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(Daily Mail)   Tom Cruise's three wives all experienced the 33-year itch   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 85
    More: Weird, Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise, Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, MGM Grand Las Vegas, Perez Hilton, Mission Impossible, leading man  
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11996 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 01 Jul 2012 at 1:43 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-01 09:21:26 AM  
There a lot of conflicting numbers out there about when sex lives "peak" but generally it's agreed that by early 30s, it's trend downhill for women. Could it be that, realizing things don't last forever, these women have decided to use the time available to their best advantage? Perhaps they are seeking out heterosexuals or something?

/just asking the question.
 
2012-07-01 09:39:25 AM  
Is that when the picture of Brad Pitt he tapes to their back start to irritate the skin?
 
2012-07-01 09:39:33 AM  
It's a coincidence. Each of his three marriages have ended for different reasons and all lasted different amounts of time.
 
2012-07-01 09:56:17 AM  
I'm looking forward to the Cruise/Travolta nuptials.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-07-01 10:05:15 AM  
He dumped them when they got old enough to start losing their looks. Almost like a straight man would.
 
2012-07-01 10:10:55 AM  

ZAZ: He dumped them when they got old enough to start losing their looks. Almost like a straight man would.


I would kill any of you if it meant a night with to disappoint Mimi Rogers.

/FTFM
 
2012-07-01 10:44:33 AM  

ToxicMunkee: It's a coincidence. Each of his three marriages have ended for different reasons and all lasted different amounts of time.


Each wife was 11 years younger than the one previous. Mimi Roger was born in 1956, Nicole Kidman in 1967, Katie Holmes in 1978. Which means, if he's on the prowl for "wife" #4, she was born in 1989.
 
2012-07-01 10:54:14 AM  
FTFA: Perez Hilton dug deep into Scientology to find out what, if any importance there is to the number 33. Turns out, the first Church of Scientology was established in Phoenix, Arizona, which lies on the 33rd parallel...In numerology, the number 33 is for the 'master teacher' represented by the Archangel Michael.

Well, if noted religious studies scholar Perez Hilton is on the case, then I'm sure we'll get the best and most contextual interpretaton of the phenomenon., In fact, I'm sure its all about the Archangel Michael's fellatial relationship with the body thetans of L.Ron Hubbard and the Fourth Invasion Force.
 
2012-07-01 10:59:37 AM  
33-year itch?

Dude, "7-year-itch" is not about 7 year-olds, you sick fark.
 
2012-07-01 11:29:27 AM  
3+3=6
6>3
666
 
2012-07-01 11:51:53 AM  
Beards can begin to look a little scruffy at that age
 
2012-07-01 12:02:36 PM  

edmo: There a lot of conflicting numbers out there about when sex lives "peak" but generally it's agreed that by early 30s, it's trend downhill for women.


No it's not
 
2012-07-01 01:12:03 PM  

oldernell: I'm looking forward to the Cruise/Travolta nuptials.


close the thread.
We have our winner.
 
2012-07-01 01:18:18 PM  

Mugato: Is that when the picture of Brad Pitt he tapes to their back start to irritate the skin?


Hahahha
 
2012-07-01 01:47:18 PM  
Mid-30s women = old enough to know what they want and not be ashamed, young enough to still enjoy it.
 
2012-07-01 01:52:17 PM  
His wives were all born 11 years apart, too. Rogers in 1956, Kidman in 1967, Holmes in 1978.
 
2012-07-01 01:54:50 PM  
There's something darn right unholy about the whole thing.
 
2012-07-01 01:54:54 PM  
Tommy my boy, you must get your next wife to OTVII before she reaches 33. Otherwise the Thetans have won and Xenu will continue to rule the galaxy.
 
2012-07-01 01:56:50 PM  
Well, Mimi Rogers was the one who introduced him to Scientology, so I doubt she left him because of it. She's Scientology royalty.
 
2012-07-01 02:01:08 PM  

ZAZ: He dumped them when they got old enough to start losing their looks. Almost like a straight man would.


he did not dump any of them, they dumped him.
 
2012-07-01 02:02:18 PM  

chuckufarlie: ZAZ: He dumped them when they got old enough to start losing their looks. Almost like a straight man would.

he did not dump any of them, they dumped him.


THIS
 
2012-07-01 02:04:17 PM  
No matter how much money you are promised for hanging around, no matter how glamorous the lifestyle, at some point anybody is gong to realize that they mad a really bad bargain.

How long can anybody keep up the big lies just to support this jackass's facade?

Or maybe women just become self aware at 33.
 
