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(AZCentral)   You know how sometimes you're driving and shaving your balls, and a trucker gets all offended just because you keep speeding up and slowing down to keep pace with him? I hate that   (azcentral.com) divider line 55
    More: Dumbass, Northampton County, Guy Labar  
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12903 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2012 at 2:06 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-02 12:03:34 AM
I agree with Patton Oswalt... What happened to the good old days when shaving your balls was an event that involved midgets shaving your scrotum with a strop razor and scented lather?

Now you can just shave them in a car, like it's no big deal?
 
2012-07-02 12:16:25 AM
What guy doesn't put razor blades to his nutsack in places one can hit a bump at high speeds? This defense makes perfect sense to me.
 
2012-07-02 12:29:16 AM
Don't judge me.
 
2012-07-02 01:00:42 AM

Relatively Obscure: What guy doesn't put razor blades to his nutsack in places one can hit a bump at high speeds? This defense makes perfect sense to me.


It may have been an electric razor.
 
2012-07-02 01:17:37 AM

Ambivalence: Relatively Obscure: What guy doesn't put razor blades to his nutsack in places one can hit a bump at high speeds? This defense makes perfect sense to me.

It may have been an electric razor.


That sounds almost equally horrible.
 
2012-07-02 01:24:40 AM

Relatively Obscure: Ambivalence: Relatively Obscure: What guy doesn't put razor blades to his nutsack in places one can hit a bump at high speeds? This defense makes perfect sense to me.

It may have been an electric razor.

That sounds almost equally horrible.


Or unimaginably incredible.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
 
2012-07-02 02:08:57 AM
I knew I wasn't the only one.who multitasks his commute.
 
2012-07-02 02:11:11 AM

Ambivalence: Relatively Obscure: Ambivalence: Relatively Obscure: What guy doesn't put razor blades to his nutsack in places one can hit a bump at high speeds? This defense makes perfect sense to me.

It may have been an electric razor.

That sounds almost equally horrible.

Or unimaginably incredible.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZ.


Followed by yelps of pain every time it snags on a hair
 
2012-07-02 02:12:40 AM
nut shaving should never be a mobile activity.
 
2012-07-02 02:12:57 AM
If I can't drive home from work on a Friday afternoon with my balls hanging out and a Mountain Dew slurpee in my cup holder then why the f*ck don't we just let the terrorists win?
 
2012-07-02 02:21:23 AM
lot lizard training obviously suffering due to cutbacks
 
2012-07-02 02:25:22 AM
farm5.staticflickr.com

"...but the street has to be pretty smooth".
 
2012-07-02 02:32:31 AM
Sure you laugh now. But let's see what your boss says when you go into work with two days growth on your nutsack.
 
2012-07-02 02:38:36 AM
FTFA "Defense attorney James Swetz says" His balls don't
 
2012-07-02 02:40:02 AM
At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
 
2012-07-02 02:47:06 AM
www.vinyl45s.com
 
2012-07-02 02:48:02 AM
Testicular stubble is abrasive to the shaft. While I do trim the freakishly long hairs, I use conditioner to experience a soft but lush man bush.

EIP, BIE ?

No wie please.
 
2012-07-02 02:57:09 AM

apachevoyeur: Testicular stubble is abrasive to the shaft. While I do trim the freakishly long hairs, I use conditioner to experience a soft but lush man bush.

EIP, BIE ?

No wie please.


Why the wie warning? Have you obtained unsolicited wie?
 
2012-07-02 02:59:09 AM
Back when I was a young man, and quite the horny one, I couldn't make it from Cincinnati to Salina, Kansas without whipping it out. I took that drive quite often, and recall one time that I decided on a little CBT in addition to masturbation at about Columbia, Missouri. Driving at 60 on I-70 with your sclong tied to the steering wheel is an experience I'll never forget. I'd always throw a newspaper over the scene when the trucks approached. Got off an awesome wank, and was good to go until I had to stop in Topeka for gas.
 
2012-07-02 03:04:45 AM

Kanemano: nut shaving should never be a mobile activity.


It's nut as if he were texting, that sh*t is dangerous.
 
2012-07-02 03:09:15 AM

mhuckins: apachevoyeur: Testicular stubble is abrasive to the shaft. While I do trim the freakishly long hairs, I use conditioner to experience a soft but lush man bush.

