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(Short List)   The wedding ring that imprints the word 'Married' on your finger. Presumably targeted at women who know they're marrying a scumbag and are going ahead with it anyway   (shortlist.com) divider line 28
    More: Scary, wedding ring  
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14917 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2012 at 8:26 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-27 08:26:20 AM  
5 votes:
Actually, I'm already imagining the scenario where a young, newly married man on a business trip, tired and sore from his day of travel and meetings, wanders alone into the hotel bar at night for a late dinner and perhaps a drink or two to relax, and after he orders his drink he pulls off his ring, his mind not even really registering the action, and massages the sore spot on his finger left by these letters imprinted onto his skin. A dull afterthought of pain in the back of his mind all day, but one he's getting used to. And he slips the ring into his pocket so he doesn't lose it as he continues to massage his flesh, and his drink arrives and he notices movement beside him and sees a woman, older than he, lustrous black hair sleek and shiny in the lights, blue dress clinging to soft curves. A hint of cleavage, enough that another man might stare. But his wild days are behind him and so he just nods hello and returns to his drink, still massaging away the ache. And the woman order her own drink and they sit there beside each other sipping in silence for a while, and then she leans over.

"You look like you're in some pain there," she says.

He doesn't know what she's talking about at first, but then he sees her eyes on his finger and he flutters a smile. "My wife," he says. "She likes me to wear this ring."

"Of course she does," the woman says. "She's protective of you." And she reaches across the bar and takes the man's finger in her hand. She begins to lightly caress and pull at his skin, the flesh where the words have been impressed. "Does this make it better?"

And there is something about her touch and the tone of her voice that penetrates the man's brain, that brings out some long-buried emotion. "It hurts so much," he sobs, and she turns on the barstool and wraps him into her embrace, pulls his face against her soft bosom so that his tears dampen her dress. "I want to wear it for her. I want to."

"It's OK," she coos. "It's OK. Come upstairs and I'll help you."
2012-06-27 07:55:37 AM  
4 votes:
That's certainly going to provide a solid foundation for a marriage built on trust and respect.

Here's an idea, if you think your partner might cheat....DON'T MARRY THEM.
2012-06-27 07:52:43 AM  
4 votes:
It's adorable that they think the mistresses don't often know the guy is married.
2012-06-27 09:08:54 AM  
3 votes:

fireclown: [media.onsugar.com image 550x367]

I kind of like the idea. Permenant, it's gonna take some pain to get a tattoo on a bony area like your finger, and removing it will be costly and painful as well.


Claddagh fail. When the wearer is married the point of the heart should be toward the wrist. Toward the fingertips mean engaged.
2012-06-27 08:12:29 AM  
3 votes:
Would be more effective with "HAS HERPES"
2012-06-27 11:34:24 AM  
2 votes:

eKonk: This. Women wouldn't even pretend to be interested in me if they didn't think I was married. Not sure I understand why, but that's just the way it is.


Part of it's ego. Most women wouldn't have a very hard time seducing a man if he was single, but if he's married and she can still get him then it's a conquest.

The other part is evolution, albeit lazy evolution. A married man has obviously demonstrated some value to a woman at some point, so another woman doesn't have to do as much leg work to figure out if he is a decent protector and provider.

Humans don't act all that different from the apes we came from. My apartment has this awesome huge rooftop deck with grills and lounge chairs and the whole bit. Some of the girls in the building (300+ apartments) like to lay out and get sun up there, my girlfriend included. I always find it funny, because if I'm up there with her, any girl who comes up there alone will take a chair really close to us, almost unconsciously. Rarely will she take a chair that isolated and she will NEVER take a chair near a guy who is there alone. My theory is that the insecurity that comes with being in a vulnerable position, laying out with your eyes closed usually wearing a bikini triggers some monkey part of their brains that says "This male is protecting this female, if I stay near to him, but submissive to his female, he will protect me too." Even though I may never have seen her before.

Then, to monkey it up even further, other men won't come close to our group even if it's clear that I'm only there with my girlfriend and the other woman is just some chick who pulled up a chair. I can almost sense a tension as they walk by, even if I'm just laying there reading a book, and nothing about my body language is remotely aggressive.

Anyway, the point of that is if you want to know why people do things, ask yourself why apes would do it and you usually have your answer.
2012-06-27 10:54:40 AM  
2 votes:
A ring isn't going to keep a guy from farking around, if he wants to fark around. If you don't know that, and think this is going to keep his dick in his pants when you're not around, you deserve to be fleeced out of your money.
2012-06-27 10:09:44 AM  
2 votes:
sammyk: "As soon as I got married there was a noticeable increase in women coming on to me."

