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(The Oatmeal)   How movie theaters SHOULD be laid out. Mountain Dew/popcorn sludge seems strangely appetizing   (theoatmeal.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, movie theaters, popcorn  
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9818 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Jun 2012 at 11:34 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



119 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-26 11:21:32 AM  
I do not like the toilet of shame.
 
2012-06-26 11:28:47 AM  
I'll be damned, the headphone jack idea is pretty ingenius.

/Can't wait to upload this to FunnyJunk!
 
2012-06-26 11:41:10 AM  

Sybarite: I do not like the toilet of shame.


SQUIRREL!

that, and sometimes i MUST get up to use the restroom. i typically go to the movies during early afternoon matinees, and go to eat lunch somewhere just before. so the beverages i consumed at lunch + the 1/2 gallon soda or icee they sell me (yes, i get the SMALL) at the movie theater = gotta go right now
 
2012-06-26 11:42:16 AM  
My only real complaint: The glass dome is a bit too high. The lower chunk of the good seats would be obstructed by it. I know it'd be see-through, but it would still blur the screen. Aside from that, genius. I've nearly knocked pubescent little shiats upside the head during movies. Talking, yelling, popcorn fights, texting...
 
2012-06-26 11:42:40 AM  

bungle_jr: Sybarite: I do not like the toilet of shame.

SQUIRREL!

that, and sometimes i MUST get up to use the restroom. i typically go to the movies during early afternoon matinees, and go to eat lunch somewhere just before. so the beverages i consumed at lunch + the 1/2 gallon soda or icee they sell me (yes, i get the SMALL) at the movie theater = gotta go right now


It doesn't help me that the booze I smuggle in goes right through me either.

Still, I would brave the toilet of shame if such a dome existed. I have friends I try to not go to movies with because they think they are funnier than the movie they paid to see.
 
2012-06-26 11:44:11 AM  

Nameless_Guy: My only real complaint: The glass dome is a bit too high. The lower chunk of the good seats would be obstructed by it. I know it'd be see-through, but it would still blur the screen. Aside from that, genius. I've nearly knocked pubescent little shiats upside the head during movies. Talking, yelling, popcorn fights, texting...


don't know if they still do but years ago many on-base movie theaters had a room walled off for viewing the movie with small kids. why this idea never caught on in the mainstream is beyond me!
 
2012-06-26 11:45:59 AM  
img406.imageshack.us

/obscure?
 
2012-06-26 11:47:27 AM  

Nameless_Guy: My only real complaint: The glass dome is a bit too high. The lower chunk of the good seats would be obstructed by it. I know it'd be see-through, but it would still blur the screen. Aside from that, genius. I've nearly knocked pubescent little shiats upside the head during movies. Talking, yelling, popcorn fights, texting...



I gave him a pass on that because I think he just made it so high to accommodate the text boxes.
 
2012-06-26 11:47:32 AM  
Not so sure about the old people. They seem to talk amongst themselves a lot and say things like "what?!!?" continuously.
 
2012-06-26 11:48:14 AM  
On what planet are elderly movie watchers quiet? Every time I get seated near a blue hair, they spend half the movie saying, "What'd she say?" "Who's that?" "Why are they there?"
 
2012-06-26 11:48:51 AM  
This is why, for me, it is well worth it to wait until the movie is out on disc and/or streaming. I have a nice TV and sound system, very comfortable sofa and chair, all the booze I want and none of you annoying shiats.
 
2012-06-26 11:50:18 AM  

under a mountain: Not so sure about the old people. They seem to talk amongst themselves a lot and say things like "what?!!?" continuously.


And ask questions about the movie, that if they watched for two more minutes, would be answered.

"Do you think he's going to try and kill her?"
 
2012-06-26 11:52:12 AM  
Cinemuck. The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters
Rich Hall's Sniglet's
 
2012-06-26 11:52:13 AM  
+1 to the noise cancelling headphones.

I have a disorder, the din of popcorn munching from the unwashed masses drives me into a fit of rage. It makes my blood boil into a froth that eventually takes me down a path that makes me hate a society that cannot go more than 90 minutes without having to stuff something into their egregious pie holes.

My movie theater is laid out like my living room. Cheaper and a better experience.

/hate theaters
 
2012-06-26 11:55:44 AM  
- Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

- Age-restricted showings

- Armed, plainclothes marshal in every theater

- Show older and classic films


It's too bad that theaters primarily get their profits from concessions, since $5 waters, stale popcorn, and boxes of pure sugar don't really do it for me. Smuggle in your own water, some trail mix (healthier, tastier, cheaper, and the lack of sugar rush guarantees I won't nod off halfway through) and beers.
 
2012-06-26 11:55:49 AM  
Ive only recently been going back to theaters after a 7 year hiatus. I like going to the last show of the night not as many people. One of the reasons I stopped going was because people would bring a translator with them and that drove me nuts.
 
2012-06-26 11:59:17 AM  

Donaco: Nameless_Guy: My only real complaint: The glass dome is a bit too high. The lower chunk of the good seats would be obstructed by it. I know it'd be see-through, but it would still blur the screen. Aside from that, genius. I've nearly knocked pubescent little shiats upside the head during movies. Talking, yelling, popcorn fights, texting...


I gave him a pass on that because I think he just made it so high to accommodate the text boxes.


That is a good point, hadn't thought of it. And it is a rough sketch/cartoon. Didn't mean to critique it haha.
 
2012-06-26 11:59:37 AM  
The headphone jacks are a bit of genius, not that I'll ever go see a movie unless its at gunpoint.

/dislikes theatres
 
2012-06-26 12:01:52 PM  

jbtilley: +1 to the noise cancelling headphones.

I have a disorder, the din of popcorn munching from the unwashed masses drives me into a fit of rage. It makes my blood boil into a froth that eventually takes me down a path that makes me hate a society that cannot go more than 90 minutes without having to stuff something into their egregious pie holes.

My movie theater is laid out like my living room. Cheaper and a better experience.

/hate theaters


You must have caught that disorder from me. Strangely, nobody else I knowhas caught it - or can even relate.

Also, the stench of popcorn breath. Uugh
 
2012-06-26 12:05:01 PM  
The only quiet elderly people in a theater are the dead ones.

Like the headphone jack idea, though.

I wish owning a theater was a good idea in 2012, I'd really love to give it a shot.
 
2012-06-26 12:10:49 PM  
I like to go to the very first showing of PG13 and R rated movies and the very last showing of G and PG rated movies. On a weekday, if possible. I almost always sit in an empty theater. I saw Brave last night in a theater with five other people. This fixes most of the dumbass problem all by itself.
 
2012-06-26 12:19:35 PM  
I don't like the toilet of shame....
I always sit on the end, anyway, so my bathroom trips don't disturb others.
 
2012-06-26 12:21:52 PM  
I hate saying this... Certain segments of women help reinforce the negative stereotypes.

TSB Time:

When I went to see the Avengers, one of them had a 2 year old with them... naturally it was crying a lot. Someone asked her politely to calm the child down or take it outside. Her reaction... Curse the guy out, tell him to go fark himself and he should of went to the "6 O'clock" showing instead.

The guy didn't respond, but 15 minutes later someone else on the other side of the theater complained to take the baby outside. She cursed him out and that started a shouting match with 3 other people getting into it attacking her as well.

5 groups of people left immediately afterwards. Then a manage came in to talk to her, left (with a look of disgust on her face) and I guess told her a cop was coming next since she refused to leave.

