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(Sky.com) NewsFlash Tom Cruise shaves beard   (news.sky.com) divider line 470
    More: NewsFlash, Tom Cruise, Dawson's Creek, Mimi Rogers, movie musicals, beards, Nicole Kidman  
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29628 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Jun 2012 at 2:22 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Archived thread
 
2012-06-29 02:23:12 PM
LOL, good one subby.
 
2012-06-29 02:23:14 PM
+1
 
2012-06-29 02:23:28 PM
Katie is free again - but at what cost?
 
2012-06-29 02:23:30 PM
I am horribly shocked by this
 
2012-06-29 02:23:31 PM
Too many massage parties at Travolta's house...
 
2012-06-29 02:24:10 PM
Awesome, smitty.
 
2012-06-29 02:24:13 PM
I don't get the beard reference...
 
2012-06-29 02:24:15 PM
I snerk'd. Bravo, subby.
 
2012-06-29 02:24:26 PM
I was waiting for this. Even predicted the headline correctly..
OK, commence celebrating.
As a het female, this does not help me in the slightest.
 
2012-06-29 02:24:31 PM
Counseling by Xenu can save them.
 
2012-06-29 02:24:37 PM
First John Travolta, now Tom Cruise, Xenu is going to be very displeased, quick feed him more money before he damages our thetans!
 
2012-06-29 02:24:39 PM
Finally Chris Klein can see his kid?
 
2012-06-29 02:24:43 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?
 
2012-06-29 02:24:46 PM
Hummm, 1st Travolta's in the news and Tom's back on the market. I wonder........

//Oh +1 to you subby
 
2012-06-29 02:24:47 PM
I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise
 
2012-06-29 02:24:52 PM
Great headline. Would lol again.

+1
 
2012-06-29 02:25:01 PM
Wonder if she'll have to give up Suri like Nicole had to give up her kids (I know she sees them sometimes but Tom has primary custody-I think she had to give him that to be able to leave)
 
2012-06-29 02:25:05 PM
As I wrote on FB, I think Rock of Ages was the last straw for Katie. Tom didn't just come out of the closet, he broke a land speed record.
 
2012-06-29 02:25:07 PM
So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?
 
2012-06-29 02:25:14 PM
But will she be able to divorce herself from the cult as well?
 
2012-06-29 02:25:27 PM
That was unexpected.
 
2012-06-29 02:25:30 PM
It's a sad, sad day. I was sure their love would last forever.
 
2012-06-29 02:25:47 PM
But *she* filed for divorce. So it's more that Tom Cruise's beard "fell off" or "left" or "filed for divorce" rather than Tom actually doing anything, right?

/I know, welcome to fark.jpg
 
2012-06-29 02:25:55 PM

Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...


A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.
 
2012-06-29 02:26:02 PM
He'll get over it. Any bets how soon he remarries?
 
2012-06-29 02:26:12 PM

rhondajeremy: Wonder if she'll have to give up Suri like Nicole had to give up her kids (I know she sees them sometimes but Tom has primary custody-I think she had to give him that to be able to leave)


She can just buy another damned iPhone. She's got plenty of money.
 
2012-06-29 02:26:15 PM
I heard she was tired of putting hair on her butt
 
2012-06-29 02:26:16 PM
So there was a breech in the compound's security?
 
2012-06-29 02:26:18 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?


After they split, Tom used Scientology to drive Nicole Kidman to drink, and I don't think they were much kinder to Penelope Cruz, Katie better watch out.
 
2012-06-29 02:26:20 PM
I submitted this with a similar headline, but simple wins.

From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.

She's been heading out in NYC with no makeup lately. Tom Cruise hates hates hates this. Her publicist called her to tell her that Tom was getting mad that her hag look was ruining his reputation and she laughed and said "Good!"

/blindgossip
 
2012-06-29 02:26:22 PM

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


Damn, learned something new today
 
2012-06-29 02:26:31 PM

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Beard: a woman used by a gay guy in order to pass as straight
 
2012-06-29 02:26:45 PM

Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...


Some closet homosexuals get girlfriends/wives to maintain an illusion of heterosexuality (manliness); those girlfriends/wives are referred to as "Beards".
 
2012-06-29 02:26:54 PM
DAMNIT!

Too slow on the headline!

+1UP!
 
2012-06-29 02:27:05 PM

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


A beard is a common term for a spouse who's only purpose is to hide a person's true sexuality. In other words, he married Katie Holmes in order to seem heterosexual to the public.
 
2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM
I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.
 
2012-06-29 02:27:17 PM
him and eddie murphy should just totally date.
 
2012-06-29 02:27:20 PM
I hate the fact that this is news flash-worthy.
 
2012-06-29 02:27:55 PM
"Newsflash!" tag? Why?
 
2012-06-29 02:27:56 PM
Smitty FTW.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:00 PM

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


Ah ok. Thanks. I have three beards then.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:01 PM

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


A beard is a term for the wife of someone who is gay so they can stay in the closet.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:02 PM

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Wiki article.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:06 PM
Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

img.photobucket.com
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)
 
2012-06-29 02:28:08 PM
a joke older than Katie Holmes is getting accolades. cool beans.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:19 PM
He has already been spotted with his new girlfriend:

pub.tv2.no
 
2012-06-29 02:28:26 PM
The Suri one was better.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:28 PM
26.media.tumblr.com

Do we care? Are we caring about that?
 
2012-06-29 02:28:32 PM
Yay! She's making her escape!
 
2012-06-29 02:28:34 PM

Tat'dGreaser: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

Damn, learned something new today


me too!! never heard of that one.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:36 PM

mongbiohazard: But will she be able to divorce herself from the cult as well?


There is something glamorous about putting 'subversive person' on a CV.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:39 PM
Bravo, subby. I always love headlines like this. When I try to describe Fark to people, these are the kinds of headlines I use.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:41 PM
I can't wait to see all the bouncy cruiz memes.

We all knew it would happen, the guys a farking loon
 
2012-06-29 02:28:52 PM
So what's the cause? Anyone want to offer an opinion?

I think it's a tossup between the two obvious options:

1) It's because Tom Cruise is gay and that doesn't make for an easy hetero-marriage.

2) It's because Katie couldn't stand being in their cult anymore and she wants to leave scientology.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:54 PM
Bet hes on the penis train tonight. Penis train.
 
2012-06-29 02:29:10 PM
Anybody know why when I click on certain articles they pop up over and over?
 
2012-06-29 02:29:12 PM
NOOOO! NOT TOMKAT!!11
 
2012-06-29 02:29:22 PM

Walker: Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

[img.photobucket.com image 445x529]
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)



Ding ding ding
 
2012-06-29 02:29:27 PM
I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.
 
2012-06-29 02:29:28 PM
ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.
 
2012-06-29 02:29:34 PM
Clearly smarter than Nicole Kidman, Katie only opted for the 5 year contract....
 
2012-06-29 02:29:41 PM

FarkinHostile: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

Some closet homosexuals get girlfriends/wives to maintain an illusion of heterosexuality (manliness); those girlfriends/wives are referred to as "Beards".


I don't think beards are exclusive to gay men.
 
2012-06-29 02:30:03 PM
A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."
 
2012-06-29 02:30:14 PM
Nice headline.

Marriage Impossible
 
2012-06-29 02:30:22 PM

sigdiamond2000: I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.


Can we get a Supreme court ruling on this?
 
2012-06-29 02:30:27 PM
I voted against this headline because it is so freaking obvious. The "Suri" one was much better.

Subby should not have gotten rewarded for such low-hanging fruit*.


*like Tom Cruise.
 
2012-06-29 02:30:39 PM

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


In case no one has answered yet, a beard is a woman a gay man dates or marries in order to remain in the closet.
 
2012-06-29 02:30:41 PM

Klippoklondike: metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?

A beard is a common term for a spouse who's only purpose is to hide a person's true sexuality. In other words, he married Katie Holmes in order to seem heterosexual to the public.


I learned something today.
 
2012-06-29 02:30:50 PM
I wonder who Katie got tired of dressing up as more....Travolta or Kilmer?

//i don't think Tom liked being on top
 
2012-06-29 02:30:58 PM
Newsflash? Really?
 
2012-06-29 02:31:05 PM

foo monkey: The Suri one was better.


by a mile.
a stiff, completely discreet, non-disclosure agreement signed 8", anyway.
 
2012-06-29 02:31:06 PM
Maybe Holmes got sick of Cruise limiting her career? She hasn't done jack shiat since they got married.
 
2012-06-29 02:31:11 PM

monoski: I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise


That was pretty good too !
 
2012-06-29 02:31:12 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


low mileage, lightly used
 
2012-06-29 02:31:36 PM
slidingclosetdoor.net

Out out, Tommy!
 
2012-06-29 02:32:19 PM
www.inquisitr.com

Seems appropriate on many levels.
 
2012-06-29 02:32:27 PM

Brother_Mouzone: a joke older than Katie Holmes is getting accolades. cool beans.


you sound old
 
2012-06-29 02:32:30 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]


Only 5% of submitted links ever make it to the main page so submitting the same story with the same headline 20 times guarantees it making it right?
 
2012-06-29 02:32:35 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]


Yeah.. the anal sex headline kinda wins. Especially if you read it in Norm McDonald's voice.
 
2012-06-29 02:33:27 PM

SirAdrianDangerous: sigdiamond2000: I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Can we get a Supreme court ruling on this?


The anal sex headline has not been redlit yet.

The admin needs to pull a John Roberts and shock the world by yanking this headline.
 
2012-06-29 02:33:40 PM

Leeds: So what's the cause? Anyone want to offer an opinion?

I think it's a tossup between the two obvious options:

1) It's because Tom Cruise is gay and that doesn't make for an easy hetero-marriage.

2) It's because Katie couldn't stand being in their cult anymore and she wants to leave scientology.


Katie... Katie never loved Tom, she was offered a lucrative contract. But as any arragned marriage, they formed a relationship of sorts, never sexual, think skipping the "salad days" - She was in on it, knows he is gay, was told by his handlers and him never to make comments about it and his private wrestling matches, and in 5 years she could resign.
But the constant Scientology buzzards circling around her every move numbed her, broke her, and she loves that little girl, but Suri is the child of Scientology, and Suri as she grows up, naturally with Scientology handlers finding ways to plant influence in her life, will make the remainder of Katie's motherhood quite simply, a living hell.
 
2012-06-29 02:33:45 PM
But she'll always have something to remember him by.
www.demeterclarc.com (hot)(and itchy)
 
2012-06-29 02:33:50 PM

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


oh i get it now, that's hilarious. good headline.
 
2012-06-29 02:34:16 PM
Saw the Tom Cruise bird shiat facial news and wanted to have both stories merged to have a great headline opportunity.

"Tom Cruise takes sh#t facial to shave beard"
 
2012-06-29 02:34:40 PM
WHY Katie? I've finally accepted that you and I could never be so I decided to have a child with my wife and now you DO THIS?! HOW COULD YOU?!
 
2012-06-29 02:34:42 PM
I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 02:35:09 PM
Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES
 
2012-06-29 02:35:26 PM

MrEricSir: Maybe Holmes got sick of Cruise limiting her career? She hasn't done jack shiat since they got married.


Her career had peaked and was in decline by the time they got married - it's not like she was going to be the next Merryl Streep.

/Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite
///definitely the pinnacle of her acting acheivements
 
2012-06-29 02:35:30 PM
I couldn't help it. :-)

img51.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 02:35:52 PM
i978.photobucket.com

But he took this marriage SO SERIOUSLY
 
2012-06-29 02:36:02 PM

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


I think one probably could now. Cruise is just batshiat crazy. Don't Scientologists disavow the existence of homosexuality?
 
2012-06-29 02:36:03 PM
But, I didn't even know he had a be--oh, you!
 
2012-06-29 02:36:09 PM
awesome, now Quentin can write a movie for her and begin the comebac

Contrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]


I like the Huffingtonpost one. i know brevity is the soul of wit but its rambling overly detailed headline was just fitting.
 
2012-06-29 02:36:11 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Yeah, subby was an original genius


Butthurt that yours wasn't picked?

memedepot.com
 
2012-06-29 02:36:33 PM

foo monkey: Suri


Yes it was. Mods/Admin replace this headline with that one.

/slips them some cash
//not that subby
 
2012-06-29 02:36:41 PM
I'm a publicist for Katie Holmes.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 02:36:43 PM
I don't ever remember Tom with facial hair. What is going on here?
 
2012-06-29 02:36:51 PM
subby: Tom Cruise shaves beard

www.infamouskidd.com

BOO! BRING BACK THE FROG!

/golf clap
 
2012-06-29 02:37:25 PM
pstudent12 SmartestFunniest 2012-06-29 02:34:42 PM


I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

Old school! :)
 
2012-06-29 02:37:48 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?


I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.
 
2012-06-29 02:38:17 PM

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: him and eddie murphy should just totally date.


I don't think Johnny Gill would be down for that. How does Tommy Girl look in a dress, anyway?
 
2012-06-29 02:38:22 PM
Now, because Katie actually filed the petition of dissolution, shouldn't the headline have been "Beard shaves Tom Cruise"?
 
2012-06-29 02:38:41 PM

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


If the next Star Trek rakes in as much money as expected, Zachary Quinto will be well on his way to "major Hollywood action star" status and nobody gives a fark that he's out, so that day may come sooner rather than later.

/now if only Jeremy Renner would drop the "the guy I live with is my business partner and I'm just too busy to date" talking point
 
2012-06-29 02:39:06 PM
youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com
 
2012-06-29 02:39:19 PM
Fires, Homelessness and Fraud...

And THIS is important?
 
2012-06-29 02:39:22 PM

Silly Jesus: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

Ah ok. Thanks. I have three beards then.


A beard can also be a person who dates or marries a straight person to convince that straight person's ex to go the fark away :)

It's really, just anyone you're "dating" as a disguise...
 
2012-06-29 02:39:31 PM

Disposable Rob: I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.


maybe they tried some sort of Clockwork method to cure what they perceive as a problem, but instead wind up reinforcing it
 
2012-06-29 02:39:51 PM

Walker: Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

[img.photobucket.com image 445x529]
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)


Katie's got her smirk back!
Tom just needs to be with his short asian pilot boyfriends and be done with it.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:51 PM

balancing act: monoski: I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise

That was pretty good too !


