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(Some Guy)   Captain's Log of the Prometheus: "Weyland Corporation must not give a crap about this mission since they hired Insane Clown Posse to be our science team"   (larrycorreia.wordpress.com) divider line 491
    More: Amusing, Insane Clown Posse, Prometheus, Idris Elba, Charlize Theron, last things, Uh Huh, Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace  
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11460 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Jun 2012 at 3:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-26 11:42:10 AM  
Hahaha lol there was that... Must've been prison geologists.

Also, how they drop a serious but silly subplot and Noone talks about it again.

Crap movie? Or will this make more sense in the director's cut?
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-06-26 12:14:45 PM  
Some of that was explained by scenes that were cut, but there was plenty that didn't make sense.
 
2012-06-26 12:17:33 PM  
The problem with Prometheus being a Thinking movie is that the more you think about it, the less it makes sense. The more I think about it, the more things I have a hard time with.

Bingo.


Also... This made me laugh.
 
2012-06-26 12:20:24 PM  
Meanwhile, back on the bridge. I was just chilling and playing with my accordion

Concertina
 
2012-06-26 12:21:03 PM  
Wait, people went to Prometheus believing it was a "Thinking Person's movie"?

I went in for a fun popcorn sci-fi/horror flick, and got what I wanted.
 
2012-06-26 12:21:42 PM  
" "Great idea. Let's have sex and smoke pot so the slasher can murder us faster while we're distracted!"

Hadn't thought about it until now, but that's exactly what happened in the movie. Too many cliches and overused tropes to make it a good movie. It was damn pretty, but had about as much substance as Avatar
 
2012-06-26 12:26:06 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Hadn't thought about it until now, but that's exactly what happened in the movie. Too many cliches and overused tropes to make it a good movie.



At least they didn't send the black guy off by himself, to certain doom.

They had friends go with him.
 
2012-06-26 12:27:33 PM  

vpb: Some of that was explained by scenes that were cut, but there was plenty that didn't make sense.


This is my feeling.

Just based on the weird juxtapositions and assumptions made by the characters, I presume that there has to be another half hour or so of scenes that were cut for time.
 
2012-06-26 12:30:54 PM  

scottydoesntknow: " "Great idea. Let's have sex and smoke pot so the slasher can murder us faster while we're distracted!"

Hadn't thought about it until now, but that's exactly what happened in the movie. Too many cliches and overused tropes to make it a good movie. It was damn pretty, but had about as much substance as Avatar



You had to go and use that word, and now I'm in the vortex.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-06-26 12:33:50 PM  

meat0918: Wait, people went to Prometheus believing it was a "Thinking Person's movie"?

I went in for a fun popcorn sci-fi/horror flick, and got what I wanted.


Some of the trailers gave that impression, but I think it would have to be 4 hours long to really explain everything.
 
2012-06-26 12:34:19 PM  

Sybarite: scottydoesntknow: " "Great idea. Let's have sex and smoke pot so the slasher can murder us faster while we're distracted!"

Hadn't thought about it until now, but that's exactly what happened in the movie. Too many cliches and overused tropes to make it a good movie. It was damn pretty, but had about as much substance as Avatar


You had to go and use that word, and now I'm in the vortex.


Hehehe as soon as I said that, I was like "ehh might as well check TVtropes listing on Prometheus and see what they say"

/Down the rabbit hole I go
//Productivity for today is officially shot to hell
 
2012-06-26 12:51:55 PM  

vpb: Some of the trailers gave that impression



I have to mention that they had the shiattiest trailer control of any recent movie I can remember.

"Oh yeah, show everyone that there's an alien spaceship and they have to crash into it to keep it from taking off."
 
2012-06-26 12:58:49 PM  

Blues_X: vpb: Some of the trailers gave that impression


I have to mention that they had the shiattiest trailer control of any recent movie I can remember.

"Oh yeah, show everyone that there's an alien spaceship and they have to crash into it to keep it from taking off."


Yeah, trailers these days can be pieced together to give you most of the movie.

I remember figuring out the "secret" of the Sixth Sense before it was even released.
 
2012-06-26 01:02:55 PM  

Blues_X: vpb: Some of the trailers gave that impression


I have to mention that they had the shiattiest trailer control of any recent movie I can remember.

"Oh yeah, show everyone that there's an alien spaceship and they have to crash into it to keep it from taking off."


That was another thing that pissed me off about the movie. EVERYTHING was given away in the trailers. The first trailer (with zero dialogue, just the old school Alien music) was fine, and made me excited to see it. Then the "They're engineers, they made US!" trailer gave that away. Then the Fassbender "I didn't think you had it in you. Poor choice of words." gave away that the chick would have some kind of alien in her. Then you see their ship crash into the Engineer's ship and that's given away. I felt like I had seen the whole movie off just the trailers.

