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(WWSB ABC 7)   Today's Mad Libs-inspired headline: Man is [stabbed] after [feeding peanut butter] to his [dog]   (mysuncoast.com) divider line 15
    More: Florida, pocketknife, criminal accusation, stab wound  
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2655 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2012 at 1:40 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



15 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-29 09:12:14 PM  
According to the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office, the victim accused 35-year-old John Vargo of Deep Derp Creek of feeding his dog peanut butter. Vargo told deputies that he threw the empty peanut butter container at the victim, who then punched Vargo in the head.
 
2012-06-30 01:44:05 AM  
I so thought this would be dog bite to the genitals story
 
2012-06-30 01:52:54 AM  
Floridians have lunacy down to a science.
 
2012-06-30 02:16:40 AM  
Yeah, if by "feeding his dog" you mean "spreading peanut butter on his balls for his dog to lick off." Probably in full view of a preschool.
 
2012-06-30 02:48:02 AM  
You know, doesn't he look exactly like the kind of guy who would smear peanut butter all over his dick to get oral sex from a dog?
 
2012-06-30 03:39:40 AM  
not to be a stickler, but the mad lib format would be [feeding] [peanut butter].
 
2012-06-30 04:59:35 AM  
This is precisely why we have the "Florida" tag.
 
2012-06-30 06:15:17 AM  
Man is [penised] after [feeding penis butter] to his [penis].

/penis
 
2012-06-30 06:53:13 AM  
I don't understand. You have 3 people, Vargo, his girlfriend and victim.

So victim accused Vargo of feeding peanut butter to his dog. Whose dog. Victim's or Vargo's? Why was dog not mentioned in the rest of the story, was he in truck with victim or was he Vargo's dog?

Vargo throws peanut butter container at victim. Then either a) victim threatens Vargo w/ bat, Vargo stabs him, victim gets in truck to drive away or b) Vargo goes inside, gets knife, stabs victim who then threatens him w/ bat, or doesn't, then gets in truck and drives away.

Deputies arrive in time to see victim driving away with or without dog and notice he's injured.

What happened to the dog? None of this makes sense unless alcohol or other drug was involved. TFA didn't mention that and they usually do.

I'm confused but I'm moving on with my life anyway.
 
2012-06-30 07:24:22 AM  

Apos: Floridians have lunacy down to a science.


It's a required course for graduation.
 
2012-06-30 07:39:46 AM  

susler:
...None of this makes sense unless alcohol or other drug was involved...


It took place in Florida. Once you see the "Florida" tag you know the story is going to involve some random non-sensical violent behaviour from some drug-addled nutjobs. I don't know why but all the crazies end up in Florida. Maybe it is a spawning ground where they gather to breed or something.
 
2012-06-30 09:47:16 AM  
Your dog wants steak.
 
2012-06-30 02:24:51 PM  
you don't fark with a mans dog. you just don't do it.
 
2012-07-01 01:21:20 PM  

Arkanaut: Your dog wants steak.


But all he gets is peanut butter a la balls.
 
2012-07-01 09:13:51 PM  

Nidiot: susler:
...None of this makes sense unless alcohol or other drug was involved...

It took place in Florida. Once you see the "Florida" tag you know the story is going to involve some random non-sensical violent behaviour from some drug-addled nutjobs. I don't know why but all the crazies end up in Florida. Maybe it is a spawning ground where they gather to breed or something.



It's probably related to the fact that they're drowning in prescription pills.
 
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