag matches.


FTFS:

Interim Raw General Manager Theodore Long has announced via WWE.com a tag team match pitting Money in the Bank opponents for tonight's Raw SuperShow as WWE Champion CM Punk and John Cena will face Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan.


Well, maybe this means that there won't be any annoyances in the Punk/Bryan match tonight.
 
2012-07-02 07:30:36 PM

KellyKellyKelly: silgryphon: Allright so the show will be
DB, Kane, and Punk to start
AJ interference
Ryback squash
Brock Lesnar responce
promo
recap
tag team match
recap
promo
Heath Slater match
recap
recap
recap
promo
Cena ends the show

I dunno, playa. With Teddy as GM, you might want to squeeze in at least 3 more tag matches.


WWE.com has Jericho and Bryan vs Cena and Punk. Santino on Twitter says he's in an 8 man tag match, with 4 champs against 4 non champs. R-Truth says he is coming back tonight so possibly Santino, Christian, Truth and Kofi vs some guys.
 
2012-07-02 07:31:49 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Bleacher is reporting that R-Truth may make an appearance tonight as well. they read Truth's Twitter account.

/lil' jimmy!

 
2012-07-02 07:32:17 PM

silgryphon: Allright so the show will be
DB, Kane, and Punk to start
AJ interference
Ryback squash
Brock Lesnar responce
promo
recap
tag team match
recap
promo
Heath Slater match
recap
recap
recap
promo
Cena ends the show


There a will be a recap to start off the show. Otherwise the list looks accurate.
 
2012-07-02 07:33:19 PM
The ultimate thing for Teddy to do would be to say that Vickie's booking to fill the MITB slots was stupid so it's voided and he's starting over.
 
2012-07-02 07:33:44 PM

slamjack: KellyKellyKelly: silgryphon: Allright so the show will be
DB, Kane, and Punk to start
AJ interference
Ryback squash
Brock Lesnar responce
promo
recap
tag team match
recap
promo
Heath Slater match
recap
recap
recap
promo
Cena ends the show

I dunno, playa. With Teddy as GM, you might want to squeeze in at least 3 more tag matches.

WWE.com has Jericho and Bryan vs Cena and Punk. Santino on Twitter says he's in an 8 man tag match, with 4 champs against 4 non champs. R-Truth says he is coming back tonight so possibly Santino, Christian, Truth and Kofi vs some guys.


Ok
Promo
Recap
Tag Team match
promo
recap
Heath Slater Match
promo
recap
promo
Tag team match
promo
recap
Ryback Squash
recap
Dance off
promo
Brock Lesnar/paul heyman/HHH
recap
promo
Tag team match
Cena
 
2012-07-02 07:34:48 PM
also smarks...rumor has it Ziggles is gonna have a bet 2nd half of 2012...

This is very little, yet promising, news.
 
2012-07-02 07:35:40 PM
Has anyone else seen the new Meme themed futurama promos on Comedy Central? They're pretty good
 
2012-07-02 07:35:47 PM

silgryphon: slamjack: KellyKellyKelly: silgryphon: Allright so the show will be
DB, Kane, and Punk to start
AJ interference
Ryback squash
Brock Lesnar responce
promo
recap
tag team match
recap
promo
Heath Slater match
recap
recap
recap
promo
Cena ends the show

I dunno, playa. With Teddy as GM, you might want to squeeze in at least 3 more tag matches.

WWE.com has Jericho and Bryan vs Cena and Punk. Santino on Twitter says he's in an 8 man tag match, with 4 champs against 4 non champs. R-Truth says he is coming back tonight so possibly Santino, Christian, Truth and Kofi vs some guys.

Ok
Promo
Recap
Tag Team match
promo
recap
Heath Slater Match
promo
recap
promo
Tag team match
promo
recap
Ryback Squash
recap
Dance off
promo
Brock Lesnar/paul heyman/HHH
recap
promo
Tag team match
Cena


Let's be realistic here:

Boredom
Boredom
Ennui
Malaise
Old guy making us remember when wrestling didn't suck quite so much
Boredom
Boredom
Anger
shiatty finish inspiring more anger and vows to quit watching this shiat.
 
