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(YouTube) Video How to correctly make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Blame your mom, because you've been doing it wrong   (youtube.com) divider line 100
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6188 clicks; posted to Video » on 01 Jul 2012 at 2:31 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-07-01 12:59:05 PM  
I was with her up until she PUT FARKING SRIRACHA AND BASIL ON A PB&J!!!!

WTF???
 
2012-07-01 01:06:16 PM  
How can there be a correct way to ruin a peanut butter sandwich with jelly?
 
2012-07-01 01:36:27 PM  
Wow, she looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.
 
2012-07-01 01:53:31 PM  
Yet another "foodie" turning a simple comfort food into a hipster nightmare.
 
2012-07-01 01:56:05 PM  
The only things the retard in the video got right were getting a good, all natural peanut butter and the grilling. Other than that, she needs to be punched in the snout for using marmalade, Sriracha and basil on a PB&J.

Plain ol' white Wonder Bread is the best bread for a classic PB&J. If you're using some other bread, you might as well sit out in the yard and eat dog shiat.

And if you have a jar of Goober Grape, you don't need bread. You just need a spoon.
 
2012-07-01 02:40:46 PM  
Also, I guess leaning into the camera while talking is the right way to make a video. I've been doing that wrong too.
 
2012-07-01 02:42:17 PM  
Peanut butter and honey is way better. Also just a pinch of salt on the honey before toasting it really sets it off.
 
2012-07-01 02:44:47 PM  
FFS, it's PB&J. Is a food not food unless it costs your $50 a meal or something?

Opps, got to go. I need to put some Foie Gras on my burger before it gets cold.
 
2012-07-01 02:45:03 PM  
To be fair, it was hard for your mom to concentrate on making the sandwich while I was boning her.
 
2012-07-01 02:48:48 PM  
She admits early on that its a matter of taste, and then she follows it with a bunch of preachy garbage.

I prefer a heavy wheat bread with mine, and more peanut flavor to jelly. /shrug

PacManDreaming: Plain ol' white Wonder Bread is the best bread for a classic PB&J. If you're using some other bread, you might as well sit out in the yard and eat dog shiat.


You said that completely backwards :D
 
2012-07-01 02:59:37 PM  
Fark you, foodie. Kraft peanut butter and a good all-fruit jam on a decent white bread like Wonder or Dempsters. That is all. Shiat you can pick up even at your local variety store. None of this challah crap, and absolutely farking no basil and sriracha and marmalade. That's just seven levels of wrong.
 
2012-07-01 02:59:46 PM  
Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...
 
2012-07-01 03:02:25 PM  
I thought the curry/basil/sriracha sandwich she made sounds awesome, so I'm not gonna be a hater.

/pbutt, crispy bacon, and sharp cheddar ftw.
 
2012-07-01 03:03:53 PM  
Also, she's right that hydrogenated peanut butter tastes like crap.
 
2012-07-01 03:09:23 PM  
Videos like these warm my heart, knowing that people can waste their time over such trivial bullshiat. Now if you'll excuse me I must return to the geek tab, someone is besmirching linux again.
 
2012-07-01 03:15:37 PM  

TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...


TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...


Nobody calls it rooster sauce except those who can't pronounce sriracha if you can't learn to say sriracha just say chili sauce. Those Asian ladies you're trying to impress think you're a dumbass.
 
2012-07-01 03:18:36 PM  
My mother made brazillions of those sandwiches for me and taught me one important thing.

Spread the jelly on the peanut butter not the slice of bread so it doesn't soak into the bread by lunchtime.
 
2012-07-01 03:19:31 PM  

Beerguy: I was with her up until she PUT FARKING SRIRACHA AND BASIL ON A PB&J!!!!

WTF???


/Im right there with you. fark you biatch, ill make my pb and J the way it want.. lots of cheap oily peanut butter and smothered with cheap jam and a healthy dose of butter too, on white bread.
 
2012-07-01 03:21:15 PM  
That was

a) three minutes too long
b) a crummy commercial
c) void of anything resembling content
d) all of the above
 
2012-07-01 03:35:33 PM  
Fark no I'm not doing it wrong. Sometimes I just want a simple ass pb&j loaded with crunchy Jif and Welch's grape. You are doing it wrong if you can't appreciate what is great about the cheap, simple, and delicious pb&j.
 
