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(Detroit Free Press)   "We have an invasive species on our hands, displacing native species and overfeeding on native vegetation." "Well, they're cute, and you guys are just big meanies"   (freep.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, native species, invasive species, Michigan Department of Natural Resources, Rick Snyder, homeowner association, Oakland County, Wildlife Services, Society of the United States  
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32948 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2012 at 3:13 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



241 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-06-25 02:06:35 PM  
Swans keep geese from shiatting all over everything, so they got that going for them at least.
 
2012-06-25 02:10:22 PM  

Jubeebee: Swans keep geese from shiatting all over everything, so they got that going for them at least.


Time to bring in the gorillas to kill the swans.
 
2012-06-25 02:15:12 PM  
The birds in the article are angry bastards who attack small children and pets. I'm not surprised.
 
2012-06-25 02:23:28 PM  
You heartess jerks! Mexicans and poor people should NOT be called "invasive"... meanies.
 
2012-06-25 02:53:15 PM  
FTA

. "They've been here since the 1800s. How long until something's native?"

Ask the Aussies
 
2012-06-25 03:15:38 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: The birds in the article are angry bastards who attack small children and pets. I'm not surprised.


No lie. Tell these activists to come adopt one or volunteer to help relocate them. See how in love with them they are then.
 
2012-06-25 03:17:25 PM  
I think the swan's beauty is a defense mechanism to make people forget that they are assholes.
 
2012-06-25 03:17:29 PM  
"Avers said mute swans are aggressive toward humans and native waterfowl, such as the loon and trumpeter swan."

But many of those loons are members of the Tea Party and deserve everything coming to them.
 
2012-06-25 03:17:40 PM  

baka-san: FTA

. "They've been here since the 1800s. How long until something's native?"

Ask the Paleoindians

/fixed that for us Yanks
 
2012-06-25 03:18:46 PM  

Dr.Knockboots: You heartess jerks! Mexicans and poor people should NOT be called "invasive"... meanies.


I believe the accepted term is "Invasive-American"
 
2012-06-25 03:18:49 PM  
I think the question on everyone's mind is...Are they delicious?
 
2012-06-25 03:18:51 PM  
How do they taste roasted with a nice spicy rub or glaze? What kind of beer would be served?
 
2012-06-25 03:19:13 PM  
THey are almost as evil as the honey swans.
 
2012-06-25 03:19:55 PM  

baka-san: FTA

. "They've been here since the 1800s. How long until something's native?"

Ask the Aussies


I enjoyed that line, considering the article proceeds to state Michigan got its first pair of mute swans in 1919...

/goddamn stupid hippies. It's one thing to want to help the environment, but to be so naive about it...
 
2012-06-25 03:19:59 PM  
Not cute.
And even if they were... tasty trumps cute.
 
2012-06-25 03:20:00 PM  
FTA: "Avers said the department regularly receives reports of mute swans attacking people or dogs."

I bet my dog could cure them of that. This accurately reflects exactly what happens every time my sweet little girl, Zero, sees a small animal.
 
2012-06-25 03:20:38 PM  
j.wigflip.com
 
2012-06-25 03:21:05 PM  
Other invasive species that meant "no harm"

upload.wikimedia.org

upload.wikimedia.org

t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-06-25 03:21:05 PM  
There are no known incidents ever of any injury caused by a swan in the UK.

Really. We've had them for like ever and no-one has reported being injured by one.

/ Plenty of myths about how they can break an arm, but it's never actually happened.
 
2012-06-25 03:21:13 PM  
Kittens. I expected kittens. . . .

(leaving disappointed)
 
2012-06-25 03:21:56 PM  

baka-san: FTA

. "They've been here since the 1800s. How long until something's native?"

Ask the Aussies


I was gonna say 20,000-30,000 years.
 
2012-06-25 03:22:07 PM  
hoveysmith.files.wordpress.com

And the problem is....?
 
2012-06-25 03:23:06 PM  

Snarfangel: I think the question on everyone's mind is...Are they delicious?


