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(Wikia)   You're the president of Earth. Aliens invade and demand that you nuke one American city. Which city do you choose? Difficulty: no Detroit   (starwars.wikia.com) divider line 665
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8373 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2012 at 4:19 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-24 02:35:47 AM  
Washington, DC ... while I was someplace else. Because why settle for just being president?

storyfanatic.com
 
2012-06-24 02:37:40 AM  
Clearwater, FL.
 
2012-06-24 02:47:43 AM  
El Reno OK or Palmyra NJ... [flips coin] Palmyra it is.
 
2012-06-24 02:48:31 AM  
Where's the Capitol of Earth?

That's the city I'd nuke, right after convening a meeting of all world leaders with the alien leadership.

Oh, politicians will eventually come back, but the planet can do with a few thousand less powerful non-entities for a while.
 
2012-06-24 02:49:28 AM  
That's easy: Manhattan, New York City.

I'd spare NYC at large, but nuke Manhattan, as it's the size of Seattle in the first place.

That would solve the mess we're in right now with our financial system. (Not really, but it'd send a message and give us an opportunity to rebuild the damn system with reforms.)
 
Ehh
2012-06-24 02:58:50 AM  
Solid Muldoon: Jerusalem. It would solve a lot of problems.

Yeah, all the problems that people cause, once everybody lights up at once in a genuine apocalyptic nuclear freakout and we all die.
 
2012-06-24 03:02:14 AM  

eddievercetti: [www.solarfeeds.com image 400x303]

What does New Mexico have anyways? Also, Tucson


The VLA and Lightining Field for two. Plus it has fantastic food. Tucson has the Hotel Congress.
 
2012-06-24 03:12:35 AM  
I'll see your Tulsa and raise you OKC.
 
2012-06-24 03:58:21 AM  
Islamabad, Pakistan. The world would be a better place without most of the raging idiots in that city.
 
2012-06-24 04:30:37 AM  

mynameist: I find it Farkish that every city named is famous for forward-thinking politics or being full of black people.


I thought of Washington DC, then realized you'd kill half a million more or less innocent black people. Maybe a super duper N bomb. Aim it at DC and it'll kill everyone in a fifty mile radius but leave buildings and black people standing.

Gumaraid: Islamabad, Pakistan. The world would be a better place without most of the raging idiots in that city.


Friend of mines been there, they wouldn't notice.
 
2012-06-24 04:33:39 AM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Milwaukee, WI

Great fun to visit, but exvaxman lives there.


What do you care about Madison? I thought you were leaving Wisconsin?

I agree with exvaxman- let's nuke The People's Republic of Madisonstan.
 
2012-06-24 04:37:05 AM  

Lsherm: Honolulu, if we're talking about limiting damage. Yeah, we'd lose the islands, but they're isolated.

If we're just going on people I hate, Trenton, NJ.


No kidding. At least the blast won't kill any innocent people.
 
2012-06-24 05:32:28 AM  
Demand something bigger. Those invaders should have some much more interesting weapons.
 
2012-06-24 05:49:57 AM  
Let's just get it over with.
Yellowstone Nat Park
/bury it deep
 
2012-06-24 06:16:20 AM  
Norwood, Massachusetts on a day when both the Patriots and the Red Sox are playing at home.

(It's about half way between Boston and Foxboro, and with any luck I can get them both.)
 
2012-06-24 06:18:25 AM  

PsyLord: Deacon Blue: Washington, D.C. You'd get rid of more politicians that way.

This, a close second is Miami, FL

/will sacrifice Miami just to get rid of the D-bags in South Beach


Jeez the hate is mind-blowing. Fark off. I have been to just about every city & town in the US and Miami is the best.

Is it jealousy? Or just group-think? Most likely the latter, which isn't surprising in the least bit.
 
2012-06-24 07:05:51 AM  
www.newclearvision.comwww.newclearvision.comwww.newclearvision.comwww.newclearvision.com
 
2012-06-24 07:12:17 AM  

Ima4nic8or: It doesnt much matter. Any big, ugly, overcrowded city would do: LA, SF, NY, Chicago, Seattle, etc..


Uhh.... What Seattle have you been to? The one I grew up in is none of those things... www.brianmrosenthal.com


Nuke OKC (Obviously).
 