EIP, BIE ?

No wie please.

Why the wie warning? Have you obtained unsolicited wie?


Not yet, but until Gmail has wie filters I will remain vigilant.
 
2012-07-02 03:16:52 AM
Well when the hell do they expect you to shave your balls? I mean with the modern schedule, who has time to spend just on work to the man berries? The car is an ideal place to spend time grooming the dangly bits to make sure they are in top presentation condition.

:)
 
2012-07-02 03:19:17 AM

sycraft: Well when the hell do they expect you to shave your balls? I mean with the modern schedule, who has time to spend just on work to the man berries? The car is an ideal place to spend time grooming the dangly bits to make sure they are in top presentation condition.

:)


And with the modern razors available, the most you will get is a little nick if you hit a pothole. It's not like you'll cut the goddamn things off.
 
2012-07-02 03:20:31 AM

sycraft: Well when the hell do they expect you to shave your balls? I mean with the modern schedule, who has time to spend just on work to the man berries? The car is an ideal place to spend time grooming the dangly bits to make sure they are in top presentation condition.

:)


But why shave? It is best to just pluck the hairs off by hand or by tweezer. Sure, it takes longer, but the results are astonishing.
 
2012-07-02 03:24:17 AM

Matthew Keene: Back when I was a young man, and quite the horny one, I couldn't make it from Cincinnati to Salina, Kansas without whipping it out. I took that drive quite often, and recall one time that I decided on a little CBT in addition to masturbation at about Columbia, Missouri. Driving at 60 on I-70 with your sclong tied to the steering wheel is an experience I'll never forget. I'd always throw a newspaper over the scene when the trucks approached. Got off an awesome wank, and was good to go until I had to stop in Topeka for gas.


Good thing the Columbia cops didn't catch you. They aren't the friendliest force out there.
 
2012-07-02 03:30:57 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Home laser hair removal tool. Never dared to try it, it's a friggin' burning laser diode, the way you test it is by burning through a sheet of paper. BTW, googling the online reviews are pretty horrifying, varying from "it doesn't remove hair", to "dear god it burns!" to "leaves little black holes burned in your skin" to "I'm literally scarred for life, by literally I mean literally":
"This product Epila Laser Hair Remover is not work, beside its will damage your skin. "
S. Wong | 3 reviewers made a similar statement
"The product gave me 2 scars in my legs, never eliminated any hair and if you have a bit of it, it burns! "
"I read the reviews at the Amazon web page, an even though they were very bad, I decided to buy it, big mistake.
The Epila lacer hair remover just burned my skin, and did nothing what so ever to the unwanted hair...
Don't make the same mistake as me, please don't buy it."
"I bought this for my girlfriend for a few wild hairs that never seemed to stop growing. They were been replaced with wicked scars that are probably more annoying to her than the long hairs ever could have been. I could spend the rest of this review whinning about how poor this product is, but it could never convey the amount of disdain I have for it. [Plus, she says this product hurt like hell.]"
 
2012-07-02 03:39:26 AM
Do I have to be the first?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-07-02 03:55:27 AM

Matthew Keene: Back when I was a young man, and quite the horny one, I couldn't make it from Cincinnati to Salina, Kansas without whipping it out. I took that drive quite often, and recall one time that I decided on a little CBT in addition to masturbation at about Columbia, Missouri. Driving at 60 on I-70 with your sclong tied to the steering wheel is an experience I'll never forget. I'd always throw a newspaper over the scene when the trucks approached. Got off an awesome wank, and was good to go until I had to stop in Topeka for gas.


I..I, wow.. I really didn't need to know that.
 
2012-07-02 04:07:49 AM
I wonder if the guy driving the Honda Element yesterday who decided to match my speed after entering the highway from a ramp was doing this... The guy driving the Beemer behind us was pretty pissed. I was both amused and annoyed.
 
2012-07-02 04:22:54 AM
i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-07-02 05:28:34 AM
Duel II: A Vas Deferens In Perspectives
 
2012-07-02 05:50:49 AM

Nightmaretony: Do I have to be the first?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 570x404]


Yes - and I appreciate your saving me the trouble.
 