2012-07-02 07:38:19 PM
I just realized that we won't have any cool new things until August. I keep waiting for them to do something experimental, but then I remembered SUMMERSLAM: HHH VS LESNER. Why should they try some hot new thing that would only curtain jerk the PPV. You might say "Wouldn't they run with it?" to which I reply "Yeah....HHH kept Lesner around so Lesner could job to him so we'd love HHH some more and think he's better than Rock/Austin"

My big wish which is currently at 10,000,000 to 1 odds is that Taker returns and wins the WWE MITB. Then on Raw the next night, he goes with my retirement match, basically:
A) He's cashing in at WM on the WWE Title
B) It's Title Vs. Streak so he either loses or retires as champion

It would be great for months because you could always tease Taker at the end of a brutal PPV for him to come out, chokeslam someone and then not cash in (because retiring at WM as champ means the most)
 
2012-07-02 07:38:45 PM
still douchebags
 
2012-07-02 07:39:15 PM

Dr J Zoidberg: Has anyone else seen the new Meme themed futurama promos on Comedy Central? They're pretty good


The "Not Sure" Fry ones I do enjoy. Too bad they won't use your special belt edition of JOHN FARKING ZOIDBERG!
 
2012-07-02 07:40:08 PM

Dougie AXP: still douchebags


i1151.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-02 07:41:20 PM
WWE Creative Humor @WWECreative_ish
Teddy Long is in charge, so get ready for several matches featuring The Great Khali #RAWTonight
 
2012-07-02 07:41:48 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Dougie AXP: still douchebags

[i1151.photobucket.com image 439x336]


Oh FFS. Round 2 here we go
 
2012-07-02 07:41:50 PM

lurch_E_bean: Grand_Moff_Joseph: I think we need a Cena Kitteh rating scale, so we can rate each Raw.

If tonight's show gets to 3/5 Cena Kittehs, that would be a miracle.

MINUS FIVE CENA KITTEHS!


I have actually been thinking about the rules of this game today and I am not sure negative numbers would work very well. (partly because I am not sure how to visually represent a negative rating in Cena Kittehs. Maybe put goatees on them? LOL) I am thinking it would be much simpler if votes were straight up zero through five.
 
2012-07-02 07:41:52 PM
Rumor is Punk is going heel and rehashing his ROH devil storyline. #bestintheworld.
 
2012-07-02 07:42:35 PM

globalwarmingpraiser: Rumor is Punk is going heel and rehashing his ROH devil storyline. #bestintheworld.


Devil storyline?
 
2012-07-02 07:42:40 PM

Dr J Zoidberg: FirstNationalBastard: Dougie AXP: still douchebags

[i1151.photobucket.com image 439x336]

Oh FFS. Round 2 here we go


Hey, the sheets say Gagne isn't even going to be on RAW tonight. I had to use that pic somewhere.
 
2012-07-02 07:44:17 PM

FirstNationalBastard: The sheets are saying that WWE wants Bruno Sammartino for the 2013 HoF ceremony.

Of course, Vince also wants ratings in the 5s, and for Kane to have a three-foot dick, and those things ain't happening, either.

Punk vs. Austin for Wrestlemania 29 probably won't happen.

Good.


I'm watching when they finally do induct him. David's gonna do it and it's going to be awkward as a motherf*cker as WWE whitewashes the sh*t out of Bruno's history and his terrible relationship with David.

This will all be after Bruno finally does the job for the Grim reaper though.
 
2012-07-02 07:44:20 PM
Is tonight a special episode or just regular ole terrible?
 
2012-07-02 07:44:21 PM
This may be obvious, but I wonder if this whole Heath Slater things isn't just to build up to him getting his arse whooped by all the legends at the 1,000th show like the La Resistance guy did at Homecoming.

/Rooting every week for Zues and Jake Roberts.

ontariolightning: WWEs star power is waning...


I recognize that you're probably just trolling, but I think this is what HHH is trying to rectify. Much like a baseball GM, he's trying rebuild the minor league system. That's the direction I think they should go with The Network. Create a WWE Territory system and sign affiliate deals with some of the larger Indys.
 
2012-07-02 07:44:41 PM

Dougie AXP: globalwarmingpraiser: Rumor is Punk is going heel and rehashing his ROH devil storyline. #bestintheworld.

Devil storyline?


Link
 
2012-07-02 07:46:26 PM

Dougie AXP: globalwarmingpraiser: Rumor is Punk is going heel and rehashing his ROH devil storyline. #bestintheworld.

Devil storyline?


His big heel turn in Ring of Honor. Included this promo. See if it sounds familiar.