They had some terrible marketing.
 
2012-06-26 01:06:30 PM  

Blues_X: scottydoesntknow: Hadn't thought about it until now, but that's exactly what happened in the movie. Too many cliches and overused tropes to make it a good movie.


At least they didn't send the black guy off by himself, to certain doom.

They had friends go with him.


And one of them was even a white guy.
 
2012-06-26 01:11:05 PM  

CheetahOlivetti: Blues_X: scottydoesntknow: Hadn't thought about it until now, but that's exactly what happened in the movie. Too many cliches and overused tropes to make it a good movie.


At least they didn't send the black guy off by himself, to certain doom.

They had friends go with him.

And one of them was even a white guy.


TVTropes even lists this part:

Black Dude Dies First: Averted. Janek, the Token Minority, survives until the climax, while Fifeld and Newburn are the first to die. Notably, when Janek does die at the end, it's the result of a Heroic Sacrifice that he planned himself. Incidentally, the black dude sacrificing himself is a common occurrence in the Alien franchise; in fact, Aliens is the only movie that doesn't feature it.
 
2012-06-26 01:15:37 PM  

vpb: Some of that was explained by scenes that were cut


What was explained? What was the explanation? Is the movie being incomplete (as released) supposed to be a positive or something?
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-06-26 01:28:50 PM  
Well, movies are about making money, and Fox wanted the length cut down because movies longer than two hours tend to be less commercially successful. So there are 23 minutes worth of cut scenes that will be on the disk version.

For instance there was a conversation between the engineer and David and there was scene where Shaw fights the Engineer with the ax.
 
2012-06-26 01:42:10 PM  

vpb: For instance there was a conversation between the engineer and David


Why would they cut that out?

vpb: there was scene where Shaw fights the Engineer with the ax


I hated everything about the last act, but I'm glad that was cut. It was already unbelievable that she's running/jumping/fighting when she just had an alien surgically removed from her stomach and only 25 staples holding her abdomen closed. I would've thought they had some sort of laser that cauterizes the opening and seals it, but then they pulled out...staples? I mean it's a machine that can be programmed to perform any medical procedure (as long as you're a male), but it still uses staples?!
 
2012-06-26 01:45:06 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Why would they cut that out?


Time.
 
2012-06-26 01:49:08 PM  

Shostie: scottydoesntknow: Why would they cut that out?

Time.


I understand that, but if it's actually critical to the plot, why would you cut it out?

Like when they cut out the story of Ripley's daughter in Aliens. The one about how she wanted to see her daughter (promised to be home on her 11th birthday), but 67 years had passed and her daughter was already dead. That story gave the entire motivation for why Ripley cared so much for Newt/why she risked her life to save the kid. Otherwise you're wondering why Ripley even cared about some kid she met in a dirty air duct.
 
2012-06-26 01:53:09 PM  

scottydoesntknow: I understand that, but if it's actually critical to the plot, why would you cut it out?


Because they felt that the movie could stand without it.

scottydoesntknow: Otherwise you're wondering why Ripley even cared about some kid she met in a dirty air duct.


I never wondered that. I chalked it up to matronly instincts.
 
2012-06-26 01:59:01 PM  
Article stands up fairly nicely against the Abridged Script, though I like the format of the scripts better
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-06-26 02:19:41 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Shostie: scottydoesntknow: Why would they cut that out?

Time.

I understand that, but if it's actually critical to the plot, why would you cut it out?

Like when they cut out the story of Ripley's daughter in Aliens. The one about how she wanted to see her daughter (promised to be home on her 11th birthday), but 67 years had passed and her daughter was already dead. That story gave the entire motivation for why Ripley cared so much for Newt/why she risked her life to save the kid. Otherwise you're wondering why Ripley even cared about some kid she met in a dirty air duct.


I don't know that it is. I think Scott decided to keep some things ambiguous for the sequels (There are supposed to be two). I strongly suspect that we are going to find out that David was mistaken or lying and that they farked up by destroying the Engineer ship.

Two of the archaeological finds showing a giant alien pointing at stars were hundreds of years after the Engineers were wiped out by the black goo, so it looks like they visited Earth twice after they were supposedly going to wipe us out.

Here is a prety good write up on it.
 
2012-06-26 02:22:13 PM  

dahmers love zombie: Article stands up fairly nicely against the Abridged Script, though I like the format of the scripts better


The Abridged Script is way funnier. Hadn't seen it before, thanks for the link.
 
2012-06-26 02:42:39 PM  
Let me just say that from a plot perspective, Prometheus was the dumbest movie I've seen since The Hurt Locker.
 
