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(Sky.com) NewsFlash Tom Cruise shaves beard   (news.sky.com ) divider line
    More: NewsFlash, Tom Cruise, Dawson's Creek, Mimi Rogers, movie musicals, beards, Nicole Kidman  
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29632 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Jun 2012 at 2:22 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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470 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2012-06-29 02:38:17 PM  

Get Your Dick Out Of My Food: him and eddie murphy should just totally date.


I don't think Johnny Gill would be down for that. How does Tommy Girl look in a dress, anyway?
 
2012-06-29 02:38:22 PM  
Now, because Katie actually filed the petition of dissolution, shouldn't the headline have been "Beard shaves Tom Cruise"?
 
2012-06-29 02:38:41 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


If the next Star Trek rakes in as much money as expected, Zachary Quinto will be well on his way to "major Hollywood action star" status and nobody gives a fark that he's out, so that day may come sooner rather than later.

/now if only Jeremy Renner would drop the "the guy I live with is my business partner and I'm just too busy to date" talking point
 
2012-06-29 02:39:06 PM  
youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com
 
2012-06-29 02:39:19 PM  
Fires, Homelessness and Fraud...

And THIS is important?
 
2012-06-29 02:39:22 PM  

Silly Jesus: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

Ah ok. Thanks. I have three beards then.


A beard can also be a person who dates or marries a straight person to convince that straight person's ex to go the fark away :)

It's really, just anyone you're "dating" as a disguise...
 
2012-06-29 02:39:31 PM  

Disposable Rob: I wonder if Scientology might be backing down on their homophobia. With droves of actors coming out the past few years and with Scientology relying on Hollywood starpower, this can't be helping their recruiting efforts at all. While I doubt Cruise will ever come out, with Travolta it's impossible to hide anymore.


maybe they tried some sort of Clockwork method to cure what they perceive as a problem, but instead wind up reinforcing it
 
2012-06-29 02:39:51 PM  

Walker: Yeah, there have been blind gossip items about this for months saying they were going to get divorced. Sometimes the gossip is true!

Here's a blind item from May 21:

This actress - who worked much more several years ago than she does now - has found the perfect way to annoy her controlling husband. He always insisted that she not step foot out of the house unless she was looking her best (full hair, makeup, clothes) because she was a "reflection of his image".

But now that they have quietly separated, she consistently walks out of the house in casual clothes and messy hair and no makeup (even when her destination isn't the gym). Of course, the paparazzi are there, just waiting to snap her photo. Her publicist called and said, "Do you realize how much you're pissing him off when you do that?" She replied, "Absolutely!" and giggled. Sounds like it's just her little way of reclaiming her life.

[img.photobucket.com image 445x529]
/her identity concealed for her protection (but yeah it's Katie)


Katie's got her smirk back!
Tom just needs to be with his short asian pilot boyfriends and be done with it.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:51 PM  

balancing act: monoski: I thought my headline might have gotten me one:

Dudes, Katie Holmes is going back on the market. Gay dudes, so is Tom Cruise

That was pretty good too !


Gay dudes (like myself) want nothing to do with that freakshow.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:52 PM  

pstudent12: I'm a publicist for Tom Cruise.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.



Tom is a TOOL of the Scientology CULT.
Katie was suckered into it after Tom interviewed starlets to join his Xenu Squad III.
 
2012-06-29 02:39:58 PM  

LeroyBourne: ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.


I'm fairly certain -- without even having read it -- that the prenup she signed in CA would utterly, completely, strictly prohibit her even WRITING a book such as that, let alone publishing one.
 
2012-06-29 02:40:30 PM  

llfennell: with Scientology handlers finding ways to plant influence in her life, will make the remainder of Katie's motherhood quite simply, a living hell.


i.imgur.com

Wow. Sounds like you need some reassessment of your ARC triangle.
 
2012-06-29 02:41:31 PM  
Maybe he's going to finally stop running?

