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(News.com.au)   Study finds 15 per cent of users would give up sex for their iPhone. SIRIOUSLY   (news.com.au) divider line 50
    More: Sad, iPhone, Lonely Planet, Starry Night, sexes  
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732 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Jun 2012 at 12:08 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-25 01:10:55 AM  
Please tell me those 15% have never had sex. If that ain't the case, humanity is so dead once we invent the holodeck.
 
2012-06-25 01:27:22 AM  
I would pretty much give up anything but my body parts for sex.
 
2012-06-25 01:29:39 AM  
I routinely have sex with a girl who is in love with her iPhone. She can multitask just fine.
 
2012-06-25 02:01:53 AM  
F*ck that.
 
2012-06-25 02:39:43 AM  
I just assumed most people had sex WITH their iPhones.
 
2012-06-25 02:56:52 AM  
Are we talking a lifetime of being without a smartphone, or just picking one over the other for a night? Because honestly, sometimes I just wanna take a long sh*t and check my email.

This applies only to relationships, not one-nighters. Relationship sex eventually gets old. But anyone turning down Strange for another romp with Safari has a problem.
 
2012-06-25 07:03:19 AM  
I think its a given that 15-20% of people are pants-on-head retarded. You can say the same number of people believe _________.
 
2012-06-25 07:40:46 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I just assumed most people had sex WITH their iPhones.


That vibrate function is there for a reason. ;)
 
2012-06-25 09:19:59 AM  
These individuals are most likely not having sex anyway, so they have no reference for comparison.
 
2012-06-25 09:34:16 AM  

PreMortem: I think its a given that 15-20% of people are pants-on-head retarded. You can say the same number of people believe _________.


THIS.

The number goes up as the plausibility of the ridiculous item goes up (see Fox News), but 15% is probably a solid baseline percentage of people that are just startlingly stupid.
 
2012-06-25 09:40:05 AM  

MrBallou: PreMortem: I think its a given that 15-20% of people are pants-on-head retarded. You can say the same number of people believe _________.

THIS.

The number goes up as the plausibility of the ridiculous item goes up (see Fox News), but 15% is probably a solid baseline percentage of people that are just startlingly stupid.


I wonder what percentage of Farkers have TF. Now you've got me wondering.
 
2012-06-25 09:55:26 AM  

BurnShrike: MrBallou: PreMortem: I think its a given that 15-20% of people are pants-on-head retarded. You can say the same number of people believe _________.

THIS.

The number goes up as the plausibility of the ridiculous item goes up (see Fox News), but 15% is probably a solid baseline percentage of people that are just startlingly stupid.

I wonder what percentage of Farkers have TF. Now you've got me wondering.


I think it's around 15%. What's your point?
 
2012-06-25 10:00:48 AM  
A lot of people are just unattractive, and therefore not capable of having sex with somebody who's attractive (without paying for it, that is). And sex just isn't as much fun in that case.
 
2012-06-25 10:34:11 AM  
Um...I have an iPhone, but you can safely count me in with the other 85% thankyouverymuch.
 
2012-06-25 12:12:27 PM  
Siri, would you give me a blow job?

Siri: Let me find that for you... I'm sorry, cannot find a blow job for you.
 
2012-06-25 12:12:38 PM  
What is the percentage of the population that has never had sex? 15% sounds likely.
 
2012-06-25 12:13:42 PM  
Well at least the iPhone doesn't break for a week every month.
 
2012-06-25 12:15:51 PM  
Probably because they're having sex with other iPhone users.
 
2012-06-25 12:19:36 PM  

PvtHike: Please tell me those 15% have never had sex.


PreMortem: I think its a given that 15-20% of people are pants-on-head retarded.


Some people have only had bad experiences with sex. Unfortunately. It takes some skill, you know, and certain situations (assault, abuse, religion) get people to think those skills don't even exist. A lot of them are stupid but some are just really, really unlucky.
 
