If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   If you invade Switzerland, prepare to have bridges dropped on you. Or artificial landslides   (bldgblog.blogspot.ca) divider line 46
    More: Scary, tactical nuclear weapon, bomb shelters, bridge collapse, civil protection, residential areas, mcphee, meadows, bridges  
•       •       •

4213 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Jun 2012 at 8:39 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-06-26 08:31:08 PM
Yeah, that sounds like Switzerland. One of the few countries that I can point to that I consider more zenophobic than Americans. Along with North Korea and the Bahamas.
 
2012-06-26 08:40:34 PM

SphericalTime: Yeah, that sounds like Switzerland. One of the few countries that I can point to that I consider more zenophobic than Americans. Along with North Korea and the Bahamas.


Um, how about Britain? Or at least its constituent parts. Where do you think America came from (culturally, anyway)? Somehow people have been able to ignore the rampant "racism" (or xenophobia) that the Brits have against Poles, and Germans, and lots and lots of other people (Pakistanis, for instance). They can hate "the other" as well as anybody. Oh, and Germans, too. I was in Berlin for about 2.5 days a couple of years ago, and almost got in 3 fights, because I looked "English." Never mind I'm friggin' Irish, I pretty much had to fight my way out of that damned city.

But Switzerland, ooooohhhh yeah. "Porcupine" policy: train your whole populace as marksmen, and see what happens when you get invaded. Millions of mountain-hardy guerillas materialize out of nowhere, your army gets sniped constantly. Fierce people.
 
2012-06-26 08:49:57 PM
It's almost like they're in the middle of a bunch of countries who historically tend to get all invadey.
 
2012-06-26 08:52:21 PM

Mister Peejay: It's almost like they're in the middle of a bunch of countries who historically tend to get all invadey.


And they saw their reflection in the snow covered hills...
 
2012-06-26 08:54:21 PM
Isn't that kinda what a military does to a country when they invade?
 
2012-06-26 08:56:32 PM
Note to invaders of Switzerland:

Switzerland has prepositioned explosives to create landslides. Be sure and bury the Swiss populace alive by exploding these charges during the first moments of your invasion.
 
2012-06-26 09:07:46 PM

SphericalTime: Yeah, that sounds like Switzerland. One of the few countries that I can point to that I consider more zenophobic than Americans. Along with North Korea and the Bahamas.


Japan isn't known for its love of outsiders, either...
 
2012-06-26 09:10:37 PM

Makh: Isn't that kinda what a military does to a country when they invade?


Sort of, but generally not on their own heads.
 
2012-06-26 09:15:07 PM

Boudica's War Tampon: Note to invaders of Switzerland:

Switzerland has prepositioned explosives to create landslides. Be sure and bury the Swiss populace alive by exploding these charges during the first moments of your invasion.


Actually, the article just says that they're designed to be brought down, and that fuses are already placed. I think, due to the decay of explosives, those are probably waiting for the actual invasion.
 
2012-06-26 09:21:44 PM

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: other people (Pakistanis, for instance)


The Pakis ain't people, mate.

/to be read at full yob.
 
2012-06-26 09:26:53 PM

SphericalTime: zenophobic


Fack that dude's paradoxes.
 
2012-06-26 09:40:27 PM
Protection from what, zee Germans?
 
2012-06-26 09:41:07 PM
So the whole country is like one huge Bond villian then? Is "Suisse" actually a goofy acronym for something?
 
2012-06-26 09:43:42 PM
I'll never trust Swiss Miss Cocoa again. Probably has rat poison in it.
 
2012-06-26 09:47:31 PM

skinink: I'll never trust Swiss Miss Cocoa again. Probably has rat poison in it.


There's little to worry about, it's a binary agent that requires a second, undisclosed product to be used at the same time.
 
2012-06-26 09:48:25 PM

ChubbyTiger: Sort of, but generally not on their own heads.


But considering that some people do the drone strikes to various places first this wouldn't be a problem.
 
2012-06-26 09:49:27 PM

Fano: There's little to worry about, it's a binary agent that requires a second, undisclosed product to be used at the same time.


I'll bet it's marshmallows.
 
2012-06-26 09:55:02 PM
Hmmm. If I were a terrorist, knowing that a bridge was pre-loaded with explosives and all I had to do was detonate it would be very useful information.
 
