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(Daily Mail)   Hello? Yes, this is God   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Cool, CERN, god, Edinburgh University, LHC, positive result, Peter Higgs, higgs particles, particle accelerators  
•       •       •

29201 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2012 at 11:38 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-07-01 11:42:55 PM  
14 votes:
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
2012-07-01 10:43:16 PM  
11 votes:
i2.kym-cdn.com
2012-07-02 12:22:09 AM  
10 votes:
funny-pictures-blog.com
2012-07-01 11:59:19 PM  
9 votes:
weknowmemes.com
2012-07-01 11:51:32 PM  
9 votes:

larrycot: I have irrefutable proof that humans never actually mature beyond 12 years of age.

I can't read Large Hadron Collider without unintentionally transposing it to Hardon.

/It's a small sample size
//Need to go write a grant


www.nightmarepark.com
2012-07-02 12:18:29 AM  
7 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 12:01:26 AM  
7 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 12:07:45 AM  
6 votes:

Because People in power are Stupid: Physicists first predicted that the Higgs Boson subatomic particle exists 48 years ago.

So what gave atoms mass prior to 48 years ago?


Tiny lead weights.

/Higgs destroyed an entire industry overnight.
2012-07-02 12:00:09 AM  
6 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-01 10:11:25 PM  
6 votes:

cman: Can someone dumb it down even more for a moron like me? Thank you


This particle explains why your mom is fat.
2012-07-01 09:17:10 PM  
6 votes:
i3.kym-cdn.com

woof, woof
2012-07-01 07:38:15 PM  
6 votes:
Pfft... let me know when they find a dog particle.
2012-07-02 02:55:47 AM  
5 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 12:14:34 AM  
5 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2012-07-02 12:02:24 AM  
5 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-01 11:23:56 PM  
5 votes:
www.wired.com

"Kent, this is god."

/obscure?
2012-07-01 07:24:20 PM  
5 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.google.com
2012-07-02 08:24:35 AM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-07-02 12:19:03 AM  
4 votes:
imgs.xkcd.com
2012-07-01 11:50:46 PM  
4 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

He can't reply, God. Sorry. Gordon doesn't talk.
2012-07-01 10:52:42 PM  
4 votes:
Turns out it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster particle. Who knew?
2012-07-01 07:11:31 PM  
4 votes:
Has nothing to do with god, just someone's poor explanation for the ignorant masses.
2012-07-02 04:10:38 AM  
3 votes:
i2.kym-cdn.com
2012-07-02 02:03:40 AM  
3 votes:
sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net
2012-07-02 01:03:18 AM  
3 votes:
dilbert.com
2012-07-02 12:35:37 AM  
3 votes:

Steve Zodiac: Higgs is the name of the man who figured out what the mass/energy level of the particle which causes mass would have to be.


So is this Higgs Boson the elementary particle responsible for my toast always landing butter side down?

Because f*ck that particle.
2012-07-02 12:31:42 AM  
3 votes:

Ringshadow: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]

He can't reply, God. Sorry. Gordon doesn't talk.


img593.imageshack.us
2012-07-02 12:17:45 AM  
3 votes:
i.qkme.me
2012-07-02 07:32:53 AM  
2 votes:
i235.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 06:51:34 AM  
2 votes:
2012-07-02 06:49:43 AM  
2 votes:
Fark is now discussing confirmation of a major scientific hypothesis, as announced in the Daily Fail. Independent confirmation will be announced in the National Enquirer.
2012-07-02 02:50:09 AM  
2 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 02:35:10 AM  
2 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 01:37:33 AM  
2 votes:
Hello Homer...this...is God...

images.wikia.com

...frey Jones.

/Can't believe we got 1000 dog pics, and I'm first to think this. Or at least comment!
2012-07-02 01:36:04 AM  
2 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2012-07-02 12:31:00 AM  
2 votes:
i3.ytimg.com

-I think we all know where this is heading...
2012-07-01 11:44:40 PM  
2 votes:
Why can't all these smart people get together and pass a federal budget?
2012-07-01 11:40:08 PM  
2 votes:
frey Jones
2012-07-01 11:29:02 PM  
2 votes:

snuff3r: [www.wired.com image 200x200]

"Kent, this is god."

/obscure?


On Fark? Really? Obscure?