2012-07-01 03:38:32 PM  
I only had jelly sandwiches as a kid.
I never saw much of Mom, the peanut butter, or the dog, for that matter.
 
2012-07-01 03:41:52 PM  
dont do anything they said except equal pb and j. Then grill it. the melty pb makes it taste better, still cheap.
 
2012-07-01 03:42:48 PM  

Beerguy: I was with her up until she PUT FARKING SRIRACHA AND BASIL ON A PB&J!!!!

WTF???


The worst part of that is the implication that proper pad thai has PB in it.
Pad thai has a lot of things but those aren't them.
Oil, eggs, fish sauce, sugar, paprika, green onions (garnish), peanuts (garnish), chicekn/beef stock/bullion, white vinegar, crushed red peppers and bean sprouts are all part of the sauce of toppings.
Peanut butter has no place near a proper recipe.
 
2012-07-01 03:43:26 PM  
I wish her luck on not hating her parents for mixing up such an unthinkable person
 
2012-07-01 03:45:57 PM  

spin359: dont do anything they said except equal pb and j. Then grill it. the melty pb makes it taste better, still cheap.


I think it's easier and quicker to toast the bread and then spread the PB and J on the toasted bread. All the spread gets gooey and melty and it's warm and tasty when you eat it. Grilling like that was just a way to add calories, fat and an odd taste to a sandwich.
 
2012-07-01 03:51:05 PM  
Dip it in French toast batter and grill it - pure awesomeness.
 
2012-07-01 03:54:39 PM  
The entire farking point of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is that it costs next to nothing, and it can sit in your backpack all day with no refrigeration.

This biatch got it ten kinds of wrong. If your PB&J costs you more than fifty cents and 30 seconds to make, you have failed miserably.
 
2012-07-01 03:56:24 PM  

Smackledorfer: You said that completely backwards :D


My dog just stopped by to drop off a load of Chocolate Logs for you.

The only other marginally acceptable breads to use is potato or egg bread. But, then it has to be grilled.

someonelse: pbutt, crispy bacon, and sharp cheddar ftw.


Peanut butter and crispy bacon is good. My grandad used to eat PB and ketchup. I might've tried when I was little, I could never bring myself to eat that, now.

someonelse: Also, she's right that hydrogenated peanut butter tastes like crap.


I didn't mind it so much when I was a kid, but now the flavor of hydrogenated oil peanut butter just stands out too much for me. I really like the Smucker's all natural peanut butter, nowadays.

Does anyone else miss Koogle? Used to love the banana flavor when I was little.
 
2012-07-01 03:58:45 PM  

LeroyBourne: Peanut butter and honey is way better.


When I was in pre-K, the only thing in the cafeteria they could get me to eat was PB and honey on a hamburger bun.
 
2012-07-01 04:02:11 PM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: spin359: dont do anything they said except equal pb and j. Then grill it. the melty pb makes it taste better, still cheap.

I think it's easier and quicker to toast the bread and then spread the PB and J on the toasted bread. All the spread gets gooey and melty and it's warm and tasty when you eat it. Grilling like that was just a way to add calories, fat and an odd taste to a sandwich.


I second toasting the bread first.

Upset she didn't mention putting the peanut butter on both pieces of bread, it prevents the jelly from making the bread soggy.
 
2012-07-01 04:10:13 PM  

Lt_Ryan: Uchiha_Cycliste: spin359: dont do anything they said except equal pb and j. Then grill it. the melty pb makes it taste better, still cheap.

I think it's easier and quicker to toast the bread and then spread the PB and J on the toasted bread. All the spread gets gooey and melty and it's warm and tasty when you eat it. Grilling like that was just a way to add calories, fat and an odd taste to a sandwich.

I second toasting the bread first.

Upset she didn't mention putting the peanut butter on both pieces of bread, it prevents the jelly from making the bread soggy.


Crazy lady puts cock sauce on her sandwich and paints it with butter before eating it... she doesn't know what the hell she is doing.
 
2012-07-01 04:13:38 PM  
biatch needs a smackin
 
2012-07-01 04:19:36 PM  

PacManDreaming: Plain ol' white Wonder Bread is the best bread


LOL, no. Wonder Paste isn't good for anything.
 
