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(The Atlantic Wire)   Want to know how many days, minutes, and seconds you have left to find a man and bear his child? There's a biological clock app for that   (theatlanticwire.com) divider line 26
    More: Weird, application software, doctor's visit  
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2506 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 Jul 2012 at 5:10 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-01 05:17:54 PM
Is there an app that detects that app so I know to give a fake name?
 
2012-07-01 05:30:56 PM

Ashtrey: Is there an app that detects that app so I know to give a fake name?


I'd want an app to tell me where they are at so I know to avoid them like the plague. A money sucking plague that lasts for 18+ years.
 
2012-07-01 06:15:47 PM
I'm gad Mrs. Smurf had already been to the vet before we met. No worries about new crotchfruit for us. 7 more years the spawn from earlier marriages will be gone.
 
2012-07-01 06:17:12 PM
i don't want to find a man who has a bear and treats it like his child.
 
2012-07-01 06:25:40 PM

starlost: i don't want to find a man who has a bear and treats it like his child.


No, no. You find a man who already has a child and force it to wear a bear costume.
 
2012-07-01 06:28:20 PM
I had my only child when I was 26. I think the doctors must have removed the biological clock during the crash c-section, along with some pieces of my sanity that I really could have used.

/got fixed when my daughter was a year old
//natural immunity to baby fever
 
2012-07-01 06:45:54 PM
Anyone happen to know what it is like to have the biological clock go off? I keep hearing people talk about it but no one ever really describes it. Is it a sudden feeling of intense loneliness?
 
2012-07-01 06:53:29 PM
So is punching yourself in the crotch like hitting snooze?
 
2012-07-01 07:45:47 PM

Gergesa: Anyone happen to know what it is like to have the biological clock go off? I keep hearing people talk about it but no one ever really describes it. Is it a sudden feeling of intense loneliness?


From what I've observed, it's the exact moment a person realizes they have wasted their life and want a "do over".
 
2012-07-01 08:12:27 PM
Baby Grindr?
 
2012-07-01 08:26:37 PM
You know, I wasn't paying very careful attention but then I saw the words "man" and "bear" is such close proximity and my mind went in all sorts of interesting directions . . .
 
2012-07-01 11:59:21 PM
It helps to read the article with Billy Joel's Pressure playing in your head.
 
2012-07-02 12:04:33 AM
I have this app. It's Thursday.
 
2012-07-02 12:43:09 AM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: You know, I wasn't paying very careful attention but then I saw the words "man" and "bear" is such close proximity and my mind went in all sorts of interesting directions . . .


Even worse when "pig" is in the vicinity.
 
2012-07-02 12:52:28 AM
Your biological clock:

Under 18? Too young.
Over 35? Too old.
 
2012-07-02 02:24:15 AM
Gergesa: Anyone happen to know what it is like to have the biological clock go off? I keep hearing people talk about it but no one ever really describes it. Is it a sudden feeling of intense loneliness?

From what I've seen, it's when a woman gets baby fever and suddenly can only focus on babies. She develops a psychological need to have one.

FTFA: And another extreme, of course, are women who are "shunned" or must provide excuses for never wanting kids at all.

With our population problem, it is really sad that this happens. I can confirm that it does. I've had nearly complete strangers demand that I have children.

I was hoping that there was some way of telling when menopause can be expected, but she just made something up :(
 
2012-07-02 02:41:17 AM

Gergesa: Anyone happen to know what it is like to have the biological clock go off? I keep hearing people talk about it but no one ever really describes it. Is it a sudden feeling of intense loneliness?


THERE'S NOBODY LEFT! I'M ALL ALONE!
 
2012-07-02 02:42:58 AM
Oh yeah, NSFW language.
 
2012-07-02 03:12:14 AM

studebaker hoch: Your biological clock:

Under 18? Too young.
Over 35? Too old.


This. I had 3 before I was 25, and got snipped. Best decision of my life. I had all the energy I needed to keep up with them, and can now deal with them as equals as adults. Having kids over 35 (40 at a stretch) is an entirely selfish act. I cannot imagine having to deal with teenage rebellion when I'm pushing 60.

Grandkids, on the other hand, I'm gonna spoil rotten!
 
2012-07-02 04:25:45 AM

NotARocketScientist: Gergesa: Anyone happen to know what it is like to have the biological clock go off? I keep hearing people talk about it but no one ever really describes it. Is it a sudden feeling of intense loneliness?

From what I've seen, it's when a woman gets baby fever and suddenly can only focus on babies. She develops a psychological need to have one.

FTFA: And another extreme, of course, are women who are "shunned" or must provide excuses for never wanting kids at all.

With our population problem, it is really sad that this happens. I can confirm that it does. I've had nearly complete strangers demand that I have children.

