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(WTKR)   Small Virginia city puts out request for 'Strike Team Vehicles' that don't exist yet to haul workers and gear to remote locations. With concept art that looks like the bastard child of a Humvee and a cherry picker   (wtkr.com) divider line 108
    More: Stupid, Virginia City, Humvees, concept art, trains, dump trucks, cherry picker, workers, Pungo Off Road  
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11264 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2012 at 10:07 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-26 08:52:17 AM  
This ought to fit the bill:

www.snowcrest.net
Hotter than a mutant cockroach.
 
2012-06-26 08:58:29 AM  
I think I dreamed up the same thing in crayon when I was eight.
 
2012-06-26 09:26:30 AM  
Actually, this exists, and is popular in Africa:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unimog

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-26 09:35:31 AM  
SMALL GOVERNMENT!
 
2012-06-26 09:38:07 AM  
...and and a flamethrower and spikes on the wheels and a big engine so it goes VROOOGGGMMM! and I'll name it the Awesomemobile and it'll have wings so it can fly away!
 
2012-06-26 09:48:45 AM  

Skeuomorph: Actually, this exists, and is popular in Africa:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unimog


I don't believe it. Pungo Off-Road Rob says nothing like this exists, and I'm sure the crack investigative team at WTKR did a thorough search of the relevant databases.
 
2012-06-26 10:12:32 AM  
there will be lots of large vehicles used to move Obama away from coal. did Uncle Sam start training Miners for new vocations yet?
 
2012-06-26 10:12:40 AM  
Pinzgauer probably has a platform vehicle to start from. All the city needs to do is up it's drug arrests and seizures for auctioning, petition the DEA for War on Drugs Money, and the DHS for Anti-Terror equipment. Soon enough they will have their fleet of vehicles and can equip their police force in black tactical gear and arm them with all the best and latest weapons of a police state.
 
2012-06-26 10:14:48 AM  
They'll totally win the war on drugs with that.
 
2012-06-26 10:15:01 AM  
Here's my concept art:
ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2012-06-26 10:15:55 AM  
Slap a couple plows on an all terrain firetruck:
fire-engine-photos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-06-26 10:17:35 AM  
+1 on the Unimog. I've seen versions that are exactly what is described in TFA, but without the plows.
 
2012-06-26 10:18:56 AM  
Why does one city need this? Why not the VA National Guard? Sounds like a total waste of money for something that may only be used once every few years. And as has already been pointed out, there are quite a few options out there - a Humvee, Unimog, Oshkosh (if you want to get ridiculous).

If they want to be realisitic, get an F-550 4x4 chassis and add on the extras - I'm sure you could get a lift kit, off-road tires, winches, plows, etc.

But no, apparently they need a new toy, undoubtedly paid for in large part by grants from the feds for "Homeland Security"...
 
2012-06-26 10:19:09 AM  
Zombies do a double-take.
 
2012-06-26 10:19:50 AM  
I'm with thatguyfromtheinternet: this sounds like something conceived by an 8 year old after a marathon of A-Team and Transformers.
 
2012-06-26 10:21:23 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-26 10:22:22 AM  
Budget restraints call for sensibility yet proven performance.

Use what I use ...

images.dieselpowermag.com
 
2012-06-26 10:22:31 AM  
craphound.com

Here ya go. It's got a hemi and it totally water tight. I bet you could drive it through the Ohio River if'n you wanted to get beer on Sunday. There's plenty of room fer tools and people. You could anchor a winch, here, there and there over there. You can always tow a cherry picker, bub. That way, you aint wasting resources. The front end doubles as a plow.*

*None of this is meant to be factual.
 
2012-06-26 10:22:36 AM  
Oh, so they want Megaweapon!

I hear he is retired and living in Florida, Link
 
2012-06-26 10:24:40 AM  
I can build them. Start out with a couple surplus military five-ton trucks, add a couple 10,000 lb Ramsey winches, the crew cab mod and toolboxes. The Crane could be a simple modded self-loader like they use on logging trucks.

$150,000 each. Expect delivery within 180 days of order finalization.
 
2012-06-26 10:25:05 AM  
Unicat might have something...buy one for me too.
 