Were they actually coming on to you?
Or did they just see the ring and figured they could let down their guard a bit, be more friendly and maybe even crack a dirty joke or make a lewd comment, and not have to worry about you being a creep, getting the wrong impression and/or going all stalker-y on them?
2012-06-27 10:09:04 AM  
2 votes:
I'm pretty sure my ex-husband never bothered to take his ring off when he was cheating. The women he slept with knew he was married. All the women he cheated on me with were married too. This ring wouldn't have made any difference.

/ I know...that's the point.
2012-06-27 09:16:33 AM  
2 votes:

Marley'sGirl: My husband rarely wears his ring. It would have been destroyed by now by the kind of work he does. I figure if he's going to cheat, what good is a ring going to do about it?


This. I've been married 11 years and my wife has no problem with me rarely wearing a ring. I subtly let people know I'm married by not trying to bang them.
2012-06-27 08:38:25 AM  
2 votes:
If you need to give your husband this ring, you shouldn't have married him in the first place.

Also, the ring could be like a dinner bell to some women (and men). It's like Tipper Gore and the warning stickers on music. Now people who want to cheat have identifying labels.
2012-06-27 08:31:40 AM  
2 votes:
Well i have been married two months, and I can tell you this, the old rumors are true.

You never have so much tail thrown at you then when you wear a wedding right on. It is crazy.
2012-06-27 08:30:11 AM  
2 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: How cute... the article says "buying your husband-to-be this ring is not an option", like it's a given that the pweshus widdle delicate flowers of femininity don't cheat, too.

Oh, wait, it's always the man's fault.


When the man cheats, he's an a**hole, when the woman cheats, its because the husband wasn't taking care of her needs
2012-06-27 10:55:14 PM  
1 votes:

Son of Thunder: theflatline: Well i have been married two months, and I can tell you this, the old rumors are true.

You never have so much tail thrown at you then when you wear a wedding right on. It is crazy.

Somehow it's more than that. It's like women have some kind of radar. As soon as I got engaged (so no ring on my finger yet), random women started hitting on me. Women never hit in me (on accounta I'm ugly). But as soon as I slipped that ring on my girlfriend's finger, it was like the words "flirt with this man" were tattooed on my forehead. I thought I had entered Bizaaro world.


No, it's because you're "harmless". They don't have to have their "not interested" shields up. They can talk freely to you.

I went to a fitness retreat last September, and there were 120 fitness instructors there. 6 of us were men. There was a dance, and I was dancing most of the night. At the end, one woman was crying because one of the other married men was trying to kiss her.

So it's not really that they're trying to find someone else's mate in their bed. They're just relaxed. That's all there is to it.
2012-06-27 01:57:24 PM  
1 votes:
Odd. Every other male on the planet apparently discovers that wedding rings somehow attract women, but my experience is almost the exact opposite. I always thought it's because of the outward 'type' I am (generic white boy, presentable enough but no discernible flash or style on display, solid boring dad type) and my preferred 'type' of woman (generic white girl, not a barfly or golddigger or club chick, no motorcycle fetishes, very few expensive tastes to be catered to) and the kinds of mating games that people like me and women like my type choose or choose not to play.

I got nothing beyond cordial good manners from my 'type' while I was married. If I made jokes at my wife's expense around them (hey, we were mad at each other most of the time, sorry) - something guaranteed to make every married man crack up - they'd get all frosty and go away.

(I know, I know. You don't have to explain why. It's obvious.)

But now that I'm single I get that old 'interested' vibe like I haven't in decades.

I've assumed it's because I don't have a ring now, but thinking about it just now maybe it's because I'm happier, and not carrying myself like I've been whipped within an inch of my life.
2012-06-27 12:16:01 PM  
1 votes:

Magnanimous_J: eKonk:

I always find it funny, because if I'm up there with her, any girl who comes up there alone will take a chair really close to us, almost unconsciously. Rarely will she take a chair that isolated and she will NEVER take a chair near a guy who is there alone. My theory is that the insecurity that comes with being in a vulnerable position, laying out with your eyes closed usually wearing a bikini triggers some monkey part of their brains that says "This male is protecting this female, if I stay near to him, but submissive to his female, he will protect me too." Even though I may never have seen her before.