I was hoping that there was some way of telling when menopause can be expected, but she just made something up :(


Me, too.

Many years ago, I did some Google-fu, and discovered that early menarche doesn't necessarily correlate with early menopause. It was one of the crappier discoveries I've made in life. *sigh*
 
2012-07-02 12:37:41 PM
Want to know how many days, minutes, and seconds you have left to find a man and bear his child continue using birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancies? There's a biological clock app for that

FIXED

/kids are cool
//just don't want any
 
2012-07-02 03:04:19 PM

Assimilate This: studebaker hoch: Your biological clock:

Under 18? Too young.
Over 35? Too old.

This. I had 3 before I was 25, and got snipped. Best decision of my life. I had all the energy I needed to keep up with them, and can now deal with them as equals as adults. Having kids over 35 (40 at a stretch) is an entirely selfish act. I cannot imagine having to deal with teenage rebellion when I'm pushing 60.

Grandkids, on the other hand, I'm gonna spoil rotten!


Hahahahahaha you got old fast then huh...

Im 40 and have a 2 yr old, I also have three other older kids. You know how to raise them at this age and there is no rebellion. I partied till I was 30 too bad you missed out.
 
2012-07-02 06:19:26 PM

studebaker hoch: Your biological clock:

Under 18? Too young.
Over 35? Too old.


Basically This.

No matter how much we tell ourselves that having a "career" is important or that we need to be financially stable and perfect before we have kids. The truth is, there is a very limited window during which procreation is available.

And if we don't adjust our culture (and economy) to meet this window, having healthy and viable families will become very difficult, not to mention extremely expensive.

/and having healthy viable families are essential for any nation.
 
2012-07-02 06:34:09 PM

attention span of a retarded fruit fly: Assimilate This: studebaker hoch: Your biological clock:

Under 18? Too young.
Over 35? Too old.

This. I had 3 before I was 25, and got snipped. Best decision of my life. I had all the energy I needed to keep up with them, and can now deal with them as equals as adults. Having kids over 35 (40 at a stretch) is an entirely selfish act. I cannot imagine having to deal with teenage rebellion when I'm pushing 60.

Grandkids, on the other hand, I'm gonna spoil rotten!

Hahahahahaha you got old fast then huh...

Im 40 and have a 2 yr old, I also have three other older kids. You know how to raise them at this age and there is no rebellion. I partied till I was 30 too bad you missed out.


As someone who is/has watched 2 families go through having kids at 40....

...you are completely mistaken.

Could you be better parent at this age, personally? Well, if it took you a long time to mature, that might not be a bad thing to wait. You might indeed be better at this age. (That doesn't mean others needed to wait this long though.)

Does that mean your parenting will run into no rebellion and be a breeze? No. Being older doesn't automatically mean you'll do everything right, or even most of it right.

All kids are different. What works for some, doesn't work for others. Some will rebel under an environment where the others were perfectly happy (seen this too.)

The problem with being 60 and dealing with teenagers, is that you don't have the energy you used to and it is very exhausting to keep up with the natural boundary pushing they do at that age, particularly if they run a bit on the feisty side. (Again it depends on the kid.)

And of course, the odds of you being able to do much with or even live to see your grandchildren is in doubt. (Although, that may not matter for some people, so it depends on the individual.)

If waiting until 40 to have kids is right for you. That's fine. It is an entirely personal decision.

To mock other people for their choices, just because it doesn't match yours, is very childish though.
 
2012-07-03 01:39:44 AM

attention span of a retarded fruit fly: Assimilate This: studebaker hoch: Your biological clock:

Under 18? Too young.
Over 35? Too old.

This. I had 3 before I was 25, and got snipped. Best decision of my life. I had all the energy I needed to keep up with them, and can now deal with them as equals as adults. Having kids over 35 (40 at a stretch) is an entirely selfish act. I cannot imagine having to deal with teenage rebellion when I'm pushing 60.

Grandkids, on the other hand, I'm gonna spoil rotten!

Hahahahahaha you got old fast then huh...

Im 40 and have a 2 yr old, I also have three other older kids. You know how to raise them at this age and there is no rebellion. I partied till I was 30 too bad you missed out.


I missed out on nothing. I party all I want now, sometimes with my adult kids. If they should happen to have a child that they are unable to care for, I would gladly take him or her into my heart and home, and give them all the love I gave my kids, with the benefit of the wisdom of my years.
 
2012-07-03 02:57:09 AM
Getting pregnant and bearing children is a biological urge filtered through social indoctrination, not an absolute necessity. And there are too damn many people on the planet already, most of whom are flipping stupid.

We have the technology to make sterility the norm -- and we should use it. In the meantime we should spread a new bumper sticker: "Save the planet: get your tubes tied."
 
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