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(Ranker)   50 greatest examples of Superman being a dick   (ranker.com) divider line 64
    More: Amusing, Superman  
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8596 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 Jun 2012 at 5:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-30 03:34:15 PM
img802.imageshack.us

Yeah, Superman is kind of a jerk when he drinks.
 
2012-06-30 03:43:15 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: [img802.imageshack.us image 400x217]

Yeah, Superman is kind of a jerk when he drinks.


Yeah but how can Superman get drunk? Does he have the ability to tune down his liver?
 
2012-06-30 03:44:57 PM

Mugato: Yeah but how can Superman get drunk? Does he have the ability to tune down his liver?


I just assume that he pokes his liver with a kryptonite-laced cocktail sword or something.
 
2012-06-30 03:50:42 PM
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-30 03:51:22 PM
Really, really hate imgur sometimes...
 
2012-06-30 03:51:42 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Mugato: Yeah but how can Superman get drunk? Does he have the ability to tune down his liver?

I just assume that he pokes his liver with a kryptonite-laced cocktail sword or something.


We're going to see this conversation in the next Kevin Smith movie.
 
2012-06-30 03:55:06 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Yeah, Superman is kind of a jerk when he drinks.


See, you can tell it isn't the real superman because the colors of his cape and logo are darker and dirtier looking, like he hasn't bothered to do his laundry. He doesn't shave as often either.

Alcohol is bad.
 
2012-06-30 03:56:53 PM

Mark Ratner: See, you can tell it isn't the real superman because the colors of his cape and logo are darker and dirtier looking, like he hasn't bothered to do his laundry. He doesn't shave as often either.


That's just cinnamon.

Kal-El hits the spices rather hard when drunk.


Mugato: We're going to see this conversation in the next Kevin Smith movie.


Indeed we are.

We should probably start demanding royalties and screenplay credits now.

(Couldn't hurt.)
 
2012-06-30 04:08:55 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-30 04:17:27 PM
Sexist too.
i105.photobucket.com
i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-30 04:18:14 PM
Just pick a random Kurt Schaffenberger-drawn Lois Lane cover...

images.wikia.com

www2.macleans.ca

images.wikia.com

thefifthbranch.com
 
2012-06-30 04:23:06 PM
imageshack.us

This isn't Superman but Superboy Prime
 
2012-06-30 04:26:28 PM

texdent: [imageshack.us image 400x237]

This isn't Superman but Superboy Prime


Is that Didio or Johns?

/Haven't really thought too highly of Johns since he started using Superboy Prime to tell the people who read his books how much he hates them.
 
2012-06-30 04:26:57 PM
I have a couple of these.
 
2012-06-30 04:33:23 PM
And this
imageshack.us

Reminds me of Scott Summers kissing Emma Frost while standing on or near Jean's grave.
 
2012-06-30 04:33:52 PM

FloydA: Sexist too.


FirstNationalBastard: Just pick a random Kurt Schaffenberger-drawn Lois Lane cover...


On the other side of the coin, Bizarro Superman is a consummate gentleman.
 
2012-06-30 05:05:07 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: FloydA: Sexist too.

FirstNationalBastard: Just pick a random Kurt Schaffenberger-drawn Lois Lane cover...

On the other side of the coin, Bizarro Superman is a consummate gentleman.


www.comics101.com
 
2012-06-30 05:16:47 PM

FirstNationalBastard: www.comics101.com


See?

Bizarro Superman's just trying to be nice.

It's not like he's throwing Jimmy Olsen into the ocean as part of some messed-up Kryptonian tradition or somethin'.
 
2012-06-30 05:31:38 PM
loldailyfun.com
 
2012-06-30 05:40:20 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: FirstNationalBastard: www.comics101.com

See?

Bizarro Superman's just trying to be nice.

It's not like he's throwing Jimmy Olsen into the ocean as part of some messed-up Kryptonian tradition or somethin'.


Hey, if you piss Superman off, he forces you to live in the Ghetto.