2012-07-01 04:22:46 PM  
And even if I considered putting sriracha on my PB&J (only at gunpoint, I suppose), that was way too much.
 
2012-07-01 04:29:07 PM  
so, use more expensive shiat. got it. thanks for the tip, twat.
 
2012-07-01 04:30:58 PM  

PacManDreaming: Smackledorfer: You said that completely backwards :D

My dog just stopped by to drop off a load of Chocolate Logs for you.

The only other marginally acceptable breads to use is potato or egg bread. But, then it has to be grilled.

someonelse: pbutt, crispy bacon, and sharp cheddar ftw.

Peanut butter and crispy bacon is good. My grandad used to eat PB and ketchup. I might've tried when I was little, I could never bring myself to eat that, now.

someonelse: Also, she's right that hydrogenated peanut butter tastes like crap.

I didn't mind it so much when I was a kid, but now the flavor of hydrogenated oil peanut butter just stands out too much for me. I really like the Smucker's all natural peanut butter, nowadays.

Does anyone else miss Koogle? Used to love the banana flavor when I was little.


I used to beg my mom to get koogle when I was a kid. That, and the peanut butter with stripes of jelly in it.
 
2012-07-01 04:43:53 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: LOL, no. Wonder Paste isn't good for anything.


Nope, PB&J is the only thing Wonder Bread is good for. Other than that, I only eat whole wheat if, and when, I buy bread(I only buy sandwich bread once or twice a year).

someonelse: I used to beg my mom to get koogle when I was a kid. That, and the peanut butter with stripes of jelly in it.


My mom would buy Koogle, but she would never buy any Goober Grape. The only time I ever had it when I was a kid was when I went to my aunt and uncle's house.

CSB: When I finally was out on my own, on my very first trip to the grocery store, I was walking down the peanut butter aisle and I saw the jars of Goober Grape. It was like something magical happened. I realized that I could buy as many jars of it as I wanted and there was no one to tell me not to.

Nowadays, I get maybe a jar a year, just for old time's sake.
 
2012-07-01 04:50:51 PM  
Challa bread? No thanks. A good potato bread is nice. Why the Kosher push on internet cooking videos all of a sudden?
 
2012-07-01 05:08:32 PM  
Remember to add sriracha, and don't forget to grill it in melted butter. Otherwise you are doing it wrong.

Choke and die, subby.
 
2012-07-01 05:13:53 PM  
A very thin spread of jelly for that hint of flavor here. That and a half-inch of peanut butter. Two glasses of milk to get it down.
 
2012-07-01 05:18:34 PM  
Peanut butter on both pieced of bread, spoon jelly in the middle of one side, put together and squish. eat drink a glass of milk smoke a joint repeat. Everything else is wrong.
 
2012-07-01 05:30:28 PM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: Beerguy: I was with her up until she PUT FARKING SRIRACHA AND BASIL ON A PB&J!!!!

WTF???

The worst part of that is the implication that proper pad thai has PB in it.
Pad thai has a lot of things but those aren't them.
Oil, eggs, fish sauce, sugar, paprika, green onions (garnish), peanuts (garnish), chicekn/beef stock/bullion, white vinegar, crushed red peppers and bean sprouts are all part of the sauce of toppings.
Peanut butter has no place near a proper recipe.


Real peanut butter is only peanuts. It's also the peanut butter the video recommends. Finally she is saying a pad Thai flavored pbj, not recommending pad Thai be made with peanut butter.

It's going to be ok.
 
2012-07-01 05:52:24 PM  
I feel like a jerk saying this, but I found her voice really annoying after awhile. It's like she was trying to see how low she could go, but it didn't sound good at all. And it also had that nasal, almost sarcastic-sounding twist that I find grating.

When I used to train DJs, I told them to tape themselves, wait awhile (a day or two, at least), then listen to themselves, consciously considering what they sound like. That's really the only way to get better at it, I think, and I think it's good advice for everyone. I can't suggest that for everyone, because it would be inconvenient for many people, and probably doesn't matter for them much. But if you're doing things like instructionals, I think it's a good idea.
 
2012-07-01 05:54:56 PM  

someonelse: Also, she's right that hydrogenated peanut butter tastes like crap.


Agreed, it does. You don't notice it until you try better stuff, but then you always notice after that.
 
2012-07-01 05:58:45 PM  
Nobody does it better than Bill Belichick.
 