Undercover suited cop (I assume it was, maybe a manager), comes in, but the woman took off immediately after and they couldn't find her in the theater.
 
2012-06-26 12:22:11 PM  
I don't get the desire for a headphone jack... part of putting up with the hassles of going to a theater is (one would hope) great sound. Seems to me like headphones would be as counterproductive as wanting your own personal 3" screen. Why would I _want_ an "in-flight movie experience"?

To each their own, I guess.

Of course, count me among the misanthropes and antisocial: I can't remember the last time I've actually been in a theater... decent home theater + kegerator FTW.
 
2012-06-26 12:25:41 PM  
That whole "having to feel shame because I had to pee during a three-hour movie" thing is the reason why I wait for stuff to come out on Netflix now. Ya'll can watch your films with the unwashed masses, I'll watch mine in the privacy of my own home with liberal toilet breaks.
 
2012-06-26 12:29:38 PM  
Cheaper and wiser to invest in your own projection setup at home. There's just no good reason to suffer through the Theater ExperienceTM anymore. Costs are unbelievably high, people are shiatbags, 3D is being forced on you at every turn, and the deluge of brown speckles used as a rudimentary DRM make it too much of a nuisance (yes, they really bother me).

Huge TVs are cheap (if you don't want to get a nice projector), and Blu-Ray really is good enough. The only hang-up can be the sound system, but even good 7.1 surround setups are inexpensive.

There's just nothing left for Theaters to offer, beyond inconvenience, jacked-up prices, and being shoved into a room with a bunch of assholes. It's like a shiattier version of meatspace Fark, but more expensive and with less lolcats.

/and 4x the price
 
2012-06-26 12:30:21 PM  
I miss movies in Japan, despite having to pay $18 a ticket. Reasons: assigned seating, super quiet and conscientious people (I once got glared at for laughing... during a comedy!), and you can usually bring your own food if you purchased it in the same shopping complex as the theater. If you didn't bring food, the concession drinks, popcorn, nachos, etc. aren't that outrageous compared to snacks at a convenience store.
 
2012-06-26 12:31:16 PM  
Hm, how long have we had an Oatmeal tag? I approve.

/Toilet of shame needs a sound-barrier, unless Adam Sandler movies are playing.
 
2012-06-26 12:31:52 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: That whole "having to feel shame because I had to pee during a three-hour movie" thing is the reason why I wait for stuff to come out on Netflix now. Ya'll can watch your films with the unwashed masses, I'll watch mine in the privacy of my own home with liberal toilet breaks.


no one should ever be shamed for using the bathroom in ANY situation! if you have to go it's unhealthy not to go.

i do hate when i have to go and it's a really good movie that i don't want to get up from. and my daughter missed the end of a movie a couple years ago because she couldn't wait any longer
 
2012-06-26 12:32:32 PM  
If a movie breaks the 2 hour mark I usually avoid it until it comes out on VHS.
 
2012-06-26 12:35:18 PM  

scottydoesntknow: I'll be damned, the headphone jack idea is pretty ingenius.

/Can't wait to upload this to FunnyJunk!


I lol'd.

/carry on
//carrion
 
2012-06-26 12:35:32 PM  

hstein3: Hm, how long have we had an Oatmeal tag? I approve.

/Toilet of shame needs a sound-barrier, unless Adam Sandler movies are playing.


aside from that horrible movie where he portrayed his own sister (god that movie was bad) i've never understood the sandler hate. prior to that movie the worst sandler movie in my opinion was "little nicky"...and it wasn't bad, his face/voice just really irritate me in that one

of course "that's my boy" doesn't look much better than the sister one though
 
2012-06-26 12:36:10 PM  

marius2: If a movie breaks the 2 hour mark I usually avoid it until it comes out on VHS.



You're going to be waiting a while then.
 
2012-06-26 12:36:31 PM  

kyuzokai: I miss movies in Japan, despite having to pay $18 a ticket. Reasons: assigned seating, super quiet and conscientious people (I once got glared at for laughing... during a comedy!), and you can usually bring your own food if you purchased it in the same shopping complex as the theater. If you didn't bring food, the concession drinks, popcorn, nachos, etc. aren't that outrageous compared to snacks at a convenience store.


hmmmm...being allowed to bring a bento box into the movie would be quite nice
 
2012-06-26 12:40:33 PM  

marius2: If a movie breaks the 2 hour mark I usually avoid it until it comes out on VHS.


What's VHS?

I find the solution to not having to go to the bathroom during a movie is the following:

1. Use bathroom prior to movie
2. Don't drink 2 liter farking drink during movie (hell, I smuggle in a can of cola sometimes, $5 for a small, fark that)
3. Learn to hold your bladder, it's possible
 
2012-06-26 12:44:47 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: That whole "having to feel shame because I had to pee during a three-hour movie" thing is the reason why I wait for stuff to come out on Netflix now. Ya'll can watch your films with the unwashed masses, I'll watch mine in the privacy of my own home with liberal toilet breaks.


Liberal toilet breaks, BEER, watching in underwear, scrathing nether regions without care, bong hits, BEER, unlimited cheap snacks, ability to replay nude scenes, fap to replayed nude scenes.

Man, I could go on and on and on.
 
2012-06-26 12:45:20 PM  

KellyX: marius2: If a movie breaks the 2 hour mark I usually avoid it until it comes out on VHS.

What's VHS?

I find the solution to not having to go to the bathroom during a movie is the following:

1. Use bathroom prior to movie
2. Don't drink 2 liter farking drink during movie (hell, I smuggle in a can of cola sometimes, $5 for a small, fark that)
3. Learn to hold your bladder, it's possible


good ideas except:
1. i tend to have to pee at least once per hour to 1.5 hours. typical movie + previews is 2 + hours. (i drink a lot of water)
2. bottle with cap would be better...if for some reason you need to close it you can.
3. holding ones bladder would require cutting a hole in one's abdominal wall. ouch.
 
rpm
2012-06-26 12:47:22 PM  

Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

- Age-restricted showings

- Armed, plainclothes marshal in every theater

- Show older and classic films


It's too bad that theaters primarily get their profits from concessions, since $5 waters, stale popcorn, and boxes of pure sugar don't really do it for me. Smuggle in your own water, some trail mix (healthier, tastier, cheaper, and the lack of sugar rush guarantees I won't nod off halfway through) and beers.


Replace the marshal with ushers that actually do toss people out, and you're describing the theater I go to.

/saw Metropolis with live orchestra in a power plant
//saw Nosferatu with live quartet
///Mad Max with a destruction derby (ok, that one was loud)
//Upcoming Dark Knight marathon FTW!
 
2012-06-26 12:48:47 PM  

Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses


Other than one or two scope trailers attached to flat films (a long time ago), I've never seen a lens screw up for a movie... Is this a common problem in your area? Now, a projectionist that doesn't take the time to CLEAN the projector and leaves little hairs and lint from old film... That makes my blood boil.... or at least twitch.

/ex-projectionist
 
2012-06-26 12:50:35 PM  

Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

- Age-restricted showings

- Armed, plainclothes marshal in every theater

- Show older and classic films


It's too bad that theaters primarily get their profits from concessions, since $5 waters, stale popcorn, and boxes of pure sugar don't really do it for me. Smuggle in your own water, some trail mix (healthier, tastier, cheaper, and the lack of sugar rush guarantees I won't nod off halfway through) and beers.