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-06-29 02:41:45 PM  
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark] 2012-06-29 02:27:12 PM

I'm not normally one to b*tch about headlines, but the fact that this got greenlit over the anal sex headline is one of the greatest miscarriages of justice in American history.


Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay. Drew does not need to be next (even if he does allow people to be racist pigs on Fark.)
 
2012-06-29 02:41:47 PM  
Headline of the year FTW!
 
2012-06-29 02:42:01 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

blogs.babycenter.com

I love this picture of him and his family.
 
2012-06-29 02:42:25 PM  

Hermione_Granger: Tom Cruise has already successfully sued a couple of rags over calling him gay


they were all wishing him to be happy, does he not want to be happy?
 
2012-06-29 02:42:36 PM  

Somacandra: Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES


I thought I remembered reading that the story was that when she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks and they conveniently changed it to be Tom Cruise. Also, something about having a Tom Hanks poster in her room.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:09 PM  
So she produced a child and put in the time required by her contract. She fulfilled her obligations and gets her payout. All parties involved got what they wanted and the deal is done. Business as usual.

/now he'll swear off marriage but be seen in the company of beautiful women and able to spend time with his new male "assistant"
 
2012-06-29 02:43:14 PM  

you have pee hands: Don't Scientologists disavow the existence of homosexuality?


Hubbard's books treat it within the context of mental health thought when they were written, so yeah the books say its pathological. But that's not the same thing as current COS policy.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:21 PM  

filter: He'll get over it. Any bets how soon he remarries?


Depends on how soon Prop 8 gets overturned, and whether there's a guy out there who wants him.
 
2012-06-29 02:43:24 PM  
Where were you farkers who don't know what a beard is when Michelle Bachman was sucking corn dog?
 
2012-06-29 02:44:06 PM  

beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite


The Germans giving birth to several million jews?
 
2012-06-29 02:44:10 PM  

Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.


That is an AWESOME Captain Hook costume
 
2012-06-29 02:44:19 PM  

GaidinBDJ: When I try to describe Fark to people, these are the kinds of headlines I use.


And they slowly back away.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:26 PM  

CheneyPepperedMe: she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks


Don't be silly. No one wants to marry Tom Hanks.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:32 PM  
Guess she can go back to crawling through Dawson's window again.
 
2012-06-29 02:44:38 PM  
Let me be the 50th to say, today I learned a new word. Thank you Farkers.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:08 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


images.eonline.com

Me too.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:16 PM  

IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?


oh no you didn't
 
2012-06-29 02:45:23 PM  
Katie just went "show me the money!"
 
2012-06-29 02:45:24 PM  

CheneyPepperedMe: Somacandra: Normally I couldn't care less about this sort of thing. But for some reason this really does make me sad. I remember that time Katie gave that interview about being a little girl and telling people she was going to marry Tom Cruise. And then it came true. There's something profoundly sad about that. OK, BACK TO TEH GHEY JOKES

I thought I remembered reading that the story was that when she was much younger she told people she wanted to marry Tom Hanks and they conveniently changed it to be Tom Cruise. Also, something about having a Tom Hanks poster in her room.


Ha! One of them is known for being in Big.
The other one is known for being Small.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:42 PM  

IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?


In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.
 
2012-06-29 02:45:59 PM  

texdent: Guess she can go back to crawling through Dawson's window again.


Sweet!
 
2012-06-29 02:46:19 PM  

cchris_39: Anybody know why when I click on certain articles they pop up over and over?


Because you have Parkinson's?
 
2012-06-29 02:46:27 PM  

Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.


NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.
 
2012-06-29 02:46:56 PM  
Katie has executed the 5-year out clause. The marriage has not raised her fame by the required margin. She requests her contracted 5-year bonus, and waives all claims to the 7-year and 10-year bonuses she could have received. As part of this 5-year bonus, she agrees to abide by the original non-disclosure agreement.
 
2012-06-29 02:46:57 PM  
Well, at least Katie's rectum is getting a well deserved break.

