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(Sky.com) NewsFlash Tom Cruise shaves beard   ( news.sky.com) divider line
    More: NewsFlash, Tom Cruise, Dawson's Creek, Mimi Rogers, movie musicals, beards, Nicole Kidman  
•       •       •

29634 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Jun 2012 at 2:22 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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469 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-06-29 02:23:12 PM  
LOL, good one subby.
 
2012-06-29 02:23:14 PM  
+1
 
2012-06-29 02:23:28 PM  
Katie is free again - but at what cost?
 
2012-06-29 02:23:30 PM  
I am horribly shocked by this
 
2012-06-29 02:23:31 PM  
Too many massage parties at Travolta's house...
 
2012-06-29 02:24:10 PM  
Awesome, smitty.
 
2012-06-29 02:24:13 PM  
I don't get the beard reference...
 
2012-06-29 02:24:15 PM  
I snerk'd. Bravo, subby.
 
2012-06-29 02:24:26 PM  
I was waiting for this. Even predicted the headline correctly..
OK, commence celebrating.
As a het female, this does not help me in the slightest.
 
2012-06-29 02:24:31 PM  
Counseling by Xenu can save them.
 
2012-06-29 02:24:37 PM  
First John Travolta, now Tom Cruise, Xenu is going to be very displeased, quick feed him more money before he damages our thetans!
 
2012-06-29 02:24:39 PM  
Finally Chris Klein can see his kid?
 
2012-06-29 02:24:43 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?
 
2012-06-29 02:24:46 PM  
Hummm, 1st Travolta's in the news and Tom's back on the market. I wonder........

//Oh +1 to you subby
 
2012-06-29 02:24:47 PM  
I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise
 
2012-06-29 02:24:52 PM  
Great headline. Would lol again.

+1
 
2012-06-29 02:25:01 PM  
Wonder if she'll have to give up Suri like Nicole had to give up her kids (I know she sees them sometimes but Tom has primary custody-I think she had to give him that to be able to leave)
 
2012-06-29 02:25:05 PM  
As I wrote on FB, I think Rock of Ages was the last straw for Katie. Tom didn't just come out of the closet, he broke a land speed record.
 
2012-06-29 02:25:07 PM  
So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?
 
2012-06-29 02:25:14 PM  
But will she be able to divorce herself from the cult as well?
 
2012-06-29 02:25:27 PM  
That was unexpected.
 
2012-06-29 02:25:30 PM  
It's a sad, sad day. I was sure their love would last forever.
 
2012-06-29 02:25:47 PM  
But *she* filed for divorce. So it's more that Tom Cruise's beard "fell off" or "left" or "filed for divorce" rather than Tom actually doing anything, right?

/I know, welcome to fark.jpg
 
2012-06-29 02:25:55 PM  

Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...


A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.
 
2012-06-29 02:26:02 PM  
He'll get over it. Any bets how soon he remarries?
 
2012-06-29 02:26:12 PM  

rhondajeremy: Wonder if she'll have to give up Suri like Nicole had to give up her kids (I know she sees them sometimes but Tom has primary custody-I think she had to give him that to be able to leave)


She can just buy another damned iPhone. She's got plenty of money.
 
2012-06-29 02:26:15 PM  
I heard she was tired of putting hair on her butt
 
2012-06-29 02:26:16 PM  
So there was a breech in the compound's security?
 
2012-06-29 02:26:18 PM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?


After they split, Tom used Scientology to drive Nicole Kidman to drink, and I don't think they were much kinder to Penelope Cruz, Katie better watch out.
 
2012-06-29 02:26:20 PM  
I submitted this with a similar headline, but simple wins.

From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.

She's been heading out in NYC with no makeup lately. Tom Cruise hates hates hates this. Her publicist called her to tell her that Tom was getting mad that her hag look was ruining his reputation and she laughed and said "Good!"

/blindgossip
 
2012-06-29 02:26:22 PM  

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


Damn, learned something new today
 
2012-06-29 02:26:31 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Beard: a woman used by a gay guy in order to pass as straight
 
2012-06-29 02:26:45 PM  

Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...


Some closet homosexuals get girlfriends/wives to maintain an illusion of heterosexuality (manliness); those girlfriends/wives are referred to as "Beards".
 
2012-06-29 02:26:54 PM  
DAMNIT!

Too slow on the headline!

+1UP!
 
2012-06-29 02:27:05 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


A beard is a common term for a spouse who's only purpose is to hide a person's true sexuality. In other words, he married Katie Holmes in order to seem heterosexual to the public.
 
2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM  
I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.
 
2012-06-29 02:27:17 PM  
him and eddie murphy should just totally date.
 
2012-06-29 02:27:20 PM  
I hate the fact that this is news flash-worthy.
 
2012-06-29 02:27:55 PM  
"Newsflash!" tag? Why?
 
2012-06-29 02:27:56 PM  
Smitty FTW.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:00 PM  

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


Ah ok. Thanks. I have three beards then.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:01 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


A beard is a term for the wife of someone who is gay so they can stay in the closet.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:02 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Wiki article.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:06 PM  
Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

img.photobucket.com
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)
 
2012-06-29 02:28:08 PM  
a joke older than Katie Holmes is getting accolades. cool beans.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:19 PM  
He has already been spotted with his new girlfriend:

pub.tv2.no
 
2012-06-29 02:28:26 PM  
The Suri one was better.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:28 PM  
26.media.tumblr.com

Do we care? Are we caring about that?
 
2012-06-29 02:28:32 PM  
Yay! She's making her escape!
 
2012-06-29 02:28:34 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

Damn, learned something new today


me too!! never heard of that one.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:36 PM  

mongbiohazard: But will she be able to divorce herself from the cult as well?


There is something glamorous about putting 'subversive person' on a CV.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:39 PM  
Bravo, subby. I always love headlines like this. When I try to describe Fark to people, these are the kinds of headlines I use.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:41 PM  
I can't wait to see all the bouncy cruiz memes.

We all knew it would happen, the guys a farking loon
 
2012-06-29 02:28:52 PM  
So what's the cause? Anyone want to offer an opinion?

I think it's a tossup between the two obvious options:

1) It's because Tom Cruise is gay and that doesn't make for an easy hetero-marriage.

2) It's because Katie couldn't stand being in their cult anymore and she wants to leave scientology.
 
2012-06-29 02:28:54 PM  
Bet hes on the penis train tonight. Penis train.
 
2012-06-29 02:29:10 PM  
Anybody know why when I click on certain articles they pop up over and over?
 
2012-06-29 02:29:12 PM  
NOOOO! NOT TOMKAT!!11
 
2012-06-29 02:29:22 PM  

Walker: Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

[img.photobucket.com image 445x529]
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)



Ding ding ding
 
2012-06-29 02:29:27 PM  
I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.
 
2012-06-29 02:29:28 PM  
ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.
 
2012-06-29 02:29:34 PM  
Clearly smarter than Nicole Kidman, Katie only opted for the 5 year contract....
 
2012-06-29 02:29:41 PM  

FarkinHostile: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

Some closet homosexuals get girlfriends/wives to maintain an illusion of heterosexuality (manliness); those girlfriends/wives are referred to as "Beards".


I don't think beards are exclusive to gay men.
 
2012-06-29 02:30:03 PM  
A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."
 
2012-06-29 02:30:14 PM  
Nice headline.

Marriage Impossible
 
2012-06-29 02:30:22 PM  

sigdiamond2000: I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.


Can we get a Supreme court ruling on this?
 
2012-06-29 02:30:27 PM  
I voted against this headline because it is so freaking obvious. The "Suri" one was much better.

Subby should not have gotten rewarded for such low-hanging fruit*.


*like Tom Cruise.
 
2012-06-29 02:30:39 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


In case no one has answered yet, a beard is a woman a gay man dates or marries in order to remain in the closet.
 
2012-06-29 02:30:41 PM  

Klippoklondike: metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?