Gay dudes (like myself) want nothing to do with that freakshow.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:52 PM

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.



Tom is a TOOL of the Scientology CULT.
Katie was suckered into it after Tom interviewed starlets to join his Xenu Squad III.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:58 PM

LeroyBourne: ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.


I'm fairly certain -- without even having read it -- that the prenup she signed in CA would utterly, completely, strictly prohibit her even WRITING a book such as that, let alone publishing one.
 
2012-06-29 02:40:30 PM

llfennell: with Scientology handlers finding ways to plant influence in her life, will make the remainder of Katie's motherhood quite simply, a living hell.


i.imgur.com

Wow. Sounds like you need some reassessment of your ARC triangle.
 
2012-06-29 02:41:31 PM
Maybe he's going to finally stop running?

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-06-29 02:41:45 PM
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.


Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)
 
2012-06-29 02:41:47 PM
Headline of the year FTW!
 
2012-06-29 02:42:01 PM

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

blogs.babycenter.com

I love this picture of him and his family.
 
2012-06-29 02:42:25 PM

Hermione_Granger: Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay


they were all wishing him to be happy, does he not want to be happy?
 
2012-06-29 02:42:36 PM

Somacandra: Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES


I thought I remembered reading that the story was that when she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks and they conveniently changed it to be Tom Cruise. Also, something about having a Tom Hanks poster in her room.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:09 PM
So she produced a child and put in the time required by her contract. She fulfilled her obligations and gets her payout. All parties involved got what they wanted and the deal is done. Business as usual.

/now he'll swear off marriage but be seen in the company of beautiful women and able to spend time with his new male "assistant"
 
2012-06-29 02:43:14 PM

you have pee hands: Don't Scientologists disavow the existence of homosexuality?


Hubbard's books treat it within the context of mental health thought when they were written, so yeah the books say its pathological. But that's not the same thing as current COS policy.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:21 PM

filter: He'll get over it. Any bets how soon he remarries?


Depends on how soon Prop 8 gets overturned, and whether there's a guy out there who wants him.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:24 PM
Where were you farkers who don't know what a beard is when Michelle Bachman was sucking corn dog?
 
2012-06-29 02:44:06 PM

beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite


The Germans giving birth to several million jews?
 
2012-06-29 02:44:10 PM

Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.


That is an AWESOME Captain Hook costume
 
2012-06-29 02:44:19 PM

GaidinBDJ: When I try to describe Fark to people, these are the kinds of headlines I use.


And they slowly back away.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:26 PM

CheneyPepperedMe: she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks


Don't be silly. No one wants to marry Tom Hanks.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:32 PM
Guess she can go back to crawling through Dawson's window again.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:38 PM
Let me be the 50th to say, today I learned a new word. Thank you Farkers.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:08 PM

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


images.eonline.com

Me too.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:16 PM

IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?


oh no you didn't
 
2012-06-29 02:45:23 PM
Katie just went "show me the money!"
 
2012-06-29 02:45:24 PM

CheneyPepperedMe: Somacandra: Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES

I thought I remembered reading that the story was that when she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks and they conveniently changed it to be Tom Cruise. Also, something about having a Tom Hanks poster in her room.


Ha! One of them is known for being in Big.
The other one is known for being Small.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:42 PM

IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?


In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:59 PM

texdent: Guess she can go back to crawling through Dawson's window again.


Sweet!
 
2012-06-29 02:46:19 PM

cchris_39: Anybody know why when I click on certain articles they pop up over and over?


Because you have Parkinson's?
 
2012-06-29 02:46:27 PM

Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.


NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.
 
2012-06-29 02:46:56 PM
Katie has executed the 5-year out clause. The marriage has not raised her fame by the required margin. She requests her contracted 5-year bonus, and waives all claims to the 7-year and 10-year bonuses she could have received. As part of this 5-year bonus, she agrees to abide by the original non-disclosure agreement.
 
2012-06-29 02:46:57 PM
Well, at least Katie's rectum is getting a well deserved break.

Hope she denounces $cientology, too.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:06 PM
I thought it was common knowledge they had a 5 year contract where he needed a beard and she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant. Although I've heard that she broke up with Chris because he had a drinking problem, but then I heard he broke up with her because he didn't want to be a dad. Anyway, Tom and Katie had the same publicist or agent or something who thought they could fulfill each other's needs. Chris Klein has almost the similar features to both of them so it wouldn't be suspicious.

//Don't really know anything, but that was always the speculation by most people. Most people seemed to at least know the 5 year contract part which has turned out to be true or at least this is highly coincidental. In the least we knew they would split before 10 years like he did with Nicole because once they hit 10 years in CA, she gets significantly more money regardless of a pre-nup (or so I've heard). I believe he filed for divorce from Nicole at almost exactly 10 years, but got in right under the wire.

//Why am I writing all this because I don't give a crap about any of them?
 
2012-06-29 02:47:27 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.

That is an AWESOME Captain Hook costume


He must know people in costume design / show business.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:30 PM

Tat'dGreaser: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

Damn, learned something new today


Ditto. My best guess was a "bearded clam" joke of some sort.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:54 PM
pics.celebritycarsblog.com

R.I.P SHERLOCK HOLMES AND HIS FABULOUS CRUISE


...I got nothin'...
 
2012-06-29 02:47:57 PM

H31N0US: Me too.


i.imgur.com

I prefer the shooped one on the left.
 
2012-06-29 02:48:24 PM

rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.


Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).
 
2012-06-29 02:48:33 PM

Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.


Dude. It's not cool to make fun of the blind.
 
2012-06-29 02:49:07 PM

dramboxf: LeroyBourne: ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.

I'm fairly certain -- without even having read it -- that the prenup she signed in CA would utterly, completely, strictly prohibit her even WRITING a book such as that, let alone publishing one.


Like I said, 'i know it'll never happen,' he'd sue her faster than he runs. But she has close friends, and rumors be rumors.
 
2012-06-29 02:49:37 PM
So long, and thanks for all the herpes!
 
2012-06-29 02:49:57 PM

Another Government Employee: Fires, Homelessness and Fraud...

And THIS is important?


Important enough for you to comment on. And I see my tax dollars are hard at work too.

/Welcome to Fark, etc.
 
2012-06-29 02:50:16 PM

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


Does some Nascar driver sponsored by McD's go out and say he prefers 5 Guys?

Cruise may prefer 5 Guys but he needs women to believe in the illusion that they are up to the Impossible Mission of getting at his Top Gun because he actually might want them.
 
2012-06-29 02:50:33 PM
p.twimg.com

/hot like this thread
 
2012-06-29 02:51:11 PM

Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.


Impossibly cute kids. Should be proud and I'm sure he is.

See, the essential problem is this...Harris is gay, he's ok with it, we move on and so does he. People like Travolta and Cruise are at least bisexual, not ok with it for a variety of reasons which is why they got hooked up with a cult to begin with, and we constantly make jokes about them, forbidding them from moving on, so they stay closeted.

Real therapy, not fake analysis is what Cruise and Travolta need to come to grips with their lifestyle and what they are. Harris just needs to keep being Harris.
 
2012-06-29 02:51:16 PM
His boyfriend told him it tickled his scrotum too much.
 
2012-06-29 02:51:40 PM

Somacandra: H31N0US: Me too.



I prefer the shooped one on the left.


Almost looks like TC in the background...
 
2012-06-29 02:52:12 PM

Wellon Dowd: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

The perkiest part of her career.


If you didn't fall in love with her after GO!, then I don't know what to tell you.
 
2012-06-29 02:52:46 PM
i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-29 02:52:47 PM
To think a mere 6 years ago You Cold-Hearted Cyber Bullies Said It Wouldn't Last
http://boingboing.net/2006/02/14/tom-have-you-been-cr.html

Thread search term: definatly
 
2012-06-29 02:53:01 PM
I hope this bad experience does not turn him off women for good.
 
2012-06-29 02:53:32 PM
So I don't follow Hollywood around much, but I never got the impression Tom Cruise was gay. Pants-shiattingly crazy, no doubt. But I never got a whiff of the gay

Then again I never saw Top Gun or Rock of Ages... *shrug*
 
2012-06-29 02:53:57 PM

Expolaris: rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.

Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).


Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

Aren't there lots of rumors about Vin Diesel?
 
2012-06-29 02:54:23 PM
NewsFlash because... Scientologists have something on Drew?
 
2012-06-29 02:54:37 PM

Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.


In Bizarro world, Anne Frank can both see AND hear.
 
2012-06-29 02:54:38 PM

PillsHere: I thought it was common knowledge they had a 5 year contract where he needed a beard and she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant. Although I've heard that she broke up with Chris because he had a drinking problem, but then I heard he broke up with her because he didn't want to be a dad. Anyway, Tom and Katie had the same publicist or agent or something who thought they could fulfill each other's needs. Chris Klein has almost the similar features to both of them so it wouldn't be suspicious.

//Don't really know anything, but that was always the speculation by most people. Most people seemed to at least know the 5 year contract part which has turned out to be true or at least this is highly coincidental. In the least we knew they would split before 10 years like he did with Nicole because once they hit 10 years in CA, she gets significantly more money regardless of a pre-nup (or so I've heard). I believe he filed for divorce from Nicole at almost exactly 10 years, but got in right under the wire.

//Why am I writing all this because I don't give a crap about any of them?


The real question is, why do you KNOW all this when you don't give a crap about any of them?

I ask my self the same question, almost daily....
 
2012-06-29 02:54:46 PM

Magnanimous_J: If you didn't fall in love with her after GO!, then I don't know what to tell you.



Katie's part in Wonder Boys got me hooked.

images.quickblogcast.com
 
2012-06-29 02:54:56 PM

Jackpot777: [pics.celebritycarsblog.com image 450x378]

R.I.P SHERLOCK HOLMES AND HIS FABULOUS CRUISE

...I got nothin'...


What the fark are wrong with his feet? They look like they were run over with that car.
 
2012-06-29 02:55:17 PM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?


img94.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 02:55:35 PM
i96.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-29 02:55:41 PM
I'm not that impressed with the headline.

/just saying
 
2012-06-29 02:55:54 PM
Johnny Depp & Tom Cruise single at the same time?

Is there a Pride parade in Beverly Hills coming up?
 
2012-06-29 02:55:55 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


She has served her part in the Bene Scientologists master to plan to create the Kwizatch Hubbarderach. She was obedient and birthed a girl child who can be wed to a Harkonnen heir .
 
2012-06-29 02:57:19 PM

Julieahni: I'm not that impressed with the headline.

/just saying



Me either.
-1 Subby. old stale joke is old & stale.
 
2012-06-29 02:57:26 PM
She's got some hangers and she's rather antlery but still there's something about her. Good for you Katie.
 
2012-06-29 02:57:42 PM
Could care less about him (or anyone else) being gay, just find the whole COS thing repulsive and deceptive in the extreme.
/Mimi Rogers' comments about him after their divorce *did* seal the deal for me on the gayness thing, though
 
2012-06-29 02:58:27 PM
youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com



Has anyone posted this pic yet?
 
2012-06-29 02:59:02 PM

Magorn: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

She has served her part in the Bene Scientologists master to plan to create the Kwizatch Hubbarderach. She was obedient and birthed a girl child who can be wed to a Harkonnen heir .


are...are those things?... gesundheit?
 
2012-06-29 02:59:04 PM

llfennell: pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


Tom is a TOOL of the Scientology CULT.
Katie was suckered into it after Tom interviewed starlets to join his Xenu Squad III.


You've been here far too long to fall for that.

/ ten Fark demerits
 
2012-06-29 02:59:07 PM

Posh Naranek: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

[img94.imageshack.us image 550x540]


She was in SeaQuest?

Or are you thinking of Flipper?
 
2012-06-29 02:59:09 PM

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: him and eddie murphy should just totally date.


Eddie Murphy is NOT gay. He was just being helpful when he picked up the stranger that night. He'd do it for you, too.
 
2012-06-29 02:59:31 PM
I would love to hear the anal joke that didn't make the cut
 
2012-06-29 03:00:58 PM

FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.


Hate to jump on it!....but good one subby!
 
2012-06-29 03:00:58 PM
I'm a publicist for Beards.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 03:01:10 PM

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.


QFT. As a straight chick, I would just like to say to all the closeted gay male movie stars out there who are no doubt reading this and hanging on every word I write: We don't care that you're gay. Really. It's not as if we are going to get to sleep with any of you good looking men-on-film, straight or otherwise, anyway. Our fantasy lives already have to be incredibly elaborate in order for us to achieve a convincing daydream about you--bracketing your gayness is no big deal.

Now, on the other hand, watching you take a gorgeous woman like Katie Holmes and reduce her to a sallow wraith with your web of deception and control--that kind of kills my clit boner. Just FYI.
 
2012-06-29 03:01:18 PM
Just saw this article on another site and thought, I should submit this as "Tom Cruise shaves his beard."

/CSB
//Dejected when I saw a nearly identical headline on the main page
///Good job subby
 
2012-06-29 03:01:21 PM

Leeds: Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.

Dude. It's not cool to make fun of the blind.


Don't judge me. One side comes down and the other gets stuck and stays in place. It's like it's saying: "look at me. I'm some fancy lady's giant opera fan". Fuk that thing, it deserves the ridicule.
 
2012-06-29 03:01:23 PM
img256.imageshack.us

/guess she can stand back up now
 
2012-06-29 03:01:37 PM

hdhale: See, the essential problem is this...Harris is gay, he's ok with it, we move on and so does he. People like Travolta and Cruise are at least bisexual, not ok with it for a variety of reasons which is why they got hooked up with a cult to begin with, and we constantly make jokes about them, forbidding them from moving on, so they stay closeted.


Straight or Gay, and everything inbetween, at some point you have to become comfortable with who you are. They have certainly become comfortable with this manufactured image of themselves, but let the inside slowly rot away.

It's just really farking hard to shut out the world and carry on without letting it get to you when your whole life is on display for the world to pick apart.

.

..

...

Back to the gay jokes? The more we all laugh, the less we all truly care about the pointless outrage over two dudes / girls loving each other.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-29 03:01:38 PM
Best and worst 50th birthday present ever.
 
2012-06-29 03:01:38 PM

Magorn: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

She has served her part in the Bene Scientologists master to plan to create the Kwizatch Hubbarderach. She was obedient and birthed a girl child who can be wed to a Harkonnen heir .


