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(The Oatmeal)   How movie theaters SHOULD be laid out. Mountain Dew/popcorn sludge seems strangely appetizing   (theoatmeal.com) divider line 20
    More: Obvious, movie theaters, popcorn  
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9797 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Jun 2012 at 11:34 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-26 11:48:14 AM  
3 votes:
On what planet are elderly movie watchers quiet? Every time I get seated near a blue hair, they spend half the movie saying, "What'd she say?" "Who's that?" "Why are they there?"
2012-06-26 12:22:11 PM  
2 votes:
I don't get the desire for a headphone jack... part of putting up with the hassles of going to a theater is (one would hope) great sound. Seems to me like headphones would be as counterproductive as wanting your own personal 3" screen. Why would I _want_ an "in-flight movie experience"?

To each their own, I guess.

Of course, count me among the misanthropes and antisocial: I can't remember the last time I've actually been in a theater... decent home theater + kegerator FTW.
2012-06-26 11:52:13 AM  
2 votes:
+1 to the noise cancelling headphones.

I have a disorder, the din of popcorn munching from the unwashed masses drives me into a fit of rage. It makes my blood boil into a froth that eventually takes me down a path that makes me hate a society that cannot go more than 90 minutes without having to stuff something into their egregious pie holes.

My movie theater is laid out like my living room. Cheaper and a better experience.

/hate theaters
2012-06-26 11:48:51 AM  
2 votes:
This is why, for me, it is well worth it to wait until the movie is out on disc and/or streaming. I have a nice TV and sound system, very comfortable sofa and chair, all the booze I want and none of you annoying shiats.
2012-06-26 11:47:32 AM  
2 votes:
Not so sure about the old people. They seem to talk amongst themselves a lot and say things like "what?!!?" continuously.
2012-06-27 06:33:29 AM  
1 votes:
I don't care who you are, if you can't hold it for 2 to 3 hours, you shouldn't be going to a damn movie. And you shouldn't be drinking a bathtub of soda in the first 20 minutes of the film either.
2012-06-26 05:18:00 PM  
1 votes:

tbartman68: Masterstuff: I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.

And don't forget - no kids, as well. I absolutely love going to the Drafthouse for a movie. Not to mention their awesome selection of craft beers you can enjoy during the show.

Eat, drink, be merry -- but if you disturb anyone, you're outta here!


The location I went to allows kids for some reason. They're still under the Do Not Disturb rules but they still can be a tad annoying. Last movie I saw was The Avengers and a kid next to me was fidgety for the most part and it didn't help that mom got him cookies from the menu. Then again he got so quietlygiddy whenever Iron Man was on screen so that bit of :3 made it not so annoying.
2012-06-26 04:35:58 PM  
1 votes:

Masterstuff: I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.


And don't forget - no kids, as well. I absolutely love going to the Drafthouse for a movie. Not to mention their awesome selection of craft beers you can enjoy during the show.

Eat, drink, be merry -- but if you disturb anyone, you're outta here!
2012-06-26 03:57:22 PM  
1 votes:
"It's a good thing they make you turn off your bazookas before movies man, or every one of my theater-going experiences would end in smoldering crater fashion." - Strong Bad Email #167: The Movies
2012-06-26 02:35:53 PM  
1 votes:

Passive Aggressive Larry: TNel: keepitcherry:
Exactly. I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick about it - just use common sense. Go before the movie starts and don't buy a 64oz soda. I also don't really mind when people get up to go to the bathroom, I just don't get why you would have to.

The nerve of people living their lives the way they want to! How dare they drink when they want to.

And what if you were about to leave for a long road trip with a few other people, would you purposely eat that big burrito that you know always gives you bad gas and the shiats? Do you have have to eat that burrito at that exact moment, knowing you had to be in a car with other people the next several hours? "But I really wanted it and I'm going to live my life the way I want to." Ok, that line of thinking is fine, but don't be surprised when other people think you are kinda stupid. And don't be surprised if them having to accommodate you, because you don't have any self control, can sometimes get on their nerves a little bit.