2012-07-01 05:58:56 PM  
I thought the whole idea of PBJ was to make it with wonder bread and cheap ingredients. It's low-brow food made to stuff into kids faces, not cuisine.
 
2012-07-01 05:59:27 PM  

Phoenix_M: TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...

TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...

Nobody calls it rooster sauce except those who can't pronounce sriracha if you can't learn to say sriracha just say chili sauce. Those Asian ladies you're trying to impress think you're a dumbass.


Are you seriously getting your panties in a twist over this?
 
2012-07-01 06:01:37 PM  

proteon: That was

a) three minutes too long
b) a crummy commercial
c) void of anything resembling content
d) all of the above


And you've made the world a better place by telling us. Thank you.
 
2012-07-01 06:05:04 PM  

buntz: I wish her luck on not hating her parents for mixing up such an unthinkable person


ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2012-07-01 06:17:12 PM  
JIF Extra-Crunchy
Welch's Grape Jelly
plain old WHITE bread.
DONE.

Grill a PB&J?? You've got too much time on your hands.

Can you picture a poor 6th grader pulling that spiced up and buttered thing out of his brown paper bag for lunch??
 
2012-07-01 06:25:36 PM  

ShawnDoc: Wow, she looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.


I thought she looked like Jennifer Petkov.

pysih.com
 
2012-07-01 06:26:07 PM  
i don't want any food to be uniform and every bite taste the same. a slapped together sandwich is always better.
 
2012-07-01 06:52:34 PM  

Smackledorfer: Uchiha_Cycliste: Beerguy: I was with her up until she PUT FARKING SRIRACHA AND BASIL ON A PB&J!!!!

WTF???

The worst part of that is the implication that proper pad thai has PB in it.
Pad thai has a lot of things but those aren't them.
Oil, eggs, fish sauce, sugar, paprika, green onions (garnish), peanuts (garnish), chicekn/beef stock/bullion, white vinegar, crushed red peppers and bean sprouts are all part of the sauce of toppings.
Peanut butter has no place near a proper recipe.

Real peanut butter is only peanuts. It's also the peanut butter the video recommends. Finally she is saying a pad Thai flavored pbj, not recommending pad Thai be made with peanut butter.

It's going to be ok.


I can't be sure. I've been to at least one cheap crappy thai place (south side asian food ghetto at Cal) where I am certain they were using Jiff for some of their dishes. A) you could taste it and B) they had a pallet of jiff spread. This woman, she's not quite right already. I felt it was my duty to let the good people at Fark (here) that jiffy has no place in pad thai. so I've done so, be well. =D
 
2012-07-01 07:01:09 PM  

Phoenix_M: TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...

TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...

Nobody calls it rooster sauce except those who can't pronounce sriracha if you can't learn to say sriracha just say chili sauce. Those Asian ladies you're trying to impress think you're a dumbass.


No when you're around your guy friends you call ask them if they want "cock sauce" and then you hold it in front of your crotch to put it on whatever they said yes to.
 
2012-07-01 07:02:45 PM  
Rooster sauce????? Thats no longer a PBJ.
 
2012-07-01 07:09:03 PM  
I like PBandJ as PB and J without mixing - one piece of bread with PB and one with J where you can take alternating bites.

High quality PB and J is important. The 100% fruit or "no sugar added" J is expensive marketing crap that is "superior" by adding Fructose in the form of concentrated grape juice. Fructose is too sweet and can make your teeth hurt.

J made with cane sugar is superior.
 
2012-07-01 07:14:10 PM  

sexy-fetus: Phoenix_M: TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...

TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...

Nobody calls it rooster sauce except those who can't pronounce sriracha if you can't learn to say sriracha just say chili sauce. Those Asian ladies you're trying to impress think you're a dumbass.

No when you're around your guy friends you call ask them if they want "cock sauce" and then you hold it in front of your crotch to put it on whatever they said yes to.


There's an endless supply of morans on Fark, isn't there?
 
2012-07-01 07:18:36 PM  
Piss off, hippie foodie fembot... a jar of JIF, a 70-cent loaf of white bread and a jar of Smuckers makes a perfectly good PB&J sammich, and has for decades. Take your pricey organics & bread nobody's heard of & go back to your trendy metropolitan kitchen.
 
