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(The Smoking Gun)   Massachusetts man charged with "assault and battery with a dangerous weapon to wit french fry." The weapon was provided by a clown named Ronald   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 45
    More: Asinine, Massachusetts, dangerous weapon, family car, french fries, drive-thru window, stepdaughters  
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4759 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2012 at 12:24 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-26 12:28:01 PM  
FTA: While the child was not injured, "the heat of the oil could cause burning to skin and eyes," a Lowell Police Department report notes.

Sounds like the police are providing some good material for a lawsuit against McD's for providing the man with a deadly weapon or for serving the fries at an unsafe temperature for human consumption.

/frakkin' idiots
 
2012-06-26 12:28:53 PM  
Throwing hot and greasy food at a child in front of her mother sounds like an efficient way to get arrested.
 
2012-06-26 12:29:42 PM  
i41.tinypic.com

/Approves.
 
2012-06-26 12:30:13 PM  
LIGHTENING BOLT!!! LIGHTENING BOLT!!! LIGHTENING BOLT!!!!
 
2012-06-26 12:33:11 PM  
Ahhh... Lowell... Our own little bit of Florida right here in Massachusetts. It's a good thing the man hadn't been armed with a McRib, otherwise he could have faced decades behind bars.
 
2012-06-26 12:35:29 PM  
There's a lot to like about Lowell.

Food based crime is not one of them.
 
2012-06-26 12:36:29 PM  
Hot and OILY? No thanks!
 
2012-06-26 12:38:47 PM  
You'll fry for this, Hackett

/too oily
 
2012-06-26 12:41:34 PM  
Tell it to the clown.

www.popcultcha.com.au
 
2012-06-26 12:45:34 PM  
They should arrest whichever McDonald's genius changed the french fry oil from beef shortening to vegetable shortning. McDonald's fries used to be sooooo good.
 
2012-06-26 12:47:11 PM  
To wit french fry? Is dat da cheeseburger combo?
 
2012-06-26 12:47:26 PM  
I bet the next time they're argueing she'll stay quiet... They're all disgusting for eating McDonalds... How many times do you have to watch "Super Size Me," before you getting the message?
 
2012-06-26 12:50:12 PM  
Oblig:
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_u ri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-8zslXqdglw&v= -8zslXqdglw&gl=US

Mugen's Donald

/hamburger
 
2012-06-26 12:50:55 PM  
This sounds like something straight from Monty Python.

Of course, I'm still alive today because I paid attention during the sketch on How to Defend Yourself Against a Man Armed With a Banana.
 
2012-06-26 12:51:23 PM  

ewitz: I bet the next time they're argueing she'll stay quiet... They're all disgusting for eating McDonalds... How many times do you have to watch "Super Size Me," before you getting the message?


Ok everyone, please submit the names of the restaurants you'd like to eat at for ewitz's approval before going out from now on.
 
2012-06-26 12:51:54 PM  
Somebody found a McDo french fry that was still hot? Why isn't this front page news?

It must be those commie environmentalist hoaxers in the MSM supressing the truth about industrial food again.
 
2012-06-26 12:53:25 PM  
Reagan?
 
2012-06-26 12:53:37 PM  
Sweet...

McDonald's should supply this man a real good lawyer, because if he loses his case, McDonald's might be sued by ever parent in the US for selling deadly weapons to children.
 
2012-06-26 12:57:07 PM  
Mass loves their dangerous weapon charge. My roommate was charged with that after dumping a bucket of water on someone.
 
2012-06-26 01:00:06 PM  
Yeah....well it's all fun and games until these deadly weapons get into the hands of Mexican Drug Lords.


That's right.....there are probably a few hundred that are halfway to the border by now
 
2012-06-26 01:03:23 PM  

Robert1966: Reagan?


bingo! little shiat should have said "Thank you Daddy, thank you and God Bless", said a prayer over her food and then ate quietly. and single Moms wonder why guys are afraid to get near them.
 
2012-06-26 01:05:55 PM  

ewitz: I bet the next time they're argueing she'll stay quiet... They're all disgusting for eating McDonalds... How many times do you have to watch "Super Size Me," before you getting the message?


The message being that if you don't eat McDonalds 3 meals a day, you won't turn out to be a fatty fat fat?
 
2012-06-26 01:06:54 PM  
Eh...

"A dangerous weapon is 'any instrument or instrumentality so constructed or so used as to be likely to produce death or great bodily harm.'" Commonwealth v. Fettes, 64 Mass.App.Ct. 917 (October 18, 2005) (discussing attack dogs as "dangerous weapons).

I'm thinking not guilty is the right plea here, and the DA and police officer should be ashamed.
 
2012-06-26 01:10:05 PM  
Oh, and...

While the child was not injured, "the heat of the oil could cause burning to skin and eyes," a Lowell Police Department report notes.

"(d) For the purposes of this section, "serious bodily injury" shall mean bodily injury which results in a permanent disfigurement, loss or impairment of a bodily function, limb or organ, or a substantial risk of death." is in the statute.

So, a french fry can only be a dangerous weapon if it would likely result in permanent disfigurement, loss, or impairment of the girl's eyes. And frankly, that oil ain't hot enough.
 
2012-06-26 01:19:12 PM  

nytmare: ewitz: I bet the next time they're argueing she'll stay quiet... They're all disgusting for eating McDonalds... How many times do you have to watch "Super Size Me," before you getting the message?

Ok everyone, please submit the names of the restaurants you'd like to eat at for ewitz's approval before going out from now on.


