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(The Oatmeal)   How movie theaters SHOULD be laid out. Mountain Dew/popcorn sludge seems strangely appetizing   (theoatmeal.com) divider line 119
    More: Obvious, movie theaters, popcorn  
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9793 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Jun 2012 at 11:34 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-26 06:09:21 PM
I'm sure someone else mentioned this but I'm too busy too read all these frackin' comments.... but ejector seat treatment for anyone who's cell phone make a noise OR LIGHTS UP.
Also, if a movie is 2.25+ hours long put in a freakin' intermission you cheap bastard theater-owners. My knees hurt and my ass goes numb after 2 hours.
 
2012-06-26 07:05:22 PM
Heh...

It's my birthday and I took the day off... I walked down to the local theater and caught a 'cheap' 1PM showing of Prometheus in 3D. The theater has a decent pizza joint attached to it so I was able to bring a couple slices in with me and a drink. Along with the two beers I was able to sneak into the theater in my stomach.

There were three other people in the theater, and they were all well behaved.

Prometheus was... interesting. At least the pizza was good.
 
2012-06-26 08:26:52 PM
Where in the nine Hells are you going to the movies where they serve Mountain Dew?
 
2012-06-26 09:11:20 PM
I do my best to put up with crap the two times a year my wife and I go to the theater. Kids don't always behave, dialogue isn't always easy to hear, your bladder doesn't always cooperate - I tend not to hold those things against people. Three things I absolutely farking hate, though, are people coming in 5+ minutes after the movie starts (not the trailers... the movie) and making you get up so they can squeeze in instead of finding an empty row, teenagers with their blindingly bright cell phone screens being flipped open every 30 seconds to send/receive yet another text (LIK OMG IM WUTCHING A MOOVIE WHER R U???), and people who chew their popcorn with an open mouth.

Half of the problem is people being discourteous and half of the problem rests with the theater. There should be a cutoff for when patrons are allowed in and ushers should be escorting rude farkers out. I hate to be that guy, and I've never caused a scene, but many times I've let theater managers know how I would come out to movies more often if things were a bit more civilized.

Oh, I almost forgot: people with a cold or flu who go to see a movie. *cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough sniffle cough* x two hours.
 
2012-06-26 10:07:20 PM
CSS:

Two years ago I was in MI to visit family & friends, and one of my friends brought a small slingshot with him when we went to the movies. It was winter and we could sneak just about any food/candy we wanted into the theater so we didn't need to go to concession. I forgot what we went to watch, but I do remember that my friend used his slingshot with Whoppers and Junior Mints as ammo on people who used their cell phones, either talking or texting with their screen brightness on high.

/He had so many great head-shots, too
//It only took a couple hits for each the people using their phones to get the hint
///One dumbass teen, however, took 6 shots to the head before he stowed his cell
/Yes, it was a trial of endurance not to laugh when the people whipped around
//No, he never got caught
///Yes, it was more entertaining than whatever the fark we went to watch
//SLASHIES//
 
2012-06-26 10:42:59 PM

Masterstuff: I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.


Took the GF to the Alamo in Winchester,VA last year while we were on Vacation. Best theatre experience ever.
We need one closer to Pittsburgh.
 
2012-06-26 10:55:15 PM

RadicalArcher: CSS:

Two years ago I was in MI to visit family & friends, and one of my friends brought a small slingshot with him when we went to the movies. It was winter and we could sneak just about any food/candy we wanted into the theater so we didn't need to go to concession. I forgot what we went to watch, but I do remember that my friend used his slingshot with Whoppers and Junior Mints as ammo on people who used their cell phones, either talking or texting with their screen brightness on high.

/He had so many great head-shots, too
//It only took a couple hits for each the people using their phones to get the hint
///One dumbass teen, however, took 6 shots to the head before he stowed his cell
/Yes, it was a trial of endurance not to laugh when the people whipped around
//No, he never got caught
///Yes, it was more entertaining than whatever the fark we went to watch
//SLASHIES//


He must be a hell of a good shot.
 
2012-06-27 12:09:36 AM

idesofmarch: Hobo Jr.: What farking movie theater do ya'll go to?

In all the years I have gone to movies, only once have I had a bad experience. It was Matrix Revolution and it wasn't because of the people around me.

More importantly, WHEN do you go to the theater? If I go on opening weekend, there's usually some assholes texting or chatting. If I go on a weekday, it's usually so empty there's not a problem.

Psycoholic_Slag: When I was a kid they had these things called Drive-ins.

I just went to a drive-in this weekend (Unadilla, NY). I love the place because it is super cheap and has great, cheap snacks, but nowadays too many people drive SUVs and it can be impossible to see the screen if you're parked behind one.


Back in the childhood, the Drive-Ins we went to used to direct the bigger vehicles towards the back. It also put the van and truck-fuls nearer the concession stand.

Groovy Time For A Movie Time!
 
2012-06-27 12:43:51 AM
I'm pretty sure I heard the guy sitting behind me at a showing of Tron Legacy at the Riverview Theater in Minneapolis getting a full release from his GF during the first part of the picture. I didn't mind that distraction half as much as I do attention-whoring junior high/high school kids whooping down in the front rows.
 
2012-06-27 12:51:43 AM

Optimal_Illusion: Back in the childhood, the Drive-Ins we went to used to direct the bigger vehicles towards the back.