I think they used to be farmed in Britain like geese. I could be wrong.
 
2012-06-25 03:23:13 PM  
Bambi is cute but we shoot the f*ck out of his mom every year.
 
2012-06-25 03:23:35 PM  

Jubeebee: Swans keep geese from shiatting all over everything, so they got that going for them at least.


Exactly. Canada Geese are a much bigger problem and have much higher numbers. Is the enemy of my enemy my friend? Hey Michigan, leave my friend alone.
 
2012-06-25 03:23:57 PM  

JohnCarter: Other invasive species that meant "no harm"

[upload.wikimedia.org image 450x277]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 260x174]

[t0.gstatic.com image 274x184]


I thought the first image was English Ivy, it's pretty bad in someplaces.

What's the last one?
 
2012-06-25 03:24:39 PM  
Other techniques, such as destroying nests and spraying eggs with corn oil

I'll have mine over easy with a side of bacon and some orange juice. Whole wheat toast with butter, no potatoes. Thanks.
 
2012-06-25 03:24:40 PM  

lunkhed: There are no known incidents ever of any injury caused by a swan in the UK.

Really. We've had them for like ever and no-one has reported being injured by one.

/ Plenty of myths about how they can break an arm, but it's never actually happened.


If I remember correctly, the Queen owns all swans in the UK, so if you have an issue with an aggressive swan, you have to petition her for permission to have it relocated.
 
2012-06-25 03:24:45 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: Bambi is cute but we shoot the f*ck out of his mom every year.


biatch is tasty.
 
2012-06-25 03:24:48 PM  
Activists, now that's a heard that needs to be culled.
 
2012-06-25 03:25:07 PM  

basemetal: How do they taste roasted with a nice spicy rub or glaze? What kind of beer would be served?


Came here to say this. I love goose and duck so in the words of the Nuge, kill it and grill it.
 
2012-06-25 03:25:13 PM  

Snarfangel: I think the question on everyone's mind is...Are they delicious?


'Wild' swans apparently taste fishy. If bred for the table, they need to be fed on corn to be palatable.
 
2012-06-25 03:25:13 PM  

lunkhed: There are no known incidents ever of any injury caused by a swan in the UK.


Maybe not in the UK, but in Greece they are known to rape beautiful women.
 
2012-06-25 03:25:17 PM  

Banned on the Run: [hoveysmith.files.wordpress.com image 640x480]

And the problem is....?


I was just going to ask, "How's the meat?"
 
2012-06-25 03:27:11 PM  

meat0918: JohnCarter: Other invasive species that meant "no harm"

[upload.wikimedia.org image 450x277]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 260x174]

[t0.gstatic.com image 274x184]

I thought the first image was English Ivy, it's pretty bad in someplaces.

What's the last one?


I'd guess fire-ants.
 
2012-06-25 03:28:00 PM  

lunkhed: Snarfangel: I think the question on everyone's mind is...Are they delicious?

'Wild' swans apparently taste fishy. If bred for the table, they need to be fed on corn to be palatable.


fish are also tasty.

So here you have a great big thing that tastes like fish, but without all the annoying little bones...
 
2012-06-25 03:28:16 PM  

meat0918: JohnCarter: Other invasive species that meant "no harm"

[upload.wikimedia.org image 450x277]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 260x174]

[t0.gstatic.com image 274x184]

I thought the first image was English Ivy, it's pretty bad in someplaces.

What's the last one?


Looks like a fire ant hill, which I can't believe was introduced on purpose.
 
2012-06-25 03:29:04 PM  

Snarfangel: lunkhed: There are no known incidents ever of any injury caused by a swan in the UK.

Maybe not in the UK, but in Greece they are known to rape beautiful women.


I think she was asking for it, what with the Greek men all buggering each other. She wasn't getting the attention.
 