2012-06-26 02:56:07 PM  

pudding7: Let me just say that from a plot perspective, Prometheus was the dumbest movie I've seen since The Hurt Locker.


Hurt locker had a great sense of tension though. That scene when they were looking for a car bomb and everyone was staring at them? Reminded me of when I was young, hunting with Dad, where a cow moose started stalking us and nearly charged us. I never felt more alive than that moment!
 
2012-06-26 03:06:58 PM  
Submitter.

Vast swathes of Prometheus simply don't make any sense, no matter how much you rejigger the backstory.

The Red Letter Media take on it was also pretty amusing.
 
2012-06-26 03:10:34 PM  

MadSkillz: Crap movie? Or will this make more sense in the director's cut?


It makes sense now, people just expected to see a planet populated by them and killing non-stop, the movie is easily in the top 10 this year.

LawrencePerson: The Red Letter Media take on it was also pretty amusing.


No it wasnt, the fat boy is too stupid to grasp the idea of a plot.

The only thing I have an issue with was mentioned earlier on fark, one, you dont pet strange worms that come out of goo and you also dont run in a straight line when something is rolling after you.
 
kab
2012-06-26 03:11:36 PM  
FTA: "Charlize Theron was great "

wat
 
2012-06-26 03:13:01 PM  
Prometheus was the best comedy I've seen in years.
 
2012-06-26 03:17:32 PM  

steamingpile: MadSkillz: Crap movie? Or will this make more sense in the director's cut?

It makes sense now, people just expected to see a planet populated by them and killing non-stop, the movie is easily in the top 10 this year.

LawrencePerson: The Red Letter Media take on it was also pretty amusing.

No it wasnt, the fat boy is too stupid to grasp the idea of a plot.


Prometheus's plot was flimsy at best: Old guy wants to live longer.

That was the whole plot. Yippee.

Visuals were excellent, but it was just basically a slasher flick.
 
2012-06-26 03:19:52 PM  
As the credits rolled I turned to my date and said, " Seriously, we need to go straight to a bar so I can figure what the hell I just watched." And we did.
 
2012-06-26 03:20:59 PM  
Went to the bar that is...didn't necessarily decide on what we saw.
 
2012-06-26 03:21:50 PM  

Shazam999: steamingpile: MadSkillz: Crap movie? Or will this make more sense in the director's cut?

It makes sense now, people just expected to see a planet populated by them and killing non-stop, the movie is easily in the top 10 this year.

LawrencePerson: The Red Letter Media take on it was also pretty amusing.

No it wasnt, the fat boy is too stupid to grasp the idea of a plot.

Prometheus's plot was flimsy at best: Old guy wants to live longer.

That was the whole plot. Yippee.

Visuals were excellent, but it was just basically a slasher flick.


You can reduce any story to one sentence like that it doesn't mean the plot is simple
 
2012-06-26 03:24:49 PM  
One of the big disappointments was that the Space Jockey wasn't an elephant-headed alien dude with prominent ribs, just a superhuman in organic, ribbed, elephant-headed armor. And there was a specific point where I gave up and decided it wasn't up to snuff. After a long convoluted scene in which Noomi Rapace manages to give herself an alien abortion, IT'S NEVER MENTIONED BY ANYONE. She stumbles in, all bloody and shaking, on Weyland, David and various red shirts, and nobody says, "What just happened?" and she doesn't say, "Oh, I just left a horrible alien squid fetus in your surgical pod, you might want to look into that." No, David just gives her a clean robe and we get some fountain of youth woo-woo dialogue. WTF?
 
2012-06-26 03:25:12 PM  
This is why i dont go to the theater anymore. Prometheus was f*cking retarded.
 
2012-06-26 03:26:20 PM  
I like my sci-fi to explore themes and current events in a futuristic setting to give new perspective.

Prometheus didn't do anything for me.
 
2012-06-26 03:27:20 PM  
Ok, so what should've happened then, smartypants? I want a list.
 
2012-06-26 03:28:08 PM  
ITT (and all over America, apparently): People who get confused and angry when a movie doesn't hold their hand and explain everything to them like they're retarded or under the age of 6. You people must farking despise Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy if Prometheus gets you all grumpy.

Seriously, use your farking brain and imagination some. Not only will you enjoy Prometheus more, you'll find a lot of things in life are suddenly more interesting and/or entertaining when you actually use your brain for more than the motor function required to shovel more snacks in your gaping gob.
 
2012-06-26 03:30:05 PM  
It was an amusing movie, but there were more than a few glaring plot holes. Hell, the fact that the constellation of stars recorded across all those civilizations didn't change over 30,000 years is flat out wrong, and that's the first few minutes. Then there's the complete lack of concern for biological contamination, the short duration of the trip through space...

