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(News4Jax)   If you live in the Jacksonville Florida area and bought enema saline laxatives at a drugstore lately, you might want to read this   (news4jax.com) divider line 60
    More: Florida, Florida Area, saline, Jacksonville, Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, Florida Department of Health  
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9153 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2012 at 5:33 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-30 01:12:28 AM  
No shiat, who knew?
 
2012-06-30 01:23:55 AM  
INFECTED POOP THREAD

or something
 
2012-06-30 03:09:21 AM  
All these tests and police involvement because an employee is too daft or lazy to check the box before they reshelve it?
 
2012-06-30 05:41:13 AM  
i527.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-30 05:42:33 AM  
That's just nasty.
 
2012-06-30 05:43:24 AM  
Just came by to see how many farkers live in the Jacksonville Florida area and bought enema saline laxatives at a drugstore lately.

/dnrtfa
 
2012-06-30 05:46:43 AM  
Saline, Saline, over the bounding mane
Where many a stormy wind shall blow
'Ere Jack cums home again.
 
2012-06-30 05:50:38 AM  
With friends like that, who needs enemas.
 
2012-06-30 05:51:24 AM  
So this guy has an enema addiction? Wow, just go full gay and be a bottom already brah
 
2012-06-30 05:57:58 AM  
So, how many backed up Farkers from Jacksonville does subby think will answer YES?
 
2012-06-30 06:00:34 AM  
More to the point, what's his Fark handle?
 
2012-06-30 06:09:46 AM  
The man was identified and arrested. His name is [WE'RE NOT GONNA TELL YOU]
 
2012-06-30 06:10:04 AM  
ngiley.com

/hot like a lit fart
 
2012-06-30 06:13:51 AM  
Would you say he is now an (takes off sunglasses) Enema of the State?

yeeeeaaaahhhhh!
 
2012-06-30 06:16:30 AM  

Mugshot of the suspect:


cdn0.hark.com

 
2012-06-30 06:18:00 AM  
Um...I dunno....is it just me, or should stores have a policy that they don't take back enema kits whether they appear to be used or not? Kinda like sex toys or something? I dunno anywhere that takes them back after you walk out the door with 'em.

Crazy I know....
 
2012-06-30 06:20:56 AM  

publikenemy: So this guy has an enema addiction? Wow, just go full gay and be a bottom already brah


He may have an actual addiction - constant constipation is a symtom of opioid addiction. A lot of junkies use those disposable enemas.
 
2012-06-30 06:23:46 AM  
AbbeySomeone: All these tests and police involvement because an employee is too daft or lazy to check the box before they reshelve it?

Tampering with Pharmaceuticals, since the Tylenol Cyanide murders in the 80s, is a federal crime. It's not just going to be the local police, but in all likelyhood the Feds and the FDA. A saline enema is considered a pharmaceutical, even if OTC.

Things like this can result in entire lots being recalled for safety reasons. The companies which manufacture them eat the cost to the stores.

http://www.fda.gov/RegulatoryInformation/Legislation/ucm148785.htm
 
2012-06-30 06:30:13 AM  
And then there's the one about the constipated mathematician.

He worked it out with a pencil.

/sorry.

//okay, no I'm not.
 
2012-06-30 06:31:43 AM  

Bindyree: He worked it out with a penc


i'm totally stealing that.
 
2012-06-30 06:41:49 AM  
My wife works in pathology at a large hospital. When anything is removed from someone, whether it be your appendix, a cancer biopsy, or a battery some kid swallowed and had to be surgically removed, she has to weigh and measure it, diagnose it if it's a cancer, etc. etc...usually about twice a month, she'll get a bucket sent down to the lab that says "foreign body, rectum". Sometimes it's still vibrating, I shiat you not.

Also, and you are not gonna believe this but it's 100% true...someone shoved some salad tongs up there..you know, the big fork and spoon that are attached. He claims that he was constipated and was trying to help himself. Ya..ok. Another time some dude had tied a piece of string onto a solid steel metallic object, as thick as a can of Coke, and cone shaped at one end. Well, the string broke of course, and 3.5 lbs of solid steel had to be cut out.

I gotta try to find the pic of that, which she showed me. It would shock and awe...I hope. Maybe it's normal to some of you farkers idk.
 
2012-06-30 06:50:14 AM  
If you live in Jacksonville, FL, and recently bought saline enema laxatives...you wouldn't be here on Fark.
 
2012-06-30 06:56:15 AM  

publikenemy: I gotta try to find the pic of that, which she showed me. It would shock and awe...I hope. Maybe it's normal to some of you farkers idk.


Normal to us or not, it's always great fodder to terrify friends with. :p
 
2012-06-30 06:56:58 AM  
publikenemy: My wife works in pathology at a large hospital. When anything is removed from someone, whether it be your appendix, a cancer biopsy, or a battery some kid swallowed and had to be surgically removed, she has to weigh and measure it, diagnose it if it's a cancer, etc. etc...usually about twice a month, she'll get a bucket sent down to the lab that says "foreign body, rectum". Sometimes it's still vibrating, I shiat you not.

