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(BBC)   200,000 British women set new masturbation record   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 94
    More: Interesting, The Lost Symbol  
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26168 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2012 at 12:59 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-25 06:43:12 AM  
What's the female version of "fap"?
 
2012-06-25 06:47:27 AM  

SnarfVader: What's the female version of "fap"?


Schlick.
 
2012-06-25 06:53:09 AM  
blog.statefoodsafety.com
 
2012-06-25 07:17:27 AM  
Ha!
 
2012-06-25 07:32:01 AM  

SnarfVader: What's the female version of "fap"?


· 3 point shot
· a night in with the girls
· auditioning the finger puppets
· beating around the bush
· brushing the beaver
· carpet bumping
· checking for squirrels
· clam bake for one
· creamin'
· coming into your own
· dialing the rotary phone
· dousing the digits
· drilling for oil
· engaging in safe sex
· fanning the fur
· feeding the bearded clam
· fingerpainting
· flickin' the bean
· flit your clit
· frap
· gagging the clam
· get a date with slick mittens
· get to know yourself
· going mining
· groping the grotto
· greasing your hips
· grissle rub
· gusset typing
· hitchhiking south
· let the fingers do the walkin'
· manual override
· muffin buffin'
· nulling the void
· paddling the pink canoe
· pampering the pussy
· parting the red sea
· pearl fishing
· pet the pussy cat
· polishing the pearl
· play poker
· playing with her pineapple
· pussy soccer
· riding the unicycle
· rolling the dough
· rubbin' the nubbin
· soaking the whisker biscuit
· spelunking
· spearing the bearded clam
· squeeze the peach
· strumming the banjo
· surfing the channel
· teasing the tuna taco
· the virgin's release
· tickling the taco
· tiptoe through the twolips
· toggling the bit
· tossing pink salad
· trolling the bermuda triangle
· two finger taco tango
· washing your fingers

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090424212956AAeMoFi
 
2012-06-25 08:02:02 AM  
Wow, I never realized that so many people had such boring sex lives that they considered this book to be exciting.

Then again, we are talking about the Brits here.
 
2012-06-25 08:39:24 AM  

ms_lara_croft: SnarfVader: What's the female version of "fap"?

· 3 point shot
· a night in with the girls
· auditioning the finger puppets
· beating around the bush
· brushing the beaver
· carpet bumping
· checking for squirrels
· clam bake for one
· creamin'
· coming into your own
· dialing the rotary phone
· dousing the digits
· drilling for oil
· engaging in safe sex
· fanning the fur
· feeding the bearded clam
· fingerpainting
· flickin' the bean
· flit your clit
· frap
· gagging the clam
· get a date with slick mittens
· get to know yourself
· going mining
· groping the grotto
· greasing your hips
· grissle rub
· gusset typing
· hitchhiking south
· let the fingers do the walkin'
· manual override
· muffin buffin'
· nulling the void
· paddling the pink canoe
· pampering the pussy
· parting the red sea
· pearl fishing
· pet the pussy cat
· polishing the pearl
· play poker
· playing with her pineapple
· pussy soccer
· riding the unicycle
· rolling the dough
· rubbin' the nubbin
· soaking the whisker biscuit
· spelunking
· spearing the bearded clam
· squeeze the peach
· strumming the banjo
· surfing the channel
· teasing the tuna taco
· the virgin's release
· tickling the taco
· tiptoe through the twolips
· toggling the bit
· tossing pink salad
· trolling the bermuda triangle
· two finger taco tango
· washing your fingers

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090424212956AAeMoFi


I meant the sound, but I am totally going to show that list to Mrs Vader. Thanks for the chuckle.
 
2012-06-25 08:54:26 AM  

SnarfVader: I meant the sound, but I am totally going to show that list to Mrs Vader. Thanks for the chuckle.


Schlick.

And yes, that list is pretty good.

My favourites:

checking for squirrels
muffin buffin'
tiptoe through the twolips
 
2012-06-25 09:09:09 AM  

SnarfVader: ms_lara_croft: SnarfVader: What's the female version of "fap"?

