If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   Yes, there WILL be the 3-breasted sex worker in the Total Recall reboot (SFW)   (io9.com) divider line 59
    More: Followup, Total Recall, reboot, Kate Beckinsale, Sharon Stone, S.F.W., Philip K. Dick, previews  
•       •       •

6219 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Jun 2012 at 3:20 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-06-28 12:01:24 AM
The universe is well then.

I can't wait for Verhoeven to pipe in on the reboot...
 
2012-06-28 12:24:39 AM
That was one of my main concerns.
 
2012-06-28 12:37:55 AM
Mannnnn... I've got five kids to feed!
 
2012-06-28 01:05:34 AM
In a shiat-storm of god awful reboots this one might actually be good.
 
2012-06-28 01:28:17 AM

Pawn takes the King: In a shiat-storm of god awful reboots this one might actually be good.


given that the original was camp at best and sooooooooooooooooo bad at worst

from dying of anoxia to TADA all better now in a matter of seconds?? sigh
so bad

no wait, it's all a dream? shudder
 
2012-06-28 02:02:11 AM
wut?
 
2012-06-28 03:24:44 AM
My brain must be blipping because I read that as 3 breasted postal worker. And I was fine with that.
 
2012-06-28 03:26:19 AM
Those people need 3 breasted women.
 
2012-06-28 03:29:43 AM
But is her name Eccentrica Gallumbits?
 
2012-06-28 03:34:25 AM
Not to sound like a dirty bastard, but the PG-13 rating has killed that great pleasure of early adolescence; the occasional boob shot in a big-budget genre film. Where once you got three boobs, you now get zero, just a camera angle that suggest the possibility of boobs.

Truly, we live in a dystopian future already.
 
2012-06-28 03:35:38 AM
This movie looks like a complete snoozefest.

At least the Arnie version had character.

1) CGI
2) TITS
3) EXPLOSIONS
4) PROFIT
*rinse, recycle, repeat*
 
2012-06-28 03:37:01 AM

blacksharpiemarker: This movie looks like a complete snoozefest.

At least the Arnie version had character.

1) CGI
2) TITS
3) EXPLOSIONS
4) PROFIT
*rinse, recycle, repeat*


Plus there's a brunette fighting a brunette? What up with that?

Couldn't we have gotten a redhead fighting an Asian girl this time?
 
2012-06-28 03:49:38 AM
Question - if the tits are clearly not real, can they still be posted?

Probably not.

www.storminforms.com
 
2012-06-28 03:54:27 AM
I know Melina was an unattractive, mannish character in the original. Do we really have to repeat that in the new one?
 
2012-06-28 03:54:35 AM
I was about to whine about the idea of rebooting a single movie, but the trailer does look fairly good.
 
2012-06-28 03:57:14 AM

blacksharpiemarker: At least the Arnie version had character.

1) CGI
2) TITS
3) EXPLOSIONS
4) PROFIT
*rinse, recycle, repeat*



You got to admire the 80s for being unapologetically shameless in what they were. Action heroes didn't have doubt or angst or girlfriends to worry about. They just got shiat done, and if someone got in their way, they blew them to kingdom come and didn't think twice about it. I kind of miss that no-nonsense assertiveness. I would like to see that kind of brash "fark you" diplomacy in the new flick, but I bet it's going to be full of Bourne style "who am I who am I who am I" introspection with jerky cam and CGI fakery. And no blood or tits.....because everything is driven by market research now and they're striving for that PG-13 rating.

Pity.
 
2012-06-28 04:04:02 AM
This is even dumber than I though it would be.
Why remake TR and leave everything except Mars and the whole mystery thing?

This is pathetic. Even more so than the regular "brain dead and too stupid and lazy to come up with your own idea " remakes we normally get.
 
2012-06-28 04:07:56 AM
"I give good wife."

Mmm,mmm,mmm.
 
2012-06-28 05:39:25 AM
I think I just saw the whole movie....
 
2012-06-28 05:49:45 AM

Hardy-r-r: I think I just saw the whole movie....


Seriously. What the hell?

Also, the fight scenes looked incredibly choreographed.
 
2012-06-28 05:52:41 AM
Triple-breasted hookers were confirmed a long time ago.

/'pete
 
2012-06-28 05:55:40 AM
But will there be a vagina face?

cdn.chud.com
 
2012-06-28 06:40:11 AM
Was that Dave Chappelle?
 
2012-06-28 06:49:53 AM

DubyaHater: Was that Dave Chappelle?


I thought that at first, but no. I've seen that particular actor in some other films, but I can't recall which ones.

Also I never knew the brother-in-law from Breaking Bad was the vagina faced guy from Total Recall. :0
 
2012-06-28 07:11:16 AM
Wait, why is that from a company called Original Films?
 
