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(Digital Trends)   Surely by now, everyone realizes that the largest group of video gamers are adults. Why then, is there so little sex in video games? Custer's Revenge notwithstanding   (digitaltrends.com) divider line 165
    More: Interesting, tomb raider, informed consents, Mass Effect, Lara Croft, Tom and Jerry  
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3309 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Jun 2012 at 12:23 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-25 08:41:00 PM

Precision Boobery: Fano: Even gamers think it would be a bit creepy for expecting a handy for rescuing Zelda.

That is almost literally the least she could do. Is there anyone in the history of video games with a worse case of blueballs than Link? At least Mario has the prospect of anonymous, DADT Toad sex when the dark, lonely night is at its coldest.


In Zelda II you know he railed her sleeping body every chance he got
 
2012-06-25 08:44:34 PM

Theaetetus: Really? Because "survey" doesn't seem like a stereotype. Can you please explain what trait a "survey" would seem to characterize?


People who have so few interesting things to do with their lives, they take surveys. They're society's exact reciprocal of "we're going to change the world with our signatures" clipboard guy.
 
2012-06-25 08:48:42 PM

Theaetetus: i948.photobucket.com
Nah, these guys totally know what broads like. So much so that they don't need to ask them or listen to them, and if said broads don't like their campaign, why, it's those women that have the problem.


Who are these guys? I did a reverse image search but only got 127 hits out of more than a hundred billion pages, so they've got to be pretty obscure...
 
2012-06-25 08:48:59 PM
To tell you the true I don't even know why I try anymore.
 
2012-06-25 10:46:42 PM
Yep, because adult males play video games to get away from the womenfolk. if i want to have sex, ill go get the woman out of the kitchen.
 
2012-06-25 10:51:08 PM

fluffy2097: Antimatter: On the flip side, you had a few both models that were not fans on the series, not fans of the fans, and basically treating it as a paid gig and nothing more. They often felt very distant and treated the fans like crap. the girl who was dressed as Jill Valentine for the Resident Evil 3ds game booth was like that.

And that's why they're models, not actors, and will eventually become strippers.

/if you cant be genuine at least act.


Bingo. If you can't maintain a smile and be cheerful, even if your definitely not happy to be there, your going to end up on a pole someday, or out of work.

I mean hell, their game nerds. Smile a little and laugh, and you'll have them eating out of your hand in no time. Might get a few dinner requests from the more confident ones, but just politely decline and move on. If a really handsome or well off one asks, hey, go for it.
 
2012-06-25 11:33:44 PM

Antimatter: Bingo. If you can't maintain a smile and be cheerful, even if your definitely not happy to be there, your going to end up on a pole someday, or out of work.

I mean hell, their game nerds. Smile a little and laugh, and you'll have them eating out of your hand in no time. Might get a few dinner requests from the more confident ones, but just politely decline and move on. If a really handsome or well off one asks, hey, go for it.


Or take 5 seconds to Wikipedia the character you've been hired to play. Know a catch phrase or two, know a few memes and references. Your character might even be surly and if you play it right, you could legitimately tell off obnoxious nerds and get away with it because it's in character.

Nope. They stand around and look pretty and bored. It's sad to see them not using their head. At least they are pretty, and there is an endless supply of them.
 
2012-06-26 12:26:27 AM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: There's a lot of folks who really didn't like that game. Such things are very subjective


I enjoyed a lot of that game, just not the fact that it had plot holes you could drive the Death Star through.
 
2012-06-26 12:32:39 AM

Expolaris:
Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines did it pretty well too. The only sex is the opening scene, and it's the whole reason for your transformation.

The Malkavian crazy lady and the Toreador sex kitten insinuated quite a bit too.

also FTM Bloodlines for the win.

Being a beautiful monster with the Toreador was 1 step below sparkly vampire, even when it came down to your adoring wide eyed girl who follows you around.

Who was pretty much there to lure men into your apartment for you to feed off of, or for you to fark as you saw fit (Toreador for the win). You even got the best armor in the game if you treated her right.