· 3 point shot
· a night in with the girls
· auditioning the finger puppets
· beating around the bush
· brushing the beaver
· carpet bumping
· checking for squirrels
· clam bake for one
· creamin'
· coming into your own
· dialing the rotary phone
· dousing the digits
· drilling for oil
· engaging in safe sex
· fanning the fur
· feeding the bearded clam
· fingerpainting
· flickin' the bean
· flit your clit
· frap
· gagging the clam
· get a date with slick mittens
· get to know yourself
· going mining
· groping the grotto
· greasing your hips
· grissle rub
· gusset typing
· hitchhiking south
· let the fingers do the walkin'
· manual override
· muffin buffin'
· nulling the void
· paddling the pink canoe
· pampering the pussy
· parting the red sea
· pearl fishing
· pet the pussy cat
· polishing the pearl
· play poker
· playing with her pineapple
· pussy soccer
· riding the unicycle
· rolling the dough
· rubbin' the nubbin
· soaking the whisker biscuit
· spelunking
· spearing the bearded clam
· squeeze the peach
· strumming the banjo
· surfing the channel
· teasing the tuna taco
· the virgin's release
· tickling the taco
· tiptoe through the twolips
· toggling the bit
· tossing pink salad
· trolling the bermuda triangle
· two finger taco tango
· washing your fingers

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090424212956AAeMoFi

I meant the sound, but I am totally going to show that list to Mrs Vader. Thanks for the chuckle.


You're very welcome. ;) I guess the sound would be "slorp". LOL
 
2012-06-25 09:35:46 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-25 09:47:31 AM  
You ever start dating someone and discover something on their bookshelf that makes you think maybe this isn't the person you thought? I mean, I don't go snooping through medicine cabinets or anything, but I figure the bookshelf in your living room is what you're willing to admit to the world that you read. I've certainly read some things I'm not proud of, but those crappy Battle Tech books are buried in a box in the closet.
 
2012-06-25 09:55:24 AM  
www.panicposters.com
 
2012-06-25 10:23:59 AM  
What an English woman looks like,

img137.imageshack.us

Wish I had video of her flapping
 
2012-06-25 10:51:08 AM  

Sybarite: You ever start dating someone and discover something on their bookshelf that makes you think maybe this isn't the person you thought? I mean, I don't go snooping through medicine cabinets or anything, but I figure the bookshelf in your living room is what you're willing to admit to the world that you read. I've certainly read some things I'm not proud of, but those crappy Battle Tech books are buried in a box in the closet.


I get that sometimes when I'm with someone I thought was cool, and a 'funny' commercial I hate comes on (tv, radio, whatever) and just before I can say how much I hate the damn thing, the other person squeals like it's a goddam lost Python sketch and says "Oh my God, shhh... shhhh... I LOVE this commercial."
I just never know what to say.
 
2012-06-25 11:23:43 AM  
That's nothing. There are 58,789,194 wankers in the UK already.
 
2012-06-25 12:22:06 PM  
I could post some pics...but...why bother?
 
2012-06-25 12:23:27 PM  
i586.photobucket.com

Fine. This is not one of mine.
 
2012-06-25 01:00:13 PM  
film rights?

all u got to do is google "anal rape videos"
 
2012-06-25 01:00:39 PM  
I love that SNL Amazon commercial
 
2012-06-25 01:01:32 PM  
cdn.babble.com
 
2012-06-25 01:05:44 PM  

ms_lara_croft: SnarfVader: What's the female version of "fap"?

· 3 point shot
· a night in with the girls
· auditioning the finger puppets
· beating around the bush
· brushing the beaver
· carpet bumping
· checking for squirrels
· clam bake for one
· creamin'
· coming into your own
· dialing the rotary phone
· dousing the digits
· drilling for oil
· engaging in safe sex
· fanning the fur
· feeding the bearded clam
· fingerpainting
· flickin' the bean
· flit your clit
· frap
· gagging the clam
· get a date with slick mittens
· get to know yourself
· going mining
· groping the grotto
· greasing your hips
· grissle rub
· gusset typing
· hitchhiking south
· let the fingers do the walkin'
· manual override
· muffin buffin'
· nulling the void
· paddling the pink canoe
· pampering the pussy
· parting the red sea
· pearl fishing
· pet the pussy cat
· polishing the pearl
· play poker
· playing with her pineapple
· pussy soccer
· riding the unicycle
· rolling the dough
· rubbin' the nubbin
· soaking the whisker biscuit
· spelunking
· spearing the bearded clam
· squeeze the peach
· strumming the banjo
· surfing the channel
· teasing the tuna taco
· the virgin's release
· tickling the taco
· tiptoe through the twolips
· toggling the bit
· tossing pink salad
· trolling the bermuda triangle
· two finger taco tango
· washing your fingers

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090424212956AAeMoFi


Insta-favorite.
 