"Isn't this the prettiest little thing you've ever seen? It was over a year ago I held this belt high in the air after I fought for it for the first time in Dayton, Ohio against Samoa Joe and I proclaimed this belt the most important thing to me. Right now, in my hands, as of this day 6/18/05, THIS becomes the most important belt in the world! This belt in the hands of any other man is just a belt, but in my hands it becomes power. Just like this microphone in the hands of any of the boys in the back is just a microphone, but in the hands of a dangerous man like myself it becomes a pipe-bomb. These words that I speak spoken but anybody else are just words strung loosely together to form sentences. What I say I mean, and what I mean I say, and they become anthems! You see, if I could be afforded the time here a little bit of a story. There was once an old man, walking home from work. He was walking in the snow, and he stumbled upon a snake frozen in the ice. He took that snake, and he brought it home, and he took care of it, and he thawed it out, and he nursed it back to health. And as soon as that snake was well enough, it bit the old man. And as the old man lay there dying he asked the snake, 'Why? I took care of you. I loved you. I saved your life.' And that snake looked that man right in the eye and said, 'You stupid old man. I'm a snake.' The greatest thing the devil ever did was make you people believe he didn't exist...and you're looking at him right now! I AM THE DEVIL HIMSELF! And all of you stupid, mindless people fell for it! You all believed in the same make-believe superhero that the legendary Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat saw some year ago today. No, you see, you don't know anything. You followed me hook-line and sinker, all of you did, and I'm not mad at you...I just feel sorry for you. This belongs to me! Everything you see here belongs to me, and I did what I had to do to get my hands on this. Now I am the GREATEST PRO WRESTLER walkin' the Earth today! This is my stage, this is my theater, you are my puppets! When I pulled those marionette strings, and I moved your emotions, and I played with them, and honestly it's 'cause I get off on it. I hate each and every single one of you with a thousand burns and I will not stop...I will not stop until I prove that I am better than you, that I am better than Low Ki, that I am better than AJ Styles! I'm better than Samoa Joe. Ladies and gentlemen, the champ is here! You don't have to love it, but you better learn to accept it. 'Cause I'm taking this with me, and there's not a single person in that locker room that can stop me!"

Punk is going to be the Biggest Heel in the WWE.
 
2012-07-02 07:46:48 PM

hobblekitty: lurch_E_bean: Grand_Moff_Joseph: I think we need a Cena Kitteh rating scale, so we can rate each Raw.

If tonight's show gets to 3/5 Cena Kittehs, that would be a miracle.

MINUS FIVE CENA KITTEHS!

I have actually been thinking about the rules of this game today and I am not sure negative numbers would work very well. (partly because I am not sure how to visually represent a negative rating in Cena Kittehs. Maybe put goatees on them? LOL) I am thinking it would be much simpler if votes were straight up zero through five.


What a negative Cena Kitten may look like...

i1151.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-02 07:47:00 PM
TONIGHT! We crown the 3rd American FARK Wrestling Association Champion!!! The REAL fake championship of the FWC!

The phrase: "Frontal occipital protuberance"

The post: 555
 
2012-07-02 07:47:26 PM
Hello FCW.

I normally watch Raw the morning after, but I'm going to watch it live for once. So maybe I'll be an active participant tonight.
 
2012-07-02 07:47:26 PM

phedex: I just yesterday, after it being dead forever... was able to get my external hard drive working long enough to copy over my wrestling files.

in it, I had
-13 ECW Pay Per Views
-3 years of RAW..97,98, and 99
-4 years of NITRO... 96,97,98, and 99
-15 years of Royal Rumbles

Yes, I nearly cried tears of joy. I am tempted to buy another drive, copy them over just for safe keeping and put it in the closet so I won't lose that stuff again.


Better yet, upload that stuff and share the fun!
 
2012-07-02 07:47:49 PM

verbaltoxin: FirstNationalBastard: The sheets are saying that WWE wants Bruno Sammartino for the 2013 HoF ceremony.

Of course, Vince also wants ratings in the 5s, and for Kane to have a three-foot dick, and those things ain't happening, either.

Punk vs. Austin for Wrestlemania 29 probably won't happen.

Good.

I'm watching when they finally do induct him. David's gonna do it and it's going to be awkward as a motherf*cker as WWE whitewashes the sh*t out of Bruno's history and his terrible relationship with David.

This will all be after Bruno finally does the job for the Grim reaper though.


Yeah, TFS are already saying that Bruno told Vince to go fark himself.
 
2012-07-02 07:48:14 PM

FirstNationalBastard: hobblekitty: lurch_E_bean: Grand_Moff_Joseph: I think we need a Cena Kitteh rating scale, so we can rate each Raw.