2012-06-26 09:55:16 PM
Makh: Isn't that kinda what a military does to a country when they invade?

It's a bit more selective than that.

If the bridge is useful to you and you control it => it stays
If you don't control it, and/or your enemy is using => it goes

It doesn't matter if you're defending or invading. They've just prewired everything for defense (so some poor schmuck doesn't have to run out there to plant charges at the last minute all saving private ryan style.

// For attackers, there's also the "fark your bridges, we brought our own" option.
www.army-technology.com

But I'm guessing that the there are much larger traverses around Switzerland.
 
2012-06-26 09:58:04 PM
Makh : I'll bet it's marshmallows.

It's nutenmeg.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZkP3FaROJ0
 
2012-06-26 10:02:56 PM
 
2012-06-26 10:11:27 PM

Hack Patooey: Protection from what, zee Germans?


More likely ze PIIGS at this point, once they all go broke and get hungry.
 
2012-06-26 10:22:30 PM

Hack Patooey: Protection from what, zee Germans?


Don't mention the war.
 
2012-06-26 10:31:15 PM

Mentat: Hack Patooey: Protection from what, zee Germans?

Don't mention the war

profits.

/feexed
 
2012-06-26 10:36:04 PM
I think this is what they mean in international law when they say "countries are responsible for enforcing/preserving their own neutrality."
 
2012-06-26 10:38:27 PM
Oldnewsissoexciting.jpg
 
2012-06-26 10:48:42 PM
It's to keep out those shifty Liechtensteiners!
 
2012-06-26 10:51:00 PM
Is all this connected to the Internet?
 
2012-06-26 10:59:56 PM

elchip: SphericalTime: Yeah, that sounds like Switzerland. One of the few countries that I can point to that I consider more zenophobic than Americans. Along with North Korea and the Bahamas.

Japan isn't known for its love of outsiders, either...


Not so, they love outsiders. Why the koreans and Chinese have gotten plenty of attention from them. Why they like the outsiders so much they just couldn't keep their hands off them(or their lands.)
 
2012-06-26 11:03:09 PM

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes: Oh, and Germans, too. I was in Berlin for about 2.5 days a couple of years ago, and almost got in 3 fights, because I looked "English." Never mind I'm friggin' Irish, I pretty much had to fight my way out of that damned city.


I am curious to know what features make you look more englishy. Did you have a birthmark that looked curiously like the union jack? How did they pick you out? Just the language was enough to incite them?
 
2012-06-26 11:07:45 PM
Holy crap. Switzerland... the more I hear about it the awesomer it sounds.
 
2012-06-26 11:17:06 PM

SphericalTime:
Yeah, that sounds like Switzerland. One of the few countries that I can point to that I consider more zenophobic than Americans. Along with North Korea and the Bahamas.


Tell Me How My Blog Tastes:
Um, how about Britain? Or at least its constituent parts. Where do you think America came from (culturally, anyway)? Somehow people have been able to ignore the rampant "racism" (or xenophobia) that the Brits have against Poles, and Germans, and lots and lots of other people (Pakistanis, for instance). They can hate "the other" as well as anybody.

Oh, and Germans, too. I was in Berlin for about 2.5 days a couple of years ago, and almost got in 3 fights, because I looked "English." Never mind I'm friggin' Irish, I pretty much had to fight my way out of that damned city.


Mister Peejay:
It's almost like they're in the middle of a bunch of countries who historically tend to get all invadey.


elchip:
Japan isn't known for its love of outsiders, either...



and...I think to myself...what a wonnerful wurllllll,,
 
2012-06-26 11:54:19 PM
Blow up their own bridges?

imagecache2.allposters.com
 
2012-06-27 12:44:06 AM
Shortly before World War I, the German Kaiser was the guest of the Swiss government to observe military maneuvers. The Kaiser asked a Swiss militiaman: "You are 500,000 and you shoot well, but if we attack with 1,000,000 men what will you do?" The soldier replied: "We will shoot twice and go home."
 
2012-06-27 12:52:03 AM
So...

i.imgur.com

New Bern?
 
2012-06-27 12:55:23 AM

A-Rth-Urp-Hil-Ipdenu: So...

[i.imgur.com image 353x176]

New Bern?