A beard is a common term for a spouse who's only purpose is to hide a person's true sexuality. In other words, he married Katie Holmes in order to seem heterosexual to the public.


I learned something today.
 
2012-06-29 02:30:50 PM  
I wonder who Katie got tired of dressing up as more....Travolta or Kilmer?

//i don't think Tom liked being on top
 
2012-06-29 02:30:58 PM  

Newsflash? Really?

 
2012-06-29 02:31:05 PM  

foo monkey: The Suri one was better.


by a mile.
a stiff, completely discreet, non-disclosure agreement signed 8", anyway.
 
2012-06-29 02:31:06 PM  
Maybe Holmes got sick of Cruise limiting her career? She hasn't done jack shiat since they got married.
 
2012-06-29 02:31:11 PM  

monoski: I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise


That was pretty good too !
 
2012-06-29 02:31:12 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


low mileage, lightly used
 
2012-06-29 02:31:36 PM  

slidingclosetdoor.net

Out out, Tommy!

 
2012-06-29 02:32:19 PM  
www.inquisitr.com

Seems appropriate on many levels.
 
2012-06-29 02:32:27 PM  

Brother_Mouzone: a joke older than Katie Holmes is getting accolades. cool beans.


you sound old
 
2012-06-29 02:32:30 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]


Only 5% of submitted links ever make it to the main page so submitting the same story with the same headline 20 times guarantees it making it right?
 
2012-06-29 02:32:35 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]


Yeah.. the anal sex headline kinda wins. Especially if you read it in Norm McDonald's voice.
 
2012-06-29 02:33:27 PM  

SirAdrianDangerous: sigdiamond2000: I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Can we get a Supreme court ruling on this?


The anal sex headline has not been redlit yet.

The admin needs to pull a John Roberts and shock the world by yanking this headline.
 
2012-06-29 02:33:40 PM  

Leeds: So what's the cause? Anyone want to offer an opinion?

I think it's a tossup between the two obvious options:

1) It's because Tom Cruise is gay and that doesn't make for an easy hetero-marriage.

2) It's because Katie couldn't stand being in their cult anymore and she wants to leave scientology.


Katie... Katie never loved Tom, she was offered a lucrative contract. But as any arragned marriage, they formed a relationship of sorts, never sexual, think skipping the "salad days" - She was in on it, knows he is gay, was told by his handlers and him never to make comments about it and his private wrestling matches, and in 5 years she could resign.
But the constant Scientology buzzards circling around her every move numbed her, broke her, and she loves that little girl, but Suri is the child of Scientology, and Suri as she grows up, naturally with Scientology handlers finding ways to plant influence in her life, will make the remainder of Katie's motherhood quite simply, a living hell.
 
2012-06-29 02:33:45 PM  
But she'll always have something to remember him by.
www.demeterclarc.com (hot)(and itchy)
 
2012-06-29 02:33:50 PM  

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


oh i get it now, that's hilarious. good headline.
 
2012-06-29 02:34:16 PM  
Saw the Tom Cruise bird shiat facial news and wanted to have both stories merged to have a great headline opportunity.

"Tom Cruise takes sh#t facial to shave beard"
 
2012-06-29 02:34:40 PM  
WHY Katie? I've finally accepted that you and I could never be so I decided to have a child with my wife and now you DO THIS?! HOW COULD YOU?!
 
2012-06-29 02:34:42 PM  
I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 02:35:09 PM  
Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES
 
2012-06-29 02:35:26 PM  

MrEricSir: Maybe Holmes got sick of Cruise limiting her career? She hasn't done jack shiat since they got married.


Her career had peaked and was in decline by the time they got married - it's not like she was going to be the next Merryl Streep.

/Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite
///definitely the pinnacle of her acting acheivements
 
2012-06-29 02:35:30 PM  
I couldn't help it. :-)

img51.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 02:35:52 PM  
i978.photobucket.com

But he took this marriage SO SERIOUSLY
 
2012-06-29 02:36:02 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


I think one probably could now. Cruise is just batshiat crazy. Don't Scientologists disavow the existence of homosexuality?
 
2012-06-29 02:36:03 PM  
But, I didn't even know he had a be--oh, you!
 
2012-06-29 02:36:09 PM  
awesome, now Quentin can write a movie for her and begin the comebac

Contrabulous Flabtraption: FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.

Yeah, subby was an original genius

[i.imgur.com image 640x625]


I like the Huffingtonpost one. i know brevity is the soul of wit but its rambling overly detailed headline was just fitting.
 
2012-06-29 02:36:11 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Yeah, subby was an original genius


Butthurt that yours wasn't picked?

memedepot.com

 
2012-06-29 02:36:33 PM  

foo monkey: Suri


Yes it was. Mods/Admin replace this headline with that one.

/slips them some cash
//not that subby
 
2012-06-29 02:36:41 PM  
I'm a publicist for Katie Holmes.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 02:36:43 PM  
I don't ever remember Tom with facial hair. What is going on here?
 
2012-06-29 02:36:51 PM  
subby: Tom Cruise shaves beard

www.infamouskidd.com

BOO! BRING BACK THE FROG!

/golf clap
 
2012-06-29 02:37:25 PM  
pstudent12 SmartestFunniest 2012-06-29 02:34:42 PM


I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

Old school! :)
 
2012-06-29 02:37:48 PM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?


I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.
 
2012-06-29 02:38:17 PM  

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: him and eddie murphy should just totally date.


I don't think Johnny Gill would be down for that. How does Tommy Girl look in a dress, anyway?
 
2012-06-29 02:38:22 PM  
Now, because Katie actually filed the petition of dissolution, shouldn't the headline have been "Beard shaves Tom Cruise"?
 
2012-06-29 02:38:41 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


If the next Star Trek rakes in as much money as expected, Zachary Quinto will be well on his way to "major Hollywood action star" status and nobody gives a fark that he's out, so that day may come sooner rather than later.

/now if only Jeremy Renner would drop the "the guy I live with is my business partner and I'm just too busy to date" talking point
 
2012-06-29 02:39:06 PM  
youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com
 
2012-06-29 02:39:19 PM  
Fires, Homelessness and Fraud...

And THIS is important?
 
2012-06-29 02:39:22 PM  

Silly Jesus: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

Ah ok. Thanks. I have three beards then.


A beard can also be a person who dates or marries a straight person to convince that straight person's ex to go the fark away :)

It's really, just anyone you're "dating" as a disguise...
 
2012-06-29 02:39:31 PM  

Disposable Rob: I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.


maybe they tried some sort of Clockwork method to cure what they perceive as a problem, but instead wind up reinforcing it
 
2012-06-29 02:39:51 PM  

Walker: Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

[img.photobucket.com image 445x529]
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)


Katie's got her smirk back!
Tom just needs to be with his short asian pilot boyfriends and be done with it.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:51 PM  

balancing act: monoski: I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise

That was pretty good too !


Gay dudes (like myself) want nothing to do with that freakshow.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:52 PM  

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.



Tom is a TOOL of the Scientology CULT.
Katie was suckered into it after Tom interviewed starlets to join his Xenu Squad III.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:58 PM  

LeroyBourne: ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.


I'm fairly certain -- without even having read it -- that the prenup she signed in CA would utterly, completely, strictly prohibit her even WRITING a book such as that, let alone publishing one.
 
2012-06-29 02:40:30 PM  

llfennell: with Scientology handlers finding ways to plant influence in her life, will make the remainder of Katie's motherhood quite simply, a living hell.


i.imgur.com

Wow. Sounds like you need some reassessment of your ARC triangle.
 
2012-06-29 02:41:31 PM  
Maybe he's going to finally stop running?

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-06-29 02:41:45 PM  
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.


Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)
 
2012-06-29 02:41:47 PM  
Headline of the year FTW!
 
2012-06-29 02:42:01 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

blogs.babycenter.com

I love this picture of him and his family.
 
2012-06-29 02:42:25 PM  

Hermione_Granger: Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay


they were all wishing him to be happy, does he not want to be happy?
 