2012-07-01 07:19:50 PM  
Do everything she says, except leave out the bread. The bread is just sugar and carbs and will kill you.
 
2012-07-01 07:20:35 PM  
I do appreciate that they got the right order of things in the video. I would eat the chocolate cake first. I thought the glass of milk looked yummy.

Is it possible that the whole thing was a high-brow farce? I started laughing when it went asian fusion. Really, it should just be cheap bread, cheap peanut butter and cheap jelly.

re: wonderbread--my father always said 'itsa wonder that they call it bread'.
 
2012-07-01 07:20:48 PM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: Smackledorfer: Uchiha_Cycliste: Beerguy: I was with her up until she PUT FARKING SRIRACHA AND BASIL ON A PB&J!!!!

WTF???

The worst part of that is the implication that proper pad thai has PB in it.
Pad thai has a lot of things but those aren't them.
Oil, eggs, fish sauce, sugar, paprika, green onions (garnish), peanuts (garnish), chicekn/beef stock/bullion, white vinegar, crushed red peppers and bean sprouts are all part of the sauce of toppings.
Peanut butter has no place near a proper recipe.

Real peanut butter is only peanuts. It's also the peanut butter the video recommends. Finally she is saying a pad Thai flavored pbj, not recommending pad Thai be made with peanut butter.

It's going to be ok.

I can't be sure. I've been to at least one cheap crappy thai place (south side asian food ghetto at Cal) where I am certain they were using Jiff for some of their dishes. A) you could taste it and B) they had a pallet of jiff spread. This woman, she's not quite right already. I felt it was my duty to let the good people at Fark (here) that jiffy has no place in pad thai. so I've done so, be well. =D


Ah, I misunderstood your post. Keep fighting the good fight.
 
2012-07-01 07:22:09 PM  

Umfufu: JIF Extra-Crunchy
Welch's Grape Jelly
plain old WHITE bread.
DONE.

Grill a PB&J?? You've got too much time on your hands.

Can you picture a poor 6th grader pulling that spiced up and buttered thing out of his brown paper bag for lunch??


WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!!!
 
2012-07-01 07:26:29 PM  
I start with a thin spread of good margarine on both sides before I add the PB and the J. Sounds weird, I know. But I like it. Got that from my mom, who did it on my school lunches as a kid so the jelly wouldn't soak into the bread by the time lunch rolled around. The margarine was a bread-barrier.

/first time my girlfriend saw me do this, she recoiled in horror
 
2012-07-01 07:36:45 PM  

proteon: That was

a) three minutes too long
b) a crummy commercial
c) void of anything resembling content
d) all of the above


What I was hoping someone else was thinking and then post to save me the time. What a hot bag of air that lady was.

/PB&J superfan
 
2012-07-01 07:42:31 PM  

HairBolus: I like PBandJ as PB and J without mixing - one piece of bread with PB and one with J where you can take alternating bites.

High quality PB and J is important. The 100% fruit or "no sugar added" J is expensive marketing crap that is "superior" by adding Fructose in the form of concentrated grape juice. Fructose is too sweet and can make your teeth hurt.

J made with cane sugar is superior.


As I believe I understand it, you don't actually need any sugar at all to make jelly. Or pectin. It's just harder and takes longer, and you lose a lot of juice volume. And it comes out tasting like highly concentrated fruit juice, which won't appeal to everyone. As a commercial product, it would be really expensive, and unjustifiably unpopular.

I just made some jelly yesterday (red raspberry), and from reading about all the different ways to do it, it appears to me that what's going on is that the fruit juice you start with is very watery. If you reduce it slowly over heat, it will gel on its own, from natural pectins already in it, but only after you've cooked off enough of the free water, which is a lot of it. So you end up with much less.

Adding sugar and heating binds the free water, creating simple sugar, and the rest of it ends up mixed in colloidally. You then add pectin, because there's not enough to do the job for that greater volume, and because (I think, I'm not sure) it's not adequately released in this shorter process. This is desirable because for most produce you'd use for jelly, sugar and pectin are cheaper, so this way you get more jelly in the end. It also has a much mellower taste, because the total amount of juice flavour components to total volume is much lower.

Someone please correct me if I'm wrong about this. I'm inferring more than a little of it from various recipes, and from some slightly related cooking stuff I'm more familiar with.
 
