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(Click Orlando)   ♫ If you dive in a lake, and your head starts to ache - that's ... amoeba. ♪ When you're sick and in pain, cuz it's eating your brain - that's ... amoeba. ♫   (clickorlando.com) divider line 64
    More: Florida, killer, lakes  
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9943 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2012 at 10:08 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-25 09:37:09 AM  
www.microscopy-uk.org.uk

"OH HAI"
 
2012-06-25 10:12:38 AM  
It's Florida. Either swim in the ocean or a cold water spring. Stop swimming in our retention ponds.
 
2012-06-25 10:14:55 AM  
This should be a headline of the year candidate. It's a no-brainer.
 
2012-06-25 10:15:49 AM  
"We are the scientists in our the lab
Looking through a microscope
Those little glass slides they never lie
How can this small mind cope?

I've never seen anything like it before
This amoeba's got a mind of it's own
But don't turn your back you stupid science world
This one's reaching for the telephone..."
 
2012-06-25 10:16:01 AM  
This might explain the Florida tag itself. Brain eaten 'necks doing what they do.
 
2012-06-25 10:16:11 AM  
Oh subby, you sick yet brilliant bastard.
 
2012-06-25 10:17:21 AM  
FTA:
"The chance of an amoeba actually infecting someone is remote, but the chance that you'll die if an amoeba strikes is nearly 100 percent... 10 days."

"If you have those symptoms, and you know you've been out on a lake, you've gotten that water up your nose, get to a doctor right away," said Weister.

Mmm Hmm. What's the doctor gonna do? Confirm that I have it and run up the insurance bill?
 
2012-06-25 10:18:00 AM  
It's why I stay in a cool spring-fed river. The lakes in Central Texas are piss-warm this time of year anyhow. Throw a little naegleria in the mix, and it gives me even more reasons not to swim in the lake with the beer swilling wakeboarding crowd.
 
2012-06-25 10:18:31 AM  

Genju: It's Florida. Either swim in the ocean or a cold water spring. Stop swimming in our retention ponds.


And there's no shortage of swimming pools down here, either. I'd go boating or fishing on a lake, but I wouldn't swim in one if you paid me.
 
2012-06-25 10:18:46 AM  
the chance that you'll die if an amoeba strikes is nearly 100 percent....."If you have those symptoms, and you know you've been out on a lake, you've gotten that water up your nose, get to a doctor right away," said Weister.

Why bother?
 
2012-06-25 10:19:28 AM  
I'd shake my fist at cgraves67, but the amoebas are already attacking my brain.
 
2012-06-25 10:20:03 AM  
But there was an episode of House where the patient had Naegleria and survived, so it can't be that bad, right?
 
2012-06-25 10:21:07 AM  
+1 subs

Let's compare Amoeba to fat people:

there have been 20 deaths in the last five years.

That's 20 deaths in 1826.25 days, or one death every 91.3 days.

Cardiovascular disease killed 599,413 people in the US in 2009.

That's 1641 deaths, every day.

So, yes, amoeba:

i999.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-25 10:21:41 AM  
What are the brain slugs who control you going to do for the working man?

kdcd314.files.wordpress.com

Attach brain slugs to them.
 
2012-06-25 10:21:57 AM  
FTFA:
Lakes in Central Florida can be refreshing and relaxing, especially during the summer.

Come swim with the alligators and pythons for a true life experience.
 
2012-06-25 10:24:13 AM  

qorkfiend: Attach brain slugs to them.


Sure, you say that now!
 
2012-06-25 10:24:49 AM  
The headline brought me here, kudos you brilliant bastard.
 
2012-06-25 10:26:29 AM  

jeaux65: Oh subby, you sick yet brilliant bastard.


Maybe I should have read the first few comments before posting.
 
2012-06-25 10:27:08 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I'd shake my fist at cgraves67, but the amoebas are already attacking my brain.


www.thetick.ws
Is the mustache helping the fight at all?
 
2012-06-25 10:27:50 AM  
3 reasons you should not swim in Florida lakes or ponds. Alligators, Alligators and Amoeba.

Rivers are iffy, you still have Alligators and the occaisional Bull shark. Hell the Suwanee can be dangerous in a boat due to jumping sturgeon.
 
2012-06-25 10:28:25 AM  

Genju: It's Florida. Either swim in the ocean or a cold water spring. Stop swimming in our retention ponds.


What-eva! What-eva! I do what I want!
 
2012-06-25 10:28:49 AM  
A definate contender for HOTY
 
2012-06-25 10:30:14 AM  

betelgeux: jeaux65: Oh subby, you sick yet brilliant bastard.

Maybe I should have read the first few comments before posting.


I don't think you can have too many "brilliant bastard" comments in a thread with a headline like this.

Again Subby, kuddos. You sick sociopathic brilliant bastard.
 
2012-06-25 10:36:44 AM  
Amoebas destroy the brains of Florida children? That explains a lot.
 
2012-06-25 10:37:11 AM  
Maybe it's time to stop swimming?
 
2012-06-25 10:38:38 AM  
Headline is awesome. Article is reinforcement that being outside longer than the commute to your subjugation station is dangerous.
 
2012-06-25 10:40:04 AM  

lilbjorn: Amoebas destroy the brains of Florida children? That explains a lot.


It explains why amoebas are starving to death in Florida.
 
