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(Sky.com) NewsFlash Tom Cruise shaves beard   ( news.sky.com) divider line
    More: NewsFlash, Tom Cruise, Dawson's Creek, Mimi Rogers, movie musicals, beards, Nicole Kidman  
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29634 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Jun 2012 at 2:22 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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469 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-06-29 03:09:27 PM  
Well at least now him and Travolta can date.
 
2012-06-29 03:09:30 PM  
She was cute until she got herpes from Tom.
 
2012-06-29 03:09:39 PM  
I immediately thought of this bit from a Family Guy episode.

Katie free.

/Terrible quality on this video.
 
2012-06-29 03:10:02 PM  

Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...


She's really hairy. Like a silverback
 
2012-06-29 03:10:18 PM  

llfennell: From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.


This rumor has been floating around awhile (since they married). The fact that it's been 5 years and she's seeking a divorce seems to lend a little credence to the rumor.
 
2012-06-29 03:10:43 PM  
encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-06-29 03:11:02 PM  
Tom Cruise is in love with...Tom Cruise!
 
2012-06-29 03:11:56 PM  

Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."


That's true. Milhouse, etc.

But my problem is that "meme" seems to have changed from "common, catchy idea" to "people putting different words on the same picture". So, fark that anyways.
 
2012-06-29 03:12:02 PM  

Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)


Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.
 
2012-06-29 03:12:21 PM  

Rawry: [encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 183x275]


Gah! What is that?
 
2012-06-29 03:12:24 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Beard (companion)
 
2012-06-29 03:13:43 PM  
If anyone wants to re-read the transcript of Tom Cruise losing his shiate about psychology- here it is: Matt Lauer schools Tom Cruise

There is some serious comedy gold in that douchbag's meltdown. :)

Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...
 
2012-06-29 03:14:41 PM  
211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!
 
2012-06-29 03:15:45 PM  

borg: Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)

Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.


It was actually just earlier this year that a court finally threw out a libel case on the grounds that calling somebody gay wasn't libel. My torts casebook from last year still included accusing someone of being homosexual as a libel tort.
 
2012-06-29 03:16:08 PM  

gunther_bumpass: Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."

That's true. Milhouse, etc.

But my problem is that "meme" seems to have changed from "common, catchy idea" to "people putting different words on the same picture". So, fark that anyways.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-29 03:16:39 PM  

borg: Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

Liberace successfully sued a couple of rags who called him a homosexual & I think most of Cruise's were settled out of court. Suing for libel these days because someone called you a homosexual would get you laughed out of court and a trial date sometime in the next thirty years.


I am pretty sure he also sued in England where those cases go much better for the plaintiff.
 
2012-06-29 03:17:18 PM  

Hermione_Granger: sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.

Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)


You can sue for slander. You can't sue for racism.
 
2012-06-29 03:18:26 PM  

metaskie: So, I don't get the "beard" meme. Anyone help a lurker out?


Aw, people keep giving you definitions, but here's how it works:

I have a friend I've known for years (since college) who's a research chemist for a VERY uptight Big Pharma company. She's gay. Every couple of months there's a function of some sort - a dinner, a reception for a visiting researcher, a ceremony, etc - and she's invited with a note to "bring someone."

Well, if she brought her partner, her asshole boss would probably stoke out. So I always go as her date. I'm presentable, I'm single, and I own a tux. So in return for pretending to be her boyfriend, I get to eat free food, drink free booze, and sometimes even go on overnights to DC or Atlanta. I'm her beard.

/best gig a guy could get
 
2012-06-29 03:18:28 PM  

filter: He'll get over it. Any bets how soon he remarries?


To John Travolta?
 
2012-06-29 03:19:01 PM  

shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.


So Michelle Bachmann is a "beard"?
 
2012-06-29 03:19:38 PM  

Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...



Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.
 
2012-06-29 03:19:44 PM  
He's ruined her for me.

/old and busted
 
2012-06-29 03:20:30 PM  

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


I would think that a publicist would be able to write at higher than a 10th grade level.
 
2012-06-29 03:21:31 PM  
I'm a publicist for ClosetMaid.com.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2012-06-29 03:22:40 PM  

Snargi: Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...


Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.


Oddly enough, I can picture him singing:

"I... don't know how to looove him"
 
2012-06-29 03:23:01 PM  

Lizard: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.


I remember the comments section that post was first made in. That makes me feel both proud, and old. Sigh. You don't see it much anymore. When you do, it's only a line or two.
 
2012-06-29 03:24:16 PM  

ringersol: NewsFlash because... Scientologists have something on Drew?EVERYONE!


FTFY
 
2012-06-29 03:24:18 PM  
Katie Holmes doesn't understand the history of marriage.
 
2012-06-29 03:24:34 PM  
Katie eliminates Cruise control

/better headline
//beard is overused
 
2012-06-29 03:24:39 PM  
JackieRabbit

211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!



Bread and Circuses
 
2012-06-29 03:24:44 PM  

llfennell: I submitted this with a similar headline, but simple wins.

From what I've read, Katie signed a 5 year contract, part of the provision was to give birth to a child via artificial insemination of Cruises. After the 5 years was up, she could retain primary custody of the child and go about her business, with a gag order on anything Scientology.

She's been heading out in NYC with no makeup lately. Tom Cruise hates hates hates this. Her publicist called her to tell her that Tom was getting mad that her hag look was ruining his reputation and she laughed and said "Good!"