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-06-30 05:53:37 PM
51. Superman makes a 10 page article from one page.
 
2012-06-30 06:01:47 PM
Coulda sworn this was on Fark already, within the last few weeks even.
 
2012-06-30 06:03:29 PM
So basically:

1. rip a bunch of covers from superdickery.com
2. Make a slideshow featuring a fifth of their collection.
3. Profit

/apparently Superman isn't the only one being a dick.
 
2012-06-30 06:09:28 PM

skinink: 51. Superman makes a 10 page article from one page.


51a. From the Superdickery site at http://superdickery.com
 
2012-06-30 06:10:49 PM

Shotgun Justice: So basically:

1. rip a bunch of covers from superdickery.com
2. Make a slideshow featuring a fifth of their collection.
3. Profit

/apparently Superman isn't the only one being a dick.


Damn it, I was at the checkout. But yes, Superman Is A Dick is old news.
 
2012-06-30 06:27:58 PM
As was pointed out by the Sugarhill Gang in the late 70s, that's why Lois broke up with him:

"I said by the way, baby, what's your name?
Said i go by the name of Lois Lane
And you could be my boyfriend you surely can
Just let me quit my boyfriend called Superman
I said he's a fairy, I do suppose
Flyin' through the air in pantyhose
He may be very sexy or even cute
But he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit
I said you need a man who's got finesse
And his whole name across his chest
He may be able to fly all through the night
But can he rock a party 'til the early light?
He can't satisfy you with his little worm
But i can bust you out with my super sperm"
 
2012-06-30 06:30:37 PM
I don't see him being a dick in #28.
 
2012-06-30 06:37:37 PM
W.T.F
 
2012-06-30 11:49:26 PM
I liked 2007 too.
 
2012-06-30 11:55:31 PM
They forgot the one where he rapes Jimmy.

i674.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-01 12:11:25 AM
Wait that's not Jimmy. Eh. Close enough.
 
2012-07-01 12:11:45 AM
i618.photobucket.com
 
2012-07-01 12:25:23 AM

Shotgun Justice: So basically:

1. rip a bunch of covers from superdickery.com
2. Make a slideshow featuring a fifth of their collection.
3. Profit

/apparently Superman isn't the only one being a dick.


They did acknowledge superdickery.com at the very top of the first page, so it's not as if they didn't give them credit or a link(top right of first page) to their page to drive some fresh traffic over there.
 
2012-07-01 12:35:26 AM
I like the one where he gives Batman a pistol and challenges him to a duel. It's completely one-sides, because the bullets aren't made of kryptonite to make it equal, otherwise Supes would already be keeling over.
 
2012-07-01 12:45:12 AM

Keizer_Ghidorah: I like the one where he gives Batman a pistol and challenges him to a duel. It's completely one-sides, because the bullets aren't made of kryptonite to make it equal, otherwise Supes would already be keeling over.


Besides the fact that Batman is so mentally scarred by the way his parents were killed, he wouldn't even use the gun.
 
2012-07-01 12:47:29 AM
Considering the number of repeats, it was closer to 43 dickish examples. That last page is just pathetic.
 
2012-07-01 12:55:20 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: [img802.imageshack.us image 400x217]

Yeah, Superman is kind of a jerk when he drinks.


Over in one.
 
2012-07-01 12:59:38 AM
TThat's ok, bruce wayne made him cry by not picking up the phone
 
2012-07-01 01:20:45 AM
images.wikia.com
I actually had this issue when I was a kid, sure it wasnt mint, maybe a bit torn, but its still probably worth a few grand today.
Think it went to goodwill in a box with similar comics when I was 10.

God damn I am too farking old.
 
2012-07-01 01:23:23 AM

Shotgun Justice: So basically:

1. rip a bunch of covers from superdickery.com
2. Make a slideshow featuring a fifth of their collection.
3. Profit

/apparently Superman isn't the only one being a dick.


Quick, someone call that Carreon guy!
 