2012-06-29 02:42:36 PM  

Somacandra: Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES


I thought I remembered reading that the story was that when she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks and they conveniently changed it to be Tom Cruise. Also, something about having a Tom Hanks poster in her room.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:09 PM  
So she produced a child and put in the time required by her contract. She fulfilled her obligations and gets her payout. All parties involved got what they wanted and the deal is done. Business as usual.

/now he'll swear off marriage but be seen in the company of beautiful women and able to spend time with his new male "assistant"
 
2012-06-29 02:43:14 PM  

you have pee hands: Don't Scientologists disavow the existence of homosexuality?


Hubbard's books treat it within the context of mental health thought when they were written, so yeah the books say its pathological. But that's not the same thing as current COS policy.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:21 PM  

filter: He'll get over it. Any bets how soon he remarries?


Depends on how soon Prop 8 gets overturned, and whether there's a guy out there who wants him.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:24 PM  
Where were you farkers who don't know what a beard is when Michelle Bachman was sucking corn dog?
 
2012-06-29 02:44:06 PM  

beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite


The Germans giving birth to several million jews?
 
2012-06-29 02:44:10 PM  

Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.


That is an AWESOME Captain Hook costume
 
2012-06-29 02:44:19 PM  

GaidinBDJ: When I try to describe Fark to people, these are the kinds of headlines I use.


And they slowly back away.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:26 PM  

CheneyPepperedMe: she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks


Don't be silly. No one wants to marry Tom Hanks.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:32 PM  
Guess she can go back to crawling through Dawson's window again.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:38 PM  
Let me be the 50th to say, today I learned a new word. Thank you Farkers.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:08 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


images.eonline.com

Me too.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:16 PM  

IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?


oh no you didn't
 
2012-06-29 02:45:23 PM  
Katie just went "show me the money!"
 
2012-06-29 02:45:24 PM  

CheneyPepperedMe: Somacandra: Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES

I thought I remembered reading that the story was that when she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks and they conveniently changed it to be Tom Cruise. Also, something about having a Tom Hanks poster in her room.


Ha! One of them is known for being in Big.
The other one is known for being Small.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:42 PM  

IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?


In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:59 PM  

texdent: Guess she can go back to crawling through Dawson's window again.


Sweet!
 
2012-06-29 02:46:19 PM  

cchris_39: Anybody know why when I click on certain articles they pop up over and over?


Because you have Parkinson's?
 
2012-06-29 02:46:27 PM  

Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.


NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.
 
2012-06-29 02:46:56 PM  
Katie has executed the 5-year out clause. The marriage has not raised her fame by the required margin. She requests her contracted 5-year bonus, and waives all claims to the 7-year and 10-year bonuses she could have received. As part of this 5-year bonus, she agrees to abide by the original non-disclosure agreement.
 
2012-06-29 02:46:57 PM  
Well, at least Katie's rectum is getting a well deserved break.

Hope she denounces $cientology, too.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:06 PM  
I thought it was common knowledge they had a 5 year contract where he needed a beard and she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant. Although I've heard that she broke up with Chris because he had a drinking problem, but then I heard he broke up with her because he didn't want to be a dad. Anyway, Tom and Katie had the same publicist or agent or something who thought they could fulfill each other's needs. Chris Klein has almost the similar features to both of them so it wouldn't be suspicious.

//Don't really know anything, but that was always the speculation by most people. Most people seemed to at least know the 5 year contract part which has turned out to be true or at least this is highly coincidental. In the least we knew they would split before 10 years like he did with Nicole because once they hit 10 years in CA, she gets significantly more money regardless of a pre-nup (or so I've heard). I believe he filed for divorce from Nicole at almost exactly 10 years, but got in right under the wire.

//Why am I writing all this because I don't give a crap about any of them?
 
2012-06-29 02:47:27 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.

That is an AWESOME Captain Hook costume


He must know people in costume design / show business.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:30 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

Damn, learned something new today


Ditto. My best guess was a "bearded clam" joke of some sort.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:54 PM  

pics.celebritycarsblog.com

R.I.P SHERLOCK HOLMES AND HIS FABULOUS CRUISE



...I got nothin'...
 
2012-06-29 02:47:57 PM  

H31N0US: Me too.


i.imgur.com

I prefer the shooped one on the left.
 
2012-06-29 02:48:24 PM  

rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.


Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).
 
2012-06-29 02:48:33 PM  

Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.


Dude. It's not cool to make fun of the blind.
 
2012-06-29 02:49:07 PM  

dramboxf: LeroyBourne: ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.

I'm fairly certain -- without even having read it -- that the prenup she signed in CA would utterly, completely, strictly prohibit her even WRITING a book such as that, let alone publishing one.


Like I said, 'i know it'll never happen,' he'd sue her faster than he runs. But she has close friends, and rumors be rumors.
 
2012-06-29 02:49:37 PM  
So long, and thanks for all the herpes!
 
2012-06-29 02:49:57 PM  

Another Government Employee: Fires, Homelessness and Fraud...

And THIS is important?


Important enough for you to comment on. And I see my tax dollars are hard at work too.

/Welcome to Fark, etc.
 
2012-06-29 02:50:16 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


Does some Nascar driver sponsored by McD's go out and say he prefers 5 Guys?

Cruise may prefer 5 Guys but he needs women to believe in the illusion that they are up to the Impossible Mission of getting at his Top Gun because he actually might want them.
 
2012-06-29 02:50:33 PM  
p.twimg.com

/hot like this thread
 
2012-06-29 02:51:11 PM  

Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.


Impossibly cute kids. Should be proud and I'm sure he is.

See, the essential problem is this...Harris is gay, he's ok with it, we move on and so does he. People like Travolta and Cruise are at least bisexual, not ok with it for a variety of reasons which is why they got hooked up with a cult to begin with, and we constantly make jokes about them, forbidding them from moving on, so they stay closeted.

Real therapy, not fake analysis is what Cruise and Travolta need to come to grips with their lifestyle and what they are. Harris just needs to keep being Harris.
 
2012-06-29 02:51:16 PM  
His boyfriend told him it tickled his scrotum too much.
 
2012-06-29 02:51:40 PM  

Somacandra: H31N0US: Me too.

I prefer the shooped one on the left.


Almost looks like TC in the background...
 
2012-06-29 02:52:12 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

The perkiest part of her career.


If you didn't fall in love with her after GO!, then I don't know what to tell you.
 
2012-06-29 02:52:46 PM  
i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-29 02:52:47 PM  
To think a mere 6 years ago You Cold-Hearted Cyber Bullies Said It Wouldn't Last
http://boingboing.net/2006/02/14/tom-have-you-been-cr.html

Thread search term: definatly
 
2012-06-29 02:53:01 PM  
I hope this bad experience does not turn him off women for good.
 
2012-06-29 02:53:32 PM  
So I don't follow Hollywood around much, but I never got the impression Tom Cruise was gay. Pants-shiattingly crazy, no doubt. But I never got a whiff of the gay

Then again I never saw Top Gun or Rock of Ages... *shrug*
 
2012-06-29 02:53:57 PM  

Expolaris: rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.

Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).


Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

Aren't there lots of rumors about Vin Diesel?
 
2012-06-29 02:54:23 PM  
NewsFlash because... Scientologists have something on Drew?
 
2012-06-29 02:54:37 PM  

Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.


In Bizarro world, Anne Frank can both see AND hear.
 
2012-06-29 02:54:38 PM  

PillsHere: I thought it was common knowledge they had a 5 year contract where he needed a beard and she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant. Although I've heard that she broke up with Chris because he had a drinking problem, but then I heard he broke up with her because he didn't want to be a dad. Anyway, Tom and Katie had the same publicist or agent or something who thought they could fulfill each other's needs. Chris Klein has almost the similar features to both of them so it wouldn't be suspicious.