Aside from the Marshals you just described Alamo Drafthouse, though the age restricted showings are only of older films in which they have a booze tie in.
 
2012-06-26 12:51:06 PM  

KellyX: marius2: If a movie breaks the 2 hour mark I usually avoid it until it comes out on VHS.

What's VHS?


It's a larger, bulkier, and inferior version of the Betamax.
 
2012-06-26 12:51:07 PM  
I would imagine that there is a market for a theater having special showings that are for serious audiences only. They would not allow children, cell phones, or any kind of disturbing behavior. There would be ushers to enforce the rules...and unicorns.
Never mind.
I buy the movies and watch them at home on a large HD TV with surround sound. Theaters are awful. If I absolutely have to see a movie in a theater I just expect the worst and hope to be pleasantly surprised.
 
2012-06-26 12:51:50 PM  

rpm: Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

- Age-restricted showings

- Armed, plainclothes marshal in every theater

- Show older and classic films


It's too bad that theaters primarily get their profits from concessions, since $5 waters, stale popcorn, and boxes of pure sugar don't really do it for me. Smuggle in your own water, some trail mix (healthier, tastier, cheaper, and the lack of sugar rush guarantees I won't nod off halfway through) and beers.

Replace the marshal with ushers that actually do toss people out, and you're describing the theater I go to.

/saw Metropolis with live orchestra in a power plant
//saw Nosferatu with live quartet
///Mad Max with a destruction derby (ok, that one was loud)
//Upcoming Dark Knight marathon FTW!


alamo drafthouse?

just a guess, i've never even been to austin aside from driving thru (VERY slowly) on our way home from corpus christi
 
2012-06-26 12:57:01 PM  

Kredal: Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

Other than one or two scope trailers attached to flat films (a long time ago), I've never seen a lens screw up for a movie... Is this a common problem in your area? Now, a projectionist that doesn't take the time to CLEAN the projector and leaves little hairs and lint from old film... That makes my blood boil.... or at least twitch.

/ex-projectionist



I think the recent problem is that the "projectionists" sometimes forget to (or are instructed not to*) remove the lens/polarizer between a 3D showing and a 2D one, thereby rendering everything dark as all get out, since the projector isn't doing the whole stereoscopic thing (Article; rebuttal)

/* to save turn-around time/costs, I guess
 
2012-06-26 12:57:37 PM  

Kredal: Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

Other than one or two scope trailers attached to flat films (a long time ago), I've never seen a lens screw up for a movie... Is this a common problem in your area? Now, a projectionist that doesn't take the time to CLEAN the projector and leaves little hairs and lint from old film... That makes my blood boil.... or at least twitch.

/ex-projectionist


More than a few times I've had to complain about movies that were out of focus, off-frame, or large visible dirt on the image. Also, I'm not too tech-savvy, do I don't know if the theater is to blame for this or not, but I've seen a bunch of movies where mics/lights/crew/etc are visible in the shot - is this due to films being shot in anamorphic, and theaters not using the corresponding lenses?
 
2012-06-26 12:57:46 PM  

bassmonkeee: On what planet are elderly movie watchers quiet? Every time I get seated near a blue hair, they spend half the movie saying, "What'd she say?" "Who's that?" "Why are they there?"


I saw Moonrise Kingdom on Sunday and for me it was. "please don't tell me you like this movie", "I can't believe this got so many good reviews" and the highest compliment I heard during the screening "this is....different".

/loved the movie myself
//would have loved it more if those people just got up and left instead of staying there biatching about it
 
2012-06-26 01:02:18 PM  
Our local AMC does the dinner thing. Never done it, so I have to ask: How in the hell can you eat a fork-and-knife meal in the middle of a movie theater? Is it not disruptive to have waiters running about?
 
2012-06-26 01:06:20 PM  

Loomy: I think the recent problem is that the "projectionists" sometimes forget to (or are instructed not to*) remove the lens/polarizer between a 3D showing and a 2D one, thereby rendering everything dark as all get out, since the projector isn't doing the whole stereoscopic thing (Article; rebuttal)

/* to save turn-around time/costs, I guess


Ahhh. Polarizers from 3D to 2D makes sense. Yeah, they should come off when the theater plays a 2D movie. Unfortunately, when they get put back on, they have to be calibrated, which takes time. So it's much faster/cheaper/keeps the screen employed to leave the polarizer on. I haven't seen that happen, but yeah, it would make me mad too.
 
2012-06-26 01:11:01 PM  

Snatch Bandergrip:
More than a few times I've had to complain about movies that were out of focus, off-frame, or large visible dirt on the image. Also, I'm not too tech-savvy, do I don't know if the theater is to blame for this or not, but I've seen a bunch of movies where mics/lights/crew/etc are visible in the shot - is this due to films being shot in anamorphic, and theaters not using the corresponding lenses?


Focus and framing issues is from a lazy projectionist. No excuse, if it lasts for more than a minute or two into the movie. I'll grant some leeway if several films had to start at the same time. If something was mis-spliced, it should be fixed at the end of the first day of showing that movie if not sooner.

As far as visible mics/lights/crew go, that's on the distributor for poor QC of the prints. Anything that's on the film has to be assumed to be ready for showing... Sometimes the entire frame won't fit on the screen, so a little tiny bit could be cut off the top or the bottom, but they shouldn't count on it being framed up perfectly.
 
2012-06-26 01:12:27 PM  
My god people it's not that bad, maybe don't go when you know the movie is going to be busy or packed. I will never go to a movie opening week it's always bad I can wait another week to watch it. If you go at odd times their are less people. I was pissed when I went to Promethous and had to get up 2 times to use the bathroom, darn drinking too much liquids.
 
2012-06-26 01:14:25 PM  
I must live in a very courteous town, because I never have these problems at any of the five theaters around here. Nobody gabs loudly, nobody brings babies, no texting, phone calls or popcorn fights. It's a rather pleasant experience except for the price.
 
2012-06-26 01:14:44 PM  
If you can't hold it in for an 1 1/2 - 2 hour movie you are a child.
 
2012-06-26 01:18:00 PM  

Mentalpatient87: I must live in a very courteous town, because I never have these problems at any of the five theaters around here. Nobody gabs loudly, nobody brings babies, no texting, phone calls or popcorn fights. It's a rather pleasant experience except for the price.


So how is the rest of life in Pleasantville?
 
jty
2012-06-26 01:20:48 PM  

bungle_jr: rpm: Snatch Bandergrip: - Projectionists that understand the importance of projector lenses

- Age-restricted showings

- Armed, plainclothes marshal in every theater

- Show older and classic films


It's too bad that theaters primarily get their profits from concessions, since $5 waters, stale popcorn, and boxes of pure sugar don't really do it for me. Smuggle in your own water, some trail mix (healthier, tastier, cheaper, and the lack of sugar rush guarantees I won't nod off halfway through) and beers.

Replace the marshal with ushers that actually do toss people out, and you're describing the theater I go to.

/saw Metropolis with live orchestra in a power plant
//saw Nosferatu with live quartet
///Mad Max with a destruction derby (ok, that one was loud)
//Upcoming Dark Knight marathon FTW!

alamo drafthouse?

just a guess, i've never even been to austin aside from driving thru (VERY slowly) on our way home from corpus christi


I've heard of the Drafthouse from folks on Fark before...sounds great. Here in Saint Louis we have the Moolah theater. Beautifully restored Shriner temple with one screen (one of the largest in the area). Although there is a balcony section and some regular seating, the main floor is covered with very comfy leather couches, love seats, and armchairs, all with end tables. Plus just outside the theater room there is a full bar with very reasonable prices. On the weekends they usually have late-night showings of classics / '80's movies for $5.00, and if you get there early there's a bowling alley downstairs. It's ruined every other theater for me.
 