If tonight's show gets to 3/5 Cena Kittehs, that would be a miracle.

MINUS FIVE CENA KITTEHS!

I have actually been thinking about the rules of this game today and I am not sure negative numbers would work very well. (partly because I am not sure how to visually represent a negative rating in Cena Kittehs. Maybe put goatees on them? LOL) I am thinking it would be much simpler if votes were straight up zero through five.

What a negative Cena Kitten may look like...

[i1151.photobucket.com image 600x450]


Yes on the goatees! Negative ratings are like the mirror universe! Good Cena Kitteh vs. Evil Cena Kitteh!
 
2012-07-02 07:50:43 PM
Punk heel turn? Already?
 
2012-07-02 07:50:53 PM

FirstNationalBastard: The sheets are saying that WWE wants Bruno Sammartino for the 2013 HoF ceremony.


They've wanted him every year. But Bruno's still bitter about the whole "sports entertainment" thing and turns them down every year. It's an open invitation and it'll be up to Bruno when or if he's inducted.
 
2012-07-02 07:51:00 PM
I can't believe we have to wait until July 12th to see a new episode of Suits. What? Do the actors need time off for a pre-recorded episode?
 
2012-07-02 07:52:12 PM
I would love to see Zeus squash Heath Slater tonight.

The perfect ending to that match would be R-Truth running in after the match, grabbing a mic, hovering over Slater and exclaiming

YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FARK OUT!

There would be many lawls from me.
 
2012-07-02 07:52:34 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Dougie AXP: still douchebags

[i1151.photobucket.com image 439x336]


You know what? Let's make that the official preshow Blast from the Past.

Team DX vs. Team Rated RKO, Survivor Series 2006
 
2012-07-02 07:52:55 PM

Dr J Zoidberg: I can't believe we have to wait until July 12th to see a new episode of Suits. What? Do the actors need time off for a pre-recorded episode?


No new episodes of anything on USA during July 4th Holiday week. They're probably afraid the holiday would kill ratings.
 
2012-07-02 07:54:44 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Dr J Zoidberg: I can't believe we have to wait until July 12th to see a new episode of Suits. What? Do the actors need time off for a pre-recorded episode?

No new episodes of anything on USA during July 4th Holiday week. They're probably afraid the holiday would kill ratings.


That sort of makes sense, except for the fact that for me personally, July 5th is just another day like every other one.

YMMV
 
2012-07-02 07:56:07 PM
WWE's Monday Night Raw has reached the point where the only thing that could save the show is if Zeus appears to pimp the new No Holds Barred DVD the return of the most dominant wrestler in history.
 
2012-07-02 07:57:52 PM

inert: WWE's Monday Night Raw has reached the point where the only thing that could save the show is if Zeus appears to pimp the new No Holds Barred DVD the return of the most dominant wrestler in history.


I would mark out like there was no tomorrow if the Brawler came back.
 
2012-07-02 07:58:21 PM
I can live with episodes of NCIS:LA coming on before RAW, if for no other reason than the fact that Daniela Ruah is hot as fark

proof

img002.lazygirls.info
 
2012-07-02 07:59:02 PM
ACTUALLY, based on reports of who will be squashing Heath Slater this week, here's a blast from the past.

Enjoy the crowd reaction at the unmasking and his promo. Cry when you remember he'd be jobbing to The Undertaker's wife in a month.
 
2012-07-02 08:00:25 PM

Ed Becker: Actually, one of the sheets is saying the rumor is the superstar of the past will be DDP.


Big DDeal

If DDP Bring these guys with, I'll show you MARKING OUT.

i968.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-02 08:00:49 PM

inert: WWE's Monday Night Raw has reached the point where the only thing that could save the show is if Zeus appears to pimp the new No Holds Barred DVD the return of the most dominant wrestler in history.


We can make jokes about Steve Lombardi all day, but he had many important jobs besides jobber. If you were wrestling Steve, you were basically being evaluated on your performance.
 
2012-07-02 08:02:11 PM
How about Barry Horowitz?

And why do I think he has a win over Triple H...
 
2012-07-02 08:02:18 PM

P-Money All $tar: Ed Becker: Actually, one of the sheets is saying the rumor is the superstar of the past will be DDP.

Big DDeal

If DDP Bring these guys with, I'll show you MARKING OUT.

[i968.photobucket.com image 291x402]


If the WWF Brought them back, they would be the Orient Express.
 
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