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(TC Palm)   Neighbor: You wait here, I'm going to kick your ass... I just gotta go home and poop first   (blogs.tcpalm.com) divider line 50
    More: Florida, bowels  
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9852 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jun 2012 at 11:51 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-28 09:26:41 PM
"I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

Mothers typically do not like being called dirty whores.


That's some good reportin' there.
 
2012-06-28 09:28:44 PM
And this, folks, is why fark has a img1.fark.net tag.
 
2012-06-28 10:01:07 PM
It wasn't immediately clear whether Gernot defecated prior to being taken to jail.

That's some fine reportin' there, Lou.
 
2012-06-28 11:02:20 PM
Oh, fudge
 
2012-06-28 11:07:29 PM
 
2012-06-28 11:21:06 PM
Bathia_Mapes:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 287x175]


That'd be a damned sight funnier if I hadn't actually experienced it

/Aunt Pearl was old school
//and she didn't take ANY sh*t
 
2012-06-28 11:27:40 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 287x175]

That'd be a damned sight funnier if I hadn't actually experienced it

/Aunt Pearl was old school
//and she didn't take ANY sh*t


My grandma preferred Lava. Mmmm...gritty!
 
2012-06-28 11:28:56 PM
Maybe he was scared shiatless.
 
2012-06-28 11:37:09 PM
Bathia_Mapes: My grandma preferred Lava. Mmmm...gritty!

AP was an Ivory gal

/99 and 44/100% nasty tasting
 
2012-06-28 11:46:19 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: My grandma preferred Lava. Mmmm...gritty!

AP was an Ivory gal

/99 and 44/100% nasty tasting


We had Ivory for bathing, but Lava was the soap of choice at the bathroom sink. It not only got all the dirt off the hands of my sister & myself after a hard day of playing outside, but since my grandma was an avid gardener (decorative & vegetable), she used it too.
 
2012-06-28 11:53:00 PM
dahmers love zombie: "I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

Mothers typically do not like being called dirty whores.

That's some good reportin' there.


Trying not to wake anyone up laughing at that gem.
 
2012-06-28 11:56:10 PM
At least the pooper didn't go over to his neighbor's place armed and trying to lure the neighbor outside.

/Subby, I'm going to kick your (expletive) (buttocks)
 
2012-06-28 11:57:47 PM
Meanwhile, the neighbor told a deputy he planted a plant in Gernot's mother's yard.

"I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

i246.photobucket.com

The dirty hoe actually referred to
 
2012-06-28 11:57:52 PM
You're mother's a typical dirty whore.
 
2012-06-28 11:59:25 PM
Hector Remarkable: You're mother's a typical dirty whore.
Your mother.
 
2012-06-29 12:00:45 AM
"He started calling his mother a dirty whore."
i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-29 12:02:05 AM
I find this article strangely uninteresting. So I'm going to sing.

"The....HILLS are alive......with the sound of Muuuuusic...."
 
2012-06-29 12:02:52 AM
dahmers love zombie: "I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

Mothers typically do not like being called dirty whores.

That's some good reportin' there.


Clearly he doesn't know subby's mom like I know subby's mom.
 
2012-06-29 12:04:35 AM
It's not a good fight unless both combatants have lost control of their bowels.
 
2012-06-29 12:05:25 AM
Buttocks..Bowels..What do these words mean?

/I'm scared.
 
2012-06-29 12:06:10 AM
What, no hero tag?
 
2012-06-29 12:09:01 AM
I can see the strategy. It saves the other fella from being able to say he was full of shiat or that he beat the shiat out of him. shiat.
 
2012-06-29 12:10:57 AM
cdn.screenrant.com

I have come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum ...and I'm all out of clean underwear.
 
2012-06-29 12:11:18 AM
Post Poop Posterior Pummeling

Would be a great name for a gay punk rock band.

And yes, without commas you could take that to mean that a punk rock band would be gay if they had the name Post Poop Posterior Pummeling.
Or, you could take it to mean that punk rock bands are gay regardless of the name.
Or, you could take it to mean that Post Poop Posterior Pummeling would be a great name for a punk rock band made up of gay guys.
 
2012-06-29 12:11:49 AM
Hell I might have to use that sometime. If some drunk asshole at a bar is trying to start a fight and you come out with "All right, I'm gonna kick your ass, but I gotta go home and poop first"; it would probably confuse him and make him laugh, thus diffusing the situation.

You guys try it first and post how it turned out.
 
2012-06-29 12:13:00 AM

"Gernot, of Monterey Way, initially told a St. Lucie County Sheriff's deputy the neighbor came to his home and began a conversation.

"I told him I was in a bad mood and didn't want to talk," Gernot is quoted as telling a deputy."