2012-06-24 07:17:56 AM  
el paso we could probably lose without noticing
 
2012-06-24 07:20:24 AM  

wcvanhorne: Harry Turtledove played this out already in 'Worldwar'. The choice was... Indianapolis

Of course by that point a lot of other choices had already been taken.


Came here looking for this reference. Loved the WorldWar series.
 
2012-06-24 07:41:34 AM  

gas giant: Amarillo


drove from miami to denver, passing thru amarillo

one of the worst places ive ever seen

that, cincinnati and st louis
 
2012-06-24 07:47:25 AM  
The problems with Los Angeles, Hollywood, San Francisco, San Diego, etc. are but symptoms. The root problem is the state government, the one place where true fiscal conservatives have yet to overtake. So if I were willing to sacrifice a lot of innocent people to fix a major problem, I'd choose Sacramento. However, I'm not. So if these aliens are going to drop a nuke on a US city, and I'm given the choice of which city, I'm given the power of life and death over corrupted people with power and innocents alike, I'd choose the city I'm currently in. Bring it, f*ckers. Nuke my *ass. I'm not going to choose to wipe out a bunch of innocents just to get a few rotten apples. So you're gonna have to drop that bomb on my head, or you can shove it right up your *ss.
 
2012-06-24 08:51:50 AM  
Easy... Philly... goodbye lardass, jerkface Flyers fans
 
2012-06-24 08:52:53 AM  
Why Detroit? Detroit is already wrecked, I sit in my living room; an hour and a half from Detroit, 45 minutes from Flint, 10 minutes from Saginaw, more or less in a straight line. Can I safely hit Flint and get the fall out to kind of give Saginaw a good once over without hitting myself?
 
2012-06-24 08:58:51 AM  

bunner: Fissile: It's not called the "mistake by the lake" for nothing.

Actually, it is for nothing. Brilliant houses, dirt cheap, much lower crime in the neighborhoods than most American cities, cutting edge health care and tech industries and huge financial district. It's called "the mistake on the lake" because somebody thought that it was a clever rhyme and it was repeated ad nauseum by people who think that rhyming things is just terribly clever. Meh. If you haven't been here, I'm sure you think it's a dump and we're sort of fine with that. Please do not move here. It's awful. Give it a very wide berth. Yeah, you wouldn't like CLE. By all means, avoid moving here.


============

According to the US Census Bureau:

From 1960 to 1970 Cleveland lost 14.3% of its population.

From 1970 to 1980 Cleveland lost 23.6% of its population.

From 1980 to 1990 Cleveland lost 11.9% of its population.

From 1990 to 2000 Cleveland lost 5.4% of its population.

From 2000 to 2010 Cleveland lost 17.1% of its population.

CLEVELAND RAWKS!
 
2012-06-24 09:03:36 AM  
i471.photobucket.com

I vote for whatever city Starship claimed to have built on 'rock and roll.'
 
2012-06-24 09:17:18 AM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: exvaxman: Madison, wi
Great fun to visit but so full of crazies it distorts the rest of the state.

All the awful places in this country and you go with MADISON?

The locals have always been freaking awesomely hospitable to me anytime I've been there. Plus my brother works for a company there with a freaking tree fort that still manages to make money.

And beer. How can you nuke all that beer.

/my vote is for Gary, Indiana
//just to put it out of its misery already


I've toured Epic's campus twice and would do it again. That place is amazing. I want to live there. Thir website used to have a much more detailed account of the benefits of working there and tons of pictures of the campus. Sadly, they've taken about 95% of it down. They do still mention the paid sabbaticals every five years though.
 
2012-06-24 09:20:06 AM  

Hector Remarkable: Rochester, NH


my brother would agree with you, if you include Somersworth, NH too. The only place where he was scared of the white people.

/I would say the whole Tricity area, but I have a soft spot for Dover, lived there for a while. Oddly enough, it has gotten nicer since I left. Cowinseedink, I'm not so sure.
 
2012-06-24 09:20:46 AM  
Trona, California.

Because f*ck that place.
 
2012-06-24 09:22:19 AM  
Well, if aliens were invading, even if it were hopeless, I would nuke *them* not a city. However on a normal day I could totally see detonating a few neutron bombs over Seattle and Portland so that the other half of the population of the Pacific Northwest could be saved from being dragged into any more of their bullshiat. No conventional nukes, though, no way in hell. We want the place habitable and soon.
 