2012-06-26 01:22:25 PM  
Watched Nesferatu on Halloween eve on the side of this building in the middle of the french quarter hosted by a vampire bar on pirates alley...

/good times
 
2012-06-26 01:33:17 PM  
A few weeks ago, my wife and went to the movies. This couple and their two kids were talking very loudly -- all of them. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and told him to be quite. His wife made a gesture with her finger, put her finger down her throat and acted as if she was making herself puke. He told me "I'm grown." I said "So be quite." He called me an asshole and told me to fark off. I told him more sternly to please be quite. He said "I"m grown!!" Then told me to fark off. I wanted to get up and smack him, but didn't. I hadn't been so angry in a long time. If my wife hadn't have been there, holding my hand and going all "calm down!" things would have escalated. Plus, he's got two little kids with him... sheesh... He kept talking for like 2 minutes or so... very tense. But his wife started telling him to be quite. Then he finally shut up.

I glared on the way out. He wouldn't make eye contact. I said, kind of sarcastically, "thanks for being so quite" or something. His wife laughed. Nervous? I dunno.

Yes, this was the cheapo theater.
 
2012-06-26 01:37:52 PM  

BizarreMan: So how is the rest of life in Pleasantville?


People can't farking drive...
 
2012-06-26 01:38:04 PM  

Bhasayate: A few weeks ago, my wife and went to the movies. This couple and their two kids were talking very loudly -- all of them. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and told him to be quite. His wife made a gesture with her finger, put her finger down her throat and acted as if she was making herself puke. He told me "I'm grown." I said "So be quite." He called me an asshole and told me to fark off. I told him more sternly to please be quite. He said "I"m grown!!" Then told me to fark off. I wanted to get up and smack him, but didn't. I hadn't been so angry in a long time. If my wife hadn't have been there, holding my hand and going all "calm down!" things would have escalated. Plus, he's got two little kids with him... sheesh... He kept talking for like 2 minutes or so... very tense. But his wife started telling him to be quite. Then he finally shut up.

I glared on the way out. He wouldn't make eye contact. I said, kind of sarcastically, "thanks for being so quite" or something. His wife laughed. Nervous? I dunno.

Yes, this was the cheapo theater.


Why did you want him to be quite?
 
2012-06-26 01:44:16 PM  

keepitcherry: If you can't hold it in for an 1 1/2 - 2 hour movie you are a child.


I'd have to say I agree, either a child or elderly, but apparently a lot of people that are neither suffer from incontinence. Either incontinence, or plain stupidity, because the simple solution to the problem is simply don't drink a fark ton of liquid before you go to the movie you knew you were going to, and then you won't have to get up in the middle. If you are an adult, you should know your body enough to know what you can and can't handle.Or maybe it just doesn't bother them to miss portions of the movie they paid to see. If I pay 8 to 12 dollars to go to a movie, I'm sure as hell experiencing the entire movie.

Having said that, I don't mind when people get up and go to the bathroom during a movie unless they are in my row, and even then they'd have to do it more than once to become bothersome. Making noise is a much, much larger annoyance than someone walking in front of me for a second.
 
rpm
2012-06-26 01:44:28 PM  

bungle_jr: alamo drafthouse?

just a guess, i've never even been to austin aside from driving thru (VERY slowly) on our way home from corpus christi


Yup. It's the only place we'll go. Last movie I saw in a different theater was RotK, never again.
 
2012-06-26 01:45:00 PM  

Bhasayate: A few weeks ago, my wife and went to the movies. This couple and their two kids were talking very loudly -- all of them. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and told him to be quite. His wife made a gesture with her finger, put her finger down her throat and acted as if she was making herself puke. He told me "I'm grown." I said "So be quite." He called me an asshole and told me to fark off. I told him more sternly to please be quite. He said "I"m grown!!" Then told me to fark off. I wanted to get up and smack him, but didn't. I hadn't been so angry in a long time. If my wife hadn't have been there, holding my hand and going all "calm down!" things would have escalated. Plus, he's got two little kids with him... sheesh... He kept talking for like 2 minutes or so... very tense. But his wife started telling him to be quite. Then he finally shut up.

I glared on the way out. He wouldn't make eye contact. I said, kind of sarcastically, "thanks for being so quite" or something. His wife laughed. Nervous? I dunno.

Yes, this was the cheapo theater.


Maybe he didn't know what you were talking about?
 
2012-06-26 01:47:07 PM  

Bhasayate: A few weeks ago, my wife and went to the movies. This couple and their two kids were talking very loudly -- all of them. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and told him to be quite. His wife made a gesture with her finger, put her finger down her throat and acted as if she was making herself puke. He told me "I'm grown." I said "So be quite." He called me an asshole and told me to fark off. I told him more sternly to please be quite. He said "I"m grown!!" Then told me to fark off. I wanted to get up and smack him, but didn't. I hadn't been so angry in a long time. If my wife hadn't have been there, holding my hand and going all "calm down!" things would have escalated. Plus, he's got two little kids with him... sheesh... He kept talking for like 2 minutes or so... very tense. But his wife started telling him to be quite. Then he finally shut up.

I glared on the way out. He wouldn't make eye contact. I said, kind of sarcastically, "thanks for being so quite" or something. His wife laughed. Nervous? I dunno.

Yes, this was the cheapo theater.


That's quiet an interesting story their.
 
2012-06-26 01:47:29 PM  

Passive Aggressive Larry: keepitcherry: If you can't hold it in for an 1 1/2 - 2 hour movie you are a child.

I'd have to say I agree, either a child or elderly, but apparently a lot of people that are neither suffer from incontinence. Either incontinence, or plain stupidity, because the simple solution to the problem is simply don't drink a fark ton of liquid before you go to the movie you knew you were going to, and then you won't have to get up in the middle. If you are an adult, you should know your body enough to know what you can and can't handle.Or maybe it just doesn't bother them to miss portions of the movie they paid to see. If I pay 8 to 12 dollars to go to a movie, I'm sure as hell experiencing the entire movie.

Having said that, I don't mind when people get up and go to the bathroom during a movie unless they are in my row, and even then they'd have to do it more than once to become bothersome. Making noise is a much, much larger annoyance than someone walking in front of me for a second.


Exactly. I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick about it - just use common sense. Go before the movie starts and don't buy a 64oz soda. I also don't really mind when people get up to go to the bathroom, I just don't get why you would have to.
 
2012-06-26 01:48:39 PM  

scottydoesntknow: /Can't wait to upload this to FunnyJunk!


Hi, I'm officially here to serve you with a lawsuit from Charles Carreon, Esquire, for defamation. You're due in court in an hour.
 
2012-06-26 01:50:25 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Bhasayate: A few weeks ago, my wife and went to the movies. This couple and their two kids were talking very loudly -- all of them. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and told him to be quite. His wife made a gesture with her finger, put her finger down her throat and acted as if she was making herself puke. He told me "I'm grown." I said "So be quite." He called me an asshole and told me to fark off. I told him more sternly to please be quite. He said "I"m grown!!" Then told me to fark off. I wanted to get up and smack him, but didn't. I hadn't been so angry in a long time. If my wife hadn't have been there, holding my hand and going all "calm down!" things would have escalated. Plus, he's got two little kids with him... sheesh... He kept talking for like 2 minutes or so... very tense. But his wife started telling him to be quite. Then he finally shut up.

