FloydA: parahaps:

I'm not a big fan of having kids either, but are you trying to convince him or yourself? Kinda... defensive there.

When people tell me that I have completely wasted my life and failed at everything, and I will never be happy, just because I can figure out how to use a condom, yeah, I get a little defensive.

I've been contemplating a vasectomy, I hate condoms, and my wife doesn't do so well on birth control.

Hell, I bought a house so I could paint it pink and black, have as many cats as I can afford to take to the vet, and pass out in my own damn yard.

/my lawn, get off it

FirstNationalBastard: Yeah, 7 billion people on the planet, and the ones who DON'T want to spit out another one to add to the fray are the selfish ones.

Having children is a selfish act. Paint it with all the stupid reasons you want, you're having a kid because a: it's biologically hardwired into you, B: you want a piece of yourself to live on, and C: You want a little you to raise and mold and fark up to be just like you.

There are plenty of children out there to adopt if you want one. No need to create a new one. But, you selfishly have to have one that your worthless sperm and/or egg created.

Bravo. You aren't special, neither are your children. It isn't a miracle if it's happened over 7 billion times at present, and who knows how many since we evolved from apes.


Your arguments are so ridiculous I wonder if there will ever be a time in your remaining years when you look back at who you are and what you believe and slap yourself. There is nothing good or noble or truthful in what you wrote. I am sadder for having read it. One of the advantages/disadvantages of the Internet is that people are free to be who they really are. You dont know me and I dont know you and probably from looking at you I would never know what a sad life philosophy you hold. What we believe drives what we do. It affects others both negatively and positively. You might want to think real hard about how you see things.

FloydA: I get it, you love your little bundle of joy. That's fine, that's wonderful, I'm sure he, she, or it is the most preciousest widdle snowfwake sparkle in god's eye. That's lovely, I'm happy for you. But parenthood is not for me, and no amount of cajoling, pressure, or this sort of condescending "oh I used to think like that too..." bullshiat is going to change that fact. So just lay off, ok? Jeez.

It's probably accurate to say that becoming a parent is a fundamental change that you have to experience to know what it will mean for you personally. It's a biological thing no doubt. It's easy to say parenthood is not for you, but it is just as easy to predict that you'd probably morph right into a happy parent if it did happen to you. It's also completely your choice, and I don't think that you cannot be 'adult' without becoming a parent. I do think that if you denigrate others for choosing to become parents, and find yourself using terms like 'preciousest widdle snowfwake' or 'crotchfruit', then that is a better indication of your maturity level.

FloydA: reklamfox:

I'm with you on that. I've heard SO many people tell me that I have no idea how I actually feel about children, and I'll change my mind when I'm "older". I'm 23 now and I hate kids more than ever.

Yep. I'm 45. This is not a phase I'm going through. I'm not going to grow out of it.

My ears are sensitive to high frequencies, my nose is really sensitive to bad smells. I don't like Disney movies. I don't like going out to the park. Those are all things that kids need to do, and I know I would not be any good at hiding my distaste. I would be a crappy dad, and I know it. I just wish the mommy squad would stop telling me what I should be doing with my life.

It never stops. I'm 50, female, no kids, (and single) It still doesn't stop.

"why didn't you have kids?"
"Don't you REGRET NOT HAVING KIDS?"
"It's so SAD you never had the JOY of having your OWN KIDS"

I too, never wanted them, don't regret not having them.

I really wish people would just shut the fark up and QUIT COMPARING MY LIFE TO YOURS LIKE IT'S SOME SORT OF BAROMETER OF SUCCESS.

Most of you folks who say you don't like children probably just don't like other people's children. (I know how you feel) But when your 3 year old wraps their arms around your leg and says, "I love you daddy, I'll never let you go."

Niagara Falls, Frankie Angel.

Niagara Falls...

i wish sandy duncan was the symbol of my generation.

Happily married for years, own a house, but no kids. I think kids are great, but I'm not interested in having any at the moment, same with the wife. Until we feel strongly one way or another, we're not going to have them and if it doesn't happen, cool.

Publikwerks: 1. Knock it off with the whole " dropping a litter of kids" and "breeders" comments. If you don't want us to give you shiat over your choices, don't give us shiat over ours.