2012-07-01 07:44:30 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: I start with a thin spread of good margarine on both sides before I add the PB and the J. Sounds weird, I know. But I like it. Got that from my mom, who did it on my school lunches as a kid so the jelly wouldn't soak into the bread by the time lunch rolled around. The margarine was a bread-barrier.

/first time my girlfriend saw me do this, she recoiled in horror


That's how I was brought up, too, but we always did it just for the extra flavour.
 
2012-07-01 07:47:55 PM  
 
2012-07-01 08:21:57 PM  

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: HairBolus: I like PBandJ as PB and J without mixing - one piece of bread with PB and one with J where you can take alternating bites.

High quality PB and J is important. The 100% fruit or "no sugar added" J is expensive marketing crap that is "superior" by adding Fructose in the form of concentrated grape juice. Fructose is too sweet and can make your teeth hurt.

J made with cane sugar is superior.


As I believe I understand it, you don't actually need any sugar at all to make jelly. Or pectin. It's just harder and takes longer, and you lose a lot of juice volume. And it comes out tasting like highly concentrated fruit juice ...


You need pectin because that is what makes the jelly jell. It is naturally present in fruit but sometimes there is not enough (such as strawberries) that you need to add some (which can be done "naturally" by say cooking down strawberries with apple peel).

Years back I tried to make some jelly from pineapple guavas (Feijoas). I combined lots of information I found about jelly in general including tests to see if I had cooked it down far enough. I had to cook it a long time before it passed the tests. Once it cooled it was no longer liquid and resembled hard candy more than it did jelly.

So no. Cooking down is not the same as jelling.
 
2012-07-01 08:26:54 PM  
Buy better ingredients.

Got it.

Thanks.
 
2012-07-01 08:52:19 PM  
Is it just my hearing or is everybody saying "samwich" instead of "sandwich" these days?

/pet peeve
//"sammich" is ok because it's obvious you're mispronouncing
///love the slashies
 
2012-07-01 08:57:28 PM  
Step 1: Use quality ingredients.
Step 2: Try and put the same quantity of PB as J.
Step 3: Eat.

Huh, I guess after you remove all the pretentious bullshiat, I have been making PB&J correctly. And if you add anything else, it may be delicious, but it's not PB&J anymore...
 
2012-07-01 09:06:46 PM  

PacManDreaming: Prank Call of Cthulhu: LOL, no. Wonder Paste isn't good for anything.

Nope, PB&J is the only thing Wonder Bread is good for.


No...just, no. If you are bound and determined to use "bread" that comes out of a plastic bag with a little plastic tie keeping it closed, Schmidt's Italian White is acceptable. But not Wonder Paste. Anything that turns to doughy paste when a moderate amount of pressure is applied to it isn't bread.
 
2012-07-01 09:49:42 PM  
Don't tell me what the fark I want in a sandwich.
 
2012-07-01 10:44:16 PM  
God, if I wanted high maintenance, I'd get a girlfriend.

PB&J is meant to be simple. And delicious.
 
2012-07-01 11:08:00 PM  

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: 100 Watt Walrus: I start with a thin spread of good margarine on both sides before I add the PB and the J. Sounds weird, I know. But I like it. Got that from my mom, who did it on my school lunches as a kid so the jelly wouldn't soak into the bread by the time lunch rolled around. The margarine was a bread-barrier.

/first time my girlfriend saw me do this, she recoiled in horror

That's how I was brought up, too, but we always did it just for the extra flavour.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-07-01 11:18:36 PM  

starlost: i don't want any food to be uniform and every bite taste the same. a slapped together sandwich is always better.


We're opposites. Food should be exactly the same from bite to bite. What if the last bite isn't the best one? You'd be thinking "gosh, I wish I had quit when I had that more awesome bite."

The key to a perfect PB&J is the spread. You need to get the PB exactly level on one slice of bread and the J exactly level on the other so that each bite has the same ratio of bread/PB/J, thus ensuring taste consistency throughout the entire meal. I cannot emphasize this enough, people. Uneven thicknesses of spreads will ruin a good PB&J.

I'm 50/50 about the toast-first thing. I think it tastes pretty good, and it helps soften the peanut butter- which makes it easier to make a perfect spread. But if I forget to do it, no big deal.
 
2012-07-01 11:18:47 PM  
How to make pretentious food?