I glared on the way out. He wouldn't make eye contact. I said, kind of sarcastically, "thanks for being so quite" or something. His wife laughed. Nervous? I dunno.

Yes, this was the cheapo theater.

Maybe he didn't know what you were talking about?


memedepot.com
 
2012-06-26 01:53:01 PM  

gunga galunga: Bhasayate: A few weeks ago, my wife and went to the movies. This couple and their two kids were talking very loudly -- all of them. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and told him to be quite. His wife made a gesture with her finger, put her finger down her throat and acted as if she was making herself puke. He told me "I'm grown." I said "So be quite." He called me an asshole and told me to fark off. I told him more sternly to please be quite. He said "I"m grown!!" Then told me to fark off. I wanted to get up and smack him, but didn't. I hadn't been so angry in a long time. If my wife hadn't have been there, holding my hand and going all "calm down!" things would have escalated. Plus, he's got two little kids with him... sheesh... He kept talking for like 2 minutes or so... very tense. But his wife started telling him to be quite. Then he finally shut up.

I glared on the way out. He wouldn't make eye contact. I said, kind of sarcastically, "thanks for being so quite" or something. His wife laughed. Nervous? I dunno.

Yes, this was the cheapo theater.

That's quiet an interesting story their.


us.acidcow.com
 
2012-06-26 01:56:07 PM  

keepitcherry:
Exactly. I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick about it - just use common sense. Go before the movie starts and don't buy a 64oz soda. I also don't really mind when people get up to go to the bathroom, I just don't get why you would have to.


The nerve of people living their lives the way they want to! How dare they drink when they want to.
 
2012-06-26 02:06:30 PM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Cinemuck. The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters
Rich Hall's Sniglet's


Rich Hall: [riding in the back of an open-top car] This is a 1967 Oldsmobile Cutlass. 380 long block. It's called a muscle car. Now, Jeremy Clarkson, your ill-informed and overhyped God of all things automotive and British, will tell you that muscle cars are gutless, that they can't handle the curves, that they have no finesse and no style. He'll tell you that a GTO or a Cutlass can't compare to a Ferrari or a Lamborghini. What he doesn't bother to tell you is that muscle cars were made for young, working American men who put in a bit of overtime so they could have one decent thing in their life. A Ferrari is for a guy with too much money, a mid-life crisis and a combover. Comparing a muscle car to a Ferrari is like comparing Jeremy Clarkson to a real television host. If this car was a woman, it'd be Elizabeth Taylor. If Jeremy Clarkson were a woman, I wouldn't be a Goddamn bit surprised.

/ I miss Rich Hall. Bring him back HBO!
 
2012-06-26 02:13:55 PM  
Went to see The Natural **SPOILERS** and the two guys in front of me left to take a leak, smoke dope whatever, right before the chick shot Robert Redford, and came back right after he showed up with the NY Knights.

I could tell they had no idea what the hell they missed.
 
2012-06-26 02:16:10 PM  
We go to Austin every year for Fantastic Fest, and the Alamo Drafthouse really is the best theater to watch movies in. Great food, buckets of shiner, and a no mercy policy of not spoiling the experience for anyone else. I wish we had one here in Tampa.
 
2012-06-26 02:26:05 PM  
I'm not *that* old; growing up my family always had a television set. The kind with rabbit ear antenna sticking out the back. I remember when I didn't need a TV guide because we only had five channels....and if you wanted to change them you had to physically turn the knob.

The picture was color, of course, but the quality was terrible....but not quite as terrible as the sound quality. A movie theatre was amazing compared to that! I mean, like *amazing*.

It's been true for years; but it's getting more true each day. You reach a point of diminishing returns with technological improvements. Maybe if 3D is your thing - this doesn't apply to you. But for a relatively small investment I can have an amazing big screen, HD TV with surround sound speakers. And I can sit 4 feet from the screen. I've been to movie theatres that have had worse picture quality and probably sound (I'm not an audiophile - but aside from being REALLY LOUD - I think a low-end surround sound system beats most theatres I've been in).

Then factor in the annoying people (let's face it - people are annoying. All of us. I might go to 10 movies before I need to take a piss in the middle of one - but get 100 people just like me in a theatre - and someone is always getting up, coughing, sneezing, moving around, eating loudly, talking to their girlfriend, making out, texting, checking the time, or whatever else.
 
2012-06-26 02:27:45 PM  
I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.
 
2012-06-26 02:30:24 PM  
Or just go to Cinepolis. Reserved seating, alcohol, 21 and up only showings, recliners in pairs so the only person next to you is the person you came with and real food.
 
2012-06-26 02:31:02 PM  

TNel: keepitcherry:
Exactly. I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick about it - just use common sense. Go before the movie starts and don't buy a 64oz soda. I also don't really mind when people get up to go to the bathroom, I just don't get why you would have to.

The nerve of people living their lives the way they want to! How dare they drink when they want to.


And what if you were about to leave for a long road trip with a few other people, would you purposely eat that big burrito that you know always gives you bad gas and the shiats? Do you have have to eat that burrito at that exact moment, knowing you had to be in a car with other people the next several hours? "But I really wanted it and I'm going to live my life the way I want to." Ok, that line of thinking is fine, but don't be surprised when other people think you are kinda stupid. And don't be surprised if them having to accommodate you, because you don't have any self control, can sometimes get on their nerves a little bit.

Whatever, as long as you aren't announcing to the entire theater that you have to pee every time you get up to use the restroom, I don't really care. It just doesn't make sense to me why you'd drink a lot before going to a movie.
 
2012-06-26 02:31:04 PM  
When I was a kid I went to a theater in Monroe, LA to see The Empire Strikes Back. At the rear of the theater was a glassed in room with about 4 rows of seats and its own speaker system. It was the smoking section and it farking ruled.
 
2012-06-26 02:32:09 PM  
Older people are always quiet and respectful during a movie.

Bullsh*t
 
2012-06-26 02:33:18 PM  

Karma Chameleon: This is why, for me, it is well worth it to wait until the movie is out on disc and/or streaming.


If you're watching a drama or comedy you're not paying money for special effects anyway. You sure as hell aren't allowed to enjoy a theatre atmosphere anymore.

I generally only watch "loud" (read: action) movies on big screen anymore. Yet when we saw Prometheus noises from the playroom (which unfortunately happened to be right under us) still bled into our ears. It's amazing how cheap theatres have gotten, yet they still expect you to pay an arm and a leg.

CSB: At a theatre in Columbus, OH I wore sound-canceling earphones anyway. No, they weren't hooked up to anything. They had the sound system turned up so loud that it was consistently above my threshold of pain. The movie could show a conversation spoken in whispers and I could understand every word through the earphones. Again, every dollar spent on tickets was just to make the most of what were highly anticipated effects.
 
2012-06-26 02:35:53 PM  

Passive Aggressive Larry: TNel: keepitcherry:
Exactly. I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick about it - just use common sense. Go before the movie starts and don't buy a 64oz soda. I also don't really mind when people get up to go to the bathroom, I just don't get why you would have to.

The nerve of people living their lives the way they want to! How dare they drink when they want to.