//Don't really know anything, but that was always the speculation by most people. Most people seemed to at least know the 5 year contract part which has turned out to be true or at least this is highly coincidental. In the least we knew they would split before 10 years like he did with Nicole because once they hit 10 years in CA, she gets significantly more money regardless of a pre-nup (or so I've heard). I believe he filed for divorce from Nicole at almost exactly 10 years, but got in right under the wire.

//Why am I writing all this because I don't give a crap about any of them?


The real question is, why do you KNOW all this when you don't give a crap about any of them?

I ask my self the same question, almost daily....
 
2012-06-29 02:54:46 PM  

Magnanimous_J: If you didn't fall in love with her after GO!, then I don't know what to tell you.



Katie's part in Wonder Boys got me hooked.

images.quickblogcast.com
 
2012-06-29 02:54:56 PM  

Jackpot777: [pics.celebritycarsblog.com image 450x378]

R.I.P SHERLOCK HOLMES AND HIS FABULOUS CRUISE

...I got nothin'...


What the fark are wrong with his feet? They look like they were run over with that car.
 
2012-06-29 02:55:17 PM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?


img94.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 02:55:35 PM  
i96.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-29 02:55:41 PM  
I'm not that impressed with the headline.

/just saying
 
2012-06-29 02:55:54 PM  
Johnny Depp & Tom Cruise single at the same time?

Is there a Pride parade in Beverly Hills coming up?
 
2012-06-29 02:55:55 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


She has served her part in the Bene Scientologists master to plan to create the Kwizatch Hubbarderach. She was obedient and birthed a girl child who can be wed to a Harkonnen heir .
 
2012-06-29 02:57:19 PM  

Julieahni: I'm not that impressed with the headline.

/just saying



Me either.
-1 Subby. old stale joke is old & stale.
 
2012-06-29 02:57:26 PM  
She's got some hangers and she's rather antlery but still there's something about her. Good for you Katie.
 
2012-06-29 02:57:42 PM  
Could care less about him (or anyone else) being gay, just find the whole COS thing repulsive and deceptive in the extreme.
/Mimi Rogers' comments about him after their divorce *did* seal the deal for me on the gayness thing, though
 
2012-06-29 02:58:27 PM  

youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com




Has anyone posted this pic yet?
 
2012-06-29 02:59:02 PM  

Magorn: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

She has served her part in the Bene Scientologists master to plan to create the Kwizatch Hubbarderach. She was obedient and birthed a girl child who can be wed to a Harkonnen heir .


are...are those things?... gesundheit?
 
2012-06-29 02:59:04 PM  

llfennell: pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


Tom is a TOOL of the Scientology CULT.
Katie was suckered into it after Tom interviewed starlets to join his Xenu Squad III.


You've been here far too long to fall for that.

/ ten Fark demerits
 
2012-06-29 02:59:07 PM  

Posh Naranek: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

[img94.imageshack.us image 550x540]


She was in SeaQuest?

Or are you thinking of Flipper?
 
2012-06-29 02:59:09 PM  

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: him and eddie murphy should just totally date.


Eddie Murphy is NOT gay. He was just being helpful when he picked up the stranger that night. He'd do it for you, too.
 
2012-06-29 02:59:31 PM  
I would love to hear the anal joke that didn't make the cut
 
2012-06-29 03:00:58 PM  

FTGodWin: LOL, good one subby.


Hate to jump on it!....but good one subby!
 
2012-06-29 03:00:58 PM  
I'm a publicist for Beards.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 03:01:10 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.


QFT. As a straight chick, I would just like to say to all the closeted gay male movie stars out there who are no doubt reading this and hanging on every word I write: We don't care that you're gay. Really. It's not as if we are going to get to sleep with any of you good looking men-on-film, straight or otherwise, anyway. Our fantasy lives already have to be incredibly elaborate in order for us to achieve a convincing daydream about you--bracketing your gayness is no big deal.

Now, on the other hand, watching you take a gorgeous woman like Katie Holmes and reduce her to a sallow wraith with your web of deception and control--that kind of kills my clit boner. Just FYI.
 
2012-06-29 03:01:18 PM  
Just saw this article on another site and thought, I should submit this as "Tom Cruise shaves his beard."

/CSB
//Dejected when I saw a nearly identical headline on the main page
///Good job subby
 
2012-06-29 03:01:21 PM  

Leeds: Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.

Dude. It's not cool to make fun of the blind.


Don't judge me. One side comes down and the other gets stuck and stays in place. It's like it's saying: "look at me. I'm some fancy lady's giant opera fan". Fuk that thing, it deserves the ridicule.
 
2012-06-29 03:01:23 PM  
img256.imageshack.us

/guess she can stand back up now
 
2012-06-29 03:01:37 PM  

hdhale: See, the essential problem is this...Harris is gay, he's ok with it, we move on and so does he. People like Travolta and Cruise are at least bisexual, not ok with it for a variety of reasons which is why they got hooked up with a cult to begin with, and we constantly make jokes about them, forbidding them from moving on, so they stay closeted.


Straight or Gay, and everything inbetween, at some point you have to become comfortable with who you are. They have certainly become comfortable with this manufactured image of themselves, but let the inside slowly rot away.

It's just really farking hard to shut out the world and carry on without letting it get to you when your whole life is on display for the world to pick apart.

.

..

...

Back to the gay jokes? The more we all laugh, the less we all truly care about the pointless outrage over two dudes / girls loving each other.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-29 03:01:38 PM  
Best and worst 50th birthday present ever.
 
2012-06-29 03:01:38 PM  

Magorn: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

She has served her part in the Bene Scientologists master to plan to create the Kwizatch Hubbarderach. She was obedient and birthed a girl child who can be wed to a Harkonnen heir .


Excellent...approaching brilliant.
 
2012-06-29 03:02:11 PM  
Lack of Katie pics is disturbing
 
2012-06-29 03:02:22 PM  

GT_bike: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

Does some Nascar driver sponsored by McD's go out and say he prefers 5 Guys?

Cruise may prefer 5 Guys but he needs women to believe in the illusion that they are up to the Impossible Mission of getting at his Top Gun because he actually might want them.


That's not really so much the case anymore. Matt Bomer's entire career is based on being hot and looking good with his shirt off, and his post-coming out White Collar ratings are as good as they've always been even though that show relies heavily on Bomer's character's ability to charm women.
 
2012-06-29 03:02:40 PM  

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


You forgot to call us glib.
 
2012-06-29 03:02:56 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.

That is an AWESOME Captain Hook costume


Ssure he's famous and can dress in full costume at Disney but that fat tinkerbell chick in Florida is required to change clothes?
 
2012-06-29 03:03:07 PM  
Third strike and you're out [of the closet.]
 
2012-06-29 03:05:37 PM  
The real problem with Cruise isn't that he's a self-loathing, middle-aged, dwarfish closeted gay man.

He's a control freak. Pure narcissist. Scary, even by Hollywood standards. I suspect his character from Tropic Thunder is more like him than any other he's ever played.
 
2012-06-29 03:06:35 PM  

llfennell: pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


Tom is a TOOL of the Scientology CULT.
Katie was suckered into it after Tom interviewed starlets to join his Xenu Squad III.


Are you new?
 
2012-06-29 03:06:54 PM  

Unhip1: Not everything's a "meme."


Cool... that's a new meme.
 
2012-06-29 03:07:49 PM  
Along with not enjoying the headline (been there, done that), I never understood the hate for Tom Cruise. So, he's nutty. Who cares?

/But, what do I know ?
 
2012-06-29 03:07:54 PM  
thegboatdotnet.files.wordpress.com

what is our purpose in life?
to KILL
 
2012-06-29 03:08:39 PM  
Praise Cheesus:
Now, because Katie actually filed the petition of dissolution, shouldn't the headline have been "Beard shaves Tom Cruise"?

What a country!

www.bestoftimestravel.com

No, seriously, what a country. *sigh*
 
2012-06-29 03:08:50 PM  

Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."


images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-06-29 03:09:27 PM  
I guess Katie refused to squeeze out any more Bouncing Baby Scientologists
 
2012-06-29 03:09:27 PM  
Well at least now him and Travolta can date.
 