Excellent...approaching brilliant.
 
2012-06-29 03:02:11 PM
Lack of Katie pics is disturbing
 
2012-06-29 03:02:22 PM

GT_bike: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

Does some Nascar driver sponsored by McD's go out and say he prefers 5 Guys?

Cruise may prefer 5 Guys but he needs women to believe in the illusion that they are up to the Impossible Mission of getting at his Top Gun because he actually might want them.


That's not really so much the case anymore. Matt Bomer's entire career is based on being hot and looking good with his shirt off, and his post-coming out White Collar ratings are as good as they've always been even though that show relies heavily on Bomer's character's ability to charm women.
 
2012-06-29 03:02:40 PM

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


You forgot to call us glib.
 
2012-06-29 03:02:56 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.

That is an AWESOME Captain Hook costume


Ssure he's famous and can dress in full costume at Disney but that fat tinkerbell chick in Florida is required to change clothes?
 
2012-06-29 03:03:07 PM
Third strike and you're out [of the closet.]
 
2012-06-29 03:05:37 PM
The real problem with Cruise isn't that he's a self-loathing, middle-aged, dwarfish closeted gay man.

He's a control freak. Pure narcissist. Scary, even by Hollywood standards. I suspect his character from Tropic Thunder is more like him than any other he's ever played.
 
2012-06-29 03:06:35 PM

llfennell: pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


Tom is a TOOL of the Scientology CULT.
Katie was suckered into it after Tom interviewed starlets to join his Xenu Squad III.


Are you new?
 
2012-06-29 03:06:54 PM

Unhip1: Not everything's a "meme."


Cool... that's a new meme.
 
2012-06-29 03:07:49 PM
Along with not enjoying the headline (been there, done that), I never understood the hate for Tom Cruise. So, he's nutty. Who cares?

/But, what do I know ?
 
2012-06-29 03:07:54 PM
thegboatdotnet.files.wordpress.com

what is our purpose in life?
to KILL
 
2012-06-29 03:08:39 PM
Praise Cheesus:
Now, because Katie actually filed the petition of dissolution, shouldn't the headline have been "Beard shaves Tom Cruise"?

What a country!

www.bestoftimestravel.com

No, seriously, what a country. *sigh*
 
2012-06-29 03:08:50 PM

Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."


images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-06-29 03:09:27 PM
I guess Katie refused to squeeze out any more Bouncing Baby Scientologists
 
2012-06-29 03:09:27 PM
Well at least now him and Travolta can date.
 
2012-06-29 03:09:30 PM
She was cute until she got herpes from Tom.
 
2012-06-29 03:09:39 PM
I immediately thought of this bit from a Family Guy episode.

Katie free.

/Terrible quality on this video.
 
2012-06-29 03:10:02 PM

Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...


She's really hairy. Like a silverback
 
2012-06-29 03:10:18 PM

llfennell: From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.


This rumor has been floating around awhile (since they married). The fact that it's been 5 years and she's seeking a divorce seems to lend a little credence to the rumor.
 
2012-06-29 03:10:43 PM
encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-06-29 03:11:02 PM
Tom Cruise is in love with...Tom Cruise!
 
2012-06-29 03:11:56 PM

Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."


That's true. Milhouse, etc.

But my problem is that "meme" seems to have changed from "common, catchy idea" to "people putting different words on the same picture". So, fark that anyways.
 
2012-06-29 03:12:02 PM

Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)


Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.
 
2012-06-29 03:12:21 PM

Rawry: [encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 183x275]


Gah! What is that?
 
2012-06-29 03:12:24 PM

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Beard (companion)
 
2012-06-29 03:13:43 PM
If anyone wants to re-read the transcript of Tom Cruise losing his shiate about psychology- here it is: Matt Lauer schools Tom Cruise

There is some serious comedy gold in that douchbag's meltdown. :)

Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...
 
2012-06-29 03:14:41 PM
211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!
 
2012-06-29 03:15:45 PM

borg: Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)

Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.


It was actually just earlier this year that a court finally threw out a libel case on the grounds that calling somebody gay wasn't libel. My torts casebook from last year still included accusing someone of being homosexual as a libel tort.
 
2012-06-29 03:16:08 PM

gunther_bumpass: Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."

That's true. Milhouse, etc.

But my problem is that "meme" seems to have changed from "common, catchy idea" to "people putting different words on the same picture". So, fark that anyways.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-29 03:16:39 PM

borg: Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.


I am pretty sure he also sued in England where those cases go much better for the plaintiff.
 
2012-06-29 03:17:18 PM

Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)


You can sue for slander. You can't sue for racism.
 
2012-06-29 03:18:26 PM

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Aw, people keep giving you definitions, but here's how it works:

I have a friend I've known for years (since college) who's a research chemist for a VERY uptight Big Pharma company. She's gay. Every couple of months there's a function of some sort - a dinner, a reception for a visiting researcher, a ceremony, etc - and she's invited with a note to "bring someone."

Well, if she brought her partner, her asshole boss would probably stoke out. So I always go as her date. I'm presentable, I'm single, and I own a tux. So in return for pretending to be her boyfriend, I get to eat free food, drink free booze, and sometimes even go on overnights to DC or Atlanta. I'm her beard.

/best gig a guy could get
 
2012-06-29 03:18:28 PM

filter: He'll get over it. Any bets how soon he remarries?


To John Travolta?
 
2012-06-29 03:19:01 PM

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


So Michelle Bachmann is a "beard"?
 
2012-06-29 03:19:38 PM

Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...



Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.
 
2012-06-29 03:19:44 PM
He's ruined her for me.

/old and busted
 
2012-06-29 03:20:30 PM

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


I would think that a publicist would be able to write at higher than a 10th grade level.
 
2012-06-29 03:21:31 PM
I'm a publicist for ClosetMaid.com.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 03:22:40 PM

Snargi: Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...


Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.


Oddly enough, I can picture him singing:

"I... don't know how to looove him"
 
2012-06-29 03:23:01 PM

Lizard: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


I remember the comments section that post was first made in. That makes me feel both proud, and old. Sigh. You don't see it much anymore. When you do, it's only a line or two.
 
2012-06-29 03:24:16 PM

ringersol: NewsFlash because... Scientologists have something on Drew?EVERYONE!


FTFY
 
2012-06-29 03:24:18 PM
Katie Holmes doesn't understand the history of marriage.
 
2012-06-29 03:24:34 PM
Katie eliminates Cruise control

/better headline
//beard is overused
 
2012-06-29 03:24:39 PM
JackieRabbit



211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!



Bread and Circuses
 
2012-06-29 03:24:44 PM

llfennell: I submitted this with a similar headline, but simple wins.

From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.

She's been heading out in NYC with no makeup lately. Tom Cruise hates hates hates this. Her publicist called her to tell her that Tom was getting mad that her hag look was ruining his reputation and she laughed and said "Good!"

/blindgossip


Very succinct and 99% true.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:25 PM
Her father is a kick-ass divorce attorney. I suspect that any pre-nup and following legal stuff will be in her favor.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:28 PM

Leeds: Snargi: Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...


Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Oddly enough, I can picture him singing:

"I... don't know how to looove him"


Judas sang it too.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:41 PM

gremlin1: JackieRabbit



211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!


Bread Beard and Circuses


FTFY
 
2012-06-29 03:26:04 PM

kpaxoid: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

So Michelle Bachmann is a "beard"?


static.bf2s.com


I mean, honestly,:
hammeroftruth.com
 
2012-06-29 03:26:45 PM
How gay can he be? He did attend a Franciscan seminary and aspire to become a Catholic priest. Oh.... NEVERMIND
 
2012-06-29 03:27:11 PM

farkingnotworking: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

QFT. As a straight chick, I would just like to say to all the closeted gay male movie stars out there who are no doubt reading this and hanging on every word I write: We don't care that you're gay. Really. It's not as if we are going to get to sleep with any of you good looking men-on-film, straight or otherwise, anyway. Our fantasy lives already have to be incredibly elaborate in order for us to achieve a convincing daydream about you--bracketing your gayness is no big deal.

Now, on the other hand, watching you take a gorgeous woman like Katie Holmes and reduce her to a sallow wraith with your web of deception and control--that kind of kills my clit boner. Just FYI.


I am captimidated.
 
2012-06-29 03:28:13 PM
::flexes::

/subby
 
2012-06-29 03:30:29 PM
bookacruiseship.com

RIP CRUISE
 
2012-06-29 03:34:06 PM
blindgossip was ahead of the curve on this. I'll have to check them out a bit more when I get home.
 
2012-06-29 03:36:13 PM
She's got the career she married hiim for, she's got the kid to enable a long-term financial shakedown, now she can grab the homes and the $$$ and complete her plan.

There is nothing remotely surprising contained in this news.
 
2012-06-29 03:36:46 PM

Disposable Rob: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.


Technically, Scientology considers homosexuality on the same level of any other physical manifestation of past trauma (basically, it's all in your head and it can be audited out) be it this or a past life. And I mean that literally - I remember being told as a kid that needing glasses or being dyslexic (like Cruise is) was the same level of disorder as being gay, and not immoral or anything.

It's just that when someone starts bumping into poles after they should have been "cured", it's a lot easier to physically prove that someone still needs glasses, rather than they're still gay.

/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out
 
2012-06-29 03:37:42 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?



i116.photobucket.com
Apparently, her soul youth.
 
2012-06-29 03:41:01 PM
Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory
 
2012-06-29 03:41:09 PM

minorshan: Disposable Rob: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.

Technically, Scientology considers homosexuality on the same level of any other physical manifestation of past trauma (basically, it's all in your head and it can be audited out) be it this or a past life. And I mean that literally - I remember being told as a kid that needing glasses or being dyslexic (like Cruise is) was the same level of disorder as being gay, and not immoral or anything.

It's just that when someone starts bumping into poles after they should have been "cured", it's a lot easier to physically prove that someone still needs glasses, rather than they're still gay.

/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out


Glad you made it out as well as the whole family! The number of families torn apart by that "religion" is crazy. Institutionalized abuse is horrendous no matter how old that organization is.

/Hubbard was a hack
 
2012-06-29 03:42:30 PM

Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."


www.seinfeld-fan.net
 
2012-06-29 03:42:33 PM

SpectroBoy: [youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com image 600x450]


Has anyone posted this pic yet?


I was going to, but I have been trying to find out what the beard meme means.


/There's a gay guy named Buttknuckle in this thread.
 
2012-06-29 03:43:33 PM
Ha!

// It's funny cause he's tiny...

img444.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 03:43:49 PM
whirlwind romance and marriage = someone is getting boned up the butt.
I guess we all know who it was here.
 
2012-06-29 03:44:20 PM
I blame myself.
 
2012-06-29 03:44:54 PM
Run Baby Run. Run Far. Run Fast.
 
2012-06-29 03:45:09 PM

JuicePats: ::flexes::

/subby


Take a bow..

...but not in front of Tom Cruise, amirite?
 
2012-06-29 03:45:33 PM
I know it's been said, but damn good job subby.
 
2012-06-29 03:47:11 PM

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


Interesting speculation. She's been with Ryan Seacrest for a while, that contract ought to be up soon, and it would definitely raise her profile. However, if Cruise goes too young it's going to end up getting him a lot of backlash for being creepy, which might make him think twice about going with her.
 
2012-06-29 03:47:44 PM

cchris_39: Anybody know why when I click on certain articles they pop up over and over?


Scientology.
 
2012-06-29 03:48:57 PM
She has the precursor to that chin thing that combines with jowls to make old Eastern European woman face.
 
2012-06-29 03:49:09 PM
I am still at a loss as to how this is news flash material. Is the obvious tag broken? The headline is obvious, that's for sure. I wonder how many different people submitted that very same joke....

Anyway, I care as much about this as I do where TO is going to play football in the fall.
 
2012-06-29 03:49:42 PM
She can wear heels again!
 
2012-06-29 03:49:46 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: Subby should not have gotten rewarded for such low-hanging fruit*.


*like Tom Cruise.


Bravo. A short joke and a gay joke.
 
2012-06-29 03:50:30 PM

rynthetyn: Expolaris: rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.

Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).

Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

Aren't there lots of rumors about Vin Diesel?


So I've heard, and I don't care. He's good at what he does, and I still want to see his take on Hannibal. Wentworth Miller is supposed to be gay, too, and he does action *and* drama well. I don't care.

I like it when dudes are 'out', it's more honest than being like transexuals who try to fool people. The mainstream cinema needs more gay couples. And the bonus would be they'd be Real instead of all the Fake Ass Lipstick Lesbians out there.

So Tommy just needs to be out, be himself, still play roles he does well in instead of being pigeonholed like in the 90s like poor Rupert Everett.. times have changed... he can do whatever he wants, he has the Triple A star rating.

Actually, he needs to do more gray roles. He shines in those, instead of the goody goody bullshiat.

Then he needs to leave the Scientology scam behind. (Yeah, scam, not cult, SCAM.)

Come back to the light, Tommy! Follow Katie to freedom!
 
2012-06-29 03:54:45 PM

rynthetyn: Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory

Interesting speculation. She's been with Ryan Seacrest for a while, that contract ought to be up soon, and it would definitely raise her profile. However, if Cruise goes too young it's going to end up getting him a lot of backlash for being creepy, which might make him think twice about going with her.


I remember back in 2006 or whatever, hearing about the 5 year contract, and kind of laughed about it in an "wouldn't be surprised" kind way. But I didn't really think about much until now.

Reading your comments, I googled the two names, to see if it was possible that Cruise and the other chick were laying the groundwork for something- assuming this divorce wasn't exactly a surprise- and saw this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/julianne-hough-tom-cruise-la p -dance-rock-of-ages_n_1575422.html

"Rock of Ages" star Julianne Hough has a mad crush on her co-star Tom Cruise, and she is not exactly trying to hide it. The actress was on "LIVE! with Kelly" to discuss a scene that was so steamy, it had to be cut from the film.

"It was a little too hot and steamy and sexy, it will be on the director's cut, though ... Let's just say I'll always have that in my back pocket, that I gave Tom Cruise a lap dance," Hough said.

It's a shame, too, because Hough reportedly took her role as Sherrie Christian in "Rock of Ages" specifically for that lap dance. PopSugar caught up with the star at the Spike Guys' Choice Awards, where she gushed about Cruise.

