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(Detroit Free Press)   Someone considered the problem of drunk driving and said "You know what we need? Talking urinal cakes"   (freep.com) divider line 52
    More: Silly, Urinal deodorizer block, urinals, Michigan  
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2924 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jun 2012 at 3:27 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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FirstNationalBastard [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 01:15:25 PM
I only approve of talking urinal cakes if the sound chip inside is programmed with the Wicked Witch of the West's voice saying "I'M MELLLLLLLTING" when you piss on it.
 
MaudlinMutantMollusk [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 01:20:17 PM
Not sure they've thought this all the way through

/Speaking as a former bartender, I can assure you that the majority of drunks aren't real good at hitting the urinal, much less the urinal cake
 
Di Atribe [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 01:43:56 PM
Someone was stoned when they thought that up
 
Blues_X [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 01:45:03 PM
If I hear a urinal cake talking to me, I'll wonder who spiked my drink.
 
hammettman [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 01:54:53 PM
I've peed into a number of fantastic urinals, including this gem:

i90.photobucket.com

I'm all for anything that enhances the experience of urination, even when it's out to encourage safety.
 
Happy Hours
2012-06-28 02:23:00 PM
So do they install the urinal cakes in people's cars?
 
GGracie [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 03:08:40 PM
So, what about women? Apparently we're supposed to hold a urinal cake between our thighs?
 
MaudlinMutantMollusk [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 03:12:10 PM
GGracie: So, what about women? Apparently we're supposed to hold a urinal cake between our thighs?

That's the birth control element of the plan
 
nimeye
2012-06-28 03:29:25 PM
Meh. Tell me when they start making them taste better.
 
JohnAnnArbor [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 03:31:42 PM
Will the cakes move in time to the talking? That would be impressive.
 
medius
2012-06-28 03:32:11 PM
they didn't talk before?

but then...
 
MAYORBOB
2012-06-28 03:33:12 PM
Talking urinal cakes? Now that would really piss me off.
 
frisland
2012-06-28 03:34:02 PM
wouldnt it be better if the cake then told you how drunk you were?
 
Supes
2012-06-28 03:34:52 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk: /Speaking as a former bartender, I can assure you that the majority of drunks aren't real good at hitting the urinal, much less the urinal cake

This is why we need more urinals with targets. Such a simple addition would make lives easier for bartenders worldwide.
 
SultanofSchwing
2012-06-28 03:35:05 PM
hammettman: I've peed into a number of fantastic urinals, including this gem:

[i90.photobucket.com image 597x799]

I'm all for anything that enhances the experience of urination, even when it's out to encourage safety.

How interesting! The Gym I go to has a very similar setup for their Urinals.

i.imgur.com

Not quite as ornate though.
 
IrishBlunder
2012-06-28 03:35:36 PM
GGracie: So, what about women? Apparently we're supposed to hold a urinal cake between our thighs?

For women, a dispenser for talking tampons has been installed.
 
schattenteufel
2012-06-28 03:36:45 PM
This isn't new.
The little Asian girl I pee on tells me if I've drank too much to drive.
 
Current Resident [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 03:38:19 PM
Will R. Kelly be providing the voice?
 
palelizard
2012-06-28 03:39:26 PM
nimeye: Meh. Tell me when they start making them taste better.

I try to get the ones with icing.
 
New Farkin User Name
2012-06-28 03:40:10 PM
I think this might work a bit better if people were using getting high when they pissed. hearing talking urinal cakes *might* convince them not to drive.
 
Leeds
2012-06-28 03:41:54 PM
Do they sound like Obama or Hitler or Sandusky?
 
Grapple
2012-06-28 03:43:57 PM
"damn, I must be drunk, I keep hearing voices when I pee"
 
JimGetzey
2012-06-28 03:49:11 PM
Am I the only one that actually pictured a urinal cake with a face that robotically spoke? Sometimes I have no common sense.
 
SultanofSchwing
2012-06-28 03:51:20 PM
i.qkme.me
 
JohnAnnArbor [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 03:51:55 PM
schattenteufel: This isn't new.
The little Asian girl I pee on tells me if I've drank too much to drive.

www.washingtonpost.com
 
Jon iz teh kewl
2012-06-28 03:55:17 PM
will this enhance sex in any way??
 
JackieRabbit
2012-06-28 03:55:28 PM
I... Cannot... Resist... Must... Post...

What a talking urinal cake might say to motivate someone:

"Oooh, yes! Yes! Oh, that's so farking hot! Give me your piss, you scorching hot stud!"

New KinkyKakes by WaterSports Products
 
IXI Jim IXI
2012-06-28 03:55:33 PM
Do they scream, "Don't eat me!"
 
IXI Jim IXI
2012-06-28 03:58:48 PM
Jon iz teh kewl: will this enhance sex in any way??