And what if you were about to leave for a long road trip with a few other people, would you purposely eat that big burrito that you know always gives you bad gas and the shiats? Do you have have to eat that burrito at that exact moment, knowing you had to be in a car with other people the next several hours? "But I really wanted it and I'm going to live my life the way I want to." Ok, that line of thinking is fine, but don't be surprised when other people think you are kinda stupid. And don't be surprised if them having to accommodate you, because you don't have any self control, can sometimes get on their nerves a little bit.

Whatever, as long as you aren't announcing to the entire theater that you have to pee every time you get up to use the restroom, I don't really care. It just doesn't make sense to me why you'd drink a lot before going to a movie.


having to pee in a place where you can easily get up and walk to a bathroom is quite different from being confined to a small space that you are filling up with your bean farts.
 
2012-06-26 02:38:02 PM  
When I was a kid they had these things called Drive-ins. Some of you punks were probably conceived in one.
 
2012-06-26 03:01:37 PM  

dragonchild: CSB: At a theatre in Columbus, OH I wore sound-canceling earphones anyway. No, they weren't hooked up to anything. They had the sound system turned up so loud that it was consistently above my threshold of pain. The movie could show a conversation spoken in whispers and I could understand every word through the earphones. Again, every dollar spent on tickets was just to make the most of what were highly anticipated effects.


They have to turn the sound up that loud so you can hear over all the assholes talking and being obnoxious with their food.
 
2012-06-26 03:11:28 PM  

Psycoholic_Slag: When I was a kid they had these things called Drive-ins. Some of you punks were probably conceived in one.


No, I wasn't conceived at a Drive-In, but I lost my parents when they went to see "Closed for the Winter"
 
2012-06-26 03:31:31 PM  
What farking movie theater do ya'll go to?

In all the years I have gone to movies, only once have I had a bad experience. It was Matrix Revolution and it wasn't because of the people around me.
 
2012-06-26 03:35:29 PM  
I keep going back and forth on going to the movies. It seems random, but every other movie we've been to has featured jackasses in the audience. Not the "this guy right beside me is an idiot" type, but the sort that gets the whole audience agitated. We went to see Larry Crown and were the youngest "kids" in the audience (we're both 35). Yeah, the movie sucked, but it will always be pleasant to me because the folks watching it were so respectful.

It sure does beat the folks who throw their drinks through the air or constantly text the whole time.
 
2012-06-26 03:35:40 PM  

Hobo Jr.: What farking movie theater do ya'll go to?

In all the years I have gone to movies, only once have I had a bad experience. It was Matrix Revolution and it wasn't because of the people around me.


only times i've really not thoroughly enjoyed the movie-going experience, aside from disappointment in the movie itself, was from going during crowded times, especially between 7 and 11 on friday or saturday nights when the majority of teen/young-adult crowds go
 
2012-06-26 03:49:18 PM  

keepitcherry: If you can't hold it in for an 1 1/2 - 2 hour movie you are a child.


Then I guess I'm a child, but at least I'm not risking bladder issues later on down the line.

My health > your movie
 
2012-06-26 03:50:57 PM  

keepitcherry: Exactly. I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick about it - just use common sense. Go before the movie starts and don't buy a 64oz soda. I also don't really mind when people get up to go to the bathroom, I just don't get why you would have to.


I do go before the movie, I usually don't get a beverage, and I still end up having to get up to use the restroom. Why can't you just deal with the fact that not everybody's body is wired exactly like yours?
 
2012-06-26 03:54:17 PM  

Hobo Jr.: What farking movie theater do ya'll go to?

In all the years I have gone to movies, only once have I had a bad experience. It was Matrix Revolution and it wasn't because of the people around me.


More importantly, WHEN do you go to the theater? If I go on opening weekend, there's usually some assholes texting or chatting. If I go on a weekday, it's usually so empty there's not a problem.

Psycoholic_Slag: When I was a kid they had these things called Drive-ins.


I just went to a drive-in this weekend (Unadilla, NY). I love the place because it is super cheap and has great, cheap snacks, but nowadays too many people drive SUVs and it can be impossible to see the screen if you're parked behind one.
 
2012-06-26 03:57:22 PM  
"It's a good thing they make you turn off your bazookas before movies man, or every one of my theater-going experiences would end in smoldering crater fashion." - Strong Bad Email #167: The Movies
 
2012-06-26 04:03:21 PM  
I'm down with age-restrictions in theaters.

I went to see a 10:00 showing of Prometheus last weekend, and the theater wasn't really full, so I expected no trouble from the other people around me. Then, a couple walk in with their four or five-year-old daughter, and sit right farking next to me. C'mon, bringing a kid to a SF/horror movie? Luckily, she fell asleep and stayed asleep during the violent bits.

Back when American Gangster was in theaters, a couple came in with an infant, and gave the kid a damn rattle to play with during the film. Seriously, no consideration for everyone else in the theater.
 
2012-06-26 04:11:14 PM  

State_College_Arsonist: I'm down with age-restrictions in theaters.

I went to see a 10:00 showing of Prometheus last weekend, and the theater wasn't really full, so I expected no trouble from the other people around me. Then, a couple walk in with their four or five-year-old daughter, and sit right farking next to me. C'mon, bringing a kid to a SF/horror movie? Luckily, she fell asleep and stayed asleep during the violent bits.

Back when American Gangster was in theaters, a couple came in with an infant, and gave the kid a damn rattle to play with during the film. Seriously, no consideration for everyone else in the theater.


my wife and i were guilty once of taking our infant son to the movies to see "book of eli". we had free tix, and chose a time that wasn't overly crowded, and we were prepared to leave if he became a disturbance.

much to our pleasure he cried ONCE for only a couple of seconds at the first loud noise, and he slept thru the rest of the movie.
 
2012-06-26 04:35:58 PM  

Masterstuff: I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.


And don't forget - no kids, as well. I absolutely love going to the Drafthouse for a movie. Not to mention their awesome selection of craft beers you can enjoy during the show.

Eat, drink, be merry -- but if you disturb anyone, you're outta here!
 
2012-06-26 04:38:54 PM  
Simple solution to 95% of all movie theater audience problems:

1) Each multiplex should reserve some theaters for people who are willing to pay $1 more per ticket

2) Those theaters have bouncers. Not ushers. BOUNCERS.

And while you're at it, you could also...

- For $1 more get a non-shiatty snack, like apples or bananas or cookies or tea

- On your way back out of the theater, you get a $1-off-your-next-movie coupon for every item you put in the trash yourself (like your banana peel)
 
2012-06-26 04:41:35 PM  
I would kill for a drafthouse to open in Toronto
 
2012-06-26 04:54:01 PM  
I was drinking with my girlfriend at the movies a few weeks ago and I accidentally kicked the beer I snuck in over. It hit the guy's shoes in front of me and he didn't even notice, he must have reeked after. I'm guessing I would end up in the dome pretty quick under that system.

/girl was soooo pissed about that
 
2012-06-26 05:01:08 PM  

SnakeLee: I was drinking with my girlfriend at the movies a few weeks ago and I accidentally kicked the beer I snuck in over. It hit the guy's shoes in front of me and he didn't even notice, he must have reeked after. I'm guessing I would end up in the dome pretty quick under that system.