"You have no idea, he is the sexiest thing I have seen, besides my boyfriend," she giggled. Hough and boyfriend Ryan Seacrest have been together for two years. He even faked a proposal on "American Idol" this year, much to viewing audiences' disappointment.


Oh, Hollywood. Yo so silly.
 
2012-06-29 03:59:22 PM
Normally women this attractive can date again. But having been a part of a brainwashing cult, she is damaged goods and no one but someone in that cult would value her.
 
2012-06-29 03:59:44 PM
Good for her.

Also ...

you are a puppet: Finally Chris Klein can see his kid?


LOL

What I want to know is: who is her replacement?

You know the cult wouldn't allow this to happen without the fresh beard waiting in the wings. A fellow cultist perhaps? Maybe Elisabeth Moss?
 
2012-06-29 04:00:04 PM
sure, after he's wrecked her mind and vagina.


what an asshole.
 
2012-06-29 04:00:14 PM
Just so you all know, a goatee is someone who marries a gay person... no wait, a goatee is someone who serves a gay person drinks..... no wait, thats a moustache. Van dyke, I mean van dyke.
Van dyke? Dyke? Hmm, maybe that's the beard, no, the opposite of a beard.
Crap, forget it.
 
2012-06-29 04:02:49 PM
If my calculations are correct, he only needs one more wife and two more children until his spaceship is fully operational.
 
2012-06-29 04:02:53 PM

AgentBang: Maybe he's going to finally stop running?

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


NEVER.
Have you seen the poster for his latest movie?

i865.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-29 04:03:22 PM

GreatGlavinsGhost:
You know the cult wouldn't allow this to happen without the fresh beard waiting in the wings. A fellow cultist perhaps? Maybe Elisabeth Moss?


Elizabeth Moss in Scientology?

Say it ain't so . . .
 
2012-06-29 04:06:24 PM

Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

blogs.babycenter.com

I love this picture of him and his family.


What's the use of having kids if you can't draw funny glasses on them with eyeliner? Funniest thing I've seen all week.

Plus, those kids are adorable chubmonsters. Everyone looks happy. Nice!

/teaching toddlers rude ditties is funny, too
 
2012-06-29 04:06:48 PM

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


A beard is what allows a woman to attend a stoning. Just remember never to utter "Jehovah!"
 
2012-06-29 04:07:13 PM

rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.


Yeah; I'm talking about the "above the title" last-name-is-all-you-need leading men.
 
2012-06-29 04:07:13 PM

bulok: WHY Katie? I've finally accepted that you and I could never be so I decided to have a child with my wife and now you DO THIS?! HOW COULD YOU?!


Her?



/she must be funny or something
 
2012-06-29 04:07:57 PM
How long until Kelly Preston finally has enough and kicks Travolta to the curb?
 
2012-06-29 04:08:01 PM

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


I like your theory better than my stab in the dark.
 
2012-06-29 04:08:59 PM

mjohnson71: rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.

Yeah; I'm talking about the "above the title" last-name-is-all-you-need leading men.


I think initials (NPH) is better than one last name.
 
2012-06-29 04:11:26 PM
Well I guess Tom will need to spend some time in the John to think about this turn of events.
 
2012-06-29 04:11:29 PM

llfennell: I submitted this with a similar headline, but simple wins.

From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.

She's been heading out in NYC with no makeup lately. Tom Cruise hates hates hates this. Her publicist called her to tell her that Tom was getting mad that her hag look was ruining his reputation and she laughed and said "Good!"

/blindgossip


I don't think that's completely true since the kid is Chris Klein's.
 
2012-06-29 04:12:29 PM

Coco LaFemme: How long until Kelly Preston finally has enough and kicks Travolta to the curb?



...and then Kelly and Katie could get together and everything would be all right.
 
2012-06-29 04:14:31 PM
If Mimi Rodgers and Nichole Kidman can't turn you straight, you're farking hopeless.

Katie is no slouch, but dear God, Mimi and Nichole are two of the most farkable women on the planet.
 
2012-06-29 04:15:44 PM

Julieahni: Katie eliminates Cruise control

/better headline
//beard is overused


So "beard" has "jumped the shark"? Gotcha.
 
2012-06-29 04:17:37 PM

spman: First John Travolta, now Tom Cruise, Xenu is going to be very displeased, quick feed him more money before he damages our thetans!


SCIENTOLOGY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
 
2012-06-29 04:18:10 PM
I want to thank all the farkers that brought out the classics from yesteryear. I also want to thank all the farkers who fell for them again.

my two cents on the subject:
How much more of awesome of a movie would "Thank you for Smoking" have been if Tom didn't curtail Katie's sex scenes. No longer "Dawson's Creek" age nor "Go" young, but Katie presented at a brand new mature woman age.
 
2012-06-29 04:18:23 PM
I'm a publicist for Suri Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 04:18:35 PM
I'm not gay, but NPH's husband is a good looking dude. Seriously not gay.


/gay

/dammit i mean not gay.
 
2012-06-29 04:20:14 PM

Expolaris: I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.


Niel Patrick Harris is much better at acting, period, than most "stars".
 
2012-06-29 04:22:49 PM
Tom is 50 and Katie is 33? Looks like Tom needs to find a woman closer to his own age...who has a penis.

/ Yeah, I said it.
// So sue the pants off me Tommy.
/// Maybe I should have rephrased that.
 
2012-06-29 04:23:26 PM

Crewmannumber6: pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

I would think that a publicist would be able to write at higher than a 10th grade level.


So this is what 10th grade education looks like now?
 
2012-06-29 04:24:17 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: rynthetyn: Expolaris: rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.

Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).

Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

Aren't there lots of rumors about Vin Diesel?

So I've heard, and I don't care. He's good at what he does, and I still want to see his take on Hannibal. Wentworth Miller is supposed to be gay, too, and he does action *and* drama well. I don't care.

I like it when dudes are 'out', it's more honest than being like transexuals who try to fool people. The mainstream cinema needs more gay couples. And the bonus would be they'd be Real instead of all the Fake Ass Lipstick Lesbians out there.

So Tommy just needs to be out, be himself, still play roles he does well in instead of being pigeonholed like in the 90s like poor Rupert Everett.. times have changed... he can do whatever he wants, he has the Triple A star rating.

Actually, he needs to do more gray roles. He shines i ...


Vin Diesel is one of those guys who is clearly a lot smarter than a lot of his roles let on, and yeah, I would like to see his version of Hannibal too. Hollywood needs to let him do more of the nerdy projects that he seems to really be interested in.

I think that as much as Rupert Everett likes to insist that it's being out that killed his career, he needs to fess up that he did more to hurt his own career by being a general ass and not being a good enough actor that after he started losing his looks people were willing to put up with his being an ass. I'm sure being out hurt him some, but people probably would have been more willing to overlook that if he hadn't developed a reputation of being terrible to work with.

In any case, this is a different era than even a decade ago, as evidenced by the near total non-news of various actors coming out over the last few months. Nobody really seems to care anymore, even with actors coming out while their careers are on their way up. If Tom Cruise or John Travolta ever did come out, it would of course still be news because of all of the past history and everything, but a good publicist can spin even the bearding by painting them as victims of a less tolerant era. Even Travolta with his pervyness could end up getting an image boost and having everyone feeling sorry for him rather than repulsed by his masseuse antics if it's done right.

I just can't imagine what it would be like to go your entire career putting on an act and living a lie in order to stay in the closet. The closet is a horrible place to be and to live like that long term is enough to make you as batshiat crazy as Tom Cruise is.
 
2012-06-29 04:25:22 PM

Brother_Mouzone: I'm not gay, but NPH's husband is a good looking dude. Seriously not gay.


/gay

/dammit i mean not gay.


Go ahead, be as gay as you want. It's cool. I encourage more gay guys to come out and have hot gay sex.

Real straight men aren't threatened by gay guys... they realize that if 2 dudes are farking each other that means there are 2 more available women in the dating pool. And if those women are farking each other too, that's totally not a problem either.
 
2012-06-29 04:25:53 PM

PillsHere: I thought it was common knowledge they had a 5 year contract where he needed a beard and she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant. Although I've heard that she broke up with Chris because he had a drinking problem, but then I heard he broke up with her because he didn't want to be a dad. Anyway, Tom and Katie had the same publicist or agent or something who thought they could fulfill each other's needs. Chris Klein has almost the similar features to both of them so it wouldn't be suspicious.

//Don't really know anything, but that was always the speculation by most people. Most people seemed to at least know the 5 year contract part which has turned out to be true or at least this is highly coincidental. In the least we knew they would split before 10 years like he did with Nicole because once they hit 10 years in CA, she gets significantly more money regardless of a pre-nup (or so I've heard). I believe he filed for divorce from Nicole at almost exactly 10 years, but got in right under the wire.

//Why am I writing all this because I don't give a crap about any of them?


I thought she left Klein because she wanted to protect her "virginal" image. By getting married to a gay man, she could keep the kid and preserve her image. Klein started drinking after he was informed of the arrangement.
 
2012-06-29 04:26:50 PM

farkingnotworking: QFT. As a straight chick, I would just like to say to all the closeted gay male movie stars out there who are no doubt reading this and hanging on every word I write: We don't care that you're gay. Really. It's not as if we are going to get to sleep with any of you good looking men-on-film, straight or otherwise, anyway. Our fantasy lives already have to be incredibly elaborate in order for us to achieve a convincing daydream about you--bracketing your gayness is no big deal.

Now, on the other hand, watching you take a gorgeous woman like Katie Holmes and reduce her to a sallow wraith with your web of deception and control--that kind of kills my clit boner. Just FYI.


O_o
woah
 
2012-06-29 04:28:05 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


Well lets see, he's got crotchfruit with penelope cruz, 2 with nicole kidman, and one with katie holmes.

/motherf*cker can't beat my record though
 
2012-06-29 04:31:57 PM

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


Came for this, leaving satisfied.
 
2012-06-29 04:32:27 PM

Jon Snow: rynthetyn: Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory

Interesting speculation. She's been with Ryan Seacrest for a while, that contract ought to be up soon, and it would definitely raise her profile. However, if Cruise goes too young it's going to end up getting him a lot of backlash for being creepy, which might make him think twice about going with her.

I remember back in 2006 or whatever, hearing about the 5 year contract, and kind of laughed about it in an "wouldn't be surprised" kind way. But I didn't really think about much until now.

Reading your comments, I googled the two names, to see if it was possible that Cruise and the other chick were laying the groundwork for something- assuming this divorce wasn't exactly a surprise- and saw this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/julianne-hough-tom-cruise-la p -dance-rock-of-ages_n_1575422.html

"Rock of Ages" star Julianne Hough has a mad crush on her co-star Tom Cruise, and she is not exactly trying to hide it. The actress was on "LIVE! with Kelly" to discuss a scene that was so steamy, it had to be cut from the film.

"It was a little too hot and steamy and sexy, it will be on the director's cut, though ... Let's just say I'll always have that in my back pocket, that I gave Tom Cruise a lap dance," Hough said.

It's a shame, too, because Hough reportedly took her role as Sherrie Christian in "Rock of Ages" specifically for that lap dance. PopSugar caught up with the star at the Spike Guys' Choice Awards, where she gushed about Cruise.

"You have no idea, he is the sexiest thing I have seen, besides my boyfr ...


Oooh, interesting, that certainly does look like an example of laying the groundwork for them to get together. I guess if she and Seacrest break up soon, it's only a matter of time before she ends up the new Mrs. Cruise.
 
2012-06-29 04:32:38 PM

squealie: Could care less about him (or anyone else) being gay, just find the whole COS thing repulsive and deceptive in the extreme.
/Mimi Rogers' comments about him after their divorce *did* seal the deal for me on the gayness thing, though


Do tell.
 
2012-06-29 04:34:47 PM
One of my favorite Adam Carolla stories is when Jimmy Kimmel invited Tom to watch football on Sunday and Tom showed up with his Mom and cupcakes. Yeah, he's totally straight.

/GET IT ON!
 
2012-06-29 04:35:57 PM

wraithmare: minorshan:
/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out

Glad you made it out as well as the whole family! The number of families torn apart by that "religion" is crazy. Institutionalized abuse is horrendous no matter how old that organization is.

/Hubbard was a hack


Yes. Thankfully, despite being ministers, my folks never made enough money to get any farther than clear and told me and my brother that we could be any religion we wanted. In the end they were suckered in in the late 70s because the educational system and their dysfunctional families had failed them and they were looking for answers. Luckily, my mom was always skeptical of the Sea Org, and thought a million year contract was ridiculously excessive even when she believed it to be possible, and kept us kids at a long arms length from those kinds of things.

But when I fooled an E-Meter at age 8 (lied that I had learned anything from a course, because I didn't want to have to go to any more sessions) it kinda damaged the foundation that any later belief as a young adult would need. Which is probably why I thought who cares about a million year contract? How are they gonna know who I am after I've reincarnated? Suckers!

My folks are in the process of getting the $5k they had invested/saved with the COS. Once that's done, every last tie will have been severed. Well, except friends still in the COS, but I guess the Santa Barbara chapter was laid back because they still talk to my folks and no ones been declared an SP or anything.
 
2012-06-29 04:36:10 PM

shastacola: A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Nowadays it is almost always used with a homosexual connotation, but it didn't start that way.

Back in the 1920s, the for a marriage as a cover for someone's homosexuality term was lavender marriage. Rock Hudson is probably the most famous example.

The 1990 movie Green Card had a plot with two heterosexuals who enter a sham marriage. I guess "beard" could apply to that as well.
 
2012-06-29 04:38:57 PM
Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie
At least all his people tell him so
And while he thinks that she's a very special lady
It's probably not the way he'd choose to go

But a lifetime of longing looks would cause too much distraction
Good thing that he's not gay anymore

Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
Just be glad it's him, not you
If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too
You'd flash your big white shiny smile
And buy expensive shoes
But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise
 
2012-06-29 04:39:22 PM

WarningMayContainPeanuts: One of my favorite Adam Carolla stories is when Jimmy Kimmel invited Tom to watch football on Sunday and Tom showed up with his Mom and cupcakes. Yeah, he's totally straight.

/GET IT ON!


For reals? That sounds like an elementary school play date.
 
2012-06-29 04:40:00 PM

Snargi: Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...


Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.


That's hilarious.
 
2012-06-29 04:40:23 PM
Guess she wasn't clear on things.
 
2012-06-29 04:41:37 PM
I'm a publicist for Narnia.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 04:41:42 PM

rynthetyn: Vin Diesel is one of those guys who is clearly a lot smarter than a lot of his roles let on, and yeah, I would like to see his version of Hannibal too. Hollywood needs to let him do more of the nerdy projects that he seems to really be interested in.


That's why i love him. He's the nerdy DND kid who picked up an interest in fitness later in life. He's geek to the core wrapped in a hell of an exterior. Listen to him talk about tabletop games, or comic books, you can hear the passion behind every word.

His work is often shameless, campy, but fun. And he knows it, and he revels in it.

www.exclaim.ca
/i always knew there was a reason i loved this movie.

He can fark dudes all day, every day for all i care, it seems to be working for him.

//just had to post this one too
us6.memecdn.com
 
2012-06-29 04:42:20 PM

minorshan: wraithmare: minorshan:
/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out

Glad you made it out as well as the whole family! The number of families torn apart by that "religion" is crazy. Institutionalized abuse is horrendous no matter how old that organization is.

/Hubbard was a hack

Yes. Thankfully, despite being ministers, my folks never made enough money to get any farther than clear and told me and my brother that we could be any religion we wanted. In the end they were suckered in in the late 70s because the educational system and their dysfunctional families had failed them and they were looking for answers. Luckily, my mom was always skeptical of the Sea Org, and thought a million year contract was ridiculously excessive even when she believed it to be possible, and kept us kids at a long arms length from those kinds of things.

But when I fooled an E-Meter at age 8 (lied that I had learned anything from a course, because I didn't want to have to go to any more sessions) it kinda damaged the foundation that any later belief as a young adult would need. Which is probably why I thought who cares about a million year contract? How are they gonna know who I am after I've reincarnated? Suckers!

My folks are in the process of getting the $5k they had invested/saved with the COS. Once that's done, every last tie will have been severed. Well, except friends still in the COS, but I guess the Santa Barbara chapter was laid back because they still talk to my folks and no ones been declared an SP or anything.


Sorry to break it to you, but cults don't give refunds.

Also, water is wet.
 
2012-06-29 04:43:22 PM
dammit you guys that was my damn headline!!!

/damn
 
2012-06-29 04:44:05 PM

rynthetyn: Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.


But Spock isn't a romantic action hero, or a human male. It's about being sexual - Ian McKellen is, arguably, the biggest gay action actor ever, having played Magneto and Gandalf, but neither are sexual characters. You could probably have Professor X played by a gay character.

But I doubt you'll have a gay Kirk or a gay Han Solo anytime soon.
 
2012-06-29 04:44:10 PM

ciberido: shastacola: A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?

Nowadays it is almost always used with a homosexual connotation, but it didn't start that way.

Back in the 1920s, the for a marriage as a cover for someone's homosexuality term was lavender marriage. Rock Hudson is probably the most famous example.

The 1990 movie Green Card had a plot with two heterosexuals who enter a sham marriage. I guess "beard" could apply to that as well.


It's used in Woody Allen's "Braodway Danny Rose" only it refers to him being the date to his married client's girlfriend. Does that sentence make sense?
 
2012-06-29 04:44:14 PM

H31N0US: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

[images.eonline.com image 300x300]

Me too.


www.geekosystem.com
 
2012-06-29 04:45:17 PM

Somacandra: I prefer the shooped one on the left.


*shakes tiny fist in rage*
 
2012-06-29 04:46:01 PM
Nice work, subby. Sea org going crazy; passing memos, digging-up dirt, lol.
 
2012-06-29 04:47:25 PM

ph0rk: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


[i116.photobucket.com image 210x262]
Apparently, her soul youth.


Back when, yeah. Now, post Cruise, probably not enough beer.
 
2012-06-29 04:48:16 PM

CheneyPepperedMe: Somacandra: Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES

I thought I remembered reading that the story was that when she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks and they conveniently changed it to be Tom Cruise. Also, something about having a Tom Hanks poster in her room.


Oh dude, you just made my day! LMAO! ....tears.

I love this thread so much.
 
2012-06-29 04:48:21 PM

OldManDownDRoad: GreatGlavinsGhost:
You know the cult wouldn't allow this to happen without the fresh beard waiting in the wings. A fellow cultist perhaps? Maybe Elisabeth Moss?

Elizabeth Moss in Scientology?

Say it ain't so . . .


Sorry. It is.
 
2012-06-29 04:50:19 PM

AirborneBuckeye: How gay can he be? He did attend a Franciscan seminary and aspire to become a Catholic priest. Oh.... NEVERMIND


Actually I was there with him and I can say without a doubt there was no ass boning that I witnessed the entire week. - seriously
 
2012-06-29 04:51:23 PM

weaklingrecords: But *she* filed for divorce. So it's more that Tom Cruise's beard "fell off" or "left" or "filed for divorce" rather than Tom actually doing anything, right?

/I know, welcome to fark.jpg


Its like the headline I tried to use: "Katie Holmes finds a hole in security, makes a run for it"
 
2012-06-29 04:52:20 PM

GreatGlavinsGhost: OldManDownDRoad: GreatGlavinsGhost:
You know the cult wouldn't allow this to happen without the fresh beard waiting in the wings. A fellow cultist perhaps? Maybe Elisabeth Moss?

Elizabeth Moss in Scientology?

Say it ain't so . . .

Sorry. It is.


Sigh.

Guess that explains why Peggy was farking Duck Phillips.
 
2012-06-29 04:52:28 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

i47.tinypic.com

And NSFW

Remembering the hotness.
 
2012-06-29 04:53:46 PM

farkeruk: rynthetyn: Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

But Spock isn't a romantic action hero, or a human male. It's about being sexual - Ian McKellen is, arguably, the biggest gay action actor ever, having played Magneto and Gandalf, but neither are sexual characters. You could probably have Professor X played by a gay character.

But I doubt you'll have a gay Kirk or a gay Han Solo anytime soon.


Are you kidding me? Have you SEEN the Kirk/Spock slash out there?

I mean, um ... I've heard that there's some.
 
2012-06-29 04:54:00 PM

Expolaris: That's why i love him. He's the nerdy DND kid who picked up an interest in fitness later in life. He's geek to the core wrapped in a hell of an exterior. Listen to him talk about tabletop games, or comic books, you can hear the passion behind every word.


Apparantly, Vin Diesel once played D&D with Judi Dench and Karl Urban.

If there's one moment of behind the scenes footage I want to see, it's that.
 
2012-06-29 04:54:09 PM

Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.


Gosh darn his husband is so hot. I mean, yeah, he is too, but Mr. B is awesome.
 
2012-06-29 04:55:02 PM

farkeruk: rynthetyn: Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

But Spock isn't a romantic action hero, or a human male. It's about being sexual - Ian McKellen is, arguably, the biggest gay action actor ever, having played Magneto and Gandalf, but neither are sexual characters. You could probably have Professor X played by a gay character.

But I doubt you'll have a gay Kirk or a gay Han Solo anytime soon.


gusgreeper.com
 
2012-06-29 04:56:12 PM

farkeruk: rynthetyn: Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

But Spock isn't a romantic action hero, or a human male. It's about being sexual - Ian McKellen is, arguably, the biggest gay action actor ever, having played Magneto and Gandalf, but neither are sexual characters. You could probably have Professor X played by a gay character.

But I doubt you'll have a gay Kirk or a gay Han Solo anytime soon.


You're forgetting that the J.J. Abrams version has the romantic Spock and Uhura angle. For better or worse, Abrams turned Spock into the romantic action hero who does dramatic action-y stuff and gets the girl, and Quinto had to sell the idea that underneath the cool logical exterior Spock had this deep burning passion for Uhura; If Quinto hadn't been able to pull off the love story angle the movie would have been panned on the grounds that Spock and Uhura together was laughable and stretched suspension of disbelief to its breaking point.
 
2012-06-29 04:57:48 PM

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.


Is it 1985 where you are?
 
2012-06-29 04:59:49 PM
If Tom stays in the closet can someone tell Elle Fanning that she's on deck now?
 
2012-06-29 04:59:50 PM

mjohnson71:
So "beard" has "jumped the shark"? Gotcha.


I'm Tom Cruise
I'm Tom Cruise
Suck my diiiick
If you're a dude
.jpg
 
2012-06-29 05:00:45 PM

farkeruk: Expolaris: That's why i love him. He's the nerdy DND kid who picked up an interest in fitness later in life. He's geek to the core wrapped in a hell of an exterior. Listen to him talk about tabletop games, or comic books, you can hear the passion behind every word.

Apparantly, Vin Diesel once played D&D with Judi Dench and Karl Urban.

If there's one moment of behind the scenes footage I want to see, it's that.


Holy crap that's about the awesomely nerdiest thing ever.
 
2012-06-29 05:03:17 PM

clyph: Brother_Mouzone: I'm not gay, but NPH's husband is a good looking dude. Seriously not gay.


/gay

/dammit i mean not gay.

Go ahead, be as gay as you want. It's cool. I encourage more gay guys to come out and have hot gay sex.

Real straight men aren't threatened by gay guys... they realize that if 2 dudes are farking each other that means there are 2 more available women in the dating pool. And if those women are farking each other too, that's totally not a problem either.


l-userpic.livejournal.com
 
2012-06-29 05:04:27 PM

towatchoverme: The real problem with Cruise isn't that he's a self-loathing, middle-aged, dwarfish closeted gay man.

He's a control freak. Pure narcissist. Scary, even by Hollywood standards. I suspect his character from Tropic Thunder is more like him than any other he's ever played.


This first paragraph of THIS movie review captures your comment perfectly...

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/movies/good-old-badhair-days-2012 0 614-20b2t.html

FTFA: Tom Cruise should play nothing but egomaniacs. They encourage him to commune with his sense of humour, which otherwise lies dormant, subsumed by his urge to be the hero and show how well he can run, jump, scale tall buildings and hurl himself off them again.
 
2012-06-29 05:07:53 PM
I'm a publicist for Bullwinkle J. Moose.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you don't know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you don't know about the topic....Don't make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers believe anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 05:09:03 PM
www.virginmedia.com
 
2012-06-29 05:13:19 PM

Somacandra: llfennell: with Scientology handlers finding ways to plant influence in her life, will make the remainder of Katie's motherhood quite simply, a living hell.

[i.imgur.com image 439x226]

Wow. Sounds like you need some reassessment of your ARC triangle.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-29 05:14:35 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 632x800]

[i47.tinypic.com image 640x846]

And NSFW

Remembering the hotness.


Never did much for me. Always thought her farking head was too big for her body and didn't think that much of her body.
 
2012-06-29 05:14:47 PM

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


I always figured that Ryan was really dating her brother, Derek, and that Ryan was just using her as a cover so they could spend time together.

/Why do I care about this crap?
//Wishes no one felt like they had to stay in the closet.
 
2012-06-29 05:15:44 PM

Leeds: minorshan: wraithmare: minorshan:

My folks are in the process of getting the $5k they had invested/saved with the COS. Once that's done, every last tie will have been severed. Well, except friends still in the COS, but I guess the Santa Barbara chapter was laid back because they still talk to my folks and no ones been declared an SP or anything.

Sorry to break it to you, but cults don't give refunds.

Also, water is wet.


That was my thought at first as well. Turns out there are ways, and they've done their research. This does, in fact, happen all the time. It also helps that they never formally declared their 'departure'. Not saying it won't take some time, but if you know how to work the system, you'd be surprised what you can finagle.

Like someone said above - it's more scam than cult, especially at the pre-OT stages,
 
2012-06-29 05:16:18 PM

rynthetyn: farkeruk: rynthetyn: Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

But Spock isn't a romantic action hero, or a human male. It's about being sexual - Ian McKellen is, arguably, the biggest gay action actor ever, having played Magneto and Gandalf, but neither are sexual characters. You could probably have Professor X played by a gay character.

But I doubt you'll have a gay Kirk or a gay Han Solo anytime soon.



You're forgetting that the J.J. Abrams version has the romantic Spock and Uhura angle. For better or worse, Abrams turned Spock into the romantic action hero who does dramatic action-y stuff and gets the girl, and Quinto had to sell the idea that underneath the cool logical exterior Spock had this deep burning passion for Uhura; If Quinto hadn't been able to pull off the love story angle the movie would have been panned on the grounds that Spock and Uhura together was laughable and stretched suspension of disbelief to its breaking point.


The problem is, Quinto didn't pull off the love story angle. I watched the film for the second time only a week ago and while I suppose having Uhura attracted to Spock isn't all that different from having Nurse Chapel attracted to him, as she was in the original series, having Spock return the feeling just didn't work at all.

Of course, almost nothing in that film really worked--it was just as awful on the second viewing as the first, if not worse.

(I apologize for this brief Trek nerd interruption of your Cruise/Holmes thread.)
 
2012-06-29 05:18:32 PM
I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!
 
2012-06-29 05:18:38 PM

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


and that's where the beard style 'Van Dyke' comes from.
 
2012-06-29 05:25:26 PM

farkeruk: You could probably have Professor X played by a gay character


There's plenty of Professor X/Magneto slash fanfic out there, if you care to look. Hell, it's probably the #2 fanfic coupling after Kirk/Spock.

Anyhow, it isn't canon that they're ex-lovers, but you could make a strong case that it's implied. It definitely explains the nature and intensity of their rivalry.
 
2012-06-29 05:30:03 PM

zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!


I remember her having the kid shortly after the marriage to Miss Cruise, and that she married Cruise about two months after meeting him.

It was a marriage of convenience for both of them.
 
2012-06-29 05:30:31 PM

ciberido: Are you kidding me? Have you SEEN the Kirk/Spock slash out there?

I mean, um ... I've heard that there's some.



If you've been in fandom for any length of time and NOT stumbled upon slash, you've been hiding your head under a rock. You don't have to read it to be aware of it's existence. Or to make fun of the people who write it.
 
2012-06-29 05:30:34 PM

HI-FYE: Coco LaFemme: How long until Kelly Preston finally has enough and kicks Travolta to the curb?


...and then Kelly and Katie could get together and everything would be all right.


Kelly's licking Kirstie... or so it's claimed.
 