One of the worst abdominal trauma's i've worked is on a kid who was using a cheap plastic viberator in the shower when his mom walked in on him. He slipped and fell, and landed flat on his ass. The viberator penetrated his colon and went into his abdomen. When we got to him to transport, he had bled into the peritoneal cavity so much that his belly looked like a basketball. You could still hear the toy going, too.

He almost died on the way to surgery, sadly. Survived, but that's a shiatty way for your mom to find out you like anal play.

publikenemy: Also, and you are not gonna believe this but it's 100% true...someone shoved some salad tongs up there..you know, the big fork and spoon that are attached. He claims that he was constipated and was trying to help himself. Ya..ok. Another time some dude had tied a piece of string onto a solid steel metallic object, as thick as a can of Coke, and cone shaped at one end. Well, the string broke of course, and 3.5 lbs of solid steel had to be cut out.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! One of the first things you do about things like that is use something with a flared base or secured to something for A REASON. Once something gets in there, it creates a vaccuum seal. You're not going to get it out without breaking that.
 
2012-06-30 06:57:28 AM  

Gyrfalcon: If you live in Jacksonville, FL, and recently bought saline enema laxatives...you wouldn't be here on Fark.


Some people take their laptop in the bathroom with them...
 
2012-06-30 07:01:09 AM  

BronyMedic: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! One of the first things you do about things like that is use something with a flared base or secured to something for A REASON. Once something gets in there, it creates a vaccuum seal. You're not going to get it out without breaking that.


Are you seriously asking someone that sticks salad tongs up their ass to be logical about it?
Personally when I look at salad tongs the last thing I think is "I wonder how well that would work as an anal toy...." and I consider myself pretty freaky.
This person DID think that. Somewhere along the line their brain completely skipped the normal reasoning process.
 
2012-06-30 07:12:27 AM  
BronyMedic:

You just reminded me of another one. They found a latex glove in a guys freakn LUNG! Turns out, he took a toilet brush and put the glove on the end of it. He fell and the handle penetrated deep. His 5 yr old son found him dead on the floor. What a legacy to leave eh?
 
2012-06-30 07:14:50 AM  

xanadian: INFECTED POOP THREAD

or something


First off:
i1145.photobucket.com

With that out of the way:

i1145.photobucket.com

files.abovetopsecret.com

Maybe instead of an enema, they should have tried
img87.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-30 07:16:14 AM  
Oh, and last month a 14 yr old kid had a bottle of Sensodyne stuck up there. Not once in 15 years has it ever been a woman with these probs
 
2012-06-30 07:23:36 AM  

publikenemy: Oh, and last month a 14 yr old kid had a bottle of Sensodyne stuck up there. Not once in 15 years has it ever been a woman with these probs


There have been several articles with research that suggests men are more prone to accidents, due to being less cautious and overestimating their skill or knowledge of a subject or activity than women.

The last one I saw was the one that showed men are more likely to be struck by lightning because they're less cautious around thunderstorms and engage in activities that are more likely leave them prone to such events (such as not leaving the golf course quickly enough when it begins to storm, or not taking their boat off the water soon enough, etc.), whereas most women would find shelter as soon as it appears it might storm in the near future.
 
2012-06-30 07:24:11 AM  
FTFA: "Also, out of an abundance of caution, we are proactively contacting all 21 customers we've identified who purchased any of the potentially impacted enema products at the store within this period of time and have succeeded in reaching more than half of them."

Subtle, CVS PR person. What you did there, I see it.

/although any win from that word was negated by your use of "proactively"
//buzzwords make the baby Jesus cry
///slashies
 
2012-06-30 07:29:30 AM  
I'm with whoever said he's a heroin addict. That's some scuzzy ass junky ass shiat to do right there. Yuk, how close do you have to check to see if the enemas are used? Nm, I don't want to know.

Btw, I did some computer work in a gynecologist's office, and he rattled off a laundry list of fruits and objects he'd fished out of ladies' hoohaas over the years, so don't get too uppity ladies. "Quite a few apples" indeed. Gave me a years worth of bc pills for future mrs sczi too. (vasectomy works better (sploosh!))
 
2012-06-30 07:33:12 AM  
Farking 'a'. I cant believe a anyne would accept something like that as a return. The store I work at will not under any circumstance even accept a toilet seat back no matter how well cleaned or how much the customer argues it was never used.

We dont want your poop in our store.
 
2012-06-30 07:40:30 AM  
I worked in an ER long, long ago... and I can say this with 100% certainty:
LIGHT BULBS ARE NOT NOT NOT AN OPTION

/someday I'll tell you about the Fishing Line Incident

.
 