2012-06-29 03:09:30 PM  
She was cute until she got herpes from Tom.
 
2012-06-29 03:09:39 PM  
I immediately thought of this bit from a Family Guy episode.

Katie free.

/Terrible quality on this video.
 
2012-06-29 03:10:02 PM  

Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...


She's really hairy. Like a silverback
 
2012-06-29 03:10:18 PM  

llfennell: From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.


This rumor has been floating around awhile (since they married). The fact that it's been 5 years and she's seeking a divorce seems to lend a little credence to the rumor.
 
2012-06-29 03:10:43 PM  
encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-06-29 03:11:02 PM  
Tom Cruise is in love with...Tom Cruise!
 
2012-06-29 03:11:56 PM  

Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."


That's true. Milhouse, etc.

But my problem is that "meme" seems to have changed from "common, catchy idea" to "people putting different words on the same picture". So, fark that anyways.
 
2012-06-29 03:12:02 PM  

Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)


Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.
 
2012-06-29 03:12:21 PM  

Rawry: [encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 183x275]


Gah! What is that?
 
2012-06-29 03:12:24 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Beard (companion)
 
2012-06-29 03:13:43 PM  
If anyone wants to re-read the transcript of Tom Cruise losing his shiate about psychology- here it is: Matt Lauer schools Tom Cruise

There is some serious comedy gold in that douchbag's meltdown. :)

Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...
 
2012-06-29 03:14:41 PM  
211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!
 
2012-06-29 03:15:45 PM  

borg: Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)

Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.


It was actually just earlier this year that a court finally threw out a libel case on the grounds that calling somebody gay wasn't libel. My torts casebook from last year still included accusing someone of being homosexual as a libel tort.
 
2012-06-29 03:16:08 PM  

gunther_bumpass: Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."

That's true. Milhouse, etc.

But my problem is that "meme" seems to have changed from "common, catchy idea" to "people putting different words on the same picture". So, fark that anyways.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-29 03:16:39 PM  

borg: Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.


I am pretty sure he also sued in England where those cases go much better for the plaintiff.
 
2012-06-29 03:17:18 PM  

Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)


You can sue for slander. You can't sue for racism.
 
2012-06-29 03:18:26 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Aw, people keep giving you definitions, but here's how it works:

I have a friend I've known for years (since college) who's a research chemist for a VERY uptight Big Pharma company. She's gay. Every couple of months there's a function of some sort - a dinner, a reception for a visiting researcher, a ceremony, etc - and she's invited with a note to "bring someone."

Well, if she brought her partner, her asshole boss would probably stoke out. So I always go as her date. I'm presentable, I'm single, and I own a tux. So in return for pretending to be her boyfriend, I get to eat free food, drink free booze, and sometimes even go on overnights to DC or Atlanta. I'm her beard.

/best gig a guy could get
 
2012-06-29 03:18:28 PM  

filter: He'll get over it. Any bets how soon he remarries?


To John Travolta?
 
2012-06-29 03:19:01 PM  

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


So Michelle Bachmann is a "beard"?
 
2012-06-29 03:19:38 PM  

Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...



Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.
 
2012-06-29 03:19:44 PM  
He's ruined her for me.

/old and busted
 
2012-06-29 03:20:30 PM  

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


I would think that a publicist would be able to write at higher than a 10th grade level.
 
2012-06-29 03:21:31 PM  
I'm a publicist for ClosetMaid.com.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 03:22:40 PM  

Snargi: Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...


Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.


Oddly enough, I can picture him singing:

"I... don't know how to looove him"
 
2012-06-29 03:23:01 PM  

Lizard: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


I remember the comments section that post was first made in. That makes me feel both proud, and old. Sigh. You don't see it much anymore. When you do, it's only a line or two.
 
2012-06-29 03:24:16 PM  

ringersol: NewsFlash because... Scientologists have something on Drew?EVERYONE!


FTFY
 
2012-06-29 03:24:18 PM  
Katie Holmes doesn't understand the history of marriage.
 
2012-06-29 03:24:34 PM  
Katie eliminates Cruise control

/better headline
//beard is overused
 
2012-06-29 03:24:39 PM  
JackieRabbit

211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!



Bread and Circuses
 
2012-06-29 03:24:44 PM  

llfennell: I submitted this with a similar headline, but simple wins.

From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.

She's been heading out in NYC with no makeup lately. Tom Cruise hates hates hates this. Her publicist called her to tell her that Tom was getting mad that her hag look was ruining his reputation and she laughed and said "Good!"

/blindgossip


Very succinct and 99% true.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:25 PM  
Her father is a kick-ass divorce attorney. I suspect that any pre-nup and following legal stuff will be in her favor.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:28 PM  

Leeds: Snargi: Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...


Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Oddly enough, I can picture him singing:

"I... don't know how to looove him"


Judas sang it too.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:41 PM  

gremlin1: JackieRabbit

211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!


Bread Beard and Circuses


FTFY
 
2012-06-29 03:26:04 PM  

kpaxoid: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

So Michelle Bachmann is a "beard"?


static.bf2s.com


I mean, honestly,:
hammeroftruth.com
 
2012-06-29 03:26:45 PM  
How gay can he be? He did attend a Franciscan seminary and aspire to become a Catholic priest. Oh.... NEVERMIND
 
2012-06-29 03:27:11 PM  

farkingnotworking: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

QFT. As a straight chick, I would just like to say to all the closeted gay male movie stars out there who are no doubt reading this and hanging on every word I write: We don't care that you're gay. Really. It's not as if we are going to get to sleep with any of you good looking men-on-film, straight or otherwise, anyway. Our fantasy lives already have to be incredibly elaborate in order for us to achieve a convincing daydream about you--bracketing your gayness is no big deal.

Now, on the other hand, watching you take a gorgeous woman like Katie Holmes and reduce her to a sallow wraith with your web of deception and control--that kind of kills my clit boner. Just FYI.


I am captimidated.
 
2012-06-29 03:28:13 PM  
::flexes::

/subby
 
2012-06-29 03:30:29 PM  

bookacruiseship.com

RIP CRUISE

 
2012-06-29 03:34:06 PM  
blindgossip was ahead of the curve on this. I'll have to check them out a bit more when I get home.
 
2012-06-29 03:36:13 PM  
She's got the career she married hiim for, she's got the kid to enable a long-term financial shakedown, now she can grab the homes and the $$$ and complete her plan.

There is nothing remotely surprising contained in this news.
 
2012-06-29 03:36:46 PM  

Disposable Rob: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.


Technically, Scientology considers homosexuality on the same level of any other physical manifestation of past trauma (basically, it's all in your head and it can be audited out) be it this or a past life. And I mean that literally - I remember being told as a kid that needing glasses or being dyslexic (like Cruise is) was the same level of disorder as being gay, and not immoral or anything.

It's just that when someone starts bumping into poles after they should have been "cured", it's a lot easier to physically prove that someone still needs glasses, rather than they're still gay.

/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out
 
2012-06-29 03:37:42 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?



i116.photobucket.com
Apparently, her soul youth.
 
2012-06-29 03:41:01 PM  
Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory
 
2012-06-29 03:41:09 PM  

minorshan: Disposable Rob: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.

Technically, Scientology considers homosexuality on the same level of any other physical manifestation of past trauma (basically, it's all in your head and it can be audited out) be it this or a past life. And I mean that literally - I remember being told as a kid that needing glasses or being dyslexic (like Cruise is) was the same level of disorder as being gay, and not immoral or anything.

It's just that when someone starts bumping into poles after they should have been "cured", it's a lot easier to physically prove that someone still needs glasses, rather than they're still gay.

/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out


Glad you made it out as well as the whole family! The number of families torn apart by that "religion" is crazy. Institutionalized abuse is horrendous no matter how old that organization is.