2012-06-29 05:32:16 PM

TastyEloi: Of course, almost nothing in that film really worked--it was just as awful on the second viewing as the first, if not worse.


There was no Trek reboot.
There was no Trek reboot.
There was no Trek reboot.

/and Han shot first
 
2012-06-29 05:39:36 PM
Obviously, the reason for Cruise and Holmes' divorce is not out yet.
 
2012-06-29 05:42:13 PM

dotSylvia: Obviously, the reason for Cruise and Holmes' divorce is not out yet.


Ok, you know that thing? The one you just did? Yeah, right there, that one. I saw it.
 
2012-06-29 05:42:50 PM

Lizard: Old school! :)


Old school, yes, but we used to wait for trolls to bite before giving away the memes. Do you know how many new people don't know these things? It makes for great reading.
 
2012-06-29 05:42:54 PM
more like *Beard Shaves Tom Cruise*
(if that hasn't been mentioned yet)
 
2012-06-29 05:43:45 PM

All Latest: He has already been spotted with his new girlfriend:

[pub.tv2.no image 640x359]


Holy shiat, someone sun-dried Ron Perlman.
 
2012-06-29 05:51:01 PM

GreatGlavinsGhost: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

I remember her having the kid shortly after the marriage to Miss Cruise, and that she married Cruise about two months after meeting him.

It was a marriage of convenience for both of them.


*thinks back*
Wasn't there a span of time before they showed off pics of Suri? Or am I thinking of someone else?
 
2012-06-29 05:51:47 PM
Big surprise.

All three of those people are bat-shiat crazy. Tom is the supreme alien leader, of course, but Suri is farked up just being there.
 
2012-06-29 05:52:30 PM
Link

Really? No one?

Jeez, slackers.
 
2012-06-29 05:53:55 PM

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

So you live in Colorado but work for 42 West in NY, riiiiight, go spray some water on your house.
I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

 
2012-06-29 05:53:59 PM

JuicePats: ::flexes::

/subby


Just look at what you have wrought. Look. At. It.

tvrecappersanonymous.files.wordpress.com

sadventurez.files.wordpress.com

funnypicsofanything.com

/also got nada so why not crazy pics?
//liked him in "Tropic Thunder"
 
2012-06-29 05:54:10 PM

bluorangefyre: Its like the headline I tried to use: "Katie Holmes finds a hole in security, makes a run for it"


Family Guy did it.
 
2012-06-29 05:55:44 PM

zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!


Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.
 
2012-06-29 05:59:06 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.


How do you know all this?
 
2012-06-29 06:02:36 PM

WhoGAS: Lizard: Old school! :)

Old school, yes, but we used to wait for trolls to bite before giving away the memes. Do you know how many new people don't know these things? It makes for great reading.


The slow ones are still biting.
 
2012-06-29 06:03:42 PM

zomega: GreatGlavinsGhost: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

I remember her having the kid shortly after the marriage to Miss Cruise, and that she married Cruise about two months after meeting him.

It was a marriage of convenience for both of them.

*thinks back*
Wasn't there a span of time before they showed off pics of Suri? Or am I thinking of someone else?


Yeah and they milked it for all it was worth even going so far as selling to the highest bidder (People mag). Nevertheless, before the kid was born, if one looked at the timeline alone, Miss Cruise's paternity was questionable. If one also considered the kid's resemblance to Klein, Cruise's becomes highly doubtful.

Now, if someone gets some of the kid's DNA ...
 
2012-06-29 06:06:29 PM

miss diminutive: ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.

How do you know all this?


He's Josh Hartnett's publicist?
 
2012-06-29 06:07:28 PM

miss diminutive: ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.

How do you know all this?


I don't know shiat. I don't know these people. I remember the Chris Klein thing because his public comment about Katie's weight tore all the hotness away from him, and I used to think he was a hot piece of Asian-American ass. But he went there. There's loveable frat boy, then there's saying that about your lady. He crossed the line.

Tommy interviewing all those hoes only caught my attention because one of the hoes was a black chick. it's like noticing the black chick in the harem books of that Omar Sharif movie from the 80s, or the black chick in the bride book of The Last Emperor. Some shiat just sticks out. I was proud of hoes for being able to say 'no' to Scientology. I felt sad that Catholic Katie thought she could stick it out like Nicole did... but pictures after the fact showed just how rundown Scientology and the minders assigned to her wore Katie out.

Katie's pregnancy situation stuck out because the months were all wrong, and I totally bought that she had the baby, then wore a pregnancy suit to keep up certain illusions until the public timing was right. Then there was the (Vogue?) cover where alleged Suri looked too old to be her alleged age. Katie's alleged shenanigans with the pregnancy suit is why I never bought Beyonce's bullshiat this past year during the surrogacy of Blu Cantrell Ivy.

I don't know these people. All gossip is wrong. But there it is.
 
2012-06-29 06:07:33 PM

GreatGlavinsGhost: miss diminutive: ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.

How do you know all this?

He's Josh Hartnett's publicist?


He's Josh Hartnett?
 
2012-06-29 06:07:50 PM
Color me surprised
 
2012-06-29 06:10:26 PM
This is bad news... for Obama.
 
2012-06-29 06:18:09 PM
Over 360 comments for this? Damn.
 
2012-06-29 06:21:08 PM

NateAsbestos: So I don't follow Hollywood around much, but I never got the impression Tom Cruise was gay. Pants-shiattingly crazy, no doubt. But I never got a whiff of the gay

Then again I never saw Top Gun or Rock of Ages... *shrug*


Here is Quentin Taratino's opinion of Top Gun.
 
2012-06-29 06:25:23 PM

Apos: Over 360 comments for this? Damn.


I dunno, I did get to see her fun bags. So I have that going for me.
 
2012-06-29 06:26:52 PM

Tom Cruise's best role: marrying all these women. His second best role: Vincent from "Color of Money". His hair was perfect.


Katie, I'm off from work until 7/5 and I'll jump as many couches as you want if you call me.


files.g4tv.com

 
2012-06-29 06:31:25 PM
RUN Katie...run as fast as you can the other way!!!!
 
2012-06-29 06:34:29 PM
GreatGlavinsGhost He's Josh Hartnett's publicist?

Well, the Supreme Court ruled sounding legit is now a First Amendment Right...
 
2012-06-29 06:34:51 PM
Her all purdy...

scrapetv.com

orothon.com

wallpaper.celebritypc.com
 
2012-06-29 06:35:47 PM

rynthetyn: You're forgetting that the J.J. Abrams version has the romantic Spock and Uhura angle.


I'm trying to forget, as I expect the owners of the Star Trek franchise are doing.
However, Katie is hot, congrats on your escape, hottie!
 
2012-06-29 06:40:39 PM

Uptown Hipster Doofus: Her all purdy...

[scrapetv.com image 600x419]

[orothon.com image 500x731]

[wallpaper.celebritypc.com image 640x480]


LOL Tommy girl married that and didn't touch any of that LMAO ponder that. is that even possible?
 
2012-06-29 06:51:07 PM

rynthetyn: If the next Star Trek rakes in as much money as expected, Zachary Quinto will be well on his way to "major Hollywood action star" status


You mean as big as this guy: Superstars of the 60's
 
2012-06-29 06:51:31 PM

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


This needs bookmarked for future reference. If this happens before the year is out, somebody owes you a beer.

/not me, of course
//Hey, I'm on *your* side!
 
2012-06-29 06:53:47 PM
At least Tom has his other job...

static.guim.co.uk
 
2012-06-29 06:57:03 PM
Can someone tell me what the anal sex headline was?
 
2012-06-29 07:03:07 PM

Mrs.Sharpier: I'm a publicist for Katie Holmes.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


This message has been brought to you by the COS disinformation service.
 
2012-06-29 07:10:41 PM
Um, Katie, I'm interested in you and your farked up baggage, and I'm not even afraid of xenu, so, gimme a call or something sometime. Kids love me, and I won't let anyone fark with them, I promise. Even xenu. ;)
 
2012-06-29 07:14:59 PM

Indubitably: Um, Katie, I'm interested in you and your farked up baggage, and I'm not even afraid of xenu, so, gimme a call or something sometime. Kids love me, and I won't let anyone fark with them, I promise. Even xenu. ;)


Hey, I just met Xenu,
and Tom is crazy,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
 
TSD [TotalFark]
2012-06-29 07:19:30 PM
i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-29 07:22:25 PM

TSD: [i45.tinypic.com image 586x167]


BOOM...Roasted
 
2012-06-29 07:26:47 PM

llfennell: I submitted this with a similar headline, but simple wins.

From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.

She's been heading out in NYC with no makeup lately. Tom Cruise hates hates hates this. Her publicist called her to tell her that Tom was getting mad that her hag look was ruining his reputation and she laughed and said "Good!"

/blindgossip


Not kidding
 
2012-06-29 07:33:09 PM
Sad to say, I'd take ol' Tom anyway!

He's a cutie.
 
2012-06-29 07:46:56 PM

Jon Snow:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/julianne-hough-tom-cruise-la p -dance-rock-of-ages_n_1575422.html

"Rock of Ages" star Julianne Hough has a mad crush on her co-star Tom Cruise, and she is not exactly trying to hide it. The actress was on "LIVE! with Kelly" to discuss a scene that was so steamy, it had to be cut from the film.

"It was a little too hot and steamy and sexy, it will be on the director's cut, though ... Let's just say I'll always have that in my back pocket, that I gave Tom Cruise a lap dance," Hough said.

It's a shame, too, because Hough reportedly took her role as Sherrie Christian in "Rock of Ages" specifically for that lap dance. PopSugar caught up with the star at the Spike Guys' Choice Awards, where she gushed about Cruise.

"You have no idea, he is the sexiest thing I have seen, besides my boyfr ...


Wow. I thought acting was something you did for a certain number of hours during the day and then stopped to take back your real life for a while.

These Hollywood types are pretty committed to being 100% fake 24/7. I understand the desire to "get ahead", but this craziness is something I can't fathom.

/square
//old-fashioned
///slashie
 
2012-06-29 07:56:44 PM
firstorderhistorians.files.wordpress.com

"But I'm just the beard!"
 
2012-06-29 07:57:54 PM

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


You do know his, and Travolta's, closeting has nothing to do with how society views gays, right?
 
2012-06-29 08:00:04 PM

SharkTrager: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

You do know his, and Travolta's, closeting has nothing to do with how society views gays, right?


Yeah and society just needs to grow up.

And by "society" you mean monosyllabic "God," no?
 
2012-06-29 08:00:34 PM

Mandapants: Wow. I thought acting was something you did for a certain number of hours during the day and then stopped to take back your real life for a while.

These Hollywood types are pretty committed to being 100% fake 24/7. I understand the desire to "get ahead", but this craziness is something I can't fathom.

/square
//old-fashioned
///slashie



Paparazzi follow you 24/7
Your every move, clothes and word is critiqued
Your dating habits are tabloid gold

The life of a celebrity since the tabloid culture took off (with the internet tabloids imo) means you have to be in character 24/7
 
2012-06-29 08:06:59 PM
Well, I'm glad that little farce is over.
 
2012-06-29 08:09:17 PM

PillsHere: I thought it was common knowledge they had a 5 year contract where he needed a beard and she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant. A


So your theory is that she was pregnant 13 months.
 
2012-06-29 08:12:35 PM

squealie: Could care less about him (or anyone else) being gay, just find the whole COS thing repulsive and deceptive in the extreme.
/Mimi Rogers' comments about him after their divorce *did* seal the deal for me on the gayness thing, though


Was that when Mimi Rogers claimed she found him in bed with her own brother? I don't know, that's the way I heard it many moons ago. I don't truck with Mimi, though, because she's the biatch who introduced him to the scam in the first place. She may have been hot and heavenly and oh so womanly, but that wasn't cool of her.
 
2012-06-29 08:13:51 PM

Mog32Kupo: TSD: [i45.tinypic.com image 586x167]

BOOM...Roasted


That truly is a snap to end all snaps.
 
2012-06-29 08:24:36 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.


Katie and Chris broke up in May 2005. She got engaged to Tom in June 2005. The baby was born in April 2006. Pregnancies are not 13 months.
 
2012-06-29 08:24:36 PM

child_god: NateAsbestos: So I don't follow Hollywood around much, but I never got the impression Tom Cruise was gay. Pants-shiattingly crazy, no doubt. But I never got a whiff of the gay

Then again I never saw Top Gun or Rock of Ages... *shrug*

Here is Quentin Taratino's opinion of Top Gun.


Not a fan of Tarantino either... I guess there's just no pleasing me
 
2012-06-29 08:26:06 PM
i154.photobucket.com

I wonder if Tom Cruise isn't gay, just has a really weird fetish a la Troy McClure.

Also, I noticed that Katie seemed to age instantly after marrying Cruise. She looks happier now, but like he sucked 10 years or more of life out of her.
 
2012-06-29 08:28:56 PM
Frankly, she was holding him back from getting hotter tail elsewhere. He did her the favor by marrying her, not vice versa.
 
2012-06-29 08:29:40 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: And NSFW



What are the naked screenshots from?
 
2012-06-29 08:31:55 PM

urban.derelict: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

Well lets see, he's got crotchfruit with penelope cruz, 2 with nicole kidman, and one with katie holmes.

/motherf*cker can't beat my record though


He didn't knock up Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem did; and his two kids with Nicole are adopted.
 
2012-06-29 08:36:51 PM

FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.


Came here to say this, done in 1.
 
2012-06-29 08:39:15 PM

PillsHere: she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant.



The math doesn't really work, though. Her and Cruise were romantically linked a year before the baby was born. The birth was in April 2006, and in April 2005, exactly a year earlier, Cruise was already on Oprah going nuts about how much he loved his new girlfriend, Katie Holmes. If the kid was born a year later, then she wasn't knocked-up until three months into her relationship with Cruise.

I totally believe that this was a total sham marriage and a business arrangement, though.
 
2012-06-29 08:44:25 PM

SharkTrager: ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.

Katie and Chris broke up in May 2005. She got engaged to Tom in June 2005. The baby was born in April 2006. Pregnancies are not 13 months.


The baby was alleged to have been born on April 16, 2006. However, there are reports that no one on staff at the hospital recalls seeing Katie that day and the birth certificate was not filed until May 5, 2006. Suri was first seen in an exclusive photo spread in Vanity Fair magazine, specifically the October 2006 edition.