2012-07-02 06:59:34 AM
"Hey Billy Big Rigger, this is Fuzzy Nuts knocking on your back door. Im'a need you to drop the hammer down so I can do some yard work, come back"
 
2012-07-02 07:11:19 AM
w3rd.

/Tell me about it.
 
2012-07-02 07:31:57 AM
FTFA:"Defense attorney James Swetz says 'looks can be deceiving.'"

So shearing the shrubbery really does make the tree look taller?

*looks thoughtfully at electric clippers and razor*

Hmmm
 
2012-07-02 07:45:11 AM
You know, It's really not the balls that are the hard part to shave but the taint, especially with the bucket seats and all, you really have to dig deep to get a clean close shave at 65 miles per hour.
 
2012-07-02 07:51:59 AM
sixpacktech.com
Hi, Guy...
 
2012-07-02 07:52:41 AM

Baby Face Fister: You know, It's really not the balls that are the hard part to shave but the taint,


It's insane, this guy's taint! NSFW language
 
2012-07-02 08:13:32 AM
I can't say if the site is still up since I'm at work and don't want the URL popping up in my browsing history, but this site used to be awesome:

SFW, too. Barely.
 
2012-07-02 09:16:55 AM
Seriously we haven't learned anything from Florida. Set the cruise and have an ex steer while on the way to a date.
 
2012-07-02 09:23:51 AM
I usually let the wood slats in my chair take care of the worst of it.
 
2012-07-02 09:31:30 AM
I really didn't know anyone but porn stars shaved their balls. It sounds precarious even under the best circumstances.
 
2012-07-02 09:54:22 AM

Mugato: I really didn't know anyone but porn stars shaved their balls. It sounds precarious even under the best circumstances.


I consider ball shaving to be one of the most intimate acts that couples can do together. He steers, while I delicately but firmly apply the razor to his gibblets.
 
2012-07-02 10:26:32 AM
 
2012-07-02 11:12:04 AM

Chevello: FTFA:"Defense attorney James Swetz says 'looks can be deceiving.'"

So shearing the shrubbery really does make the tree look taller?

*looks thoughtfully at electric clippers and razor*

Hmmm


don't use the electric clippers on the sack!

that wrinkly skin will get caught up in the devastation.

you been warned.
 
2012-07-02 11:13:11 AM

colon_pow: Chevello: FTFA:"Defense attorney James Swetz says 'looks can be deceiving.'"

So shearing the shrubbery really does make the tree look taller?

*looks thoughtfully at electric clippers and razor*

Hmmm

don't use the electric clippers on the sack!

that wrinkly skin will get caught up in the devastation.

you been warned.


Might I ask how you acquired this bit of wisdom?
 
2012-07-02 11:24:22 AM

Matthew Keene: colon_pow: Chevello: FTFA:"Defense attorney James Swetz says 'looks can be deceiving.'"

So shearing the shrubbery really does make the tree look taller?

*looks thoughtfully at electric clippers and razor*

Hmmm

don't use the electric clippers on the sack!

that wrinkly skin will get caught up in the devastation.

you been warned.

Might I ask how you acquired this bit of wisdom?


i learned the hard way. don't even put them clippers anywhere close to the wrinkly sack. a bloody scrotum is not a pretty sight.
 
2012-07-02 11:55:21 AM
Matthew Keene

UCSB. Spare us the TMI.

What the hell is a CBT?
 
2012-07-02 12:07:29 PM
oyster.ignimgs.com

/do i have to do everything around here?!
 
2012-07-02 12:30:35 PM

colon_pow: Matthew Keene: colon_pow: Chevello: FTFA:"Defense attorney James Swetz says 'looks can be deceiving.'"

So shearing the shrubbery really does make the tree look taller?

*looks thoughtfully at electric clippers and razor*

Hmmm

don't use the electric clippers on the sack!

that wrinkly skin will get caught up in the devastation.

you been warned.

Might I ask how you acquired this bit of wisdom?

i learned the hard way. don't even put them clippers anywhere close to the wrinkly sack. a bloody scrotum is not a pretty sight.


That's what the plastic attachment thingies are for. You gotta get close gradually. There shouldn't be any hurry.

Don't worry, I'm a professional

\but professional WHAT?
 
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