Approves

In New Jersey, a fart is refreshing.

Headline sounds like it should be a lyric in a Broadway show

Collins got really gassed when the man passed gas near Collins' apartment door

He probably pulled that trick where you shove your ass against the door and rip it for all you're worth, using the door as a sounding board to amplify the anal announcement. Not that I'd know anything about this.

"Every problem can be solved with the application of guns." that's the FARK way.

I'm in New Jersey and I just ripped a fart, so I'm getting a kick outta th...er, wait...do farts have lumps?

Uhoh!

MaudlinMutantMollusk: YOU. SHALL NOT. PASS!



/still laughing

Don't this make your brown eye blue?

Collins got really gassed when the man passed gas near Collins' apartment door

Near his apartment door? Man, those must be some Guns of Navarone grade farts!

I think the best part of that article is that it's apparently been given the tag "farting disputes."

I imagine the gendarmes all ready to rip the perp a new one, when the complainant suffers some seepage, after which they let him (the accused) post a recognizance bond.

The video at the bottom is great.

Your neighbor sent you a smellogram.

I just pity the poor man that has a nose so sensitive that he can tell the difference between a really foul fart and New Jersey.

Muff cabbage.

It's the fart game, you'll play one day, son

"If you're cold stamp your feet. And blast a big smelly. You learn something, years walkin' the beat."

I farted on the elevator this morning and accidentally let loose a log. Luckily it was one of those two-footers and I was able to clench and get a hold of it before it got away from me. I never tried it before, but considering I had a one and a half foot tail in my shorts, I figured anything was worth a shot. So, I breathed in really deep, a reverse fart, and managed to suck the entire turd back inside my body. It's been several hours though and it hasn't tried to come out again so I'm afraid.

uncleacid: Your neighbor sent you a smellogram.



"I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help uplift your heart, cause I'm the nurse who likes to... "

Dumbass? You want dumbass? After hanging out here for years, I just find out if you click on the tag, in this case - dumbass, you get all the dumbass tagged links on Fark.
I am kind of a dumbass when it comes to computers, but jeez.
Dumbass.

Approves

spentmiles: I farted on the elevator this morning and accidentally let loose a log. Luckily it was one of those two-footers and I was able to clench and get a hold of it before it got away from me. I never tried it before, but considering I had a one and a half foot tail in my shorts, I figured anything was worth a shot. So, I breathed in really deep, a reverse fart, and managed to suck the entire turd back inside my body. It's been several hours though and it hasn't tried to come out again so I'm afraid.

"Collins was charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and terroristic threats, but later released on his own recognizance"

WTF - you can threaten to shoot someone with an unlicensed handgun in that state and get let out on your own recognizance later that day??? My cousin got a DUI in NJ they kept him in jail for three days (no priors) before charging him.

Smoky Dragon Dish: Drunk driving is taken very seriously here in the Garden State.

So is farting, apparently.

"I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help uplift your heart, cause I'm the nurse who likes to... "

I've seen that movie a thousand times and never realized the delivery guy was Louie Anderson!

I said DART Gun.

To defeat Casanova, you will need more than forks and flatulence.

He's black so I'm kind of disappointed no one has tried the hate crime angle.

I once let one loose on a NYC subway that was so foul, so hideous and vile that it may as well have come from the depths of Satan's anus. It made a woman gag, and it took all my strength of will not to. If anyone deserved to have been shot that night, it was me. My experiments in replicating it have thus far been unsuccessful.

stevarooni: monoski: WTF - you can threaten to shoot someone with an unlicensed handgun in that state and get let out on your own recognizance later that day???

What's a gun license?
</Missourian>

But yeah, i was surprised at his release after such serious charges were filed. Threatening someone with a gun for what amounts to no reason is ludicrous.

I don't know. A guy walks by me and intentionally farts, that's a perfectly good reason to shoot the mouth-breating motherfarker.

Kiss her where it smells, take her to New Jersey!

The_Sponge: Holy shiat...I had no idea either.

Thirded!