If you look here, specifically at the photo dated January 15, 2006, it appears that Katie is either carrying an ingrown fetus or she had the baby by then.

It may well be the child was born in December of 2005 or January of 2006 and kept under wraps in order to further the story.
 
2012-06-29 08:45:40 PM

SharkTrager: ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.

Katie and Chris broke up in May 2005. She got engaged to Tom in June 2005. The baby was born in April 2006. Pregnancies are not 13 months.


No, pregnancies are not. The baby was (allegedly)(really) born in, like, December or so, and that's when all the Fat Suit/Pregnancy Suit watches were out in fuller force on the gossip sites. You know how Beyonce (allegedly) didn't move like a pregnant lady? nevermind the collapsing pillow dress. Ladies who'd gone through pregnancy were saying 'something ain't right with the way she's moving with a belly like that.'

So when the Vogue (?) Annie Liebowitcz and I've totally screwed up her name pictures came out, folks were saying a) the baby was photoshopped and b) the baby was WAY too big for the alleged number of months she was supposed to be.

I don't know. That was long ago and far away. The only kid I think could conceivably be Tom's DNA in any known universe is Connor, if any. Maybe something is wrong with his swimmers, and he can't have kids. Who knows.
Nobody's business but his own and his publicist's. But Suri ain't his. And Katie getting hitched up that quick screams Shot Gun Wedding. That was some seriously old school shiat they tried to pull on us...

...which makes sense, since Tom liked to dress Katie up like an old woman. A fashionable old woman, but still a woman 30 and 40 years older than Katie's true age. I don't know what that says about Tommy, that his idea of making Katie (excuse me, 'Kate') be presentably and best representing his image, is that of a *matron*.
 
2012-06-29 08:47:03 PM

SharkTrager: ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.

Katie and Chris broke up in May 2005. She got engaged to Tom in June 2005. The baby was born in April 2006. Pregnancies are not 13 months.


I thought part of the story was the baby was born several months before and hidden away while Katie wore a fake baby bump.
 
2012-06-29 08:50:24 PM

Praise Cheesus:
The baby was alleged to have been born on April 16, 2006. However, there are reports that no one on staff at the hospital recalls seeing Katie that day and the birth certificate was not filed until May 5, 2006. Suri was first seen in an exclusive photo spread in Vanity Fair magazine, specifically the October 2006 edition.

If you look here, specifically at the photo dated January 15, 2006, it appears that Katie is either carrying an ingrown fetus or she had the baby by then.

It may well be the child was born in December of 2005 or January of 2006 and kept under wraps in order to further the story.


Vanity Fair. Thank you, dude.
 
2012-06-29 09:00:21 PM

monoski: I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise


To imply that we gay dudes want anything to do with Tom Cruise like that is considered hate speech in some states.
 
2012-06-29 09:08:03 PM
The idea was that they kept Suri under wraps because if they'd released photos right away, people would be able to tell that she wasn't the age they said she was, so they waited a few months so it would be less obvious.
 
2012-06-29 09:09:13 PM
img294.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 09:14:40 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-29 09:15:36 PM

sigdiamond2000: I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.


How is babby formed ?
 
2012-06-29 09:23:21 PM
Now that is quality trolling subby. Well done.
 
2012-06-29 09:26:30 PM

Disposable Rob: Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.

In Bizarro world, Anne Frank can both see AND hear.


Ha! I larfed.

In Bizarro world, Anne Frank made it safely across the Pacific.
 
2012-06-29 09:57:37 PM

shower_in_my_socks: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: And NSFW


What are the naked screenshots from?


It's in the link.

"The Gift"
 
2012-06-29 10:13:21 PM
Wow, nobody posted this yet.

insideflipside.com
 
2012-06-29 10:20:39 PM

Egalitarian: Also, I noticed that Katie seemed to age instantly after marrying Cruise.
She looks happier now, but like he sucked 10 years or more of life out of her.


i.imgur.com

That's how he stays so young looking, and all his wives kind of shrivel up. That's why he has to choose a younger one each time.
Sucking the life out takes quite the toll.
They kind of bounce back a little after they leave.
 
2012-06-29 10:23:59 PM

Somacandra: CheneyPepperedMe: she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks

Don't be silly. No one wants to marry Tom Hanks.


I would. He's freaking hilarious. I had posters of him in my locker in 1988.
 
2012-06-29 10:34:12 PM
Poor Tom Cruise. Not only did he just find out he's getting divorced, he found out while he was in Buffalo. That must make it worse.

/Seriously, he's here. I just listened to some angry farker from TMZ try to bribe a dude to find out where he's staying. I have no idea WHY he's here, of course...
 
2012-06-29 10:35:29 PM
Hey there Katie!
Wanna get away from the Hollywood paparazzi circus?
Gimme a call.
i48.tinypic.com
Seriously.
 
2012-06-29 10:48:03 PM

SurelyShirley: Hey there Katie!
Wanna get away from the Hollywood paparazzi circus?
Gimme a call.
[i48.tinypic.com image 266x400]
Seriously.


Um, *snikt* ;)
 
2012-06-29 10:52:08 PM
She's a terrible, terrible actress. She damn near ruined Batman Begins.
 
2012-06-29 10:54:36 PM
Keep it gay, Mr. Cruise.
 
2012-06-29 11:02:14 PM
Who and who? I've never heard of these people because I am the hippest person alive, be unaware my friends.
 
2012-06-29 11:03:40 PM

ZeroCorpse: She's a terrible, terrible actress. She damn near ruined Batman Begins.


THIS.

Every time I watch that movie I am bothered to hell by how BAD she is in it.
 
2012-06-29 11:12:15 PM

Disposable Rob: I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia.


Of course not. They make lots of money trying to cure/clear closeted homosexuals.
 
2012-06-29 11:20:49 PM

spman: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

After they split, Tom used Scientology to drive Nicole Kidman to drink, and I don't think they were much kinder to Penelope Cruz, Katie better watch out.


If Kidman's like most Brit chicks, if you drive them to drink chances are you're not using much gas on that trip.
 
2012-06-29 11:49:13 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-30 12:00:39 AM

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


Not a bad one either. I was kind of wondering who thye new beard would be and that isn't a bad guess. After all Nichole came from Days of Thunder.
 
2012-06-30 12:26:41 AM
I got the news from a tweet from @Therealsuri :
"drowning in a sea of red velvet cuppies and sorrow. WHO IS TAKING ME TO BALLET TODAY? "
 
2012-06-30 12:39:38 AM

SharkTrager: ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.

Katie and Chris broke up in May 2005. She got engaged to Tom in June 2005. The baby was born in April 2006. Pregnancies are not 13 months.


So who was the father?
 
2012-06-30 01:14:18 AM
I guess this mean I can finally stop wearing my "FREE KATIE!" t-shirt.

I'm relieved; I remember reading about Katie's parents and friends being distressed by the sudden isolation that resulted from Katie and Tom's 'romance'. It was classic cult behaviour to drive a wedge between families. Hopefully Katie is able to re-establish a relationship with her family.

As for Tom - maybe he'll drop the straight charade now? Is it really so important for actors to be 100% straight these days to maintain an audience? There are certainly enough ladies on the internet who are fascinated by male-male slash pairings. I think it holds the same appeal that girl-on-girl holds for guys, and more women are willing to admit it these days.

Tom is a decenct actor, and is/was so beautiful. If only he'd drop the uber-creepy cult thing.

i42.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-30 01:26:40 AM

Walker: Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

[img.photobucket.com image 445x529]
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)


Also this one from April 30 (note the Cruises are worth $275 million, hence the $300 million thing at the end):

Rumours abound concerning the marriage of a famous couple, yet there is a bewildering silence in the media.

Let's call the pair Mr. and Mrs. VIP - I'm not even saying whether they are British. Recently, Mrs. VIP failed to turn up to an event that she might reasonably have been expected to attend. Strangely, the media scarcely mentioned the fact.

Meanwhile, the whispers say that Mr. and Mrs. VIP are no longer together and are using the excuse of busy lives as a cover. The theory is that they won't announce the split for family reasons. Maybe, but a divorce would also mean the disentangling of considerable wealth and property interests...and a lot of secrets still bind this couple together.

There is already one privacy agreement with the media in place regarding a past incident, and the continuation of the Leveson Inquiry into press ethics might explain the reluctance of even the hardest-nosed British papers to expose the situation: so we have stalemate.

This suits Mr. and Mrs. VIP as they don't want nosy parker journalists taking a close look at their life, or heaven forbid, some forensic biographer shining a flashlight into the dark corners of their union. The funny friends? The magic millions? Oh no! So expect a choreographed Hollywood-style loving couple appearance with cheesy smiles this summer.

And it's not Charles and Camilla. The '$300 million divorce' exists only in the fantasyland of US tabloids. No names, please, in the comments: TMR is read in some very high places.
 
2012-06-30 01:30:46 AM
Well, dammit. I'm already married, and now Katie's tainted.

This sucks.
 
2012-06-30 01:33:58 AM
Fascinating stuff, farkers.

The murky magnitude of the chasm between public persona and private details...compounded by maybe/not true claims....simply fascinating.

Ok, fine, if perhaps also with a twinge of regret at realizing Ms. Holmes, in particular, might not be as good IRL.
 
2012-06-30 01:44:51 AM

Angry Buddha: Disposable Rob: Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.

In Bizarro world, Anne Frank can both see AND hear.

Ha! I larfed.

In Bizarro world, Anne Frank made it safely across the Pacific.


That's just smart enough for no one to get the gag. Kudos.

/noonan
 
2012-06-30 01:45:59 AM

HaveBeerWillTravel: Poor Tom Cruise. Not only did he just find out he's getting divorced, he found out while he was in Buffalo. That must make it worse.

/Seriously, he's here. I just listened to some angry farker from TMZ try to bribe a dude to find out where he's staying. I have no idea WHY he's here, of course...


Buffalo, bears.. same thing really, under all the hair.
 
2012-06-30 02:22:04 AM
Poor Tom. He only got to ride the Choo-Choo with Becky DeMornay once.
 
2012-06-30 03:35:53 AM
 
2012-06-30 03:51:46 AM

Praise Cheesus: SharkTrager: ExperianScaresCthulhu: zomega: I have never heard about this Chris Klein thing. I always thought he'd just married the first girl willing to be a beard and that was it.

There are tales the kid isn't even his? Was she pregnant before marriage or something? Explain!

Katie was fking Chris Klein, then she cheated on Chris with Josh Hartnett, then she got pregnant somewhere in all that, then Chris called her a fat pig and made fun of her weight and shiat then Katie met, hooked up with, and married Tom Cruise in the span of like 4 weeks....

On Tom Cruise' end, what I remember is that he interviewed about 4 different women, including some black Olympian chick, before settling with Katie who was the only one who came close to telling him 'yes', all the other chicks were skeeved off by his obsession with Scientology during the meetings to be his next wife.

So the baby is either Chris Klein's or Josh Hartnett's. My money was on Chris Klein forever because of the timing, and the fact that it being Josh's was too slutty and ironic and tragic for words given everything..... but Suri looks more and more like Josh everyday. I have no idea. All I do know is, it ain't Tommy's.

Katie and Chris broke up in May 2005. She got engaged to Tom in June 2005. The baby was born in April 2006. Pregnancies are not 13 months.

The baby was alleged to have been born on April 16, 2006. However, there are reports that no one on staff at the hospital recalls seeing Katie that day and the birth certificate was not filed until May 5, 2006. Suri was first seen in an exclusive photo spread in Vanity Fair magazine, specifically the October 2006 edition.

If you look here, specifically at the photo dated January 15, 2006, it appears that Katie is either carrying an ingrown fetus or she had the baby by then.

It may well be the child was born in December of 2005 or January of 2006 and kept under wraps in order to further the story.


I have never seen those photos of Katie Holmes' growing/shrinking "baby" bump. Thank you for posting. Also, I'm glad you posted the correct magazine that got the first photos (Vanity Fair) I thought it was People.
 
2012-06-30 04:19:06 AM
Katie better be very careful. Scientology isn't known for playing nice with people they consider a threat.
 
2012-06-30 04:28:51 AM

Max Awesome: I guess this mean I can finally stop wearing my "FREE KATIE!" t-shirt.

I'm relieved; I remember reading about Katie's parents and friends being distressed by the sudden isolation that resulted from Katie and Tom's 'romance'. It was classic cult behaviour to drive a wedge between families. Hopefully Katie is able to re-establish a relationship with her family.

As for Tom - maybe he'll drop the straight charade now? Is it really so important for actors to be 100% straight these days to maintain an audience? There are certainly enough ladies on the internet who are fascinated by male-male slash pairings. I think it holds the same appeal that girl-on-girl holds for guys, and more women are willing to admit it these days.

Tom is a decenct actor, and is/was so beautiful. If only he'd drop the uber-creepy cult thing.

[i42.photobucket.com image 400x349]


It's their own damn fault.... at least, her parents. From what I remember of the gossip, they (particularly her mother) saw dollar signs and pushed Katie to go for it.
 
2012-06-30 04:40:36 AM
The brainwashing must have worn off. Run for it Katie, before Sea Org drags you to Clearwater and forces you to watch "Battlefield Earth" again!
 
2012-06-30 04:58:59 AM
WTF is this a news flash? So what if it's Tom Cruze and Katiel Holms? I really, truly don't see how it's any more signifigant than Jane and John Nobody going through the same thing. Just what is it about some people that they concern themselves so much with the personal lives of celebrities?
 
2012-06-30 07:31:11 AM

HaveBeerWillTravel: Poor Tom Cruise. Not only did he just find out he's getting divorced, he found out while he was in Buffalo. That must make it worse.

/Seriously, he's here. I just listened to some angry farker from TMZ try to bribe a dude to find out where he's staying. I have no idea WHY he's here, of course...


So he can make a quick getaway to Canada?
 
2012-06-30 07:42:12 AM

cynicalbastard: spman: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

After they split, Tom used Scientology to drive Nicole Kidman to drink, and I don't think they were much kinder to Penelope Cruz, Katie better watch out.

If Kidman's like most Brit chicks, if you drive them to drink chances are you're not using much gas on that trip.


Um.... not sure if serious...
You do know that Nicole isn't British, right??
 