2012-06-26 10:25:27 AM  

eKonk: Why does one city need this? Why not the VA National Guard? Sounds like a total waste of money for something that may only be used once every few years. And as has already been pointed out, there are quite a few options out there - a Humvee, Unimog, Oshkosh (if you want to get ridiculous).

If they want to be realisitic, get an F-550 4x4 chassis and add on the extras - I'm sure you could get a lift kit, off-road tires, winches, plows, etc.

But no, apparently they need a new toy, undoubtedly paid for in large part by grants from the feds for "Homeland Security"...



Well they need it to be secure and because of the children. You would not deny them a new piece of shiny equipment, increased budget and additional manpower to help secure the community for the children now would you?

Plus the chief can take it up to the lake on weekends and it can tow the department ski boat
 
2012-06-26 10:26:05 AM  
Canadian military Bison Mobile Repair Team vehicle made by GM
 
2012-06-26 10:26:36 AM  
The reporter's source for "they want a truck that's not been invented and would be real hard to make" is this guy:

i50.tinypic.com

Because when researching a story about strike vehicles, the best resource to go to is some farking redneck with a shiatty-looking chop shop.
 
2012-06-26 10:27:10 AM  

Clemkadidlefark: Budget restraints call for sensibility yet proven performance.

Use what I use ...

[images.dieselpowermag.com image 640x480]


I like the way you think

/Drive the Lexus version of the FJ80 myself
 
2012-06-26 10:27:39 AM  

eKonk: Why does one city need this? Why not the VA National Guard? Sounds like a total waste of money for something that may only be used once every few years. And as has already been pointed out, there are quite a few options out there - a Humvee, Unimog, Oshkosh (if you want to get ridiculous).

If they want to be realisitic, get an F-550 4x4 chassis and add on the extras - I'm sure you could get a lift kit, off-road tires, winches, plows, etc.

But no, apparently they need a new toy, undoubtedly paid for in large part by grants from the feds for "Homeland Security"...


Which is also why we're cutting TANF, SNAP, UI, NASA/NPR/PBS/CPB's budget, Medicare reimbursement rates, WIC, and FHA assistance.

So that some dickwater town outside Dickwater, VA can have a big-penis toy.

// well, that and tax cuts
 
2012-06-26 10:27:54 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-26 10:27:59 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: [craphound.com image 600x450]

Here ya go. It's got a hemi and it totally water tight. I bet you could drive it through the Ohio River if'n you wanted to get beer on Sunday. There's plenty of room fer tools and people. You could anchor a winch, here, there and there over there. You can always tow a cherry picker, bub. That way, you aint wasting resources. The front end doubles as a plow.*

*None of this is meant to be factual.


You forgot to mention the stylish gullwing hood and plenty of head room for rescue helmets.
 
2012-06-26 10:29:09 AM  
Why don't they just get an MRAP?
 
2012-06-26 10:29:25 AM  
Well here's a small form pic:

www.military-today.com
 
2012-06-26 10:29:52 AM  
www.military-today.com
 
2012-06-26 10:31:08 AM  
Small, subby?

Suffolk is the largest city in Virginia, by area, with a total area of 429 square miles. While it has only a population of about 85,000; the surrounding region is home to about 1.5 million people.

/small, indeed
//surprising
 
2012-06-26 10:31:17 AM  
They actually might have gotten away with this too if they hadn't thought up such a crazy name, and knocked off a couple of the ridiculous specs.

Sounds like there is a need for some type of all terrain rescue vehicle, but the city ought to think about cost and what they really need, and what they don't.
 
2012-06-26 10:31:27 AM  
How about this?.

www.geekologie.com
 
2012-06-26 10:31:36 AM  
theshootening.files.wordpress.com

Thank me later Suffolk
 
2012-06-26 10:31:45 AM  

Joelogon: This ought to fit the bill:

[www.snowcrest.net image 640x457]
Hotter than a mutant cockroach.


Done in one!

What was the name of that series? I only half-remember it from my youth. IIRC SHAZAAM! came on right afterward in the line up...
 
2012-06-26 10:31:54 AM  

HenryFnord: Canadian military Bison Mobile Repair Team vehicle made by GM


I was really really wishing I had something like that or this....(hot) during Hurricanes Rita and Ike. I am not a hurricane person.