Whatever, as long as you aren't announcing to the entire theater that you have to pee every time you get up to use the restroom, I don't really care. It just doesn't make sense to me why you'd drink a lot before going to a movie.


having to pee in a place where you can easily get up and walk to a bathroom is quite different from being confined to a small space that you are filling up with your bean farts.
2012-06-26 02:32:09 PM  
1 votes:
Older people are always quiet and respectful during a movie.

Bullsh*t
2012-06-26 02:27:45 PM  
1 votes:
I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.
2012-06-26 01:56:07 PM  
1 votes:

keepitcherry:
Exactly. I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick about it - just use common sense. Go before the movie starts and don't buy a 64oz soda. I also don't really mind when people get up to go to the bathroom, I just don't get why you would have to.


The nerve of people living their lives the way they want to! How dare they drink when they want to.
jty
2012-06-26 01:20:48 PM  
1 votes:

bungle_jr: rpm: Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

- Age-restricted showings

- Armed, plainclothes marshal in every theater

- Show older and classic films


It's too bad that theaters primarily get their profits from concessions, since $5 waters, stale popcorn, and boxes of pure sugar don't really do it for me. Smuggle in your own water, some trail mix (healthier, tastier, cheaper, and the lack of sugar rush guarantees I won't nod off halfway through) and beers.

Replace the marshal with ushers that actually do toss people out, and you're describing the theater I go to.

/saw Metropolis with live orchestra in a power plant
//saw Nosferatu with live quartet
///Mad Max with a destruction derby (ok, that one was loud)
//Upcoming Dark Knight marathon FTW!

alamo drafthouse?

just a guess, i've never even been to austin aside from driving thru (VERY slowly) on our way home from corpus christi


I've heard of the Drafthouse from folks on Fark before...sounds great. Here in Saint Louis we have the Moolah theater. Beautifully restored Shriner temple with one screen (one of the largest in the area). Although there is a balcony section and some regular seating, the main floor is covered with very comfy leather couches, love seats, and armchairs, all with end tables. Plus just outside the theater room there is a full bar with very reasonable prices. On the weekends they usually have late-night showings of classics / '80's movies for $5.00, and if you get there early there's a bowling alley downstairs. It's ruined every other theater for me.
2012-06-26 01:14:44 PM  
1 votes:
If you can't hold it in for an 1 1/2 - 2 hour movie you are a child.
2012-06-26 12:50:35 PM  
1 votes:

Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

- Age-restricted showings

- Armed, plainclothes marshal in every theater

- Show older and classic films


It's too bad that theaters primarily get their profits from concessions, since $5 waters, stale popcorn, and boxes of pure sugar don't really do it for me. Smuggle in your own water, some trail mix (healthier, tastier, cheaper, and the lack of sugar rush guarantees I won't nod off halfway through) and beers.


Aside from the Marshals you just described Alamo Drafthouse, though the age restricted showings are only of older films in which they have a booze tie in.
2012-06-26 12:31:16 PM  
1 votes:
Hm, how long have we had an Oatmeal tag? I approve.

/Toilet of shame needs a sound-barrier, unless Adam Sandler movies are playing.
2012-06-26 11:59:37 AM  
1 votes:
The headphone jacks are a bit of genius, not that I'll ever go see a movie unless its at gunpoint.

/dislikes theatres
2012-06-26 11:41:10 AM  
1 votes:

Sybarite: I do not like the toilet of shame.


SQUIRREL!

that, and sometimes i MUST get up to use the restroom. i typically go to the movies during early afternoon matinees, and go to eat lunch somewhere just before. so the beverages i consumed at lunch + the 1/2 gallon soda or icee they sell me (yes, i get the SMALL) at the movie theater = gotta go right now
2012-06-26 11:21:32 AM  
1 votes:
I do not like the toilet of shame.
 
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