Haha, eat where and what you want nytmare. Just try to look at the big picture when it comes to medical issues our country has and will continue to have. You and your mondoshawan brothers and sisters are partially to blame.

Link
 
2012-06-26 01:23:00 PM  
Yea, I'd like two big macs, a cheeseburger, and two orders of biatch slap please.
 
2012-06-26 01:24:50 PM  

MythDragon: ewitz: I bet the next time they're argueing she'll stay quiet... They're all disgusting for eating McDonalds... How many times do you have to watch "Super Size Me," before you getting the message?

The message being that if you don't eat McDonalds 3 meals a day, you won't turn out to be a fatty fat fat?


No, the message is you will simply expedite the process, that is unless you have a lifestyle to somehow counterbalance all the garbage they put in their "food products."
 
2012-06-26 01:29:00 PM  

Theaetetus: Eh...

"A dangerous weapon is 'any instrument or instrumentality so constructed or so used as to be likely to produce death or great bodily harm.'" Commonwealth v. Fettes, 64 Mass.App.Ct. 917 (October 18, 2005) (discussing attack dogs as "dangerous weapons).

I'm thinking not guilty is the right plea here, and the DA and police officer should be ashamed.


so, a clarinet?
 
2012-06-26 01:44:56 PM  
Fries? I thought the burgers were Ronald's.
 
2012-06-26 01:44:56 PM  
He's 26, the kid is 11, they're eating McD's for dinner in their car. Wonder why they didn't wait to eat at home in their trailer. I wouldd bet they had Springer Tivo'd.
 
2012-06-26 01:51:05 PM  
Maybe 26 year old's shouldn't have a hand in raising 11 year old's. The entire situation smacks of class.
 
2012-06-26 02:00:37 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Would have been arrested and sentenced to life....
 
2012-06-26 02:04:54 PM  

nytmare: ewitz: I bet the next time they're argueing she'll stay quiet... They're all disgusting for eating McDonalds... How many times do you have to watch "Super Size Me," before you getting the message?

Ok everyone, please submit the names of the restaurants you'd like to eat at for ewitz's approval before going out from now on.


Lets not get to "argueing" about it...

/I'm Laughing at the Superior Intellect...
 
2012-06-26 03:01:52 PM  

ewitz: I bet the next time they're argueing she'll stay quiet... They're all disgusting for eating McDonalds... How many times do you have to watch "Super Size Me," before you getting the message?


Or you could forget Super Size Me and Spurlock as hack-jobs and watch Fat Head, a documentary by someone who didn't have an agenda to malign an easy target. The guy did largely the same thing, posted his food diary, lost 12lb and lowered his cholesteral.
 
2012-06-26 03:17:03 PM  
So, from now on, everyone will have to serve cold fries along with their cold coffee. Thanks, McDonald's customers.
 
2012-06-26 03:43:51 PM  
Ron "The Don" McDonald with his hitman "Grimace" and another accomplice simply know as "Birdy". No surprise they're involved in the weapons trade.
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2012-06-26 03:46:29 PM  
Fast and Furious.
 
2012-06-26 04:00:42 PM  
Hit me with your French Fry
Come on now hit me with your French Fry
Hit me with your French Fry
Frier away

Come on now daddy you don't fight fair
Don't want your strawberry shake in my hair
Chicken nuggets, or happy meal
Only 1 way to make me squeel

Hit me with your French Fry
Come on now hit me with your French Fry
Hit me with your French Fry
Frier away
 
2012-06-26 04:14:21 PM  

nicoffeine: So, from now on, everyone will have to serve cold fries along with their cold coffee. Thanks, McDonald's customers.


thank god there's burger king
 
2012-06-26 04:38:54 PM  

MeSoHomely: This sounds like something straight from Monty Python.

Of course, I'm still alive today because I paid attention during the sketch on How to Defend Yourself Against a Man Armed With a Banana.


You had a pointed stick?
 
2012-06-26 04:48:31 PM  
You know what? This thread may just have some legs.
I'm just gonna leave this here.
 
2012-06-26 06:47:12 PM  
If this guy gets convicted would that mean police are now able to shoot people who are holding french fries since they are "Dangerous Weapons"? Will I need to have a permit to purchase fries, handle, or consume them? What if I want concealed fries in a paper bag? Will I need to take an 8 hour course on how to properly handle and conceal them?

This is all sorts of ridiculous.
 
2012-06-26 07:45:00 PM  
Hot Fries? At McDonald's, or any other fast food joint, what a joke!
The only way to get hot fries at any fast food place, is to order them WITHOUT salt. They have to make them fresh or dunk the salted ones in the hot oil and then you have hot fries! So I would plead 'not guilty' because tepid fries are not a 'dangerous weapon'.
 
2012-06-26 07:48:05 PM  

Gyrfalcon: MeSoHomely: This sounds like something straight from Monty Python.

Of course, I'm still alive today because I paid attention during the sketch on How to Defend Yourself Against a Man Armed With a Banana.

You had a pointed stick?


SHUT UP!

t1.gstatic.com

/always one of my favorite sketches
//of course, no one was expecting me to say that.
 
2012-06-27 04:42:22 AM  

dbrunker: Ron "The Don" McDonald with his hitman "Grimace" and another accomplice simply know as "Birdy". No surprise they're involved in the weapons trade.


His facial structure looks kinda like a friend of mine, a nd not just because they're both clowns. It's kinda creepy.
 
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