/did ride my KLR 650 around when Ike was slowing down....fun leaning into the wind.
 
2012-06-26 10:32:02 AM  
You don't need that. Or a strike team for that matter. You're not the goddamned Delta Force. Stop acting like assholes.
 
2012-06-26 10:32:40 AM  
I would think an H1 Hummer could do that with a couple of winches and a crane added to it.

Wouldn't it be easier to use the winch to get a tree out of the way instead of a plow? Plows do bad things to frames.

I guess they could follow the lead of Top Gear and their harvester based snow plow.
 
2012-06-26 10:32:45 AM  
That thing is missing Guybrush Threepwood's banana picker.
 
2012-06-26 10:34:16 AM  

JohnCarter: eKonk: Why does one city need this? Why not the VA National Guard? Sounds like a total waste of money for something that may only be used once every few years. And as has already been pointed out, there are quite a few options out there - a Humvee, Unimog, Oshkosh (if you want to get ridiculous).

If they want to be realisitic, get an F-550 4x4 chassis and add on the extras - I'm sure you could get a lift kit, off-road tires, winches, plows, etc.

But no, apparently they need a new toy, undoubtedly paid for in large part by grants from the feds for "Homeland Security"...


Well they need it to be secure and because of the children. You would not deny them a new piece of shiny equipment, increased budget and additional manpower to help secure the community for the children now would you?

Plus the chief can take it up to the lake on weekends and it can tow the department ski boat


I'm sorry, you're right. No one had told me it was for the children. I recant my previous impotent whining - for once when someone asks "Won't someone think of the children?", I can answer, "Yes, yes I will think of the children."

Wait, I'm sorry, who's Chris Hansen and why is he asking me to have a seat over there?
 
2012-06-26 10:34:19 AM  
www.paramountgroup.biz

I'm sure there is a configuration of a Marauder which fits their bill
 
2012-06-26 10:35:34 AM  
....well an Alvis Stalwart would fit most of the bill. One was for sale here in Houston several years ago for $30k. Wish I had the money then.
 
2012-06-26 10:39:52 AM  

Joelogon: This ought to fit the bill:


Hotter than a mutant cockroach.


Why can't I place this movie? I know the vehicle, but what's the name?
 
2012-06-26 10:41:05 AM  
Check out the video:
http://www.army.forces.gc.ca/land-terre/news-nouvelles/story-reportag e -eng.asp?id=3504
 
2012-06-26 10:42:28 AM  
Virtually every single medium and heavy duty truck manufacturer (Peterbilt, International, Kenworth, Mack, etc) makes the base unit they are looking for (4x4 or 6x6 all wheel drive, crew cab, etc). And the rear service body and accessories can by be bought at any number of places. These aren't "special" vehicles by any definition....they are however much, MUCH more expensive than the $180,000 the city budgeted. That's where they screwed up. I design bucket and digger derrick trucks which use essentially the same chassis and many of the same components as what this proposal is asking for and they typically don't come in anywhere under $300K.....Hell, a bare 6x6 cab/chassis is $100K...
 
2012-06-26 10:45:41 AM  

jayphat: Joelogon: This ought to fit the bill:

Hotter than a mutant cockroach.

Why can't I place this movie? I know the vehicle, but what's the name?


Damnation Alley. I had to GIS to confirm it.

/obscure, etc.
 
2012-06-26 10:47:38 AM  

CJHardin: [www.military-today.com image 600x385]


Came for a picture of a Buffalo MPCV....left satisfied.
 
2012-06-26 10:49:38 AM  
Unimog sure seems like the way to go, judging by what's on the Internet. They have a base model rescue vehicle and an optional plow and cherry picker. Looks a LOT like the terrible picture.
 
2012-06-26 10:50:00 AM  
i345.photobucket.com
Oh, hell yes.

But you'll need one of these to carry it:
1.bp.blogspot.com

And one of these to pilot the thing to carry it:
images.wikia.com

It might blow the budget of $180,000 per unit though.

/images hot like Ferro.
//Who is in the pipe, 5 by 5.
 
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