Wow . . . that was a great Deputy Dawg impression . . .now, show us your Goober Pyle.

"Clap on! *clap clap*... Clap off! *clap clap*...Clap on! Clap off!...the Clapper."

Nancy: "Penis went THERE!!!"

Boner: "Yes..."

Boehner: Don't let her see me cry, don't let her see me cry, don't let her see me cry, don't let her see me cry...

Democrats and Republicans, moistened panty-wedgies all around!

a vote for me is a vote for FloydA

What a pisser.

Now with more signage.

His testes were this big before the vote. Now both of 'em could easily fit in my mouth.

Sorry. Forgot the Votey Button. Mods, if you want, do that voodoo that you do do. Delete previous post.

John B. Nancy, the Head of the Republican National Committee is sending someone by with a huge bag of money for me. When he does, be sure to wake me up. I'll be sleeping under the podium, as is my daily habit.

Nancy: Oh yes sir, Mr. B. You can count on me.

(John goes behind the podium and goes to sleep)

Claire McCaskill: How are we going to intercept those donations, Nancy? John is right over there sleeping.

Nancy: Oh don't worry about him. He's a heavy sleeper. He sleeps tighter that Bill Clinton after a sausage, biscuit and cigar breakfast.

GOP Moneyrunner: I have a huge bag of money for a Mr. John Boehner. There's no federal oversight so you don't have to sign or nuttin'.

Nancy: I'll take that. I'm a female and therefore I must be Mr. Boehner's assistant.

GOP Moneyrunner: Makes sense. Since you aren't a 16 year old Page, you can't be his sex slave.

Nancy: So, as a reward, moneybags, you wanna do me and this other MILF or do you want to take a chance with what's behind the podium over there?

GOP Moneyrunner: I'll take my chances with the podium. (Goes over to the podium) Hey. It's a guy.

John B. (Sleepily) Time to milk the cows, momma? Better check the cream first.

(GOP Moneyrunner reacts accordingly)

GOP Moneyrunner: Wow! He didn't take no for an answer. He's almost as good as that guy from that red state.

Nancy: Ohio? Florida?

Claire McCaskill: Texas?

GOP Moneyrunner: No. Manitoba.

Claire McCaskill: Manitoba isn't a state.

GOP Moneyruunner: It has been since the 2000 election. You should attend more GOP strategy meetings. This year, we're counting Quebec. Vous voir plus tard, sorcières.

(GOP Moneyrunner leaves)

Nancy: What a nice guy. I think he called us 'babes' in that non-English language.

John B.: What a nap. I dreamed I was on a farm, milking a Congressional Page. Did my big sack of money arrive, Nancy?

Nancy: No sir. The head of the GOP came by, saw you sleeping under the podium and said "No money for you today! Better luck tomorrow, sleeping beauty."

John B.: I wasn't sleeping! I was just reviewing laws my lobbyists sent me to vote for. I tell you. It is a plot to discredit me!

Nancy: That's not what he said he saw, sir. He said if you get caught one more time, you'll be sent to Chicago.

John B.: But that's the Russian Front of the Republican Party! Nancy!

Nancy: Oh don't worry, sir. You're not up for election this cycle anyways. And besides, you are the most ruthless leader Speaker of the House. Well, since that last guy. Who would dare doubt your au-thor-ri-tay?

John B: You're right. Well, I need to go to my next appointment. Is the tanning booth ready?

Nancy: Yes sir Set for 30 percent minority just the way you like it.

John B: You know, Nancy. Even though we are on separate sides of the aisle, I feel I can trust you. We make a good team.

Nancy: Well thank you sir. Well, enjoy your tan.

(John B leaves)

Clair McCaskill: You really didn't set the tanning machine for 30% did you?

Nancy: Oh no. When he comes out of there, our Urban Renewal Program will have one more supporter.

Clair McCaskill: Oh Nancy...

Nancy: C'mon. Hillary is having a yard sale and I hear there are racks of pant suits that stretch for miles.

Clair McCaskill: What stretches for miles? The racks or the pants suits?

Nancy: Both!
(grabs bag of money leaves)

John Boehner, R.J. Fletcher - separated at birth?