2012-06-25 12:27:45 PM  
As I was telling someone this morning, bad sex is better than good pretty much anything else.
 
2012-06-25 12:29:40 PM  
You forgot to mention, subby, that 0% of them took the question seriously. If you ask retarded questions in a survey, you are likely to get retarded answers in return.
 
2012-06-25 12:36:47 PM  

GameSprocket: As I was telling someone this morning, bad sex is better than good pretty much anything else.


Link
 
2012-06-25 12:38:12 PM  

GameSprocket: As I was telling someone this morning, bad sex is better than good pretty much anything else.


I'm inclined to agree with this. I've had bad sex (fault was on my part due to inexperience and an inability to finish, which made things a bit uncomfortable after a while) but I'd still pick that over a night with an iphone. Hell, I'd still pick that over most things.

I suppose perhaps if the sex was really, really bad though, maybe even painful, then perhaps an alternative might seem the better option.
 
2012-06-25 12:39:23 PM  
That's...a really tiny segment of the populace.

I'm okay with this.
 
2012-06-25 12:40:14 PM  

The sound of one hand clapping: GameSprocket: As I was telling someone this morning, bad sex is better than good pretty much anything else.

I'm inclined to agree with this. I've had bad sex (fault was on my part due to inexperience and an inability to finish, which made things a bit uncomfortable after a while) but I'd still pick that over a night with an iphone. Hell, I'd still pick that over most things.

I suppose perhaps if the sex was really, really bad though, maybe even painful, then perhaps an alternative might seem the better option.


Like being raped?
 
2012-06-25 12:41:05 PM  
"Almost two thirds per cent" Wtf does that even mean?
 
2012-06-25 12:54:09 PM  
Study finds 15 per cent of users would give up sex for their iPhone.

Further finds that another 63% already have.
 
2012-06-25 01:02:47 PM  

jonnnney: "Almost two thirds per cent" Wtf does that even mean?


It means just under 0.6667 percent.
 
2012-06-25 01:14:23 PM  
Let's rephrase the question:

How many people would be willing to give up their iPhones FOR sex?

This would seem like a popular option inside strip clubs, I suppose....
 
2012-06-25 01:14:34 PM  

Confabulat: I routinely have sex with a girl who is in love with her iPhone. She can multitask just fine.


You mean she's recording it, right?
 
2012-06-25 01:18:19 PM  

MoronLessOff: Confabulat: I routinely have sex with a girl who is in love with her iPhone. She can multitask just fine.

You mean she's recording it, right?


Vibrate function not withstanding
 
2012-06-25 01:23:04 PM  
Sex is wildly overrated. I'm amazed the percentage is so low.
 
2012-06-25 01:24:57 PM  

PvtHike: Please tell me those 15% have never had sex. If that ain't the case, humanity is so dead once we invent the holodeck.


Well given that the profit margin on the iPhone is near 50%, the target audience is people with money to blow. This is middle ages people going through midlife crises and would learn toward ones without kids.

If you're married and in your 40s+, you probably aren't having much sex anyway.
 
2012-06-25 01:26:28 PM  

MrBallou: PreMortem: I think its a given that 15-20% of people are pants-on-head retarded. You can say the same number of people believe _________.

THIS.

The number goes up as the plausibility of the ridiculous item goes up (see Fox News), but 15% is probably a solid baseline percentage of people that are just startlingly stupid.


Those people are the ones having the most sex. Football/sports players, models, movie stars, random one night stands in bars.
 
2012-06-25 01:27:06 PM  

serial_crusher: A lot of people are just unattractive, and therefore not capable of having sex with somebody who's attractive (without paying for it, that is). And sex just isn't as much fun in that case.


This too. What percentage are obese again?
 
2012-06-25 03:19:18 PM  
This is ridiculous.
Orgasms or Angry Birds?
Seriously?
 