2012-06-28 07:13:20 AM

Gunther: Not to sound like a dirty bastard, but the PG-13 rating has killed that great pleasure of early adolescence; the occasional boob shot in a big-budget genre film. Where once you got three boobs, you now get zero, just a camera angle that suggest the possibility of boobs.
.


It's true - for all we know, the "You're going to wish you had three hands." line is referring to a penis.
 
2012-06-28 07:26:09 AM
Three boobs? *yawn*

Sorry but I've been to /d/, I've seen things... things best left unsaid. Three boobs seems almost normal by comparison.
 
2012-06-28 07:30:11 AM

blacksharpiemarker: This movie looks like a complete snoozefest.

At least the Arnie version had character.

1) CGI
2) TITS
3) EXPLOSIONS
4) PROFIT
*rinse, recycle, repeat*


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ its what the kids want, tho, because they don't know any better. so it goes.
 
2012-06-28 08:20:46 AM

Pimple: Wait, why is that from a company called Original Films?


Because someone obviously has a well-developed sense of irony.
 
2012-06-28 08:23:20 AM
See you at tha party, Richtah!
 
2012-06-28 08:23:59 AM

Gunther: Not to sound like a dirty bastard, but the PG-13 rating has killed that great pleasure of early adolescence; the occasional boob shot in a big-budget genre film. Where once you got three boobs, you now get zero, just a camera angle that suggest the possibility of boobs.

Truly, we live in a dystopian future already.


Plus, it has given us the unbelievable weirdness of the no-nudity no-sex "sex scene", which I have seen twice in recent weeks: first in Dark Shadows, and then in Rock of Ages.

Why do they even bother?

/And why do I keep spending money to see bad movies?
 
2012-06-28 08:30:16 AM
More important than the 3-breasted lady is that Bryan Cranston is in this!!
 
2012-06-28 08:31:54 AM

DubyaHater: Was that Dave Chappelle?


No....Bokeem Woodbine.
 
2012-06-28 08:32:45 AM
Three tits, that's awesome
i939.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-28 08:36:50 AM
Looks like fun. But then I like to watch Kate Beckinsale fight.
 
2012-06-28 08:41:07 AM
Seems like Beckinsdale will live longer then Sharon Stone dir, that's for sure.

/whar vantriloquist dummy taxi driver?
//WHAR?!
 
2012-06-28 09:12:10 AM
Shatner did it the year before the original Total Recall.
img.gawkerassets.com
 
2012-06-28 09:21:36 AM
Ok, great. But does it have a midget shooting a machine gun while standing on a bar?
 
2012-06-28 09:31:30 AM
The third one should be on her back to make slow dancing more enjoyable.
 
2012-06-28 09:55:38 AM
That midget on a bar, in the original, was actually pretty hot for a little person...
 
2012-06-28 10:00:26 AM
Kate Beckinsale.
Jessica Biel.

I'm in.

That looks good. Even Colin Ferrell can't screw it up. Trailers look boss.
 
2012-06-28 10:17:07 AM
'Dammit Cohagen, gib de people de ayuh.'
 
2012-06-28 10:18:39 AM

Rawhead Rex: That midget on a bar, in the original, was actually pretty hot for a little person...


Ah, yes. Midget Machine Gun Hooker Chick FTW !!!!
 
2012-06-28 10:27:06 AM
Get ready for a surprise!
 
2012-06-28 11:03:52 AM
Considuh dis a divoahce
 
2012-06-28 12:31:44 PM
Holy shiat. That looks like the best movie ever made. Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, AND Bryan Cranston? SIGN ME UP.
 
2012-06-28 01:00:19 PM

sleeper2995: But will there be a vagina face?

[cdn.chud.com image 640x411]


For one I thought that was a suggestion for who should play the character. It wasn't until I went to IMDB that I saw he played the guy originally. So awesome.

Secondly, I did not know he was in Terminator 2 either. Double awesome.

Actually. This man's IMDB resume is that of someone I would be totally gay for.

Wait..

No..

AM totally gay for. I
 
2012-06-28 01:18:06 PM

Gunther: Not to sound like a dirty bastard, but the PG-13 rating has killed that great pleasure of early adolescence; the occasional boob shot in a big-budget genre film. Where once you got three boobs, you now get zero, just a camera angle that suggest the possibility of boobs.

Truly, we live in a dystopian future already.


Except kids have access to every level of porn from blouse shots to the hardest of hardcore rape snuff bdsm stuff on the Internet.

They don't need movies to see tits anymore. And neither do you.
 
2012-06-28 02:18:02 PM
Was that a legit trailer or a mashup of iRobot, Minority Report, and American Outlaws?
 
2012-06-28 02:27:17 PM
goddamn, that's just the most pointless reboot yet. plus, as was said elsewhere in this thread, they showed the whole movie in that 2.5 minutes.
 
Displayed 50 of 59 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report