Then, to monkey it up even further, other men won't come close to our group even if it's clear that I'm only there with my girlfriend and the other woman is just some chick who pulled up a chair. I can almost sense a tension as they walk by, even if I'm just laying there reading a book, and nothing about my body language is remotely aggressive.


/CSB
Hehe. My wife discovered this. Did some traveling and I wandered off to get a coffee on some early butt-crack-of-dawn flight. Came back, stood next to my wife in line to board. She started cracking up.

While I was gone the guy in front of her was talking with her (and maybe flirting - my wife never notices) but as soon as I joined her he turned around, stopped talking, didn't acknowledge her or us...

The contrast was such that my wife had to comment on it. I tried to explain that was normal, and she declared all males weird.
2012-06-27 10:55:01 AM  
1 votes:
Because the callus and tan line aren't enough of a giveaway.

Also sizing your ring so small that it leaves an imprint is silly, snug enough not to fall off but loose enough your finger doesn't turn purple.
2012-06-27 10:39:51 AM  
1 votes:

ringersol: Were they actually coming on to you?


So chicks have been told that they are born with the most valuable and desirable commodity on the earth. Of course they're going to put that idea to the test throughout the course of their lives. I have known enough girls that used that commodity to make a point several times. Of course when I was young, I thought (and even they probably thought) they were proving the point to a rival female or an estranged male known or unknown... but now, in my advanced age, I realize that they were trying to prove something to themselves; namely that they indeed were in possession of the most prized of all assets and could wield it like a fleshy wet pink light sabre.

Girls will "come on to"/test the waters/befriend married guys for the reasons you cited for sure - but mostly, they're seeking some kind of acknowledgement that you find their particular commodity more desirable than any other. It's why married assholes pull the lion's share of the poon - it's also why guys tend to get caught cheating with horsefaces, fat nannies, etc... Those women are practically giving it away - and dudes generally will never hit it with the idea of leaving their current spouse...

It says all that stuff right here in my manual - it's much more detailed, but you get the idea... the ring does draw in more game, and the more you ignore them without being dismissive, the harder they will work to validate their preconceived notions about themselves and their value. Try it - try being a married asshole. Poon Avalanches may result.
2012-06-27 10:07:00 AM  
1 votes:
Yeah, having your fiancee suggest a ring that does that should be a major "Psycho Hosebeast" Alarm.
2012-06-27 09:59:22 AM  
1 votes:
Son, if you must put your dick in crazy, for chrissakes don't put a ring on for it.
2012-06-27 09:56:25 AM  
1 votes:
It's cute that so many people still believe that humans are meant to remain with a single mate. We want to have sex with many different people because we're supposed to.

Me first, please.
2012-06-27 09:35:01 AM  
1 votes:

miss diminutive: That's certainly going to provide a solid foundation for a marriage built on trust and respect.

Here's an idea, if you think your partner might cheat....DON'T MARRY THEM.


but if you don't marry them, you ain't getting paid. it's not just about changing a man, but about getting his assets. everything he owns is now your property also, and another woman sliding into that is a threat to a woman's material security as well. all that bullshiat about love is not bullshiat, but it's not the total truth either, for a woman.
2012-06-27 08:58:59 AM  
1 votes:
My husband rarely wears his ring. It would have been destroyed by now by the kind of work he does. I figure if he's going to cheat, what good is a ring going to do about it?
2012-06-27 08:37:28 AM  
1 votes:

itsdan: It's adorable that they think the mistresses don't often know the guy is married.


Those whores see it as a challenge. As soon as I got married there was a noticeable increase in women coming on to me.
2012-06-27 08:33:36 AM  
1 votes:

ilikeracecars: FirstNationalBastard: How cute... the article says "buying your husband-to-be this ring is not an option", like it's a given that the pweshus widdle delicate flowers of femininity don't cheat, too.

Oh, wait, it's always the man's fault.

When the man cheats, he's an a**hole, when the woman cheats, its because the husband wasn't taking care of her needs


Don't forget, when a woman cheats, it's ok because "I don't love him! I still love you!"
2012-06-27 08:29:50 AM  
1 votes:
Your marriage is doomed if you feel you need this
2012-06-27 08:29:01 AM  
1 votes:
How farking tight are you supposed to wear a ring? For that to work, it's gonna have to be cutting off circulation.
2012-06-27 08:27:02 AM  
1 votes:
How cute... the article says "buying your husband-to-be this ring is not an option", like it's a given that the pweshus widdle delicate flowers of femininity don't cheat, too.

Oh, wait, it's always the man's fault.
 
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