I think some of that is an aggressive defense against the pressures of not having kids as a married couple. I'm betting that you haven't heard the those comments as much as I've heard "So when are you two going to have children?"

Not shiatting over your choices at all, but just saying that there are those who might be more defensive about theirs.

SithLord: [cdn2.mamapop.com image 640x711]


\oblig

I know this man. I have had the opportunity to hang out with him on numerous occasions. fascinating dude. Believe it or not, he is NOT gay (that tripped me out more than anything). Also, his voice is deep and has a NYC accent - totally not what you'd expect.

FirstNationalBastard: Bravo. You aren't special, neither are your children. It isn't a miracle if it's happened over 7 billion times at present, and who knows how many since we evolved from apes.

Yet we will be bombarded with every stupid thing their kid does as if it is a world's first.

Ate a carrot
Rolled over
Farted
Shat firm
Saw a bird
Shat loose
Ate a penny
Slept all night
etc

The Ms. and I decided that we are happy without a kid. We are both happy, moderately successful and have just enough money to live comfortably with fun activities a few times a week.

I don't see a need to add a shiat machine to the equation.

it's the cult of misery. others tell you how wonderful and magical having a kid is when in reality, they want you to be just as miserable as they are.

I'm just now 30, married, own a house, and have no kids.

I'm glad I don't have kids. I don't understand them, and they don't understand me. It all works out for the best.

Bondith: reklamfox
I have zero patience, and being around any children at all makes me irrationally angry.

I've tried interacting with kids. It's nigh-well impossible. They've got the attention span of a gnat, their thought processes can be modeled using Brownian motion, and the don't understand a word you say to them. Most of my communication takes the form of snark and sarcasm, and it flies right over their heads.

I did a chemistry magic show once for a bunch of 5-year-olds. Never again. I simply don't relate well to anyone who's younger than about 15. I did a lot of high school tutoring and manage to develop a rapport with the keeners who wanted extra help, but anyone younger I just couldn't get along with.

I know I've offended more than a few friends by inviting them out for a bite to eat and asking them to leave their kid(s) at home. Ive had people look at me, genuinely confused when I try to explain my extreme distaste for kids. I've had people call me an evil, empty twisted soul who despises all happiness (and im only 23!) but I just can't see myself being a good parent. I have an unbelievably small tolerance threshold for frustration, and nothing is worse for frustration than a kid.

I see all kids as screaming, snot-nosed little poop factories and it is INCREDIBLY unappealing. I'll stick with my disposable income and new car and my intact relationship.

FirstNationalBastard: Lemme guess... late-30s to early-40s, three or four kids, maybe more, and you have to convince everyone else that the "sacrifice" you make to raise your children is "noble" because you're doing it for the future of humanity. And at the end of the day, when it's just you and your thoughts, you pray to whatever deity you believe in for either a release from the hell you brought upon yourself, or for some scientist to invent a time machine so you can go back and prevent your younger self from screwing your life up by getting married and having children.

You don't sound like a happy person.

(23 and no kids, FYI.)

yeah, that's me. whatever, i learned lots of interesting stuff along the way and got to do stuff my married friends from back home didn't...

I think I've heard more divorce stories from friends, acquaintances, and even the occasional stranger mumbling "she was crazy" than those involving happy marriages.

Has anyone actually been playing the breeder bingo game? There must be a winner or two by now.

Just came here to say that sweetmelissa31's cats are awesome.

/i have 3
//no kids
///fat & puking is not an option for me

Having two or fewer children with a single partner in a relationship that's financially and at least kind of emotionally stable when the female is between the ages of 20 and 38 (ish)* is maybe a decent indicator that you've got a basically adult mindset, but frankly so are things like involvement in local and state politics (as a citizen) and focus and leadership at your job.

And there are a lot of conditions under which having kids indicates the exact opposite, for instance I have a friend that's having a kid while chronically unemployed, plus the girl is only 20 and already has a five-year-old, while his house is going into foreclosure. I know another couple that had five kids, which is pretty inexcusable for anyone educated later than the 70s when population issues became common knowledge. These people are worthy of less respect for having children, not more.