2012-07-01 02:10:12 PM  

Somacandra: FTFA: Perez Hilton dug deep into Scientology to find out what, if any importance there is to the number 33. Turns out, the first Church of Scientology was established in Phoenix, Arizona, which lies on the 33rd parallel...In numerology, the number 33 is for the 'master teacher' represented by the Archangel Michael.

Well, if noted religious studies scholar Perez Hilton is on the case, then I'm sure we'll get the best and most contextual interpretaton of the phenomenon., In fact, I'm sure its all about the Archangel Michael's fellatial relationship with the body thetans of L.Ron Hubbard and the Fourth Invasion Force.


www.elle.co.za
I love noted religious studies scholar Perez Hilton, and I love the '33' position. Tom Cruise is in my heart and soul. Love.
 
2012-07-01 02:11:55 PM  
I'm seeing an epic meltdown in Tom Cruise's future. His star power is already not what it once was, and it continues to wane. Once it's gone the "Church" of Scientology won't give a damn about him, and where will he find himself then? I wouldn't be surprised if it ended in suicide.
 
2012-07-01 02:12:24 PM  

missiv: I love noted religious studies scholar Perez Hilton, and I love the '33' position. Tom Cruise is in my heart and soul. Love.


One of my major beefs with Quentin Tarantino is that he brought Travolta's career back from the dead. That movie should have been the highlight of his cinematic decline.
 
2012-07-01 02:23:06 PM  
Copypasta:

"

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory

"


I like this theory.
 
2012-07-01 02:28:51 PM  

malaktaus: I'm seeing an epic meltdown in Tom Cruise's future. His star power is already not what it once was, and it continues to wane. Once it's gone the "Church" of Scientology won't give a damn about him, and where will he find himself then? I wouldn't be surprised if it ended in suicide.


spending his millions and not giving a fark if people know that he is gay??
 
2012-07-01 02:32:40 PM  
Coco LaFemme: Each wife was 11 years younger than the one previous. Mimi Roger was born in 1956, Nicole Kidman in 1967, Katie Holmes in 1978. Which means, if he's on the prowl for "wife" #4, she was born in 1989.

Well then I guess Hayden Panettiere should get ready.
 
2012-07-01 02:33:28 PM  
Man, Nicole Kidman was hot back when she had facial expressions.
 
2012-07-01 02:34:00 PM  

malaktaus: I'm seeing an epic meltdown in Tom Cruise's future. His star power is already not what it once was, and it continues to wane. Once it's gone the "Church" of Scientology won't give a damn about him, and where will he find himself then? I wouldn't be surprised if it ended in suicide.


TBH Cruise (if he is gay) could come out now. He's not doing many "guy gets the girl" movies now like Top Gun or Jerry Maguire.
 
2012-07-01 02:36:51 PM  
There is a belief in the church of Scientology that marital problems come from 'withholds' or 'overts' - undiscussed issues or problems.

i512.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-01 02:38:05 PM  

farkeruk: malaktaus: I'm seeing an epic meltdown in Tom Cruise's future. His star power is already not what it once was, and it continues to wane. Once it's gone the "Church" of Scientology won't give a damn about him, and where will he find himself then? I wouldn't be surprised if it ended in suicide.

TBH Cruise (if he is gay) could come out now. He's not doing many "guy gets the girl" movies now like Top Gun or Jerry Maguire.


I don't think that's the reason he stays in the closet. I think he stays there because he's deeply uncomfortable with who he is, and for many years now his "church" has enabled his mental illnesses and emotional problems.
 
2012-07-01 02:40:23 PM  
Is anyone else kind of creeped out by Suri's thousand yard stare in that photo in the article?
 
2012-07-01 02:53:55 PM  
Wow! 33 comments.
 
2012-07-01 02:55:09 PM  
Just as I opened the Fark entertaiment links page...

i5.photobucket.com

/Creepy like Xenu!
 
2012-07-01 03:13:46 PM  

malaktaus: farkeruk: malaktaus: I'm seeing an epic meltdown in Tom Cruise's future. His star power is already not what it once was, and it continues to wane. Once it's gone the "Church" of Scientology won't give a damn about him, and where will he find himself then? I wouldn't be surprised if it ended in suicide.

TBH Cruise (if he is gay) could come out now. He's not doing many "guy gets the girl" movies now like Top Gun or Jerry Maguire.

I don't think that's the reason he stays in the closet. I think he stays there because he's deeply uncomfortable with who he is, and for many years now his "church" has enabled his mental illnesses and emotional problems.


Homosexuality is frowned upon by the Church of Scientology. That's all there is to it. He's one of their biggest celebrity faces, and he CAN'T be gay because it goes against the tenets of his religion.

Same for Travolta.
 
2012-07-01 03:19:34 PM  

carmody: His wives were all born 11 years apart, too. Rogers in 1956, Kidman in 1967, Holmes in 1978.