I still enjoyed the movie.
 
2012-06-26 03:30:32 PM  

CPennypacker: Shazam999: steamingpile: MadSkillz: Crap movie? Or will this make more sense in the director's cut?

It makes sense now, people just expected to see a planet populated by them and killing non-stop, the movie is easily in the top 10 this year.

LawrencePerson: The Red Letter Media take on it was also pretty amusing.

No it wasnt, the fat boy is too stupid to grasp the idea of a plot.

Prometheus's plot was flimsy at best: Old guy wants to live longer.

That was the whole plot. Yippee.

Visuals were excellent, but it was just basically a slasher flick.

You can reduce any story to one sentence like that it doesn't mean the plot is simple


Feel free to add any additional plot points from the film.

Not saying it was bad per se, but it was mostly trite. I blame Lindelorf or whatever the hell his name is.
 
2012-06-26 03:31:02 PM  
That review was dead on.
 
2012-06-26 03:32:01 PM  

nitrowhip: Went to the bar that is...didn't necessarily decide on what we saw.


Did the same, except a coffee shop. It was about a day later that I finally figured out what I had seen, and that I didn't like it.
 
2012-06-26 03:32:23 PM  
And for the guy who was defending "Prometheus" from all comers in the last thread I was in, yes, I understand that "Alien" was not the best movie of all time. What "Alien" had going for it was economy of purpose. It was a horror film in space, with enough backstory to get you moving, and that was it. No woo-woo handwaving, no big budgets, no big stars, just tension, action and a guy in a rubber suit. The mystery was there to keep you bewildered and off your balance. It worked, and it worked well.

Here, the writer was juggling a couple decades of backstory and fan expectations, and went for the woo-woo, simple fixes and men-behind-the-curtain. I'm glad I never got in to "Lost", because if this guy was a driving force behind "Lost" it's no wonder that nothing ever made sense.
 
kab
2012-06-26 03:33:39 PM  
From the ropeofsilicon link posted above:

"Above we see what is referred to as the Elder Engineer performing what looks like a blessing on the younger one before he does his duty in drinking the black liquid (a liquid I don't believe to be the same as the goo we see later in the film) .(snip)....This in mind, upon drinking the black fluid and decomposing into the water, I see the beginnings of a world built entirely on the essence of a pure life force, untainted by disease, stress, jealousy, rage, envy, war, etc."

Actually, the liquid probably IS the same, seeing how quickly it killed him. So, by giving himself up as life, he also brought death along with it, and both were spread / diluted, for lack of a better term.
 
2012-06-26 03:34:46 PM  

theorellior: One of the big disappointments was that the Space Jockey wasn't an elephant-headed alien dude with prominent ribs, just a superhuman in organic, ribbed, elephant-headed armor


How did he get back on the ship and in the pilot seat to be discovered by the crew in Alien? He was killed in the survival pod after the squid-thing face raped him and a chest burster ripped out of him.

/another hole
 
2012-06-26 03:35:09 PM  

Shazam999: CPennypacker: Shazam999: steamingpile: MadSkillz: Crap movie? Or will this make more sense in the director's cut?

It makes sense now, people just expected to see a planet populated by them and killing non-stop, the movie is easily in the top 10 this year.

LawrencePerson: The Red Letter Media take on it was also pretty amusing.

No it wasnt, the fat boy is too stupid to grasp the idea of a plot.

Prometheus's plot was flimsy at best: Old guy wants to live longer.

That was the whole plot. Yippee.

Visuals were excellent, but it was just basically a slasher flick.

You can reduce any story to one sentence like that it doesn't mean the plot is simple

Feel free to add any additional plot points from the film.

Not saying it was bad per se, but it was mostly trite. I blame Lindelorf or whatever the hell his name is.


Seriously?

Lord of the rings:

A midget's journey to throw a ring into lava

The grapes of wrath:

Oklahoma dirt farmers move to California

Moby Dick:

Seaman is pissed at a whale

Star wars:

Orphan fights in a galactic civil war

Feel free to add plot points? You can dislike what you saw if you want to but are you sure you saw the movie and not a picture with a caption under it?
 
2012-06-26 03:35:16 PM  

Carlo Spicy-Wiener: Seriously, use your farking brain and imagination some.


I did use my brain. Many times. Mostly to ask myself, "Why the hell did this guy write this particular scene? Why did this character do something retarded? This isn't a mystery or a conundrum, it just doesn't make sense."

When I have to use my brain like that during a movie then the fault for the lack of suspense of disbelief does not fall on my shoulders.
 
2012-06-26 03:35:56 PM  
Good to see Larry getting some love.

Now go buy Monster Hunter International.
 
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