Adult is about thinking forward and acting responsibly in considering and reacting to the ramifications of your actions beyond the context of your personal benefit. Having a kid and not actively trying to screw it up does not, in fact, count, that's just the genetic imperative. A much closer examination of how you're raising the kid is needed to show whether you're any kind of adult or just another kid too stupid to work out which bit the rubber goes on.

*Don't blame me for the age thing, that's the biological range that lacks severe risks of acute or chronic health issues for the kid, take it up with god or whoever.

I may never have kids, but playing aunt to my friend's son is the BOMB. He's hilarious. Five year olds are non-stop entertainment. Still, it's nice to be able to give him back.

Lemme guess... late-30s to early-40s, three or four kids, maybe more, and you have to convince everyone else that the "sacrifice" you make to raise your children is "noble" because you're doing it for the future of humanity. And at the end of the day, when it's just you and your thoughts, you pray to whatever deity you believe in for either a release from the hell you brought upon yourself, or for some scientist to invent a time machine so you can go back and prevent your younger self from screwing your life up by getting married and having children.

Nothing "noble" about my life. Ive had a pretty shiatty life and I have made crappy decisions and who I had kids with and when I had them is a big part of the poop pie I have to eat and still continue to have to eat every day.That being said, I am thankful I didnt get to this point in my life believing in a world view as is the prevalent one on fark. Which right now is fortunately a minority but growing fast.

and i know plenty of happy and miserable parents in their 30s and 40s.

the miserable parents have a tendency to NOT discipline their kids, and as a result raise insufferable children. and/or they had kids in a futile attempt to save their relationship.

/firstnationalbastard is a hateful piece of shiat.

SueDisco: I may never have kids, but playing aunt to my friend's son is the BOMB. He's hilarious. Five year olds are non-stop entertainment. Still, it's nice to be able to give him back.

That is the best ! Fill em full of sugar and send them home to their parents. Im either the worlds worst or best uncle.

as a single person with no tax deducing kids i have a higher tax burden. the gov't loves me at the end of the year.

parahaps: FloydA: H31N0US:
I have, in the past, uttered those same words; and now I would take a bullet for my daughter.



Look, I am flat out telling you that you are wrong about me. I will not ever change my mind about this. Period. No, that does not mean I am not an adult. No that does not mean I'm going through a phase. No that does not mean whatever you think it means.

I do not like children.

Why can't you accept that?

I get it, you love your little bundle of joy. That's fine, that's wonderful, I'm sure he, she, or it is the most preciousest widdle snowfwake sparkle in god's eye. That's lovely, I'm happy for you. But parenthood is not for me, and no amount of cajoling, pressure, or this sort of condescending "oh I used to think like that too..." bullshiat is going to change that fact. So just lay off, ok? Jeez.

I'm not a big fan of having kids either, but are you trying to convince him or yourself? Kinda... defensive there.

You feeling that he is being defensive is obviously rooted in your lack of adulthood. Have a couple of kids and buy a house then come back and judge him.

lamecomedian: HellRaisingHoosier:


Obviously you haven't lived on your own for awhile.

Do you have any idea how easy it is to take care of JUST yourself? I haven't even looked at my checking account in a few months because I know there is more money in it then I spend, on top of the savings to 401(k) and Roth IRA that come out every paycheck. And lets not forget that as a single, health male I get the BEST health insurance and preventative care imaginable for the cheapest p ...

It is easy to live on your own and take care of yourself... when you have your youth, health, and a lucrative job. Most senior citizens (in America, anyway) have none of those things (well, I guess by definition NONE of them have their youth, but you get what I mean).

I'm glad things are going so well for you, and clearly you're wise enough to save for the future. And you give back to the community - great! But the people in TFA seem to lack (or deliberately choose not to exercise) the good judgment and philanthropy that you demonstrate - it is at them specifically that I am directing my criticism (which perhaps I did not make clear).

A generation that does not save AND does not have children is setting itself up for problems in the future, because when they're too old and sick to take care of themselves, they won't have any resources to fall back upon or taxpayers to foot their medical bills and pensions.


Fair enough, and I tend to agree.

FirstNationalBastard: MasterPython: Has anyone actually been playing the breeder bingo game? There must be a winner or two by now.

Here's a card for those who want to catch up.



/just don't use that dabber on the computer screen.

The B column for sure.

You've got my number on about 3 of those 4.

walkingtall: Good for you and it sucks to be the ones that will have to pay the price for it. Sucks to be them I guess eh?

