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(USA Today)   One moment you're giving a lecture, the next two chimpanzees grab your feet and pull you under an electrified fence, drag you for almost a half-mile, and bite off multiple important parts of you   (content.usatoday.com) divider line 20
    More: Scary, Jane Goodall Institute, animal sanctuary, speeches, multiples  
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12927 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2012 at 12:26 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-30 02:14:02 AM  
2 votes:
i184.photobucket.com
2012-06-30 01:02:59 AM  
2 votes:
"the man had crossed the first of two fences separating the chimpanzees from visitors and was standing close to the second fence"

Farking moron. Never, ever cross the fences at a "zoo." They are they to not only keep the animals in but to keep you alive!
2012-06-30 01:02:37 AM  
2 votes:
You see this is why I have no guilt in eating animals. I always figured that if they could find a way of catching me they would have no problems chewing on me either.
2012-06-30 12:49:51 AM  
2 votes:
If I am remembering my nature shows correctly, if a foreign male is found within the territory of a different group, part of the attack is ripping off the testicles. That guy should send a thank you letter to Levi's.
2012-06-30 12:39:02 AM  
2 votes:
The newspaper says Oberle lost some fingers and part of his ear in the attack.

If he still has his face, he got of light. Hope he recovers okay, aside from the lost figures, but geez. Chimps are not to be farked around with.

Or any primates, really.

/Except for maybe marmosets, which are small.
//And lemurs. Lemurs are adorable.
2012-06-30 01:14:41 PM  
1 votes:
media.screened.com

Wanted for questioning.
2012-06-30 12:27:13 PM  
1 votes:

J. Frank Parnell: Tellingthem: You see this is why I have no guilt in eating animals. I always figured that if they could find a way of catching me they would have no problems chewing on me either.

Yeah, cows and deer are absolutely bloodthirsty.


Deer are: "We need to consider rethinking the notion that deer are herbivores and instead consider them omnivores that just aren't good at catching game."
2012-06-30 11:36:33 AM  
1 votes:
You know, there's this thing that if built in front of any really importance. It's called a drop line or a dead line. It's a rope or short fence that runs in front of the big fence.

In prisons, if you cross the dead line, you are facing being shot and killed by guards before you even reach the big fence.

Any fence that's holding in wild animals should have a drop line that no human crosses.
2012-06-30 10:44:19 AM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-06-30 04:45:36 AM  
1 votes:
Chimps: Not quite as good at figuring out ways to be an asshole as Humans, but once they've got the plan they're much better at the execution.
2012-06-30 04:44:56 AM  
1 votes:

Pvt Joker: Maybe this happened to these chimps:

A hunter in Uganda is being sought by local authorities for illegally hunting gorillas. He shoots them with a tranquilizer gun and dresses them in clown suits. So far six gorillas have been found wandering around in this condition.

A Ugandan spokesman stated that this was a person with a truly sick sense of humor. They felt this was a cruel practice, since they had to tranquilize the gorillas again to take the suits off!

Link


That would rustle anyone's jimmies.
2012-06-30 04:17:12 AM  
1 votes:
It says in the article that the student was working as a wildlife ranger at the sanctuary. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse that he got close enough to be dragged under the fence.

What I mean is, when a person in the tour group does it, that's obvious asshattery in the first degree. Everyone can understand it was a stupid move to do that. But if the guy was actually acting as a ranger, was he supposed to get that close for any particular reason? Had he been trained to avoid getting close to the final fence or told to go near it for some reason? I'm not sure if this makes him more or less stupid.

Either way I feel bad for the guy. I'm pretty sure suddenly being grabbed by a chimp and dragged under a fence would be an instant pants shiatting moment.
2012-06-30 02:44:48 AM  
1 votes:
Chimps are scary mean ass cannibalistic bastards.

I'd be far more worried about a loose chimp than a loose tiger. Not to say I wouldn't worry about the tiger, just that I'd carry an extra gun for the chimp.
2012-06-30 02:00:04 AM  
1 votes:

LoneWolf343: J. Frank Parnell: Tellingthem: You see this is why I have no guilt in eating animals. I always figured that if they could find a way of catching me they would have no problems chewing on me either.

Yeah, cows and deer are absolutely bloodthirsty.

Deer have been known to kick people's asses for shiats and giggles.


Just because they won't eat you, doesn't mean they won't kill you.

/only thing that prevents an attack is their fear that you'll kill them
//naturally, people think this instinctive timidity means they're cute and need to be taught that humans aren't as bad as they think
///the same people blame the park rangers when the deer they're hugging suddenly mauls them
2012-06-30 01:30:52 AM  
1 votes:
Jesus....as a kid I used to laugh at the show "Lancelot Link". Now I'm just picturing the entire cast finally having enough and mangling their handlers.
2012-06-30 01:21:31 AM  
1 votes:

J. Frank Parnell: Tellingthem: You see this is why I have no guilt in eating animals. I always figured that if they could find a way of catching me they would have no problems chewing on me either.

Yeah, cows and deer are absolutely bloodthirsty.


Deer have been known to kick people's asses for shiats and giggles.
2012-06-30 01:04:56 AM  
1 votes:
I have been to an ape sanctuary (not the one in the article) and while it is good they get the apes out of the abusive places they were in and to some place they can live most of those apes are completely insane, just like a person who went through some horrifically abusive life would end up being. Scary stuff, I hope the guy pulls though!
Ro
2012-06-30 12:47:52 AM  
1 votes:
why lecture apes? they'll never learn!
2012-06-30 12:34:14 AM  
1 votes:
This shiat right here is why I steer the hell clear of any simian that's less-evolved than myself. They've got crazy cunning and strength and no reservations about biting someone's hands and face right off.

/I'm not too keen on most people, either.
2012-06-30 12:31:02 AM  
1 votes:
i268.photobucket.com
 
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