2012-06-25 03:32:04 PM  
Is it illegal to solicit my iPhone for sex? :(
 
2012-06-25 03:33:50 PM  

Bullseyed: Well given that the profit margin on the iPhone is near 50%, the target audience is people with money to blow.


By that logic, if I bought a giant box of gold coins for a penny and sold it to you for 5 cents, that would mean you're rich because my profit margin was 500%?

You need to think this one through a bit more.
 
2012-06-25 04:42:52 PM  
I'm guessing they've either never gotten any or it's been so long they forget what it was like.

/or they're married to pigs
 
2012-06-25 05:06:50 PM  
Well I haven't been getting any for a while, might as well get something for my patience.
 
2012-06-25 05:53:47 PM  
Well, I don't get sex anyway. So why would I also give up my phone?

Sounds lose-lose to me.
 
2012-06-25 06:07:38 PM  

MrBallou: PreMortem: I think its a given that 15-20% of people are pants-on-head retarded. You can say the same number of people believe _________.

THIS.

The number goes up as the plausibility of the ridiculous item goes up (see Fox News MSNBC), but 15% is probably a solid baseline percentage of people that are just startlingly stupid.


FTFY... MSNBC is the 'I had Bigfoot's baby while getting an anal probe by the greys and watching the Lochness monster clubbing baby seals' network. Prolly influenced by National Enquirer..
 
2012-06-25 07:22:50 PM  
Well those people can't really give up sex, when they are not having it.
 
2012-06-25 08:33:51 PM  

Bullseyed: PvtHike: Please tell me those 15% have never had sex. If that ain't the case, humanity is so dead once we invent the holodeck.

Well given that the profit margin on the iPhone is near 50%, the target audience is people with money to blow. This is middle ages people going through midlife crises and would learn toward ones without kids.

If you're married and in your 40s+, you probably aren't having much sex anyway.


If you're married and in your 40s+, you probably don't have an iPhone.

Not to say there aren't any, but they are the minority. iPhones attract a younger crowd.
 
2012-06-25 09:14:07 PM  

diaphoresis: MrBallou: PreMortem: I think its a given that 15-20% of people are pants-on-head retarded. You can say the same number of people believe _________.

THIS.

The number goes up as the plausibility of the ridiculous item goes up (see Fox News MSNBC), but 15% is probably a solid baseline percentage of people that are just startlingly stupid.

FTFY... MSNBC is the 'I had Bigfoot's baby while getting an anal probe by the greys and watching the Lochness monster clubbing baby seals' network. Prolly influenced by National Enquirer..


I don't know about Nessie. I just meant that Fox manages to keep their lies and propaganda at a level that fools the stupidest 50% of voters, explaining the closeness of the last few elections. Pretty masterful manipulation, if you ask me.
 
2012-06-25 09:39:34 PM  

Kuroshin: Bullseyed: PvtHike: Please tell me those 15% have never had sex. If that ain't the case, humanity is so dead once we invent the holodeck.

Well given that the profit margin on the iPhone is near 50%, the target audience is people with money to blow. This is middle ages people going through midlife crises and would learn toward ones without kids.

If you're married and in your 40s+, you probably aren't having much sex anyway.

If you're married and in your 40s+, you probably don't have an iPhone.

Not to say there aren't any, but they are the minority. iPhones attract a younger crowd.


Wat?

This doesn't remotely match my own observations.
 
2012-06-25 11:15:08 PM  
Study finds 15 per cent of users fanboys would give up anal sex in exchange for their an iPhone.

There, fixed.
 
2012-06-26 12:27:36 AM  
You know what this needs right? A virus that hacks an iphone to cause Siri to ask the owner "Please, don't have sex anymore. For me?"

"What?"

"I can't stand seeing you with those trampy women."

"Well, I guess..."

Balls in your court, anonymous. It's the only way to see what would REALLY happen. For science!
 
2012-06-26 03:03:42 AM  
Perhaps they are just bad at it, kinda like why I don't play darts.
 
2012-06-26 10:40:51 AM  
percent is one word submitter
 
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