This will probably show up at Panera any day now...
 
2012-07-02 12:08:52 AM  
Good crusty white bread, buttered.
Real peanut butter, crunchy.
Seedless raspberry jam, just fruit.
 
2012-07-02 12:40:25 AM  
I literally just had half of one for a snack.

It has to be on toasted wheat, oat or 7 grain bread. I use the fresh ground stuff from my health food store's machine, it's peanuts, that all, just peanuts. If I can't get that, smucker's natural PB is great too. Usually strawberry jam, sometimes peach or honey.

I must eat a couple per week, mostly for breakfast. I will probably eat that shiat up until the day I die.
 
2012-07-02 01:09:57 AM  
i like me some fancy pb&j sandwiches.

bread - i get the crusty white from my local bakery, fresh baked. wonder bread tastes like styofroam compared to this

pb - not a huge fan of the ground peanuts only stuff, it gets oily really fast and doesnt keep well, but definitely prefer the 'all natural' types they have at the store. i'll go with some jif too that stuff is ok.

jam - prefer jam over jelly. marmalade is great too. i used to like that generic sugary jelly stuff when i was five, tho.

prep - lightly butter and grill the bread first, sprinkle garlic salt on it to give it some savory kick. or an aioli sauce also is good. sounds crazy but they blend very well with the sweetness of the other ingredients.

the difference in cost of ingredients is really pretty minimal, maybe an extra buck or so per sandwich. actually it would cost more for me to get wonderbread cuz i'd have to take the bus and waste an hour of my day to get to a store that has it.
 
2012-07-02 01:25:05 AM  
fark off you damned foodie bastards.
 
2012-07-02 01:47:54 AM  
No no no no no! Only one way to make peanut butter dammit!!!

1. Goober

media.nowpublic.net

mrgreatlakes.files.wordpress.com

2. Sunbeam Bread

www.schoolspiritprograms.com

3. Lop it on one side of the bread with a big spool. Not like the little ones you eat cereal with, the ones that are a little larger.

4. NO BUTTER KNIVES!!!11!. The spoon works best. You can scoop it with one side, and spread it with the other. Nothing falls off the spoon.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2144/2348615161_f1920b5372.jpg

5. EAT
 
2012-07-02 01:53:52 AM  
do they have one for ramen? 'cause I must be doing it wrong.
 
2012-07-02 02:10:54 AM  
Peanut butter, mayo and honey on toasted bread.
 
2012-07-02 02:15:39 AM  
I liked the video. I usually have peanut butter and jelly as a quick meal, but it would be fun to class one up sometimes.
 
2012-07-02 02:54:04 AM  
Try it. This is the tastiest strawberry preserves I've ever had. Especially for those who favor a higher J to PB ratio.

ecx.images-amazon.com

/hot
 
2012-07-02 05:59:13 AM  
Maybe it's childhood nostalgia, but I prefer my PB&J with highly processed peanut butter, nice sugary jelly, and smushed, chewy bread. And it should preferably have been sat on by a fat person for an hour or two before consumption.
 
2012-07-02 08:53:09 AM  
oh farkers.

you are going to HATE this

Link
 
2012-07-02 09:21:22 AM  

mrlewish: Challa bread? No thanks. A good potato bread is nice. Why the Kosher push on internet cooking videos all of a sudden?


Because the Jews run Hollywood?

Also, for the margarine layer to protect the jelly people. I use a thin, virtually transparent, layer of creamy peanut butter on the jelly side. Some people in the house like the main peanut butter creamy others like crunchy so they get whichever on the peanut butter side.

I like both kinds, crunchy on bread as it give me the mouth sensation I'm looking for. Creamy is for crackers as the cracker itself has that crunch to them and the bonus of being able to squeeze the crackers and eat the peanut butter that oozes out first.

Can peanut butter be addictive? Rarely does a day pass that I don't have some form of the stuff.
 
2012-07-02 09:46:32 AM  

dumbobruni: oh farkers.

you are going to HATE this

Link


::shrug:: It's Hipsterville, USA. Anyone who lives there probably loves that shiat, including the surely outrageous prices, and that's fine with me. Diff'rent strokes. It's not like I'm likely to find myself stuck in W'burg aching for a sammitch and come across that as my only option.