2012-06-25 01:06:26 PM  
Anybody know how this thing got launched/catapulted to success? I assume it wasn't Oprah's book club.
 
2012-06-25 01:07:08 PM  

ms_lara_croft: SnarfVader: What's the female version of "fap"?

· coming into your own


I love this one just for the Daytime TV event-ness of it.
 
2012-06-25 01:10:10 PM  
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-06-25 01:10:51 PM  
Honestly, there is something fishy about those numbers or digits, as it were.
 
2012-06-25 01:11:50 PM  
Just researched this a little - The plot traces the relationship between recent college graduate Anastasia Steele and manipulative billionaire Christian Grey. Steele is required by Grey to sign a contract allowing him complete control over her life as well as a non-disclosure agreement, something that he has required from all of his previous submissives. Upon learning that she is a virgin, Grey agrees to have sex with her in order to prepare her for later encounters, fully intending that the contract would be signed. As she gets to know him, she learns that his sexual tastes involve bondage, domination, and sadism, and that childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual. In order to be his partner, she agrees to experiment with BDSM, but she struggles to reconcile who she is (a virgin who has never previously had a boyfriend) with whom Christian wants her to be, his submissive and a to-do-with-as-he-pleases partner in his "Red Room of Pain"

LOL, the author sounds like some horny 10th grade boy.
 
2012-06-25 01:12:17 PM  
Thanks subby, now I have the sex scene from "The Man who fell to Earth" stuck in my head.
 
2012-06-25 01:12:29 PM  
FISH
 
2012-06-25 01:13:27 PM  
The novel tells the story of the steamy relationship between billionaire businessman Christian Grey and "unworldly, innocent" literature student, Anastasia Steele.

Well, that sounds "Pretty Woman" level inane and cliched.
 
2012-06-25 01:15:41 PM  
As a writer, I used to eschew self-publishing on Kindle and whatnot as the last refuge for the bad writer. I wanted to be published by a legitimate publisher, I wanted the approval of those gatekeepers.

But after this book was published and became so successful, the credibility of the gatekeepers are crap and so is the taste of the public.

Kindle here I come.
 
2012-06-25 01:16:01 PM  
 
2012-06-25 01:16:03 PM  
Are these the same Women that no longer want Sexual Intercourse? As per some other Author, on a previous thread.
 
2012-06-25 01:16:13 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: cdn.babble.com


Cover those teeth first, please.
 
2012-06-25 01:17:32 PM  

KiplingKat872:
Kindle here I come.


Please tell me that was an intended double entendre. Please
 
2012-06-25 01:18:33 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: LOL, the author sounds like some horny 10th grade boy.


No it's a girl, because in the book BDSM is only a symptom of severe emotional trauma that must be healed by the love of the right woman. My understanding is by the end of the series Grey is completely and absurdly P-whipped (as in, "she reads his e-mail and text messages/separates him from all his friends" level of creepy manipulative GF).
 
2012-06-25 01:18:48 PM  

DammitIForgotMyLogin: SnarfVader: What's the female version of "fap"?

Schlick.


Sexy Losers fan?
 
2012-06-25 01:19:11 PM  

thecpt: KiplingKat872:
Kindle here I come.

Please tell me that was an intended double entendre. Please


:D
 
2012-06-25 01:19:12 PM  
This book is kind of like the movie called "The Secretary"?
 
2012-06-25 01:21:34 PM  

KiplingKat872: No it's a girl, because in the book BDSM is only a symptom of severe emotional trauma that must be healed by the love of the right woman. My understanding is by the end of the series Grey is completely and absurdly P-whipped (as in, "she reads his e-mail and text messages/separates him from all his friends" level of creepy manipulative GF).


I just absolutely love absurd women's fantasies
 
2012-06-25 01:22:24 PM  

BurnShrike: Wow, I never realized that so many people had such boring sex lives that they considered this book to be exciting.