Well damn, now I really don't want to have kids. It sounds like they'll have a terrible future ahead of them. Thank you for help with that decision!

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Buffet: Rembrant_Q_Einstein: Buffet: Getting married is for old, bald, fat dudes who can't get laid. Having babies is for old losers who have no life and don't want one.

Now you tell me!!!

Fear not. It's never too late. Dump the brats and the ball and chain and hit the gym. If you drive a four door car, sell it and get a two door, high performance real one. Trash your Ward Cleaver wardrobe and get some cool threads. Hit the town running. Ta-da!

Great advice! Should I "manscape" as well?

Had to look that one up. (I'm not the brightest candle on the cake)
A. At your discretion.

FirstNationalBastard: /Get your friend that's married with children drunk one night, and ask him honestly "would you do it again if you had a chance to do it over?" Odds are he'll tell you there's no way in hell he would get married or have kids again.

Eh...I have a co-worker who just yesterday admitted that both his kids were mistakes ("Two mistakes...and tequilla" was his exact quote). He and his wife weren't going to have kids. Instead of what you predict, he's actually super happy with his kids and is really glad they ended up having them. He's an awesome dad and his kids rock (he brings them into the office pretty regularly).

I think if you're the kind of parent who can maintain some of your pre-kid identity while having them, you're destined to be a happier parent. He and his wife still party, play sports, etc. They didn't suddenly take on new, completely child-centric personalities just because they had kids. Same thing with all of the happy parents I know...they may not be able to do the same volume of stuff they did before having kids, but they still make some time to do what they like and be themselves.

Tat'dGreaser


I should make one of those for heterosexual non-breeders

i was thinking the same thing..


But I didn't want to start sh*t.

FloydA: I understand that some people want kids. That's fine. I don't. I know that I would be a crappy father. And frankly, refraining from having kids that I don't want and would not take care of appropriately seems like a much better, much more "adult" decision than simply popping out a couple of kids because I couldn't figure out how to use a rubber.

There is nothing "immature" about choosing not to have kids. There's something very immature about having kids that you don't want just because you couldn't be arsed to take the proper precautions.

(I do have a house and I'm not broke, so perhaps I'm not the target audience.)

I could not agree more and thank you for thinking about children in a rational light.

HellRaisingHoosier: I realize I still do dumb shiat that an adult should never think or do.

For instance, I was walking along with some coworkers the other day to a place in the city for some lunch. Here we are: young men in their 20's, all well educated, great careers, all healthy, suited-up and all generally take care of our looks.

And while walking along I zone out and start touching everything within arms reach (I like to touch things). And then begin thinking about myself as a War General back in the days of the Roman Legions, and what my armor would look like and how I would position my troops, and .... BAM! ... then snap back into reality when someone asks me a question.

I know I should act or think that way. That's how I know I'm no where near ready for the responsibility of raising a child. I still act and think like a child myself!

I taught my 4 year old daughter a new song.

Put your hands up your bum like your trying to reach your tum.
Put some hair in your ear and clean the wax from there
Put a hose up your nose to get rid of the crows
And that's how we clean our orifices, yes our orifices.

crows is a slang term for snot. Maturity I have none.

sweetmelissa31: My fur-children are cuter than human babies anyway.

I think that is the worst thing I've ever heard. How marvelous.

They're not procreating. That's the only important thing.

I don't get the argument that non breeders are imature, lazy, selfish, immoral pieces of shiat as a good reason for them to have kids. They don't sound like good parenting material.

Crazy Talk Al: Just came here to say that sweetmelissa31's cats are awesome.

/i have 3
//no kids
///fat & puking is not an option for me

i also have 3, we should get together and have six

FloydA: H31N0US:
But later in life, say mid 30's, family life can be a very enriching experience. Watching your kid learn and grow is hard to describe. It's not all rainbows and unicorns but it's not all puke and noise either. Also, you have more money at that time and in a better position to defend your savings against the burdens of child rearing.


I do not want children. I have never wanted children. I never will want children. I do not like children. I am not going to change my mind, no matter how many people tell me I will.

I understand that some people actually like children, but I do not.

Why is this so difficult a concept for some people to grasp?

Who are you trying to convince?