Maybe it's just 'cause I'm older now than when I was a young snarky punk, but I really don't give a shiat what other people enjoy, if they're having a good time and not hurting anyone. Even stuff I genuinely hate, like reality TV -- it's not like I've got to like it or watch it because they do. There are a lot of amusements I personally find pointless or even stupid, but it's got nothing to do with me. I know it's really cool to point at things other people do and laugh or scorn, but I just find that kind of childish and I don't feel it reflects well on those who do it.
 
2012-07-02 09:49:26 AM  

ClintBartonWannabe: mrlewish: Challa bread? No thanks. A good potato bread is nice. Why the Kosher push on internet cooking videos all of a sudden?

Because the Jews run Hollywood?

Also, for the margarine layer to protect the jelly people. I use a thin, virtually transparent, layer of creamy peanut butter on the jelly side. Some people in the house like the main peanut butter creamy others like crunchy so they get whichever on the peanut butter side.

I like both kinds, crunchy on bread as it give me the mouth sensation I'm looking for. Creamy is for crackers as the cracker itself has that crunch to them and the bonus of being able to squeeze the crackers and eat the peanut butter that oozes out first.

Can peanut butter be addictive? Rarely does a day pass that I don't have some form of the stuff.


I do the same, but for a more practical reason: to clean the knife before diving into the jelly.

A lot of people are crazy about peanut butter, so you're not alone.
 
2012-07-02 11:45:50 AM  

dumbobruni: oh farkers.

you are going to HATE this

Link


Nope, they sell jars of their peanut butter at several of my local stores. I had some cinnamon variety of theirs a couple of years ago. It's pretty good...kinda reminds me of Koogle.
 
2012-07-02 02:25:34 PM  

HairBolus: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: HairBolus: I like PBandJ as PB and J without mixing - one piece of bread with PB and one with J where you can take alternating bites.

High quality PB and J is important. The 100% fruit or "no sugar added" J is expensive marketing crap that is "superior" by adding Fructose in the form of concentrated grape juice. Fructose is too sweet and can make your teeth hurt.

J made with cane sugar is superior.

As I believe I understand it, you don't actually need any sugar at all to make jelly. Or pectin. It's just harder and takes longer, and you lose a lot of juice volume. And it comes out tasting like highly concentrated fruit juice ...

You need pectin because that is what makes the jelly jell. It is naturally present in fruit but sometimes there is not enough (such as strawberries) that you need to add some (which can be done "naturally" by say cooking down strawberries with apple peel).

Years back I tried to make some jelly from pineapple guavas (Feijoas). I combined lots of information I found about jelly in general including tests to see if I had cooked it down far enough. I had to cook it a long time before it passed the tests. Once it cooled it was no longer liquid and resembled hard candy more than it did jelly.

So no. Cooking down is not the same as jelling.


FWIW, you can make jam without pectin. My old lady does it all the time. Made 40 pints of strawberry jam last week without pectin or added sugar, just a little honey. It's awesome.
 
2012-07-02 02:33:23 PM  

TexanBoy: Did that biatch just put rooster sauce on a PBJ? Oh hell naw...


Please, it's called "cock sauce". Cock sauce makes everything better.

/ahem.
 
2012-07-02 03:16:31 PM  
Your preferred peanut butter, Smuckers strawberry, and Mrs. Baird's white bread. How hard is that? If you're feeling adventurous, pre-mix the pb with the j before adding to bread.
 
2012-07-02 03:57:51 PM  
I thought it was perfect, except substitute a dutch crunch roll for that bread, use mayonnaise instead of jam, and leave off the peanut butter. Instead try a rib-eye steak, medium rare. Best PBJ you'll ever have.
 
2012-07-02 04:39:58 PM  
That's not a PB&J that's a grilled mcnasty sandwich. Foodie Skank needs to fark off and leave my sammie alone.
 
2012-07-03 12:31:16 AM  

SeedFreak: Is it possible that the whole thing was a high-brow farce? I started laughing when it went asian fusion. Really, it should just be cheap bread, cheap peanut butter and cheap jelly.


Not a farce. This crap is broadcast in the default rss stream on our Sony GoogleTV, with commercials. Sad thing is it isn't the worst content that comes by default.
 
2012-07-03 12:56:02 AM  
THIS is all you need to know.
 
2012-07-04 03:59:27 AM  
Wtf did I watch?
 
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