Then again, we are talking about the Brits here.


i1.ytimg.com

Almost. Almost. Almost. There you are.
Well done.
 
2012-06-25 01:23:45 PM  

Interceptor1: This book is kind of like the movie called "The Secretary"?


Nowhere near that good. Granted, my understanding from people in that world it is not realistic either, but at least there was something to Lee (Gyllenhaal's character) and it dealt with the emotional dynamic between the two, saying that BDSM as something that fulfilled them both.

Ana in 50 Shades is based on Bella of the Twilight series, so there is nothing to her. But like Bella, she does not evolve, gains no insight into herself as to why she got into this relationship. Her role is to "heal" Christan Grey because BDSM is a symptom of severe emotional dysfunction.
 
2012-06-25 01:26:29 PM  

Sybarite: You ever start dating someone and discover something on their bookshelf that makes you think maybe this isn't the person you thought? I mean, I don't go snooping through medicine cabinets or anything, but I figure the bookshelf in your living room is what you're willing to admit to the world that you read. I've certainly read some things I'm not proud of, but those crappy Battle Tech books are buried in a box in the closet.


You can do the same with someones DVR. A friend of mine keeps a couple episodes of The Golden Girls on his DVR at all times just to fark with people. He's over 6ft tall, over 220lbs, wears a full beard and his wardrobe consists primarily of lumberjack attire.
 
2012-06-25 01:27:37 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: I just absolutely love absurd women's fantasies


Absurd *childish and resentful* women's fantasies.

FTFM
 
2012-06-25 01:27:59 PM  

Sybarite: You ever start dating someone and discover something on their bookshelf that makes you think maybe this isn't the person you thought? I mean, I don't go snooping through medicine cabinets or anything, but I figure the bookshelf in your living room is what you're willing to admit to the world that you read. I've certainly read some things I'm not proud of, but those crappy Battle Tech books are buried in a box in the closet.


There is a combination used book store restaurant that we stop at some times. The restaurant lets you pick a used book from the pile of books deemed unsalable with each meal. I often pick old looking book of literature of poetry so I can put it on my bookshelf.
 
2012-06-25 01:30:56 PM  
I wish these articles would stop, I mean they make for great Fark material but the word of mouth keeps spreading it and it makes talking with a group of women who bring it up as awkward as when a viagara commercial comes on during a ball game you're watching with your dad.
 
2012-06-25 01:31:04 PM  
i586.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-25 01:31:48 PM  
i586.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-25 01:34:55 PM  

Cheron: Sybarite: You ever start dating someone and discover something on their bookshelf that makes you think maybe this isn't the person you thought? I mean, I don't go snooping through medicine cabinets or anything, but I figure the bookshelf in your living room is what you're willing to admit to the world that you read. I've certainly read some things I'm not proud of, but those crappy Battle Tech books are buried in a box in the closet.

There is a combination used book store restaurant that we stop at some times. The restaurant lets you pick a used book from the pile of books deemed unsalable with each meal. I often pick old looking book of literature of poetry so I can put it on my bookshelf.


I made sure my new girlfriend knew what she was getting into. Showed her my library of mostly scifi and fantasy novels, a heap of comic strip collections (foxtrot, calvin and hobbes, etc), to get her acquainted with The Geek Factor. Then I let her browse my porn drive. 3TB of pretty much every "normal" sort of porn...ie no CP, no creepy german schissenficken stuff, no heavy BDSM. the only weird stuff i collect is midget porn.

So far, she hasn't run screaming.......

....but that may be because I'm just really good at knot-tying.
 
2012-06-25 01:36:30 PM  
i586.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-25 01:37:07 PM  

Cheron: Sybarite: You ever start dating someone and discover something on their bookshelf that makes you think maybe this isn't the person you thought? I mean, I don't go snooping through medicine cabinets or anything, but I figure the bookshelf in your living room is what you're willing to admit to the world that you read. I've certainly read some things I'm not proud of, but those crappy Battle Tech books are buried in a box in the closet.

There is a combination used book store restaurant that we stop at some times. The restaurant lets you pick a used book from the pile of books deemed unsalable with each meal. I often pick old looking book of literature of poetry so I can put it on my bookshelf.


i586.photobucket.com
 
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