2012-07-01 01:25:26 AM

orclover: [images.wikia.com image 400x585]
I actually had this issue when I was a kid, sure it wasnt mint, maybe a bit torn, but its still probably worth a few grand today.
Think it went to goodwill in a box with similar comics when I was 10.

God damn I am too farking old.


I think I bought my copy for under 10 bucks.

Ebay prices run from 15 to 35 bucks.
 
2012-07-01 02:55:10 AM

FirstNationalBastard: orclover: [images.wikia.com image 400x585]
I actually had this issue when I was a kid, sure it wasnt mint, maybe a bit torn, but its still probably worth a few grand today.
Think it went to goodwill in a box with similar comics when I was 10.

God damn I am too farking old.

I think I bought my copy for under 10 bucks.

Ebay prices run from 15 to 35 bucks.


Yeah, from what I understand, unless it's from WWII or prior you're likely not gonna find a comic worth too much, unless it's something really really special, and the only reason for that is the whole war drive eating up paper products and comics were just another unimportant yet useful source of paper.
 
2012-07-01 08:00:03 AM

Eravior: They forgot the one where he rapes Jimmy.

[i674.photobucket.com image 226x350]


Um....I'm trying to invent a context in which that image is appropriate. I'm coming up short here.
 
2012-07-01 08:43:50 AM

born_yesterday: Eravior: They forgot the one where he rapes Jimmy.

[i674.photobucket.com image 226x350]

Um....I'm trying to invent a context in which that image is appropriate. I'm coming up short here.


It's probably Superman revealing his secret identity.

...no double entendre intended.
 
2012-07-01 09:01:21 AM
Some things just don't get old.

They started that way.
 
2012-07-01 09:02:44 AM
...Ya gotta admit, they have a point with #16.
 
2012-07-01 09:15:13 AM

cyberspacedout: As was pointed out by the Sugarhill Gang in the late 70s, that's why Lois broke up with him:

"I said by the way, baby, what's your name?
Said i go by the name of Lois Lane
And you could be my boyfriend you surely can
Just let me quit my boyfriend called Superman
I said he's a fairy, I do suppose
Flyin' through the air in pantyhose
He may be very sexy or even cute
But he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit
I said you need a man who's got finesse
And his whole name across his chest
He may be able to fly all through the night
But can he rock a party 'til the early light?
He can't satisfy you with his little worm
But i can bust you out with my super sperm"


Don't forget Newcleus

Superman had came to town to see who he could rock
He blew away every crew he faced until he reached our block
His speakers were three stories high, with woofers made of steel
And when we brought our set outside, he said "Hah, be for real!"
He said, I'm faster than a speedin' bullet when I'm on the set
I don't need no fan to cool my amps, I just use my super breath
I could fly three times around the world without missin' a beat
I socialize with X-ray eyes, and the ladies think it's sweet
And then he turned his power on and the ground began to move
And all the buildings for miles around were swayin' to the groove
And just when he had pulled the crowd and swore he'd won the fight
We rocked his butt with a 12 inch cut called "Disco Kryptonite"
Well, Superman looked up at me, he said, 'You rock so naturally'
I said now that you've learned the deal, let me tell you why I'm so for real
I'm Cozmo D from outer space, I came to rock the human race
I do it right 'cause I can't do it wrong
An that's why the whole world is singin' this song
 
2012-07-01 09:57:52 AM

Eric The Pilot: [i618.photobucket.com image 640x521]


Sweet.

/Wouldn't that project the "S" backwards?
 
2012-07-01 10:17:24 AM

Mugato: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: [img802.imageshack.us image 400x217]

Yeah, Superman is kind of a jerk when he drinks.

Yeah but how can Superman get drunk? Does he have the ability to tune down his liver?


Tar.
 
2012-07-01 11:19:53 AM
Regarding my previous post, there was an image from the article to go along with it, which the site rejected, and i didn't preview it. Then Fark went down on me (giggity) a couple seconds later and i didn't get a chance to correct it.

Anyway, it's allowing me to post it now, so here's what i was WTFing about.
imageshack.us

Seems a little extreme, even by asshole superman standards.
 
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