2012-06-30 10:25:14 AM
I still contend Tom Cruise isn't gay, but rather transgendered and Katie looks like a female version of Tom. Made it easier for him to wear her clothes around the house.

/But hey, Katie still won the lottery and will never want for anything
 
2012-06-30 11:08:45 AM

FuryOfFirestorm: The brainwashing must have worn off. Run for it Katie, before Sea Org drags you to Clearwater and forces you to watch "Battlefield Earth" again!


I dont actually see Katie listed as a guest star on SeaQuest.

And no, the new Star Trek Movie is NOT Trek.

I also dont think Siri is Tom's kid. A shotgun wedding would also nicely fit the fact that Katie's parents were devout Catholics or something similar. They would not want to see their daughter have a child out of wedlock. Its amazing how many people still think like that.

Feel sorry for Siri...hope she isnt too farked up. She probably could use some therapy.
 
2012-06-30 11:11:15 AM

Max Awesome: As for Tom - maybe he'll drop the straight charade now? Is it really so important for actors to be 100% straight these days to maintain an audience? There are certainly enough ladies on the internet who are fascinated by male-male slash pairings. I think it holds the same appeal that girl-on-girl holds for guys, and more women are willing to admit it these days.


It has little to do with Hollywood, and everything to do with Scientology. Being gay is not allowed in Scientology. He pairs up with women (as does Travolta) because it is what the cult organization orders. Their top celebrity faces can't be seen promoting a lifestyle that is against the tenets of their order.

Of course modern Hollywood has no problem with gay actors playing straight roles, and it doesn't seem to impact their sex appeal when it comes to women, either. This is about the religion, not the tabloids.
 
2012-06-30 11:55:50 AM
She tried and tried, but just couldn't stop being creeped out by his one front tooth.
 
2012-06-30 12:46:38 PM

Coastalgrl: I also dont think Siri is Tom's kid. A shotgun wedding would also nicely fit the fact that Katie's parents were devout Catholics or something similar. They would not want to see their daughter have a child out of wedlock. Its amazing how many people still think like that.


There was no shotgun wedding, though. They got engaged in June 2005, but they didn't marry until November 2006 - 7 months to the day after Suri was allegedly born.

Recap here
 
2012-06-30 12:52:33 PM

ZeroCorpse: She's a terrible, terrible actress. She damn near ruined Batman Begins.


And then they replaced her with Maggie Gly..Gylleken... fark it, sister of that Brokeback Mountain guy, who isn't as good looking and didn't act that well either. I was glad when the Joker blew her up.
 
2012-06-30 12:58:39 PM

SchadenFraud: Posh Naranek: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

[img94.imageshack.us image 550x540]

She was in SeaQuest?

Or are you thinking of Flipper?


You recognized SeaQuest and yet... Do you see the two doublewords that start with Sea?You're trolling me right? Please tell me you're trolling me.
 
2012-06-30 01:39:20 PM
When reached for a statement on why she's filed for divorce,
Katie only replied

i.qkme.me
 
2012-06-30 02:31:21 PM

fragMasterFlash: Poor Tom. He only got to ride the Choo-Choo with Becky DeMornay once.


Damn, that woman is smokin'. I nearly stripped the skin off my schlong fapping to "And God Created Woman"
 
2012-06-30 02:37:30 PM

FarkinHostile: Counseling by Xenu can save them.


Will she get the interstellar DC-8 as part of her settlement? Or just a few slivers of dignity and maybe the possibility of something other than a baster in her vaj?
 
2012-06-30 03:01:53 PM
I'm totally sending her my digits.....

/Call me
 
2012-06-30 03:15:24 PM

RealFarknMcCoy2: cynicalbastard: spman: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

After they split, Tom used Scientology to drive Nicole Kidman to drink, and I don't think they were much kinder to Penelope Cruz, Katie better watch out.

If Kidman's like most Brit chicks, if you drive them to drink chances are you're not using much gas on that trip.

Um.... not sure if serious...
You do know that Nicole isn't British, right??


Sorry, she's Aussie. Cancel the remark about not using much gas, insert one about not getting out of second gear.
 
2012-06-30 03:59:59 PM

Kuroshin: StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory

This needs bookmarked for future reference. If this happens before the year is out, somebody owes you a beer.

/not me, of course
//Hey, I'm on *your* side!


Difficulty: Hough is Mormon. Although Scientologists say that you can be one of them AND keep your religion. Just what I've heard. Can you imagine one person being BOTH of those things?

/Mormonism + Scientology. Two great cults that brainwash great together? Eh, somebody come up with something funnier
 
2012-06-30 04:08:06 PM
I can understand, given the jurisdiction she has filed her petition in and the custodial request, why Katie Holmes has done this.

Ditch the whole "the first five years have passed on the contract" and "Tom is gay" narrative for a minute. Katie filed for divorce in the city and county of New York and has requested sole legal custody of Suri as well as primary residential custody. It's starting to sound like Katie Holmes wants to get Suri far, far away from the Church of Scientology.

For years Tom has claimed their primary residence as being in California and word filtering around is he'll try to get this case heard in a California court, because it could otherwise cause him to owe a buttload of city and state taxes in NY. New York courts are more likely to award Katie her custody request, seeing as Tom spends a lot of time working. California courts tend to favor joint legal custody in divorce cases where children are involved.
 
2012-06-30 04:16:09 PM

Praise Cheesus: I can understand, given the jurisdiction she has filed her petition in and the custodial request, why Katie Holmes has done this.

Ditch the whole "the first five years have passed on the contract" and "Tom is gay" narrative for a minute. Katie filed for divorce in the city and county of New York and has requested sole legal custody of Suri as well as primary residential custody. It's starting to sound like Katie Holmes wants to get Suri far, far away from the Church of Scientology.

For years Tom has claimed their primary residence as being in California and word filtering around is he'll try to get this case heard in a California court, because it could otherwise cause him to owe a buttload of city and state taxes in NY. New York courts are more likely to award Katie her custody request, seeing as Tom spends a lot of time working. California courts tend to favor joint legal custody in divorce cases where children are involved.


I wonder if this means that we're going to have them fighting it out over jurisdictional issues for years. I can't imagine that Tom is going to agree to jurisdiction in NY without a major fight.
 
2012-06-30 04:18:04 PM

Praise Cheesus: I can understand, given the jurisdiction she has filed her petition in and the custodial request, why Katie Holmes has done this.

Ditch the whole "the first five years have passed on the contract" and "Tom is gay" narrative for a minute. Katie filed for divorce in the city and county of New York and has requested sole legal custody of Suri as well as primary residential custody. It's starting to sound like Katie Holmes wants to get Suri far, far away from the Church of Scientology.

For years Tom has claimed their primary residence as being in California and word filtering around is he'll try to get this case heard in a California court, because it could otherwise cause him to owe a buttload of city and state taxes in NY. New York courts are more likely to award Katie her custody request, seeing as Tom spends a lot of time working. California courts tend to favor joint legal custody in divorce cases where children are involved.


The thing is, you've brought logic to a thread involving Scientology.

Scientology can handle ridicule, but's it's not that great at dealing with logic.
 
2012-06-30 04:44:47 PM

Snargi: ZeroCorpse: She's a terrible, terrible actress. She damn near ruined Batman Begins.

And then they replaced her with Maggie Gly..Gylleken... fark it, sister of that Brokeback Mountain guy, who isn't as good looking and didn't act that well either. I was glad when the Joker blew her up.


Yes Katie had one good scene near the end when she had the high beams on outside of Wayne manor. With Maggie there was the one scene where Joker calls her beutiful and I nearly crapped my pants laughing.
 
2012-06-30 05:58:54 PM

rynthetyn: Praise Cheesus: I can understand, given the jurisdiction she has filed her petition in and the custodial request, why Katie Holmes has done this.

Ditch the whole "the first five years have passed on the contract" and "Tom is gay" narrative for a minute. Katie filed for divorce in the city and county of New York and has requested sole legal custody of Suri as well as primary residential custody. It's starting to sound like Katie Holmes wants to get Suri far, far away from the Church of Scientology.

For years Tom has claimed their primary residence as being in California and word filtering around is he'll try to get this case heard in a California court, because it could otherwise cause him to owe a buttload of city and state taxes in NY. New York courts are more likely to award Katie her custody request, seeing as Tom spends a lot of time working. California courts tend to favor joint legal custody in divorce cases where children are involved.

I wonder if this means that we're going to have them fighting it out over jurisdictional issues for years. I can't imagine that Tom is going to agree to jurisdiction in NY without a major fight.


I suspect the jurisdiction is a bargaining chip; Tom either agrees to allowing Katie sole legal and primary physical custody and she drops the NY petition, then re-files in CA or she'll fight him tooth and nail, then let NYS and NYC tax authorities have their chunk of his ass. Katie has retained Allan E. Mayefsky and Jonathan Wolfe, two very high powered attorneys specializing in nasty divorces (Mayefsky) and financial settlements (Wolfe). I'd be willing to bet she's also been in contact with Laura Wasserman in Los Angeles, in case Tom is willing to agree on the custody issue to get the case out of the NY courts.

As for the current venue, Tom has no one to blame but himself; in order to avoid the taxes levied by the city and state on income for residents on NYC, he transferred the deed on the apartment to a trust benefiting Katie. That caused the apartment to become her property of record.
 
2012-07-01 09:57:48 AM

Praise Cheesus:

As for the current venue, Tom has no one to blame but himself; in order to avoid the taxes levied by the city and state on income for residents on NYC, he transferred the deed on the apartment to a trust benefiting Katie. That caused the apartment to become her property of record.


... need to get my hands on that old video of Tom laughing his ass off during Kanye West's 'Golddigger', where he could be lip read saying, 'That's so true'...
 
2012-07-01 11:02:45 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Praise Cheesus:

As for the current venue, Tom has no one to blame but himself; in order to avoid the taxes levied by the city and state on income for residents on NYC, he transferred the deed on the apartment to a trust benefiting Katie. That caused the apartment to become her property of record.

... need to get my hands on that old video of Tom laughing his ass off during Kanye West's 'Golddigger', where he could be lip read saying, 'That's so true'...


Let me give you an example of "property of record" - in my case, I maintained a Nevada address for years (my father's home), simply by renewing my Nevada drivers' license every four years and having his water bill set up in my name. After my second husband tossed me through a third floor window in California, I headed to Reno immediately. Once in Reno, I called a lawyer friend who filed the papers for me. He faxed the petition and proof of service to another lawyer friend of my family, who had my husband sign them as soon as the SOB made bail on the charge of attempted murder. Proof of service was faxed back, taken before the judge and the divorce was final in a day.

In Katie's case, all she did was elect to live in the apartment Tom deeded over to the trust... because he wanted to have a NYC address without paying NY taxes on his income.
 
2012-07-01 01:09:51 PM

Praise Cheesus: ExperianScaresCthulhu: Praise Cheesus:

As for the current venue, Tom has no one to blame but himself; in order to avoid the taxes levied by the city and state on income for residents on NYC, he transferred the deed on the apartment to a trust benefiting Katie. That caused the apartment to become her property of record.

... need to get my hands on that old video of Tom laughing his ass off during Kanye West's 'Golddigger', where he could be lip read saying, 'That's so true'...

Let me give you an example of "property of record" - in my case, I maintained a Nevada address for years (my father's home), simply by renewing my Nevada drivers' license every four years and having his water bill set up in my name. After my second husband tossed me through a third floor window in California, I headed to Reno immediately. Once in Reno, I called a lawyer friend who filed the papers for me. He faxed the petition and proof of service to another lawyer friend of my family, who had my husband sign them as soon as the SOB made bail on the charge of attempted murder. Proof of service was faxed back, taken before the judge and the divorce was final in a day.

In Katie's case, all she did was elect to live in the apartment Tom deeded over to the trust... because he wanted to have a NYC address without paying NY taxes on his income.


This would make a good opening line in a book.
 
2012-07-01 03:03:49 PM
Praise Cheesus After my second husband tossed me through a third floor window in California, I headed to Reno immediately.

It was probably over by the time you passed the 2nd Floor
 
2012-07-01 03:38:01 PM

FlyingJ: Praise Cheesus After my second husband tossed me through a third floor window in California, I headed to Reno immediately.

It was probably over by the time you passed the 2nd Floor


It was over as soon as my feet passed the windowsill. Between gymnastics and pro wrestling, I learned how to tuck into a fall and spread the impact.
 
2012-07-01 03:42:38 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Kuroshin: StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory

This needs bookmarked for future reference. If this happens before the year is out, somebody owes you a beer.

/not me, of course
//Hey, I'm on *your* side!

Difficulty: Hough is Mormon. Although Scientologists say that you can be one of them AND keep your religion. Just what I've heard. Can you imagine one person being BOTH of those things?

/Mormonism + Scientology. Two great cults that brainwash great together? Eh, somebody come up with something funnier



You got space aliens in my magic underwear!
You got invisible golden tablets in my atomic space DC-8!
 
2012-07-01 10:40:23 PM

FloydA:

/Mormonism + Scientology. Two great cults that brainwash great together? Eh, somebody come up with something funnier


You got space aliens in my magic underwear!
You got invisible golden tablets in my atomic space DC-8!


You got clams in my white salamanders!
 
2012-07-02 12:46:19 PM

Posh Naranek: SchadenFraud: Posh Naranek: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

[img94.imageshack.us image 550x540]

She was in SeaQuest?

Or are you thinking of Flipper?

You recognized SeaQuest and yet... Do you see the two doublewords that start with Sea?You're trolling me right? Please tell me you're trolling me.


Not very well, apparently. :(
 
2012-07-02 07:09:22 PM

FloydA: B.L.Z. Bub: Kuroshin: StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory

This needs bookmarked for future reference. If this happens before the year is out, somebody owes you a beer.

/not me, of course
//Hey, I'm on *your* side!

Difficulty: Hough is Mormon. Although Scientologists say that you can be one of them AND keep your religion. Just what I've heard. Can you imagine one person being BOTH of those things?

/Mormonism + Scientology. Two great cults that brainwash great together? Eh, somebody come up with something funnier


You got space aliens in my magic underwear!
You got invisible golden tablets in my atomic space DC-8!


"These tablets were given to us by an alien named xenu, son of the big 'X', related to the wholly accurate tester we use...Beheld. COD, of course."
 
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