Provided you were not all creepy vampire "YOU ARE A GHOUL NOW, DEAL WIT ...


Had a Bloodlines mod that allowed you to play as a Tzimisce (no fleshcrafting though; it was a mix of Toreador and Gangrel spells), who I felt were the most original and horrifying of all the bloodsuckers from the Masquerade. Always thought it would've been more twisted if you could sculpt her to a beauty -- or disfigured maniacal servant -- or like Andrei in Hollywood did, his furniture.
 
2012-06-26 03:16:52 AM
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-26 04:21:21 AM
I like seeing a lot of sexual innuendos in my video games... like seeing Lara Croft's Melons while running the game on the highest settings. Or maybe seeing those Dead or Alive Girls... like for example looking at Lei Fang's long legs delivering a high kick to some dude's face in those sexy heels. Now that's worthy of my attention.

If I could go back in time all over again, I would have dropped the whole Tomb Raider series in favor of the Zelda or the Final Fantasy series. Cause let's face it, Tomb Raider sucks. The coont's been all over world a good three times over. And don't get me started on every single level with an Egyptian theme on it. I have yet to see razor sharp blades that actually turn this chick into burger or turn her into individual meaty bits just for the lawls.

But if you are going to have a game where I have to constantly masturbate the spacebar to reach climax or prevent the evildoer from fondling my character, what kind of stupid shiat is that? Video games never really did the sex thing very well anyways. And that's because 3D polygon porn looks hopelessly retarded.
 
2012-06-26 07:43:41 AM

Clickscope: Video games never really did the sex thing very well anyways.


It's actually quite hard to do. If you think about it a video game is always going to be an objective based experience; even if those objectives are player set (i.e. sandbox games) it's still an objective.

Romance/sexual encounters in video games simply appear on a players given "to do" list of objectives and beyond the RP value, XP gained or gear it gives the player largely doesn't care one iota about it.
 
2012-06-26 09:37:49 AM

Vaneshi: Romance/sexual encounters in video games simply appear on a players given "to do" list of objectives and beyond the RP value, XP gained or gear it gives the player largely doesn't care one iota about it.


That's the majority of the market, I'm sure, and those brats can play Medal of Dudebro for all eternity. I like games with some depth, which sometimes means the "game" is more an interactive experience than a set of goals. There's enough room in this market for the both of us.
 
2012-06-26 03:52:52 PM

ProfessorOhki: Who are these guys? I did a reverse image search but only got 127 hits out of more than a hundred billion pages, so they've got to be pretty obscure...


The clue is actually in the image name - Mad Men. It's a tv show about an advertising agency in the 1960s.

Some 'Splainin' To Do: When it comes to buying titles for home there aren't nearly as many obstacles to selling an M title,


Now, I'm not fully up on the rating system, but if I remember right, M isn't the highest rating. M is equivalent to R, then there's AO which is equivalent to NC-17/X, which is the 'kiss of death' for standard movies.

It doesn't really matter what the proportion is - 10% of the potential market being underage is still 10% of your target group being gone if you go 'adult only'. Plus, if you go to AO then stores like Gamestop and Walmart won't carry it, which limits your target audience to those who visit adult stores(whether in person or online). In addition, most people don't know about hongfire and co.
 
2012-06-28 03:39:47 AM

Firethorn: ProfessorOhki: Who are these guys? I did a reverse image search but only got 127 hits out of more than a hundred billion pages, so they've got to be pretty obscure...

The clue is actually in the image name - Mad Men. It's a tv show about an advertising agency in the 1960s.


I believe the sarcasm may have escaped you, see:

Theaetetus: 255 hits out of more than a hundred billion pages. Wow. It's like the next Lolcat. How could I possibly have missed something that is easily more widespread than Justin Beiber and Katy Perry combined?


/Vaguely familiar with the Christina-Hendricks-walks-towards-the-camera-and-then-away-from-the-ca mera-show.
 
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