/blindgossip


Very succinct and 99% true.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:25 PM  
Her father is a kick-ass divorce attorney. I suspect that any pre-nup and following legal stuff will be in her favor.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:28 PM  

Leeds: Snargi: Leeds: Let's hope this divorce makes him suicidal.

I'd love to hear a news report about how he threw himself under a bigwheel or was carried off by a hawk or something...


Not gonna happen. Cruise found out he has some serious vocal chops while making Rock of Ages. He'll probably start a hair band with a bunch of "real" aging rockers and go on a world tour. Or worse yet, get the lead in a national touring company's production of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Oddly enough, I can picture him singing:

"I... don't know how to looove him"


Judas sang it too.
 
2012-06-29 03:25:41 PM  

gremlin1: JackieRabbit

211 posts to this thread in just a few minutes. Please tell me that people don't care so much about this whacked little meat puppet.

But great headline, Subby!


Bread Beard and Circuses


FTFY
 
2012-06-29 03:26:04 PM  

kpaxoid: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

So Michelle Bachmann is a "beard"?


static.bf2s.com


I mean, honestly,:
hammeroftruth.com
 
2012-06-29 03:26:45 PM  
How gay can he be? He did attend a Franciscan seminary and aspire to become a Catholic priest. Oh.... NEVERMIND
 
2012-06-29 03:27:11 PM  

farkingnotworking: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

QFT. As a straight chick, I would just like to say to all the closeted gay male movie stars out there who are no doubt reading this and hanging on every word I write: We don't care that you're gay. Really. It's not as if we are going to get to sleep with any of you good looking men-on-film, straight or otherwise, anyway. Our fantasy lives already have to be incredibly elaborate in order for us to achieve a convincing daydream about you--bracketing your gayness is no big deal.

Now, on the other hand, watching you take a gorgeous woman like Katie Holmes and reduce her to a sallow wraith with your web of deception and control--that kind of kills my clit boner. Just FYI.


I am captimidated.
 
2012-06-29 03:28:13 PM  
::flexes::

/subby
 
2012-06-29 03:30:29 PM  

bookacruiseship.com

RIP CRUISE

 
2012-06-29 03:34:06 PM  
blindgossip was ahead of the curve on this. I'll have to check them out a bit more when I get home.
 
2012-06-29 03:36:13 PM  
She's got the career she married hiim for, she's got the kid to enable a long-term financial shakedown, now she can grab the homes and the $$$ and complete her plan.

There is nothing remotely surprising contained in this news.
 
2012-06-29 03:36:46 PM  

Disposable Rob: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.


Technically, Scientology considers homosexuality on the same level of any other physical manifestation of past trauma (basically, it's all in your head and it can be audited out) be it this or a past life. And I mean that literally - I remember being told as a kid that needing glasses or being dyslexic (like Cruise is) was the same level of disorder as being gay, and not immoral or anything.

It's just that when someone starts bumping into poles after they should have been "cured", it's a lot easier to physically prove that someone still needs glasses, rather than they're still gay.

/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out
 
2012-06-29 03:37:42 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?



i116.photobucket.com
Apparently, her soul youth.
 
2012-06-29 03:41:01 PM  
Since it looks like all of Tom's beards... uhh... I mean ex-wives are around 11 years younger than the one before (Mimi Rogers b. 1956, Nicole Kidman b. 1967, Katie Holmes b. 1978), I'm betting he's looking for someone around 23 years old.

Enter Julianne Hough. She's 23 (b. 1988 - so only 10 years younger than Katie), she's experienced as a beard (she's currently "dating" Ryan Seacrest), and she just starred in "Rock of Ages" with Tom. They could claim they fell in love during the filming but, because Tom was still married, it would have been wrong to act on those supposed feelings. Now that Katie's leaving him, it would be OK for them to go out as a "couple".

/just a theory
 
2012-06-29 03:41:09 PM  

minorshan: Disposable Rob: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Pants full of macaroni!!: Katie is free again - but at what cost?

How long until all of Clearwater hunts her down and forces her back to SeaOrg (or whatever it's called)?

I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.

Technically, Scientology considers homosexuality on the same level of any other physical manifestation of past trauma (basically, it's all in your head and it can be audited out) be it this or a past life. And I mean that literally - I remember being told as a kid that needing glasses or being dyslexic (like Cruise is) was the same level of disorder as being gay, and not immoral or anything.

It's just that when someone starts bumping into poles after they should have been "cured", it's a lot easier to physically prove that someone still needs glasses, rather than they're still gay.

/Yes, Ex-Scientology kid
//Began seeing thru the bullshiat @ age 8
///Thankfully the whole family eventually made their way out


Glad you made it out as well as the whole family! The number of families torn apart by that "religion" is crazy. Institutionalized abuse is horrendous no matter how old that organization is.

/Hubbard was a hack
 
2012-06-29 03:42:30 PM  

Unhip1: A "beard" is a woman who accompanies a gay man in attempts to covering up his gayness from the public.

It's not a "meme," it's slang.

Not everything's a "meme."


www.seinfeld-fan.net
 
2012-06-29 03:42:33 PM  

SpectroBoy: [youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com image 600x450]


Has anyone posted this pic yet?


I was going to, but I have been trying to find out what the beard meme means.


/There's a gay guy named Buttknuckle in this thread.
 
2012-06-29 03:43:33 PM  
Ha!

// It's funny cause he's tiny...

img444.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 03:43:49 PM  
whirlwind romance and marriage = someone is getting boned up the butt.
I guess we all know who it was here.
 
2012-06-29 03:44:20 PM  
I blame myself.
 
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