2012-06-25 10:40:43 AM  
This calls for....

www.web-records.com

www.iamspencer.com
 
2012-06-25 10:40:58 AM  
LittleSmitty

Rivers are iffy, you still have Alligators and the occaisional Bull shark. Hell the Suwanee can be dangerous in a boat due to jumping sturgeon.

Doesn't look that dangerous to me.

t0.gstatic.com width-"188" height="268">
 
2012-06-25 10:41:01 AM  

LittleSmitty: 3 reasons you should not swim in Florida lakes or ponds. Alligators, Alligators and Amoeba.

Rivers are iffy, you still have Alligators and the occaisional Bull shark. Hell the Suwanee can be dangerous in a boat due to jumping sturgeon.


Then you have the oceans. That's a moray
 
2012-06-25 10:43:05 AM  
Bravo subby
 
2012-06-25 10:47:23 AM  
The chance of an amoeba actually infecting someone is remote, but the chance that you'll die if an amoeba strikes is nearly 100 percent.

In fact, there's only one known survivor in the United States.



Good headline, but these amoebas aren't limited to just Florida.
 
2012-06-25 10:49:15 AM  
These parasites seem to prey on kids. According to the CDC, the average age of an amoeba victim is just 12 years old.

Amoeba Sanduskeus?
 
2012-06-25 10:58:54 AM  
www.startrek.com

Kill it from space?
 
2012-06-25 11:06:26 AM  
20 deaths in 5 years?! And we're worrying about this shiat?!

I'll admit, there are plenty of things out there trying to kill us, but there are far bigger things worth worrying about. I don't have any numbers to back me up, but I'd be willing to guess that deaths from hair dryers is higher on the list than this.
 
2012-06-25 11:09:32 AM  

BurnShrike: I don't have any numbers to back me up, but I'd be willing to guess that deaths from hair dryers is higher on the list than this.


Which is why you shouldn't swim with them, either.
 
2012-06-25 11:15:31 AM  

Cybernetic: But there was an episode of House where the patient had Naegleria and survived, so it can't be that bad, right?


That episode drove me batshiat. I think the medical consultants are sloppy morons (which may include David Shore, MD). They found it in the ventilation system (which is irrelevant, it actually basically burrows up the nose [through the cribriform plate] into the brain when snorted in the water). Then they said "Oh, it's Naegleria, now we can treat it!" when it's practically a death sentence.

Nobody even knows how to treat it, they've tried combinations of Bactrim and amphotericin, and now and again someone survives.
 
2012-06-25 11:29:35 AM  
There was a kid here who died from an amoeba about 20 years ago. I've always thought lake swimming was disgusting anyway.
 
2012-06-25 11:40:40 AM  
Amoebas like it hot, when we average temperatures in the 90s, and the water is above 80 degrees.

Guess I'm safe up here in Michigan then, the only places L. Superior is over 80 is near the power plants and other factories.
 
2012-06-25 11:56:38 AM  

loonatic112358: Bravo subby


I wonder if it's the same subby who has been dropping the lyrical headline puns lately. If so, said subby is on a streak of punny goodness.
 
2012-06-25 11:57:34 AM  

dennysgod: Amoebas like it hot, when we average temperatures in the 90s, and the water is above 80 degrees.

Guess I'm safe up here in Michigan then, the only places L. Superior is over 80 is near the power plants and other factories.


You've got your own unique problems then.

www.freakingnews.com
 
2012-06-25 12:02:07 PM  
Subby, I chortled.
 
2012-06-25 12:22:15 PM  
Went swimming near here a few times, but in gator-free lakes. Lots of birdshiat but no gators.

However, this stuff about warm water is no joke. No amoeba for me but you also have to watch out for whatever that little worm thing was that tried to crawl into my arm. Biting/stinging sensation and there's some little orange larva looking thing trying to bite its way into my skin. Got out of there and won't go back this time of year.
 
2012-06-25 12:23:14 PM  

Posh Naranek: Went swimming near here a few times, but in gator-free lakes. Lots of birdshiat but no gators.


I dunno where "near here" is, but if it was in Florida, it wasn't a gator-free lake.
 
2012-06-25 12:28:09 PM  
Quick summer swim-hole guide for our younger Florida rednecks and other slow-minded white-trash visitors.

YES
www.rvforsaleguide.com

NO
orlandoretentionpond.com
 
2012-06-25 12:31:52 PM  
Well, this explains a lot. I went swimming in Lake Weir, near Tampa, in the 1960's.
 
2012-06-25 12:34:57 PM  
As a Floridian who likes to play in the mud, this amoeba thing really does scare me).

/not a redneck though, I swear
 
2012-06-25 12:43:57 PM  
I spent the summer of '90 down there working for a marine construction company. I got burnt by creosote on my arms (nasty shiat) and the boss told me it was an infection due to "them aneebics" swimming up my ass. Being a dumbass 20yo Yankee I believed him and damn near called 911.
I didn't fall for the "black-tipped sharks" which I knew were tarpon, though.
 
2012-06-25 12:45:50 PM  
I live in Florida (Miami) and have never once had the slightest urge to swim in a freakin' lake. Every lake I know about has slime, exceptionally hungry (i.e. agressive) ducks, alligators, or something else I wouldn't want to inhabit water with. There is no shortage of swimming pools, and if you're that hard up for a body of water to swim in, well, it's Florida. Find an ocean. If you drive any direction except north, you're bound to run into one eventually.
 
2012-06-25 01:11:52 PM  

Porous Horace: Maybe it's time to stop swimming?


Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.
 
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