/Hubbard was a hack
 
2012-06-29 03:42:30 PM  

Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."


www.seinfeld-fan.net
 
2012-06-29 03:42:33 PM  

SpectroBoy: [youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com image 600x450]


Has anyone posted this pic yet?


I was going to, but I have been trying to find out what the beard meme means.


/There's a gay guy named Buttknuckle in this thread.
 
2012-06-29 03:43:33 PM  
Ha!

// It's funny cause he's tiny...

img444.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 03:43:49 PM  
whirlwind romance and marriage = someone is getting boned up the butt.
I guess we all know who it was here.
 
2012-06-29 03:44:20 PM  
I blame myself.
 
2012-06-29 03:44:54 PM  
Run Baby Run. Run Far. Run Fast.
 
2012-06-29 03:45:09 PM  

JuicePats: ::flexes::

/subby


Take a bow..

...but not in front of Tom Cruise, amirite?
 
2012-06-29 03:45:33 PM  
I know it's been said, but damn good job subby.
 
2012-06-29 03:47:11 PM  

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


Interesting speculation. She's been with Ryan Seacrest for a while, that contract ought to be up soon, and it would definitely raise her profile. However, if Cruise goes too young it's going to end up getting him a lot of backlash for being creepy, which might make him think twice about going with her.
 
2012-06-29 03:47:44 PM  

cchris_39: Anybody know why when I click on certain articles they pop up over and over?


Scientology.
 
2012-06-29 03:48:57 PM  
She has the precursor to that chin thing that combines with jowls to make old Eastern European woman face.
 
2012-06-29 03:49:09 PM  
I am still at a loss as to how this is news flash material. Is the obvious tag broken? The headline is obvious, that's for sure. I wonder how many different people submitted that very same joke....

Anyway, I care as much about this as I do where TO is going to play football in the fall.
 
2012-06-29 03:49:42 PM  
She can wear heels again!
 
2012-06-29 03:49:46 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Subby should not have gotten rewarded for such low-hanging fruit*.


*like Tom Cruise.


Bravo. A short joke and a gay joke.
 
2012-06-29 03:50:30 PM  

rynthetyn: Expolaris: rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.

Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).

Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

Aren't there lots of rumors about Vin Diesel?


So I've heard, and I don't care. He's good at what he does, and I still want to see his take on Hannibal. Wentworth Miller is supposed to be gay, too, and he does action *and* drama well. I don't care.

I like it when dudes are 'out', it's more honest than being like transexuals who try to fool people. The mainstream cinema needs more gay couples. And the bonus would be they'd be Real instead of all the Fake Ass Lipstick Lesbians out there.

So Tommy just needs to be out, be himself, still play roles he does well in instead of being pigeonholed like in the 90s like poor Rupert Everett.. times have changed... he can do whatever he wants, he has the Triple A star rating.

Actually, he needs to do more gray roles. He shines in those, instead of the goody goody bullshiat.

Then he needs to leave the Scientology scam behind. (Yeah, scam, not cult, SCAM.)

Come back to the light, Tommy! Follow Katie to freedom!
 
2012-06-29 03:54:45 PM  

rynthetyn: Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory

Interesting speculation. She's been with Ryan Seacrest for a while, that contract ought to be up soon, and it would definitely raise her profile. However, if Cruise goes too young it's going to end up getting him a lot of backlash for being creepy, which might make him think twice about going with her.


I remember back in 2006 or whatever, hearing about the 5 year contract, and kind of laughed about it in an "wouldn't be surprised" kind way. But I didn't really think about much until now.

Reading your comments, I googled the two names, to see if it was possible that Cruise and the other chick were laying the groundwork for something- assuming this divorce wasn't exactly a surprise- and saw this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/julianne-hough-tom-cruise-la p -dance-rock-of-ages_n_1575422.html

"Rock of Ages" star Julianne Hough has a mad crush on her co-star Tom Cruise, and she is not exactly trying to hide it. The actress was on "LIVE! with Kelly" to discuss a scene that was so steamy, it had to be cut from the film.

"It was a little too hot and steamy and sexy, it will be on the director's cut, though ... Let's just say I'll always have that in my back pocket, that I gave Tom Cruise a lap dance," Hough said.

It's a shame, too, because Hough reportedly took her role as Sherrie Christian in "Rock of Ages" specifically for that lap dance. PopSugar caught up with the star at the Spike Guys' Choice Awards, where she gushed about Cruise.

"You have no idea, he is the sexiest thing I have seen, besides my boyfriend," she giggled. Hough and boyfriend Ryan Seacrest have been together for two years. He even faked a proposal on "American Idol" this year, much to viewing audiences' disappointment.


Oh, Hollywood. Yo so silly.
 
2012-06-29 03:59:22 PM  
Normally women this attractive can date again. But having been a part of a brainwashing cult, she is damaged goods and no one but someone in that cult would value her.
 
2012-06-29 03:59:44 PM  
Good for her.

Also ...

you are a puppet: Finally Chris Klein can see his kid?


LOL

What I want to know is: who is her replacement?

You know the cult wouldn't allow this to happen without the fresh beard waiting in the wings. A fellow cultist perhaps? Maybe Elisabeth Moss?
 
2012-06-29 04:00:04 PM  
sure, after he's wrecked her mind and vagina.


what an asshole.
 
2012-06-29 04:00:14 PM  
Just so you all know, a goatee is someone who marries a gay person... no wait, a goatee is someone who serves a gay person drinks..... no wait, thats a moustache. Van dyke, I mean van dyke.
Van dyke? Dyke? Hmm, maybe that's the beard, no, the opposite of a beard.
Crap, forget it.
 
2012-06-29 04:02:49 PM  
If my calculations are correct, he only needs one more wife and two more children until his spaceship is fully operational.
 
2012-06-29 04:02:53 PM  

AgentBang: Maybe he's going to finally stop running?

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


NEVER.
Have you seen the poster for his latest movie?

i865.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-29 04:03:22 PM  

GreatGlavinsGhost:
You know the cult wouldn't allow this to happen without the fresh beard waiting in the wings. A fellow cultist perhaps? Maybe Elisabeth Moss?


Elizabeth Moss in Scientology?

Say it ain't so . . .
 
2012-06-29 04:06:24 PM  

Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

blogs.babycenter.com

I love this picture of him and his family.


What's the use of having kids if you can't draw funny glasses on them with eyeliner? Funniest thing I've seen all week.

Plus, those kids are adorable chubmonsters. Everyone looks happy. Nice!

/teaching toddlers rude ditties is funny, too
 
2012-06-29 04:06:48 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


A beard is what allows a woman to attend a stoning. Just remember never to utter "Jehovah!"
 
2012-06-29 04:07:13 PM  

rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.


Yeah; I'm talking about the "above the title" last-name-is-all-you-need leading men.
 
2012-06-29 04:07:13 PM  

bulok: WHY Katie? I've finally accepted that you and I could never be so I decided to have a child with my wife and now you DO THIS?! HOW COULD YOU?!


Her?

/she must be funny or something
 
2012-06-29 04:07:57 PM  
How long until Kelly Preston finally has enough and kicks Travolta to the curb?
 
2012-06-29 04:08:01 PM  

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


I like your theory better than my stab in the dark.
 
2012-06-29 04:08:59 PM  

mjohnson71: rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.

Yeah; I'm talking about the "above the title" last-name-is-all-you-need leading men.


I think initials (NPH) is better than one last name.
 
2012-06-29 04:11:26 PM  
Well I guess Tom will need to spend some time in the John to think about this turn of events.
 
2012-06-29 04:11:29 PM  

llfennell: I submitted this with a similar headline, but simple wins.

From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.

She's been heading out in NYC with no makeup lately. Tom Cruise hates hates hates this. Her publicist called her to tell her that Tom was getting mad that her hag look was ruining his reputation and she laughed and said "Good!"

/blindgossip


I don't think that's completely true since the kid is Chris Klein's.
 
2012-06-29 04:12:29 PM  

Coco LaFemme: How long until Kelly Preston finally has enough and kicks Travolta to the curb?