/girl was soooo pissed about that


I did that the dollar theater when I was a youngster. Only it was a bottle, a 40oz bottle. It rolled down several rows. Good thing there was nobody else in the theater besides my degenerate friend and I, oh and the box office guy/ticket taker/candy counter vendor/projectionist/usher (yeah it was a one man show) was too lazy to care.
 
2012-06-26 05:03:10 PM  
If you have an iPic near you, I strongly recommend going there. It's 21+ so no children or obnoxious teenagers. They serve you good food and drinks during the movie if you sit in the premium seating, but the regular seating still allows you to bring in food/drinks from the bar/restaurant and they have little tables for each seat. The premium seating are recliners and they will provide you blankets and pillows if you want. There is even a compartment for your stuff during the movie. I only do the premium seating when I'm eating dinner there, but the regular seating is just as comfortable. The seats start almost half way back in the theater so there is no bad seats really. The regular seating rows are so far apart that even if people do get up and go to the bathroom, you don't need to get up or move to let them pass.

It is expensive, but it's worth it to me because I have a pleasant movie-going experience. With no one under 21 allowed in and the higher cost keeping out the riff raff who are just there to hang out instead of watch a movie, it's quiet during the movie. Of course if someone does talk the seats are so far apart that you typically won't really hear the person.

The staff is also really nice and professional - probably because the place isn't run by teenagers like most theaters.

I only had one really bad experience and that was when the theater was empty except for one couple who came in late, ended up getting their assigned seats right next to ours, and then proceeded to talk the whole time and for some reason kept shining his cell phone flashlight right into our faces. I think he started to do it because we looked at him when he was texting because all of a sudden it got really bright and directed at us. They were rude enough to prove certain stereotypes right and that's all I will say about that.
 
2012-06-26 05:06:27 PM  

Snatch Bandergrip: Our local AMC does the dinner thing. Never done it, so I have to ask: How in the hell can you eat a fork-and-knife meal in the middle of a movie theater? Is it not disruptive to have waiters running about?


Been to several, never had a problem with noise from other people eating or waiters getting in the way. A lot of discount theaters are doing this cheaper movies and good food =good date with the wife.
 
2012-06-26 05:18:00 PM  

tbartman68: Masterstuff: I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.

And don't forget - no kids, as well. I absolutely love going to the Drafthouse for a movie. Not to mention their awesome selection of craft beers you can enjoy during the show.

Eat, drink, be merry -- but if you disturb anyone, you're outta here!


The location I went to allows kids for some reason. They're still under the Do Not Disturb rules but they still can be a tad annoying. Last movie I saw was The Avengers and a kid next to me was fidgety for the most part and it didn't help that mom got him cookies from the menu. Then again he got so quietlygiddy whenever Iron Man was on screen so that bit of :3 made it not so annoying.
 
2012-06-26 05:35:32 PM  

Snatch Bandergrip: - Age-restricted showings


Do you live near a theater that sells alcohol? I do... solves that issue!
 
2012-06-26 05:41:26 PM  

Masterstuff: tbartman68: Masterstuff: I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.

And don't forget - no kids, as well. I absolutely love going to the Drafthouse for a movie. Not to mention their awesome selection of craft beers you can enjoy during the show.

Eat, drink, be merry -- but if you disturb anyone, you're outta here!

The location I went to allows kids for some reason. They're still under the Do Not Disturb rules but they still can be a tad annoying. Last movie I saw was The Avengers and a kid next to me was fidgety for the most part and it didn't help that mom got him cookies from the menu. Then again he got so quietlygiddy whenever Iron Man was on screen so that bit of :3 made it not so annoying.


I'm surprised they let him in - maybe that's the downside to franchising - your location got an owner with a little bit smaller balls & needier wallet......
 
2012-06-26 06:09:21 PM  
I'm sure someone else mentioned this but I'm too busy too read all these frackin' comments.... but ejector seat treatment for anyone who's cell phone make a noise OR LIGHTS UP.
Also, if a movie is 2.25+ hours long put in a freakin' intermission you cheap bastard theater-owners. My knees hurt and my ass goes numb after 2 hours.
 
2012-06-26 07:05:22 PM  
Heh...

It's my birthday and I took the day off... I walked down to the local theater and caught a 'cheap' 1PM showing of Prometheus in 3D. The theater has a decent pizza joint attached to it so I was able to bring a couple slices in with me and a drink. Along with the two beers I was able to sneak into the theater in my stomach.

There were three other people in the theater, and they were all well behaved.

Prometheus was... interesting. At least the pizza was good.
 
2012-06-26 08:26:52 PM  
Where in the nine Hells are you going to the movies where they serve Mountain Dew?
 
2012-06-26 09:11:20 PM  
I do my best to put up with crap the two times a year my wife and I go to the theater. Kids don't always behave, dialogue isn't always easy to hear, your bladder doesn't always cooperate - I tend not to hold those things against people. Three things I absolutely farking hate, though, are people coming in 5+ minutes after the movie starts (not the trailers... the movie) and making you get up so they can squeeze in instead of finding an empty row, teenagers with their blindingly bright cell phone screens being flipped open every 30 seconds to send/receive yet another text (LIK OMG IM WUTCHING A MOOVIE WHER R U???), and people who chew their popcorn with an open mouth.

Half of the problem is people being discourteous and half of the problem rests with the theater. There should be a cutoff for when patrons are allowed in and ushers should be escorting rude farkers out. I hate to be that guy, and I've never caused a scene, but many times I've let theater managers know how I would come out to movies more often if things were a bit more civilized.

Oh, I almost forgot: people with a cold or flu who go to see a movie. *cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough sniffle cough* x two hours.
 
2012-06-26 10:07:20 PM  
CSS:

Two years ago I was in MI to visit family & friends, and one of my friends brought a small slingshot with him when we went to the movies. It was winter and we could sneak just about any food/candy we wanted into the theater so we didn't need to go to concession. I forgot what we went to watch, but I do remember that my friend used his slingshot with Whoppers and Junior Mints as ammo on people who used their cell phones, either talking or texting with their screen brightness on high.

/He had so many great head-shots, too
//It only took a couple hits for each the people using their phones to get the hint
///One dumbass teen, however, took 6 shots to the head before he stowed his cell
/Yes, it was a trial of endurance not to laugh when the people whipped around
//No, he never got caught
///Yes, it was more entertaining than whatever the fark we went to watch
//SLASHIES//
 
2012-06-26 10:42:59 PM  

Masterstuff: I'll never stop shilling for Alamo Drafthouse because they deserve all the business they can get. For those wondering about how it can work(eating/drinking) without being too disturbing:

-Stadium style elevated seating
-Spacious room for the servers to move around
-Loud surround sound system(cant hear others eat)
-Large viewing screen so if you see a head pop up it isn't really blocking anything

All of that combined with the fact if you use your cell or are disturbing others they'll kick your chatty ass out makes them my go-to theater.

Last non-AD theater: Regal Cinema for Wall-E. Two people were using cell phones. Workers repeatedly asked them not to use the cell-nobody was kicked and they kept going. Will not return even if I have a gift card.

/Magnited we stand.


Took the GF to the Alamo in Winchester,VA last year while we were on Vacation. Best theatre experience ever.
We need one closer to Pittsburgh.
 
2012-06-26 10:55:15 PM  

RadicalArcher: CSS:

Two years ago I was in MI to visit family & friends, and one of my friends brought a small slingshot with him when we went to the movies. It was winter and we could sneak just about any food/candy we wanted into the theater so we didn't need to go to concession. I forgot what we went to watch, but I do remember that my friend used his slingshot with Whoppers and Junior Mints as ammo on people who used their cell phones, either talking or texting with their screen brightness on high.