2012-06-25 03:29:14 PM  
What a Michigan mute swan overpopulation problem-solver might look like.

www.opposingviews.com
 
2012-06-25 03:30:07 PM  
www.pierretristam.com
First thoughts on reading headline
 
2012-06-25 03:30:19 PM  

Jubeebee: Swans keep geese from shiatting all over everything, so they got that going for them at least.


Swans and geese are about even in the Shiat-producing department, and the swans are nasty little bastards to boot. I was deeply amused a few years ago when some MD waterfront property owners hired a guy to trap and remove the nasty snapping turtle that was killing all the classy swans on thier lake. MD DNR had to explain to them that the snappers are rare, and protected and native and the swans are not, so the turtle won.
 
2012-06-25 03:30:22 PM  

Sticky Hands: biatch is tasty.


I bet these suckers are even tastier. They're doing even more damage than what deer are doing, let's eat these jerks.
 
2012-06-25 03:30:33 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: The birds in the article are angry bastards who attack small children and pets. I'm not surprised.


I had to build a little structure from wood and glass to protect my pet pigs. That didn't stop them.
 
2012-06-25 03:31:26 PM  
Swan Attack Causes Anthony Hensley's Death; Kayaker ...
www.huffingtonpost.com/.../kayaker- ...
Apr 16, 2012 - Family and friends are trying to cope today with the death of an Illinois man who ...
 
2012-06-25 03:31:28 PM  
Kudzu (the first one) is awesome. It can grow a foot a day in optimal conditions.

It was brought to Georgia from Japan to control erosion. The Japanese must have gotten a good laugh selling the book 'How to care for and make Kudzu prosper'.
 
2012-06-25 03:31:31 PM  
"A young child couldn't defend himself against a bird of that size," Avers said.

Avers said a man drowned near Des Plaines, Ill., in April while using a kayak to check on mute swans that were being used to keep geese away from a pond. Authorities have said they believe the man fell into the water when a mute swan attacked him, and he was unable to make it to shore.

Just to help us keep in mind who is overreacting hysterically.

Mute swans: The silent killers!!!11
 
2012-06-25 03:31:32 PM  

Kuta: What a Michigan mute swan overpopulation problem-solver might look like.

[www.opposingviews.com image 301x251]


And, much like the geese, he shiats all over the place as well
 
2012-06-25 03:32:44 PM  

lunkhed: There are no known incidents ever of any injury caused by a swan in the UK.

Really. We've had them for like ever and no-one has reported being injured by one.

/ Plenty of myths about how they can break an arm, but it's never actually happened.


Maybe they are like everyone else and just hate Americans?

Brick-House: Activists, now that's a heard that needs to be culled.


I love that your ignorant nonsense came complete with a spelling mistake.
 
2012-06-25 03:32:58 PM  
Avers said a man drowned near Des Plaines, Ill., in April while using a kayak to check on mute swans that were being used to keep geese away from a pond. Authorities have said they believe the man fell into the water when a mute swan attacked him, and he was unable to make it to shore.


"I would like to introduce Mary, she was widowed last year"

"Oh, my. I am so sorry. May I ask what happened?"

"Swans killed him."

"Swarms you say? Do you mean bees, or wasps? Was he allergic"

"No, swans"

"Swans? You mean the bird?"

"Yes, the police believe he fell out of his kayak and was attacked by them, couldn't make it back to shore."

"Really? Doesn't that sound a little incredulous?"

"Not to the life insurance company *wink*"
 
2012-06-25 03:34:00 PM  
Stamper said mute swans are being demonized because they are good parents who aggressively protect their young. During a visit to Wolverine Lake, Stamper and others in her group got within a few yards of a nesting mute swan. The swan rustled her feathers a bit as she sensed people nearby but otherwise sat quietly, even rising once to adjust one of the seven eggs she was keeping warm.

Clearly, your anecdote overrides the opinions of state wildlife experts, biologists and numerous reported incidents of aggressive swans. We should let invasive species run rampant because they look pretty and you one time saw one that was pretty and nice and white and had babies and one of the babies looked at you.
 
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