...and then Kelly and Katie could get together and everything would be all right.
 
2012-06-29 04:14:31 PM  
If Mimi Rodgers and Nichole Kidman can't turn you straight, you're farking hopeless.

Katie is no slouch, but dear God, Mimi and Nichole are two of the most farkable women on the planet.
 
2012-06-29 04:15:44 PM  

Julieahni: Katie eliminates Cruise control

/better headline
//beard is overused


So "beard" has "jumped the shark"? Gotcha.
 
2012-06-29 04:17:37 PM  

spman: First John Travolta, now Tom Cruise, Xenu is going to be very displeased, quick feed him more money before he damages our thetans!


SCIENTOLOGY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
 
2012-06-29 04:18:10 PM  
I want to thank all the farkers that brought out the classics from yesteryear. I also want to thank all the farkers who fell for them again.

my two cents on the subject:
How much more of awesome of a movie would "Thank you for Smoking" have been if Tom didn't curtail Katie's sex scenes. No longer "Dawson's Creek" age nor "Go" young, but Katie presented at a brand new mature woman age.
 
2012-06-29 04:18:23 PM  
I'm a publicist for Suri Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 04:18:35 PM  
I'm not gay, but NPH's husband is a good looking dude. Seriously not gay.


/gay

/dammit i mean not gay.
 
2012-06-29 04:20:14 PM  

Expolaris: I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.


Niel Patrick Harris is much better at acting, period, than most "stars".
 
2012-06-29 04:22:49 PM  
Tom is 50 and Katie is 33? Looks like Tom needs to find a woman closer to his own age...who has a penis.

/ Yeah, I said it.
// So sue the pants off me Tommy.
/// Maybe I should have rephrased that.
 
2012-06-29 04:23:26 PM  

Crewmannumber6: pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

I would think that a publicist would be able to write at higher than a 10th grade level.


So this is what 10th grade education looks like now?
 
2012-06-29 04:24:17 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: rynthetyn: Expolaris: rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.

Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).

Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.

Aren't there lots of rumors about Vin Diesel?

So I've heard, and I don't care. He's good at what he does, and I still want to see his take on Hannibal. Wentworth Miller is supposed to be gay, too, and he does action *and* drama well. I don't care.

I like it when dudes are 'out', it's more honest than being like transexuals who try to fool people. The mainstream cinema needs more gay couples. And the bonus would be they'd be Real instead of all the Fake Ass Lipstick Lesbians out there.

So Tommy just needs to be out, be himself, still play roles he does well in instead of being pigeonholed like in the 90s like poor Rupert Everett.. times have changed... he can do whatever he wants, he has the Triple A star rating.

Actually, he needs to do more gray roles. He shines i ...


Vin Diesel is one of those guys who is clearly a lot smarter than a lot of his roles let on, and yeah, I would like to see his version of Hannibal too. Hollywood needs to let him do more of the nerdy projects that he seems to really be interested in.

I think that as much as Rupert Everett likes to insist that it's being out that killed his career, he needs to fess up that he did more to hurt his own career by being a general ass and not being a good enough actor that after he started losing his looks people were willing to put up with his being an ass. I'm sure being out hurt him some, but people probably would have been more willing to overlook that if he hadn't developed a reputation of being terrible to work with.

In any case, this is a different era than even a decade ago, as evidenced by the near total non-news of various actors coming out over the last few months. Nobody really seems to care anymore, even with actors coming out while their careers are on their way up. If Tom Cruise or John Travolta ever did come out, it would of course still be news because of all of the past history and everything, but a good publicist can spin even the bearding by painting them as victims of a less tolerant era. Even Travolta with his pervyness could end up getting an image boost and having everyone feeling sorry for him rather than repulsed by his masseuse antics if it's done right.

I just can't imagine what it would be like to go your entire career putting on an act and living a lie in order to stay in the closet. The closet is a horrible place to be and to live like that long term is enough to make you as batshiat crazy as Tom Cruise is.
 
2012-06-29 04:25:22 PM  

Brother_Mouzone: I'm not gay, but NPH's husband is a good looking dude. Seriously not gay.


/gay

/dammit i mean not gay.


Go ahead, be as gay as you want. It's cool. I encourage more gay guys to come out and have hot gay sex.

Real straight men aren't threatened by gay guys... they realize that if 2 dudes are farking each other that means there are 2 more available women in the dating pool. And if those women are farking each other too, that's totally not a problem either.
 
2012-06-29 04:25:53 PM  

PillsHere: I thought it was common knowledge they had a 5 year contract where he needed a beard and she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant. Although I've heard that she broke up with Chris because he had a drinking problem, but then I heard he broke up with her because he didn't want to be a dad. Anyway, Tom and Katie had the same publicist or agent or something who thought they could fulfill each other's needs. Chris Klein has almost the similar features to both of them so it wouldn't be suspicious.

//Don't really know anything, but that was always the speculation by most people. Most people seemed to at least know the 5 year contract part which has turned out to be true or at least this is highly coincidental. In the least we knew they would split before 10 years like he did with Nicole because once they hit 10 years in CA, she gets significantly more money regardless of a pre-nup (or so I've heard). I believe he filed for divorce from Nicole at almost exactly 10 years, but got in right under the wire.

//Why am I writing all this because I don't give a crap about any of them?


I thought she left Klein because she wanted to protect her "virginal" image. By getting married to a gay man, she could keep the kid and preserve her image. Klein started drinking after he was informed of the arrangement.
 
2012-06-29 04:26:50 PM  

farkingnotworking: QFT. As a straight chick, I would just like to say to all the closeted gay male movie stars out there who are no doubt reading this and hanging on every word I write: We don't care that you're gay. Really. It's not as if we are going to get to sleep with any of you good looking men-on-film, straight or otherwise, anyway. Our fantasy lives already have to be incredibly elaborate in order for us to achieve a convincing daydream about you--bracketing your gayness is no big deal.

Now, on the other hand, watching you take a gorgeous woman like Katie Holmes and reduce her to a sallow wraith with your web of deception and control--that kind of kills my clit boner. Just FYI.


O_o
woah
 
2012-06-29 04:28:05 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


Well lets see, he's got crotchfruit with penelope cruz, 2 with nicole kidman, and one with katie holmes.

/motherf*cker can't beat my record though
 
2012-06-29 04:31:57 PM  

StewMcG: Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory


Came for this, leaving satisfied.
 
2012-06-29 04:32:27 PM  

Jon Snow: rynthetyn: Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory

Interesting speculation. She's been with Ryan Seacrest for a while, that contract ought to be up soon, and it would definitely raise her profile. However, if Cruise goes too young it's going to end up getting him a lot of backlash for being creepy, which might make him think twice about going with her.

I remember back in 2006 or whatever, hearing about the 5 year contract, and kind of laughed about it in an "wouldn't be surprised" kind way. But I didn't really think about much until now.

Reading your comments, I googled the two names, to see if it was possible that Cruise and the other chick were laying the groundwork for something- assuming this divorce wasn't exactly a surprise- and saw this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/julianne-hough-tom-cruise-la p -dance-rock-of-ages_n_1575422.html

"Rock of Ages" star Julianne Hough has a mad crush on her co-star Tom Cruise, and she is not exactly trying to hide it. The actress was on "LIVE! with Kelly" to discuss a scene that was so steamy, it had to be cut from the film.

"It was a little too hot and steamy and sexy, it will be on the director's cut, though ... Let's just say I'll always have that in my back pocket, that I gave Tom Cruise a lap dance," Hough said.

It's a shame, too, because Hough reportedly took her role as Sherrie Christian in "Rock of Ages" specifically for that lap dance. PopSugar caught up with the star at the Spike Guys' Choice Awards, where she gushed about Cruise.

"You have no idea, he is the sexiest thing I have seen, besides my boyfr ...


Oooh, interesting, that certainly does look like an example of laying the groundwork for them to get together. I guess if she and Seacrest break up soon, it's only a matter of time before she ends up the new Mrs. Cruise.
 