Only if you're a urinal farker.

/wow...this water is cold
//and DEEP
 
JohnAnnArbor [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 04:07:46 PM
"I'm melting!"
 
blank_czech
2012-06-28 04:13:00 PM
Current Resident: Will R. Kelly be providing the voice?

No it'll be Dave Chapelle as R Kelly:
 
hogans
2012-06-28 04:13:09 PM
IXI Jim IXI: Do they scream, "Don't eat me!"

cdn0.hark.com

He certainly hopes so.
 
blatz514 [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 04:17:16 PM
Hearing a talking urinal cake will probably startle me in my drunken state and make me pee on my feet...or the dude next to me.
 
hp6sa
2012-06-28 04:18:12 PM
Can you measure BAC through urine tests? Maybe that would have been more useful.

"You're at 0.08"

15 minutes later: "You're at 0.075. Speed on home, sailor!"
 
coldones
2012-06-28 04:19:08 PM
I hope this doesn't affect the delicious taste.
 
Fubegra
2012-06-28 04:20:26 PM
The hacking potential of this is epic, provided you can get one that hasn't yet been pissed upon.

Imagine the look on some underendowed shlub's face when the urinal cake starts laughing at him.
 
Jon iz teh kewl
2012-06-28 04:30:19 PM
hp6sa: Can you measure BAC through urine tests? Maybe that would have been more useful.

"You're at 0.08"

15 minutes later: "You're at 0.075. Speed on home, sailor!"

you're at 134usafusdjakhfskdjh ERROR ERROR *zap*
 
LovingTeacher
2012-06-28 04:36:27 PM
frisland: wouldnt it be better if the cake then told you how drunk you were?

That's what I thought when I read the headline at first but I'm really glad some joker didn't have this idea when I was a regular user of LSD.
 
Bit'O'Gristle
2012-06-28 04:53:50 PM
What we need is people who care about

1. Not driving drunk, and putting people in danger.
2. Not driving drunk, and thinking about "its all me"
3. Not driving drunk, and save some lives.
4. Quit being assholes and think of others, and what could possibly happen if they drive drunk.

/Probably not gonna happen, and people are going to want to party, and do it on their own terms, and fark everyone else. It's only after something tragic happens that they get hindsight.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 05:08:42 PM
FirstNationalBastard: I only approve of talking urinal cakes if the sound chip inside is programmed with the Wicked Witch of the West's voice saying "I'M MELLLLLLLTING" when you piss on it.

Goddamn, now I wish I was a man so I had a vested interest in making that happen.

"What a world, what a world..."
 
brap [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 05:10:36 PM
"Martha "Big Mouth" Raye here for Urinal Cakes just letting you know that 'Urine" no shape to drive! Pee on me drunky!"
 
GGracie [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 05:49:58 PM
I would want to have too much fun with the recordings... especially messing with drunk men ;-)

"Congratulations! Your urine test revealed that you're pregnant"

"Mmmm... Someone's been drinking pineapple juice ;-)

"Dude, what the hell are all of those red sores on your dick?"

"You have bits of toilet paper in your butt crack"

"You don't actually get laid with that night crawler you're peeing out of do you?"

"OH SH*T! Not to alarm you, but you need to go see a doctor, now."

"Are those your balls or a new kind of furry slinky?"
 
DemDave
2012-06-28 05:58:12 PM
This is so wrong.

First rule of the men's room: there's no talking in the men's room.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 05:59:52 PM
GGracie: I would want to have too much fun with the recordings... especially messing with drunk men ;-)

"Congratulations! Your urine test revealed that you're pregnant"

"Mmmm... Someone's been drinking pineapple juice ;-)

"Dude, what the hell are all of those red sores on your dick?"

"You have bits of toilet paper in your butt crack"

"You don't actually get laid with that night crawler you're peeing out of do you?"

"OH SH*T! Not to alarm you, but you need to go see a doctor, now."

"Are those your balls or a new kind of furry slinky?"

"HARCOURT!! HARCOURT FENTON MUDD!!"
 
Mell of a Hess
2012-06-28 06:01:34 PM
"You know what we need? Talking urinal cakes"

Or as we call them, "Polish Breathmints"
 
KidSock2004
2012-06-28 06:04:08 PM
"I'm thirsty for your pee!"
 
JohnAnnArbor [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 06:36:15 PM
Would it be funny if they spoke German?
 
medius
2012-06-28 06:43:29 PM
GGracie: "You don't actually get laid with that night crawler you're peeing out of do you?"

no, i don't

thanks for the shame pee
 
fjnorton [TotalFark]
2012-06-28 06:47:08 PM
On another note GIS for urinal cake was worse than this tread
 
jprogram
2012-06-28 07:37:36 PM
Or... there should make urinal cakes that'll test the alcohol content in pee and THEN tell them to take a cab.
 
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