Hope she denounces $cientology, too.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:06 PM  
I thought it was common knowledge they had a 5 year contract where he needed a beard and she needed a baby daddy for Chris Klein's kid since they broke up when she got pregnant. Although I've heard that she broke up with Chris because he had a drinking problem, but then I heard he broke up with her because he didn't want to be a dad. Anyway, Tom and Katie had the same publicist or agent or something who thought they could fulfill each other's needs. Chris Klein has almost the similar features to both of them so it wouldn't be suspicious.

//Don't really know anything, but that was always the speculation by most people. Most people seemed to at least know the 5 year contract part which has turned out to be true or at least this is highly coincidental. In the least we knew they would split before 10 years like he did with Nicole because once they hit 10 years in CA, she gets significantly more money regardless of a pre-nup (or so I've heard). I believe he filed for divorce from Nicole at almost exactly 10 years, but got in right under the wire.

//Why am I writing all this because I don't give a crap about any of them?
 
2012-06-29 02:47:27 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: Expolaris: I love this picture of him and his family.

That is an AWESOME Captain Hook costume


He must know people in costume design / show business.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:30 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: shastacola: Silly Jesus: I don't get the beard reference...

A beard is a person that dates or marries a gay person so that person can stay in the closet.

Damn, learned something new today


Ditto. My best guess was a "bearded clam" joke of some sort.
 
2012-06-29 02:47:54 PM  

pics.celebritycarsblog.com

R.I.P SHERLOCK HOLMES AND HIS FABULOUS CRUISE



...I got nothin'...
 
2012-06-29 02:47:57 PM  

H31N0US: Me too.


i.imgur.com

I prefer the shooped one on the left.
 
2012-06-29 02:48:24 PM  

rynthetyn: Expolaris: mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.

I present Neil Patrick Harris. Openly gay megastar. Does TV, Movies, Broadway, the usual triple threat for making the big bucks.

and is way better at acting straight than most straight men.

[blogs.babycenter.com image 550x413]

I love this picture of him and his family.

NPH doesn't isn't a Hollywood action hero though, which is what mjohnson71 was talking about.


Ahhh....yeah. He's not really the action star type (though i would totally watch that movie).

That'll be the day if we can get a huge Vin Diesel kind of guy who is big , burly, and openly gay. I hate to go to video games, but like a real life Zangief (oh yes he's Gay, and he wants to make sweet soviet love to that man ass).
 
2012-06-29 02:48:33 PM  

Karma Curmudgeon: IXI Jim IXI: beta_plus: /Remember the Holocaust?
//Picture the exact opposite

The Germans giving birth to several million jews?

In bizarro world, the Diary of Anne Frank is a comedic masterpiece.


Dude. It's not cool to make fun of the blind.
 
2012-06-29 02:49:07 PM  

dramboxf: LeroyBourne: ugh, she's tainted. I know it'll never happen, but just think of a 'tell-all' book she could write. Farking creepy.

I'm fairly certain -- without even having read it -- that the prenup she signed in CA would utterly, completely, strictly prohibit her even WRITING a book such as that, let alone publishing one.


Like I said, 'i know it'll never happen,' he'd sue her faster than he runs. But she has close friends, and rumors be rumors.
 
2012-06-29 02:49:37 PM  
So long, and thanks for all the herpes!
 
2012-06-29 02:49:57 PM  

Another Government Employee: Fires, Homelessness and Fraud...

And THIS is important?


Important enough for you to comment on. And I see my tax dollars are hard at work too.

/Welcome to Fark, etc.
 
2012-06-29 02:50:16 PM  

mjohnson71: I'm looking forward to the day that a major Hollywood action star can be out of the closet, and nobody really gives a flying fark.

/Straight, but not narrow.


Does some Nascar driver sponsored by McD's go out and say he prefers 5 Guys?

Cruise may prefer 5 Guys but he needs women to believe in the illusion that they are up to the Impossible Mission of getting at his Top Gun because he actually might want them.
 
2012-06-29 02:50:33 PM  
p.twimg.com

/hot like this thread
 
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