2012-06-30 07:43:34 AM  
it's a little creepy reading how all the buyers of a specific item were tracked down. Big Brother found them, he can find you too, comrade.

they see you when you're sleeping
they know when you're awake
they know what you put in your rectum
pay with cash for goodness sake
 
2012-06-30 07:48:23 AM  
When I was working in radiology, we had a guy come in with a large shampoo bottle stuck up there. The ladies informed me that it was an expensive salon brand. What struck me was that he had inserted it with the wide bottom-end first, not the smaller cap-end. Dude was hardcore.
 
2012-06-30 07:59:06 AM  
in related news, CVS accepts enema returns and then reshelves them.
 
2012-06-30 08:27:09 AM  
can i return my syringes after shooting coke with them??
 
2012-06-30 08:56:55 AM  

BronyMedic: AbbeySomeone: All these tests and police involvement because an employee is too daft or lazy to check the box before they reshelve it?

Tampering with Pharmaceuticals, since the Tylenol Cyanide murders in the 80s, is a federal crime. It's not just going to be the local police, but in all likelyhood the Feds and the FDA. A saline enema is considered a pharmaceutical, even if OTC.

Things like this can result in entire lots being recalled for safety reasons. The companies which manufacture them eat the cost to the stores.



You could have just said "many" and saved a word.
 
2012-06-30 09:05:53 AM  
www.geekologie.com

/Any excuse to post Butt Lightyear is a good excuse.
//Feet-first, wings open.
 
2012-06-30 09:07:29 AM  
Enema addiction damn near rectum!
 
2012-06-30 09:23:52 AM  

Bindyree: And then there's the one about the constipated mathematician.

He worked it out with a pencil.

/sorry.

//okay, no I'm not.


With help from the slide rule.
 
2012-06-30 10:27:22 AM  
This guy is such a douche!
i125.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-30 11:13:58 AM  

MadameX: I worked in an ER long, long ago... and I can say this with 100% certainty:
LIGHT BULBS ARE NOT NOT NOT AN OPTION

/someday I'll tell you about the Fishing Line Incident

.


Do it nooooooowwww
 
2012-06-30 11:32:51 AM  
FTFA:
"purchase a pack of enamas"
" had been used and the box and been resealed"
"An employee then check the additional three"
" 'Because.... 'We are... 'Also, out... 'Anyone...' "

wtfark edited this article?! oh wait, it WAS flarodi
 
2012-06-30 11:48:38 AM  

MadameX: I worked in an ER long, long ago... and I can say this with 100% certainty:
LIGHT BULBS ARE NOT NOT NOT AN OPTION


recleg.files.wordpress.com

No thanks.
 
2012-06-30 12:25:05 PM  
I really don't understand what goes through people's minds to try this stuff. There's gotta be safer ways to get your rocks off.
 
2012-06-30 12:42:45 PM  
jokes.mtvnimages.com

Also, why'd that guy pay entirely in pennies??
 
2012-06-30 01:13:57 PM  

AbbeySomeone: All these tests and police involvement because an employee is too daft or lazy to check the box before they reshelve it?


Dude, it's farking Jaxsuckvile! This is the Borg Collective for MORONS, I swear it; the motto here is "We're the second-rate city of the South and damned proud!" It's where intelligence is stillborn. My wife may very well be the only smart person I have ever met that was from here, and we're both dying to get the hell out, and have plans in motion to finally escape. I can't stand another year in this festering shiathole of stupidity, where the lowest common denominator is the only goal.

I mean come on, these worthless farktards keep re-electing Corrine motherfarking Brown, turned a blind eye to the fact that the former mayor's petrol company got a no-bid contract to fuel every city vehicle, have a city council that OPENLY DEFIES their constituents at every turn *with them present at the very meetings demanding one thing, and then they physically turn around and give the cocksuckers that paid them off the very thing we demanded they do NOT do*, they drain wetlands and then act surprised when the water floods their homes and businesses and the wildlife moves in... it's like 90% of the population here are crack babies or something, race not a determining factor.

I have traveled the East Coast hundreds of times, and have visited every state from Maine to Texas, plus Arizona, and Canada. I have lived in Western New York, Ohio, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, and spent more time than I would have liked in Mississippi, and yet never have I seen a collection of retards, idiots, morons, half-wits, shiatheads, assholes, degenerates, losers, and vile opportunists like I have found erupting here. No one with a high IQ stays for long unless they are busy fleecing the people or the system, and the only reason we haven't escaped yet is because the economic downturn and layoffs have slowed our plans. Slowed, but not ended. We WILL escape this septic ulcer of a hemorrhoid.

Truly, this worthless town does need an enema!
 
2012-06-30 01:28:36 PM  

MadameX: I worked in an ER long, long ago... and I can say this with 100% certainty:
LIGHT BULBS ARE NOT NOT NOT AN OPTION

/someday I'll tell you about the Fishing Line Incident

.


No, please do. You go there, I'll mention a few of mine. One involving a Nerf ball, and another involving 2 grand in 20s and 50s.
 
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