2012-06-29 04:32:38 PM  

squealie: Could care less about him (or anyone else) being gay, just find the whole COS thing repulsive and deceptive in the extreme.
/Mimi Rogers' comments about him after their divorce *did* seal the deal for me on the gayness thing, though


Do tell.
 
2012-06-29 04:34:47 PM  
One of my favorite Adam Carolla stories is when Jimmy Kimmel invited Tom to watch football on Sunday and Tom showed up with his Mom and cupcakes. Yeah, he's totally straight.

/GET IT ON!
 
2012-06-29 04:35:57 PM  

wraithmare: minorshan:
/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out

Glad you made it out as well as the whole family! The number of families torn apart by that "religion" is crazy. Institutionalized abuse is horrendous no matter how old that organization is.

/Hubbard was a hack


Yes. Thankfully, despite being ministers, my folks never made enough money to get any farther than clear and told me and my brother that we could be any religion we wanted. In the end they were suckered in in the late 70s because the educational system and their dysfunctional families had failed them and they were looking for answers. Luckily, my mom was always skeptical of the Sea Org, and thought a million year contract was ridiculously excessive even when she believed it to be possible, and kept us kids at a long arms length from those kinds of things.

But when I fooled an E-Meter at age 8 (lied that I had learned anything from a course, because I didn't want to have to go to any more sessions) it kinda damaged the foundation that any later belief as a young adult would need. Which is probably why I thought who cares about a million year contract? How are they gonna know who I am after I've reincarnated? Suckers!

My folks are in the process of getting the $5k they had invested/saved with the COS. Once that's done, every last tie will have been severed. Well, except friends still in the COS, but I guess the Santa Barbara chapter was laid back because they still talk to my folks and no ones been declared an SP or anything.
 
2012-06-29 04:36:10 PM  

shastacola: A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Nowadays it is almost always used with a homosexual connotation, but it didn't start that way.

Back in the 1920s, the for a marriage as a cover for someone's homosexuality term was lavender marriage. Rock Hudson is probably the most famous example.

The 1990 movie Green Card had a plot with two heterosexuals who enter a sham marriage. I guess "beard" could apply to that as well.
 
2012-06-29 04:38:57 PM  
Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie
At least all his people tell him so
And while he thinks that she's a very special lady
It's probably not the way he'd choose to go

But a lifetime of longing looks would cause too much distraction
Good thing that he's not gay anymore

Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
Just be glad it's him, not you
If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too
You'd flash your big white shiny smile
And buy expensive shoes
But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise
 
2012-06-29 04:39:22 PM  

WarningMayContainPeanuts: One of my favorite Adam Carolla stories is when Jimmy Kimmel invited Tom to watch football on Sunday and Tom showed up with his Mom and cupcakes. Yeah, he's totally straight.

/GET IT ON!


For reals? That sounds like an elementary school play date.
 
2012-06-29 04:40:00 PM  

Snargi: Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...


Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.


That's hilarious.
 
2012-06-29 04:40:23 PM  
Guess she wasn't clear on things.
 
2012-06-29 04:41:37 PM  
I'm a publicist for Narnia.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 04:41:42 PM  

rynthetyn: Vin Diesel is one of those guys who is clearly a lot smarter than a lot of his roles let on, and yeah, I would like to see his version of Hannibal too. Hollywood needs to let him do more of the nerdy projects that he seems to really be interested in.


That's why i love him. He's the nerdy DND kid who picked up an interest in fitness later in life. He's geek to the core wrapped in a hell of an exterior. Listen to him talk about tabletop games, or comic books, you can hear the passion behind every word.

His work is often shameless, campy, but fun. And he knows it, and he revels in it.

www.exclaim.ca
/i always knew there was a reason i loved this movie.

He can fark dudes all day, every day for all i care, it seems to be working for him.

//just had to post this one too
us6.memecdn.com
 
2012-06-29 04:42:20 PM  

minorshan: wraithmare: minorshan:
/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out

Glad you made it out as well as the whole family! The number of families torn apart by that "religion" is crazy. Institutionalized abuse is horrendous no matter how old that organization is.

/Hubbard was a hack

Yes. Thankfully, despite being ministers, my folks never made enough money to get any farther than clear and told me and my brother that we could be any religion we wanted. In the end they were suckered in in the late 70s because the educational system and their dysfunctional families had failed them and they were looking for answers. Luckily, my mom was always skeptical of the Sea Org, and thought a million year contract was ridiculously excessive even when she believed it to be possible, and kept us kids at a long arms length from those kinds of things.

But when I fooled an E-Meter at age 8 (lied that I had learned anything from a course, because I didn't want to have to go to any more sessions) it kinda damaged the foundation that any later belief as a young adult would need. Which is probably why I thought who cares about a million year contract? How are they gonna know who I am after I've reincarnated? Suckers!

My folks are in the process of getting the $5k they had invested/saved with the COS. Once that's done, every last tie will have been severed. Well, except friends still in the COS, but I guess the Santa Barbara chapter was laid back because they still talk to my folks and no ones been declared an SP or anything.


Sorry to break it to you, but cults don't give refunds.

Also, water is wet.
 
2012-06-29 04:43:22 PM  
dammit you guys that was my damn headline!!!

/damn
 
2012-06-29 04:44:05 PM  

rynthetyn: Well, as much as the Trekkie, err, sorry, Trekker nerds like to complain about J.J. Abrams turning Star Trek into a popcorn action movie, Zachary Quinto as action-hero-Spock is about the closest thing we've got at the moment to an out action hero, though he's not remotely in the big, burly category.


But Spock isn't a romantic action hero, or a human male. It's about being sexual - Ian McKellen is, arguably, the biggest gay action actor ever, having played Magneto and Gandalf, but neither are sexual characters. You could probably have Professor X played by a gay character.

But I doubt you'll have a gay Kirk or a gay Han Solo anytime soon.
 
2012-06-29 04:44:10 PM  

ciberido: shastacola: A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?

Nowadays it is almost always used with a homosexual connotation, but it didn't start that way.

Back in the 1920s, the for a marriage as a cover for someone's homosexuality term was lavender marriage. Rock Hudson is probably the most famous example.

The 1990 movie Green Card had a plot with two heterosexuals who enter a sham marriage. I guess "beard" could apply to that as well.


It's used in Woody Allen's "Braodway Danny Rose" only it refers to him being the date to his married client's girlfriend. Does that sentence make sense?
 
2012-06-29 04:44:14 PM  

H31N0US: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

[images.eonline.com image 300x300]

Me too.


www.geekosystem.com
 
2012-06-29 04:45:17 PM  

Somacandra: I prefer the shooped one on the left.


*shakes tiny fist in rage*
 
2012-06-29 04:46:01 PM  
Nice work, subby. Sea org going crazy; passing memos, digging-up dirt, lol.
 
2012-06-29 04:47:25 PM  

ph0rk: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?


[i116.photobucket.com image 210x262]
Apparently, her soul youth.


Back when, yeah. Now, post Cruise, probably not enough beer.
 
2012-06-29 04:48:16 PM  

CheneyPepperedMe: Somacandra: Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES

I thought I remembered reading that the story was that when she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks and they conveniently changed it to be Tom Cruise. Also, something about having a Tom Hanks poster in her room.


Oh dude, you just made my day! LMAO! ....tears.

I love this thread so much.
 
2012-06-29 04:48:21 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: GreatGlavinsGhost:
You know the cult wouldn't allow this to happen without the fresh beard waiting in the wings. A fellow cultist perhaps? Maybe Elisabeth Moss?

Elizabeth Moss in Scientology?

Say it ain't so . . .


Sorry. It is.
 
2012-06-29 04:50:19 PM  

AirborneBuckeye: How gay can he be? He did attend a Franciscan seminary and aspire to become a Catholic priest. Oh.... NEVERMIND


Actually I was there with him and I can say without a doubt there was no ass boning that I witnessed the entire week. - seriously