I think I might just recommend that to the management next time I go - they probably won't implement it since they don't have the manpower, but it's a good idea. Also, the next time I go I'm going to be adamant to my friends about what time we leave so we don't get there late and can actually get a good spot close to the front - that would solve the problem right there.
 
2012-06-27 02:01:22 AM

KellyX: he should of went

gone to

/could of have
//should of have
/would of have
//use c/s/woulda, save time
 
2012-06-27 05:18:11 AM

under a mountain: Not so sure about the old people. They seem to talk amongst themselves a lot and say things like "what?!!?" continuously.


Agreed. There's a dollar (well, $2.50 now) theater near me that shows tons of foreign and art house movies in addition to the typical second run cheap theater fare. Inevitably the art house and subtitled foreign movies are interrupted multiple times by confused old people who either can't tell what's happening or who start reading the subtitles out loud. More often than not, my doesn't-look-like-a-movie-snob, 20-something, sport bike-riding friend gets warned repeatedly by the ticket takers that he's buying a ticket to a subtitled movie while meanwhile all the old people have no idea it's not in English end up spending the whole movie loudly explaining it to each other.

/part of the reason we still go to that theater though, is that if the movie sucks, at least the confused old people are entertainment
//well, that and because the full-price art house theater has just as many people talking at the much smaller screens
 
2012-06-27 05:57:41 AM
CSB

My dad is in the forces (nothing fancy just regular) he was away on a tour and was coming back that day. I was so frikkin excited to see my dad after several weeks and couldn't keep calm. My mom sent me to the movies to take my mind off it. She told me she'd call/ text as soon as he was on his way so I could get home to be there. I only lived like a 20 minute walk from the theater.

So I'm sitting in the theater but I'm too excited to see my dad to pay much attention to the movie. I put my phone on silent as I didn't want to bother anyone. I keep checking my phone to see if I've received a message. Just quickly flipping it open and closed again. Everytime I did that something would smack me in the head. Almost like a slingshot was being used. I'd look round, but couldn't see anything. After about the sixth time I had to stop checking my phone as my head was smarting. I missed a text from my mom saying my dad was on his way. He got home and I wasn't there to meet him.

Never did find out who was whacking me in the head. Some guys in movie theaters are real assholes.

/csb
 
2012-06-27 06:33:29 AM
I don't care who you are, if you can't hold it for 2 to 3 hours, you shouldn't be going to a damn movie. And you shouldn't be drinking a bathtub of soda in the first 20 minutes of the film either.
 
2012-06-27 10:42:14 AM

urban.derelict: KellyX: he should of went gone to

/could of have
//should of have
/would of have
//use c/s/woulda, save time


Also pretty much quoting said person at the time *shrugs* I'm telling you a story, not writing a term paper, so sorry.
 
2012-06-27 11:50:41 AM

Bhasayate:
[us.acidcow.com image 640x463]


thatshowkidsdie.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-27 04:54:30 PM
Going to the Alamo Drafthouse tonight for a Blazin' Saddles Quote-Along. There are three of them here in San Antonio.

I've become very spoiled on the idea that when I go to the theater, I should get a picther of good microbrew and a big juicy burger, nachos, pizza, wraps, etc.

Best movie experience I've ever had... San Antonio is spoiling me in a number of ways.
 
2012-06-29 12:51:10 PM

Swiss Colony: CSB

My dad is in the forces (nothing fancy just regular) he was away on a tour and was coming back that day. I was so frikkin excited to see my dad after several weeks and couldn't keep calm. My mom sent me to the movies to take my mind off it. She told me she'd call/ text as soon as he was on his way so I could get home to be there. I only lived like a 20 minute walk from the theater.

So I'm sitting in the theater but I'm too excited to see my dad to pay much attention to the movie. I put my phone on silent as I didn't want to bother anyone. I keep checking my phone to see if I've received a message. Just quickly flipping it open and closed again. Everytime I did that something would smack me in the head. Almost like a slingshot was being used. I'd look round, but couldn't see anything. After about the sixth time I had to stop checking my phone as my head was smarting. I missed a text from my mom saying my dad was on his way. He got home and I wasn't there to meet him.

Never did find out who was whacking me in the head. Some guys in movie theaters are real assholes.

/csb


You're a dumbass. Yes, I read the post you were riffing on. You are still a dumbass. Your post was neither informative, nor funny.
 
2012-06-29 10:46:44 PM

EMCGuy: Swiss Colony: CSB

My dad is in the forces (nothing fancy just regular) he was away on a tour and was coming back that day. I was so frikkin excited to see my dad after several weeks and couldn't keep calm. My mom sent me to the movies to take my mind off it. She told me she'd call/ text as soon as he was on his way so I could get home to be there. I only lived like a 20 minute walk from the theater.

So I'm sitting in the theater but I'm too excited to see my dad to pay much attention to the movie. I put my phone on silent as I didn't want to bother anyone. I keep checking my phone to see if I've received a message. Just quickly flipping it open and closed again. Everytime I did that something would smack me in the head. Almost like a slingshot was being used. I'd look round, but couldn't see anything. After about the sixth time I had to stop checking my phone as my head was smarting. I missed a text from my mom saying my dad was on his way. He got home and I wasn't there to meet him.

Never did find out who was whacking me in the head. Some guys in movie theaters are real assholes.

/csb

You're a dumbass. Yes, I read the post you were riffing on. You are still a dumbass. Your post was neither informative, nor funny.



I thought it was amusing. Not bust-a-gut hilarious like George Carlin or the 3 Stooges but I got a chuckle or 2 out of it
 
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