Notice how they all start to get manlier? Rogers was voluptuous, all woman. Kidman was beautiful, but a bit of a tomboy. And Holmes just looks like a guy with mild retardation.
 
2012-07-01 03:32:45 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: carmody: His wives were all born 11 years apart, too. Rogers in 1956, Kidman in 1967, Holmes in 1978.

Notice how they all start to get manlier? Rogers was voluptuous, all woman. Kidman was beautiful, but a bit of a tomboy. And Holmes just looks like a guy with mild retardation.


Each woman is progressively less curvacious than the wife prior. I predict the next Mrs. Tom Cruise is going to be Haley Joe Osment.
 
2012-07-01 03:32:53 PM  

ZeroCorpse: That's all there is to it.


I don't agree. This is a guy who seriously considered becoming a Catholic priest, and you have to wonder what would motivate someone to go to Catholic seminary in the late 1970s. Intense guilt over their sexuality, in many cases. If anything I think the CoS's attitude toward homosexuality was probably a major selling point for him, because it was so close to the opinion he already held and it offered hope that he could move past his "problem." Take away the CoS from his life and little would change, except that he would no longer have his old coping mechanisms or rationalizations.
 
2012-07-01 03:41:19 PM  

Coco LaFemme: ToxicMunkee: It's a coincidence. Each of his three marriages have ended for different reasons and all lasted different amounts of time.

Each wife was 11 years younger than the one previous. Mimi Roger was born in 1956, Nicole Kidman in 1967, Katie Holmes in 1978. Which means, if he's on the prowl for "wife" #4, she was born in 1989.


And each of his wives were born in the Untied States.... I'm sensing a pattern here.
 
2012-07-01 03:41:19 PM  
Is there some homosexual signifigance regarding 33? I know 96'ing is when two fat guys fart in eachothers mouths.
 
2012-07-01 03:57:24 PM  

JoePiscopoJr.: Is there some homosexual signifigance regarding 33? I know 96'ing is when two fat guys fart in eachothers mouths.


Jesus was crucified at 33.

/just saying
 
2012-07-01 03:57:39 PM  

JoePiscopoJr.: Is there some homosexual signifigance regarding 33? I know 96'ing is when two fat guys fart in eachothers mouths.


Mis-read that as "two frat guys" and it made me laugh.

The actual wording is not quite as funny but I stand by my Funny! vote nonetheless.
 
2012-07-01 04:01:57 PM  

borg: Coco LaFemme: ToxicMunkee: It's a coincidence. Each of his three marriages have ended for different reasons and all lasted different amounts of time.

Each wife was 11 years younger than the one previous. Mimi Roger was born in 1956, Nicole Kidman in 1967, Katie Holmes in 1978. Which means, if he's on the prowl for "wife" #4, she was born in 1989.

And each of his wives were born in the Untied States.... I'm sensing a pattern here.


Are you sure? Have you ever seen Kidman's long form birth certificate?
 
2012-07-01 04:02:16 PM  
He probably just used the same contract for all of them and it says that they don't have to stay with him anymore when they're 33 or older, giving them a chance to still have a kid with someone else.
 
2012-07-01 04:13:24 PM  
Anyone want to post the pics comparing Tom and the girl from Top Gun? Something spooky going on there.
 
2012-07-01 04:14:06 PM  

The Voice of Doom: one else.


Dammit, I scrolled all the way to the end and was about to post this exact comment. He just keeps whiting out the name of "Party B" and writing in a new name.

/in blood
 
2012-07-01 04:14:08 PM  

Ringshadow: Is anyone else kind of creeped out by Suri's thousand yard stare in that photo in the article?


yup
and her cheeks look sunken
 
2012-07-01 04:16:04 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: carmody: His wives were all born 11 years apart, too. Rogers in 1956, Kidman in 1967, Holmes in 1978.

Notice how they all start to get manlier? Rogers was voluptuous, all woman. Kidman was beautiful, but a bit of a tomboy. And Holmes just looks like a guy with mild retardation.


you spend a few years farking tom in the ass and see what you start to look like ...
 
2012-07-01 04:19:06 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: carmody: His wives were all born 11 years apart, too. Rogers in 1956, Kidman in 1967, Holmes in 1978.

Notice how they all start to get manlier? Rogers was voluptuous, all woman. Kidman was beautiful, but a bit of a tomboy. And Holmes just looks like a guy with mild retardation.


scientology was created on a bet with heinlein on how best to make money with a con, religion or psychology. scientology won by going with, TADA, both.
One of the central tenants of most religions/cults is all the other cults are EVIL. Therefore all of modern psychology and psychiatry are the EVIL!!!
 
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