I'm not sure how exciting it would be to play a game set after the end of the world where society is humming along nicely in a pristine alpine landscape after the rest of the world is gone.

Quest received: Go to the market and buy groceries with your strong and stable currency.
 
2012-06-27 01:25:46 AM
mongbiohazard: Quest received: Go to the market and buy groceries with your strong and stable currency.

Have to go into the badlands for resources.
 
2012-06-27 02:01:48 AM
Good thing no enemy country has an air force, or they'd really be in trouble.


/But I wouldn't put it past the Swiss to have figured out a way to drop a bridge onto a plane... upwards
 
2012-06-27 02:24:58 AM
They're just planning to enact their own version of the Redecker Plan when the zombie apocalypse happens.
 
2012-06-27 02:45:56 AM
Lucerne an Zurich were fun to visit.
 
2012-06-27 03:01:17 AM
And they also have a black hole death machine.

/you thought the CERN supercollider was for research?
 
2012-06-27 06:02:06 AM

A-Rth-Urp-Hil-Ipdenu: So...

[i.imgur.com image 353x176]

New Bern?


As someone who lives in Bern, I laughed.

The Swiss are the nicest xenophobic people I know. Every single person I've met is pleasant, warm, and welcoming...but "the system" as a whole is set up to make it extremely difficult for ausländer to become "Swiss" (or really, to fully fit in as non-Swiss residents). That said, the grad school tuition is cheap (about $850/semester), cost of living isn't so bad once one gets paid in Francs, the beer is delicious, and the research is good...so here I am.

And yes, the Swiss military is well-prepared for all sorts of different invasion scenarios.

/no, the actual Swiss Army Knives issued to the soldiers are not red. They're olive green. They also don't have corkscrews.
 
2012-06-27 06:58:34 AM

lordargent:

// For attackers, there's also the "fark your bridges, we brought our own" option.
[www.army-technology.com image 500x375]


Try getting that thing up a Swiss mountain road!
 
2012-06-27 08:10:34 AM

Cormee: lordargent:

// For attackers, there's also the "fark your bridges, we brought our own" option.
[www.army-technology.com image 500x375]


Try getting that thing up a Pile of rocks that used to be a Swiss mountain road!

 
2012-06-27 08:44:30 AM

HighZoolander: Good thing no enemy country has an air force, or they'd really be in trouble.


/But I wouldn't put it past the Swiss to have figured out a way to drop a bridge onto a plane... upwards


Interesting thing about that: Switzerland has adopted the "Second Amendment" method of deterring invasion. They don't have to actually be able to *WIN*, they just have to make it so difficult and expensive that no one is going to try. You can't win against an insurrection, especially one that is organized as well as the Swiss, with air power. It just isn't going to happen. We didn't win in Vietnam despite complete air superiority, we didn't win in Iraq that way (we co-opted the opposition politically instead), the Soviets didn't win in Afghanistan despite almost complete mastery of the air*, nor are we necessarily winning in Afghanistan due to air power. Air power is great against conventional forces. It's less effective against the body of the people as a whole, each individual capable of being militarily effective having access to arms, and the knowledge and will to use them.

After all, if you look at Europe, in WWII Switzerland was basically surrounded by Axis powers: Nazi Germany had invaded and absorbed Austria, and the Italians administered the area of France contiguous with Switzerland that didn't border on German occupied France. Yet Hitler never gave serious thought to invade. It would have been just too difficult, and he knew it would eat up divisions even with complete air superiority, and that he'd have to face a never-ending insurrection that would tie down too many men.

*I know the myth has built up that US-supplied Stinger missiles tipped the balance, but the Soviets weren't winning prior to their introduction. At best, they hastened what was inevitable due to systemic deficiencies in Soviet tactical, strategic, and political doctrine.
 
2012-06-27 10:40:04 AM

dittybopper: HighZoolander: Good thing no enemy country has an air force, or they'd really be in trouble.


/But I wouldn't put it past the Swiss to have figured out a way to drop a bridge onto a plane... upwards

Interesting thing about that: Switzerland has adopted the "Second Amendment" method of deterring invasion. They don't have to actually be able to *WIN*, they just have to make it so difficult and expensive that no one is going to try.


Yep, essentially you'd have to kill ever last one of them in order to take over the Swiss. And really, the land itself just isn't that valuable, what good is a country if they are all dead.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report