/stop playing with yourself
2012-07-01 10:48:02 PM  
2 votes:
Thank Christ.

/Margaret
2012-07-01 09:47:57 PM  
2 votes:
dtdstudios.com
2012-07-01 07:13:45 PM  
2 votes:
Can someone dumb it down even more for a moron like me? Thank you
2012-07-02 11:29:41 PM  
1 vote:

i296.photobucket.com

Hello
Yes, this is "Bob".

2012-07-02 08:33:47 PM  
1 vote:
img10.imageshack.us
2012-07-02 01:12:14 PM  
1 vote:

Max Awesome: [i42.photobucket.com image 549x1023]


lh3.googleusercontent.com

That looks like my Coonhound Sadie...why is she using the payphone to call Dog and not her cell phone?
2012-07-02 12:29:12 PM  
1 vote:

Steve Zodiac: cman: Can someone dumb it down even more for a moron like me? Thank you

I will probably get part of this wrong, but here is my understanding. Under the Standard Model of Quantum physics, all forces are really particles which interact with with atoms, or parts of atoms. So electricity, magnetism, nuclear forces (strong and weak) and gravity are all caused by the interaction of particles on atoms. The holy grail of physics is to find one theory which explains all 4 forces (nuclear, gravity, etc). Magnetism and electricity were actually explained as different aspects of the same force by a man named Maxwell in the 1860's. The nuclear forces were figured out in the 1920's and 30's, and they were tied to the electro-magnetic theory in 50's thru the 70's. Gravity has not been integrated into this theory. One of the problems with the particle theory of force is why do some things have mass (you, me, stars, planets, etc) while some things don't- light photons, neutrinos, and other exotic things which have been proven to exist but to the best of our measurement (which keeps getting better) do not have mass. For simplistic purposes, consider mass to be what we 'weigh' when we put something on a weight scale. Photons would not ever weigh anything, no matter how massive a planet or sun their weight was measured on. Gravity can affect these items but cannot not make them 'weigh' anything, or more accurately, have any mass. The Higgs Boson is a theoretical particle which would allow this type of behavior to occur. It is that particle which causes things to have mass, at least theoretically, by interacting with atoms or the components of atoms. Scientists were able to predict that IF the Higgs Boson existed it had to be found at a certain energy level. The Large Hadron Collider is the first man made detector capable of producing the energy required to find the Higgs Boson. If they found it within the energy range that theory predicted then it may finally allow physicists to tie ...


Higgs Boson creates Mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2012-07-02 09:39:38 AM  
1 vote:
"WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE"
2012-07-02 09:27:49 AM  
1 vote:
God's not here, man.
2012-07-02 09:08:02 AM  
1 vote:
Sorry, got distracted by all the HELLO! This is Dog! pics...

Serious question though... Saw they find it, how exactly would that change anything other than our understanding of how certain stuff interacts? Can this lead towards something like how to contain fusion or develop warp drives?

/This are serious cat, this are serious questions!
2012-07-02 06:54:03 AM  
1 vote:
i0.kym-cdn.com
2012-07-02 04:51:27 AM  
1 vote:

MasterAdkins: Has nothing to do with god, just someone's poor explanation for the ignorant masses.


Religion is the opiate of them asses.
2012-07-02 04:24:43 AM  
1 vote:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 02:53:14 AM  
1 vote:
The "Large Hardon Collider" sounds pretty painful.
2012-07-02 02:23:53 AM  
1 vote:

Oznog: Honestly, they gave this the lamest name.

Star Trek TOS has photon torpedoes.

Star Wars had proton torpedoes.

Star Trek (DS9 IIRC) introduced "quantum" torpedoes. And Star Trek has been mentioning neutrinos for quite some time.

When are they gonna bring in a "boson-based" weapon? Never. Because it sounds stupid.

I'm not saying they've dissed Star Trek because of this. I'm just saying this is evidence that the name's stupid. People as a whole don't understand the nature or significance of this work, but they still give money for things that are "cool".

You gave it a stupid, unusable name. You blew it.


A wise man once said the same about the Big Bang and offered a new moniker. Unfortunately, the only being he told was his stuffed tiger.
2012-07-02 01:53:01 AM  
1 vote:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 01:38:46 AM  
1 vote:

Need_MindBleach: phrawgh: Deep Contact: So they found a smaller particle and then they will find an even smaller particle, you see where I'm going.