/He had so many great head-shots, too
//It only took a couple hits for each the people using their phones to get the hint
///One dumbass teen, however, took 6 shots to the head before he stowed his cell
/Yes, it was a trial of endurance not to laugh when the people whipped around
//No, he never got caught
///Yes, it was more entertaining than whatever the fark we went to watch
//SLASHIES//


He must be a hell of a good shot.
 
2012-06-27 12:09:36 AM  

idesofmarch: Hobo Jr.: What farking movie theater do ya'll go to?

In all the years I have gone to movies, only once have I had a bad experience. It was Matrix Revolution and it wasn't because of the people around me.

More importantly, WHEN do you go to the theater? If I go on opening weekend, there's usually some assholes texting or chatting. If I go on a weekday, it's usually so empty there's not a problem.

Psycoholic_Slag: When I was a kid they had these things called Drive-ins.

I just went to a drive-in this weekend (Unadilla, NY). I love the place because it is super cheap and has great, cheap snacks, but nowadays too many people drive SUVs and it can be impossible to see the screen if you're parked behind one.


Back in the childhood, the Drive-Ins we went to used to direct the bigger vehicles towards the back. It also put the van and truck-fuls nearer the concession stand.

Groovy Time For A Movie Time!
 
2012-06-27 12:43:51 AM  
I'm pretty sure I heard the guy sitting behind me at a showing of Tron Legacy at the Riverview Theater in Minneapolis getting a full release from his GF during the first part of the picture. I didn't mind that distraction half as much as I do attention-whoring junior high/high school kids whooping down in the front rows.
 
2012-06-27 12:51:43 AM  

Optimal_Illusion: Back in the childhood, the Drive-Ins we went to used to direct the bigger vehicles towards the back.


I think I might just recommend that to the management next time I go - they probably won't implement it since they don't have the manpower, but it's a good idea. Also, the next time I go I'm going to be adamant to my friends about what time we leave so we don't get there late and can actually get a good spot close to the front - that would solve the problem right there.
 
2012-06-27 02:01:22 AM  

KellyX: he should of went

gone to

/could of have
//should of have
/would of have
//use c/s/woulda, save time
 
2012-06-27 05:18:11 AM  

under a mountain: Not so sure about the old people. They seem to talk amongst themselves a lot and say things like "what?!!?" continuously.


Agreed. There's a dollar (well, $2.50 now) theater near me that shows tons of foreign and art house movies in addition to the typical second run cheap theater fare. Inevitably the art house and subtitled foreign movies are interrupted multiple times by confused old people who either can't tell what's happening or who start reading the subtitles out loud. More often than not, my doesn't-look-like-a-movie-snob, 20-something, sport bike-riding friend gets warned repeatedly by the ticket takers that he's buying a ticket to a subtitled movie while meanwhile all the old people have no idea it's not in English end up spending the whole movie loudly explaining it to each other.

/part of the reason we still go to that theater though, is that if the movie sucks, at least the confused old people are entertainment
//well, that and because the full-price art house theater has just as many people talking at the much smaller screens
 
2012-06-27 05:57:41 AM  
CSB

My dad is in the forces (nothing fancy just regular) he was away on a tour and was coming back that day. I was so frikkin excited to see my dad after several weeks and couldn't keep calm. My mom sent me to the movies to take my mind off it. She told me she'd call/ text as soon as he was on his way so I could get home to be there. I only lived like a 20 minute walk from the theater.

So I'm sitting in the theater but I'm too excited to see my dad to pay much attention to the movie. I put my phone on silent as I didn't want to bother anyone. I keep checking my phone to see if I've received a message. Just quickly flipping it open and closed again. Everytime I did that something would smack me in the head. Almost like a slingshot was being used. I'd look round, but couldn't see anything. After about the sixth time I had to stop checking my phone as my head was smarting. I missed a text from my mom saying my dad was on his way. He got home and I wasn't there to meet him.

Never did find out who was whacking me in the head. Some guys in movie theaters are real assholes.

/csb
 
2012-06-27 06:33:29 AM  
I don't care who you are, if you can't hold it for 2 to 3 hours, you shouldn't be going to a damn movie. And you shouldn't be drinking a bathtub of soda in the first 20 minutes of the film either.
 
2012-06-27 10:42:14 AM  

urban.derelict: KellyX: he should of went gone to

/could of have
//should of have
/would of have
//use c/s/woulda, save time


Also pretty much quoting said person at the time *shrugs* I'm telling you a story, not writing a term paper, so sorry.
 
2012-06-27 11:50:41 AM  

Bhasayate:
[us.acidcow.com image 640x463]


thatshowkidsdie.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-27 04:54:30 PM  
Going to the Alamo Drafthouse tonight for a Blazin' Saddles Quote-Along. There are three of them here in San Antonio.

I've become very spoiled on the idea that when I go to the theater, I should get a picther of good microbrew and a big juicy burger, nachos, pizza, wraps, etc.

Best movie experience I've ever had... San Antonio is spoiling me in a number of ways.
 
2012-06-29 12:51:10 PM  

Swiss Colony: CSB

My dad is in the forces (nothing fancy just regular) he was away on a tour and was coming back that day. I was so frikkin excited to see my dad after several weeks and couldn't keep calm. My mom sent me to the movies to take my mind off it. She told me she'd call/ text as soon as he was on his way so I could get home to be there. I only lived like a 20 minute walk from the theater.

So I'm sitting in the theater but I'm too excited to see my dad to pay much attention to the movie. I put my phone on silent as I didn't want to bother anyone. I keep checking my phone to see if I've received a message. Just quickly flipping it open and closed again. Everytime I did that something would smack me in the head. Almost like a slingshot was being used. I'd look round, but couldn't see anything. After about the sixth time I had to stop checking my phone as my head was smarting. I missed a text from my mom saying my dad was on his way. He got home and I wasn't there to meet him.

Never did find out who was whacking me in the head. Some guys in movie theaters are real assholes.

/csb


You're a dumbass. Yes, I read the post you were riffing on. You are still a dumbass. Your post was neither informative, nor funny.
 
2012-06-29 10:46:44 PM  

EMCGuy: Swiss Colony: CSB

My dad is in the forces (nothing fancy just regular) he was away on a tour and was coming back that day. I was so frikkin excited to see my dad after several weeks and couldn't keep calm. My mom sent me to the movies to take my mind off it. She told me she'd call/ text as soon as he was on his way so I could get home to be there. I only lived like a 20 minute walk from the theater.

So I'm sitting in the theater but I'm too excited to see my dad to pay much attention to the movie. I put my phone on silent as I didn't want to bother anyone. I keep checking my phone to see if I've received a message. Just quickly flipping it open and closed again. Everytime I did that something would smack me in the head. Almost like a slingshot was being used. I'd look round, but couldn't see anything. After about the sixth time I had to stop checking my phone as my head was smarting. I missed a text from my mom saying my dad was on his way. He got home and I wasn't there to meet him.

Never did find out who was whacking me in the head. Some guys in movie theaters are real assholes.

/csb

You're a dumbass. Yes, I read the post you were riffing on. You are still a dumbass. Your post was neither informative, nor funny.



I thought it was amusing. Not bust-a-gut hilarious like George Carlin or the 3 Stooges but I got a chuckle or 2 out of it
 
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