CSB:

Every damn morning for well over three years, back in when I used to commute to work, right along Southwestern and Abrams in the Village apartment complex in Dallas, someone would disembowel a local Greensheet newspaper or something, and scatter it for nearly a block down the median.

You would think that after the 3rd, or 4th, or fark, even the 40th time, someone would get up at the crack of dawn or whenever, and sit off in a parking lot, waiting for the offender to do their thing, and then record it and call the cops.

I WFH now so I have no idea if it still happens.

OH, and it should be law that if a litterer is caught, then 50 people at random get to take a shiat in their house, car, laundry hamper, kitchen sink, and refrigerator.

Here's what they're trying to say: "I'm a sociopathic asshole who enjoys watching the world burn."...

markie_farkie: CSB:

Every damn morning for well over three years, back in when I used to commute to work, right along Southwestern and Abrams in the Village apartment complex in Dallas, someone would disembowel a local Greensheet newspaper or something, and scatter it for nearly a block down the median.

You would think that after the 3rd, or 4th, or fark, even the 40th time, someone would get up at the crack of dawn or whenever, and sit off in a parking lot, waiting for the offender to do their thing, and then record it and call the cops.

I WFH now so I have no idea if it still happens.

OH, and it should be law that if a litterer is caught, then 50 people at random get to take a shiat in their house, car, laundry hamper, kitchen sink, and refrigerator.

They need to leave a triple decker. That's where you drop a loaf on the toilet seat, one in the tank, and another on top of the tank.

untaken_name: MythDragon: markie_farkie: CSB:

Every damn morning for well over three years, back in when I used to commute to work, right along Southwestern and Abrams in the Village apartment complex in Dallas, someone would disembowel a local Greensheet newspaper or something, and scatter it for nearly a block down the median.

You would think that after the 3rd, or 4th, or fark, even the 40th time, someone would get up at the crack of dawn or whenever, and sit off in a parking lot, waiting for the offender to do their thing, and then record it and call the cops.

I WFH now so I have no idea if it still happens.

OH, and it should be law that if a litterer is caught, then 50 people at random get to take a shiat in their house, car, laundry hamper, kitchen sink, and refrigerator.

They need to leave a triple decker. That's where you drop a loaf on the toilet seat, one in the tank, and another on top of the tank.

I'm almost afraid to ask, but WTF do you have to eat to prepare for that?

A combination of a giant block of swiss cheese and Taco Bell. The 'tacos' act as a clearing agent for all the stuff in your intestines, and the cheese acts as a binding agent to allow you to hold 3 days worth of Doritos Locos. By noon on day 4, you will be in a considerable amount of pain, but the results will be worth it.

Two things I learned, that will save you some time and grief. Poop placement is very important. Start IN the tank, then on top of the tank, and then on the seat. If you do it out of order, things can get....messy for you. You don't want to poop on the lid, and then have to move the lid to poop in the tank. That will allow people to catch you brown-handed. You also don't want to start at the bottom, since you'll be standing there for most of the operation. You can't conduct a stealth op when you are leaving poo-tracks. People will follow them to you, like those guards in the snowy areas of Metal Gear Solid. Unless you walk in a circle before hiding, then they might end up just following your poo tracks around for a while while you hide.

Also, when you are driving to your mark's location, avoid major speedbumps. That results of a sudden release of a 4 day stoppage isn't something that cleas up easy. You'll probably have to salvage the car.

Or you could just work with a team, but whatevs.

spentmile's wonderful post about his exploits with hotel room Kleenex boxes got deleted? WTF admins? Thats Fark gold right there.

Hey man, speaking from the side of the poor shlub who has the clean the parkway - it's job security.