Yes. It's infinitesimal particles all the way down.

Seriously, has this ever been theorized?


www.themodernword.com
2012-07-02 01:37:43 AM  
1 vote:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-07-02 01:26:53 AM  
1 vote:
So. This is a Daily Fail article. Can we perhaps come up with independent confirmation of this discovery?
2012-07-02 01:21:53 AM  
1 vote:
Aye, all this talk takes me back years and years.

I spent a summer working for a craggy old captain, maintaining the equipment on a shaggy old ore freighter. Captain Higgs was drunk most of the time, and I was going from maintenance project to maintenance project on a ship with no AC in the middle of the Pacific.

Sigh, I will always remember the summer I was Higg's bosun.

/It's not particles all the way down
//It's NOTHING at the bottom. The universe is zero.
2012-07-02 01:09:01 AM  
1 vote:

SharkTrager: Dude, there is leaked evidence of a Higgs Bosun discovery about every 3 days.


So at least we have a pretty good estimate of it's half-life.
2012-07-02 01:05:52 AM  
1 vote:
Scientists 'will say they are 99.99% certain' the particle has been found

www.ocdqblog.com
2012-07-02 01:05:18 AM  
1 vote:

wantingout: but...but... so what gives the higgs boson ITS mass?


It's bosons all the way down.
2012-07-02 01:05:07 AM  
1 vote:

wantingout: but...but... so what gives the higgs boson ITS mass?


Going by the maturity of this thread and the fact someone actually asked that question, I must inform you that it is your mom.
2012-07-02 12:59:46 AM  
1 vote:
but...but... so what gives the higgs boson ITS mass?
2012-07-02 12:31:57 AM  
1 vote:

phrawgh: Why can't all these smart people get together and pass a federal budget?


Unfortunately, smart people have no inherent powers under the law just for being smart. Our democratic system requires that all citizens at least potentially have a voice in the process, and who gets to do what is fundamentally decided by popular vote. And it turns out that most citizens are not very smart, and don't elect smart people to do things like that.
2012-07-02 12:27:18 AM  
1 vote:
They spent millions on this shiat?? What a waste of time and money.

Why not spend that money on something useful - like education or porn?
2012-07-02 12:22:07 AM  
1 vote:
i.dailymail.co.uknewimages.bwwstatic.com

I want the last check I write to bounce.
2012-07-02 12:08:47 AM  
1 vote:

MasterAdkins: Has nothing to do with god, just someone's poor explanation for the ignorant masses.


Cripes.
Have more baggage.
2012-07-02 12:04:04 AM  
1 vote:

MasterAdkins: Has nothing to do with god, just someone's poor explanation for the ignorant masses.


Actually, it was just a victim of censorship. The physicist who coined the term actually wanted to call it "the goddamn particle," but his editor changed it.
2012-07-02 12:00:30 AM  
1 vote:
www.motifake.com
2012-07-01 11:58:04 PM  
1 vote:

snuff3r: /obscure?


Like a house full of popcorn.
2012-07-01 11:55:28 PM  
1 vote:
go.sky.com

"the mathematics of wonton burrito meals...got it"
2012-07-01 11:47:03 PM  
1 vote:

Deep Contact: So they found a smaller particle and then they will find an even smaller particle, you see where I'm going.


Yes. It's infinitesimal particles all the way down.
2012-07-01 10:43:33 PM  
1 vote:
I would be impressed if they did find God, in particular.

I'd also have a few choice words for Him.
2012-07-01 09:42:03 PM  
1 vote:

skinink: Why are we building these machines just to look for the crumbs of God?


Because we stopped building spaceships to look for His Face ...
2012-07-01 09:36:23 PM  
1 vote:
I have irrefutable proof that humans never actually mature beyond 12 years of age.

I can't read Large Hadron Collider without unintentionally transposing it to Hardon.

/It's a small sample size
//Need to go write a grant
2012-07-01 09:17:34 PM  
1 vote:

revrendjim: Majick Thise: Steve Zodiac: light photons

I may also be wrong but I thought photons had a minuscule mass.... I thought that solar sails were a tech that was proven to work at least in theory. Google tells me that that do work but a very quick search doesn't confirm the 'mass' theory

No, photons have energy and momentum, but no mass.


okay I believe you rather than me because you're a Reverend. (and because I am most likely wrong)
 
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