"And now, here's a traffic update with Mary Collins Frank. Mary?"

"Thanks, Bill. Looks like the roads are a mess tonight, what with me weaving across Jefferson Boulevard and screaming drunken obscenities at the top of my lungs. Also, you'll want to stay off the sidewalks downtown later as I careen home, and avoid the parking lot of Walgreen's since I threw up all over someone's BMW there. Back to you, Bill."

"..."

kid_icarus: OregonVet: I bet she fu*ks.

After officers placed her in a police car, she repeatedly asked to speak with Fort Wayne Police Chief Rusty York, according to police reports.

Something tells me Rusty York would know.


I once gave a girl a Rusty York. She never spoke to me again.

So... she either keeps a corkscrew in her purse, or she bought a bottle of wine with a twist off cap.
Either way, I claim her as muh woman.

If chugging wine in a drive-thru is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Sober


Buzzed

When she's completely sloshed, the part in her hair moves to the far right (from our perspective).

Should have gone to a liquor store I guess... where they know how to work with alcoholic customers.

AgentKGB: Who was that news reporter that had a sextape leak out of her farking a guy in her newsvan?

Former Ms. West Virginia with some biker looking old dude in the news van? That is an old one... probably filed away somewhere with the Libby Hoeller video.