The neighbor was only trying to get payment for those rotary club dinner tickets.

img20.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-29 12:13:26 AM
As soon as I read the "mothers typically don't" line, I looked up at the header. Should have known it was this hack from his absolutely abominable attempt at alliteration. Every damn article he writes has the same toying speechcraft. I would never tell someone they need to try something different, like praeteritio, but it couldn't hurt.
 
2012-06-29 12:13:46 AM
Maybe the reporter attended Romero University?

encrypted-tbn2.google.com
 
2012-06-29 12:15:42 AM
What could be called the case of the post poop planned posterior pummeling played out June 17


This kind of alliteration makes me feel stabby.
 
2012-06-29 12:50:40 AM
rooftop235: Maybe the reporter attended Romero University?

[encrypted-tbn2.google.com image 265x190]


i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-29 01:29:29 AM
"I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

Mothers typically do not like being called a dirty whore. "

It wasn't immediately clear whether Gernot defecated prior to being taken to jail.

You can hear the reporter silently screaming "I've got a masters in journalism and you have me covering this!?!"
 
2012-06-29 01:31:42 AM
Okay, poop is coming out.
 
2012-06-29 02:03:02 AM
pxlboy: dahmers love zombie: "I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

Mothers typically do not like being called dirty whores.

That's some good reportin' there.

Trying not to wake anyone up laughing at that gem.


It'd be worth waking them up to see this Pulitzer-prize winning reporting.
 
2012-06-29 02:03:02 AM
Well, I know that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on delivering an arse whoopin' if I had to take a really big dump...
 
2012-06-29 02:05:01 AM
Sopwith: "I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

Mothers typically do not like being called a dirty whore. "

It wasn't immediately clear whether Gernot defecated prior to being taken to jail.

You can hear the reporter silently screaming "I've got a masters in journalism and you have me covering this!?!"


actually i imagined the reporter smiling smugly to themselves for their fine piece of humor.. it's for the "wacky news" column...
 
2012-06-29 03:29:23 AM
dahmers love zombie: "I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

Mothers typically do not like being called dirty whores.

That's some good reportin' there.


That's a lie, I've been with a few women were mothers that loved being called dirty whores.
 
182 [TotalFark]
2012-06-29 04:33:53 AM
a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
 
2012-06-29 04:56:34 AM
notice Gernot sounds like it could be a beer or a cigarette. that's what's throwing my train off track.

/easily confused
 
2012-06-29 05:54:09 AM
I miss FL.
 
2012-06-29 06:01:06 AM
Bathia_Mapes: And this, folks, is why fark has a [img1.fark.net image 54x11] tag.

To be fair, we can only claim Port St. Lousy geographically. Demographically speaking, it's New York.
 
2012-06-29 06:54:56 AM
Have you all no sympathy for this man? What could be worse than being in the middle of a fight and having shiat flying out your pant leg?

His mom sounds like she's more fun than he is.
 
2012-06-29 07:07:17 AM
A 54-year-old man was arrested after sheriff's investigators say he threatened to kick a neighbor's buttocks after moving his bowels.

Perhaps they were in the way?
 
2012-06-29 08:30:33 AM
I've been there. When you gotta go...it takes precedence.

The other thing that would have made it better is if he had gone to take the dump in the other guys house. Sort of a Najeh Davenport move.
 
2012-06-29 08:35:12 AM
KrispyKritter: notice Gernot sounds like it could be a beer or a cigarette. that's what's throwing my train off track.

/easily confused


www.thrashermagazine.com
 
2012-06-29 08:38:58 AM
dahmers love zombie: "I gave Gernot a beer and cigarette," the neighbor told a deputy. "He started calling his mother a dirty whore."

Mothers typically do not like being called dirty whores.

That's some good reportin' there.


My mom sure doesn't. She takes regular whore baths. She is a professional whore.
 
2012-06-29 08:57:56 AM
Ashtrey: .

You guys try it first and post how it turned out.


First, I'm going to hand this guy a ciggarette (loaded) and a beer (with a few eyedrops in it). and see how he handles it.

The Bugs Bunny approach, I call it.
 
2012-06-29 09:29:12 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

It wasn't him, it was 4:30!!
 
2012-06-29 11:23:24 AM
wambu: A 54-year-old man was arrested after sheriff's investigators say he threatened to kick a neighbor's buttocks after moving his bowels.

Perhaps they were in the way?


Thanks. You answered my question: "What was he doing moving his neighbor's bowels, anyway?"
 
2012-06-29 12:41:17 PM
 
2012-06-29 07:53:14 PM
Mothers typically do not like being called dirty whores.

themcj.com
 
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