2012-06-24 09:37:41 AM  

sid244: Philly

or

Cave-in-rock,IL between August 8th - August 12th of 2012


You have presented an excellent case. I am now fully in favor of Cave-in-Rock on those dates.
 
2012-06-24 09:48:39 AM  

Bugsi: gojirast: Ann Arbor
Isn't she a WHORE?


That is what they tell me.
 
2012-06-24 09:55:56 AM  
Does the WBC have some sort of grand annual event that every member attends? I don't think many people would miss the Phelps clan.



/Sorry, Topeka.
 
2012-06-24 10:30:02 AM  

chandie: sid244: Philly

or

Cave-in-rock,IL between August 8th - August 12th of 2012

You have presented an excellent case. I am now fully in favor of Cave-in-Rock on those dates.


Got my google-fu on and I too vote for a 4 day carpet bombing of Cave-in-rock, Illinois on the dates specified.

/Yeesh
 
2012-06-24 10:40:26 AM  

UnsureSherlock: Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Really pretty much all of Florida can fark right off, but the level of sheer stupidity and the severe lack of situational awareness makes me want to purge those people of this Earth.


Can I at least get 1-2 hours notice to evacuate?
 
2012-06-24 10:46:49 AM  
It be really hard to choose an entire city. But if any place had it coming, it would have to be Tulsa, what with the dynamite dropped from biplanes and all:

i2.photobucket.comwww.tulsareparations.org

Link
 
2012-06-24 11:02:32 AM  

KangTheMad: Camden



My first thought...it would actually do the residents a favor.
 
2012-06-24 12:07:08 PM  
Is Compton, CA a city or just a "hood/bario"?

/Compton... Co Co Co Compton.
 
2012-06-24 01:23:17 PM  

Lorelle: The one with the most Teabaggers.


What's your problem with gays?

MIAppologia: I think we should just choose whichever city happens to have Sarah Palin Nancy Pelosi, NOW, Debbie Wassermann Schutlz, Rachel Maddow in it at the time.


FTFYLA

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Milwaukee, WI

Great fun to visit, but exvaxman and DB/H lives there.


Watch it, son; we have long memories here.

whither_apophis: Las Vegas!

/very biblical ending


Stephen KIng did it.
 
2012-06-24 01:27:43 PM  

mr lawson: Let's just get it over with.
Yellowstone Nat Park
/bury it deep


I don't understand the Fark hatred for Yellowstone Park. I was there last week for the first time and found it to be beautiful and peaceful. The tourists were quiet and respectful of the park and its wild inhabitants. The town of West Yellowstone was not a typical tourist trap, aside from the somewhat overpriced hotels. The souvenir shops had a minimum of garishly colored cheapo items, and the retail staff were friendly and polite. I had a wonderful time and look forward to going back again soon. So am I missing something?
 
2012-06-24 01:41:40 PM  

birdmanesq: I find it interesting that not a single person suggested a city with rightward political leanings noting those politics as the reason for the choice, a stark difference from the several rightwingers who want to target "leftists" and "liberals."


WHAT major city in America (except for maybe SLC) has ''rightward political leanings"?

Since you're not paying attention almost all of the top 50(if not Top 100) are run by Democrats so ipso facto any city chosen has a high probably of being liberal.

And considering how much drubbering conservatives take here at Fark you should just accept the very occassional insult.
 
2012-06-24 02:19:02 PM  

douchebag/hater: WHAT major city in America (except for maybe SLC) has ''rightward political leanings"?


The ones where the economic system is failing. Those are NEVER run by liberals, only by conservatives who used their magical God-powers to trick everyone into thinking they were liberal all along.

/liberal economics never fail
//because if they fail, they were actually conservative
 
2012-06-24 02:30:03 PM  

bunner:
Actually, it is for nothing. Brilliant houses, dirt cheap, much lower crime in the neighborhoods than most American cities, cutting edge health care and tech industries and huge financial district. It's called "the mistake on the lake" because somebody thought that it was a clever rhyme and it was repeated ad nauseum by people who think that rhyming things is just terribly clever. Meh. If you haven't been here, I'm sure you think it's a dump and we're sort of fine with that. Please do not move here. It's awful. Give it a very wide berth. Yeah, you wouldn't like CLE. By all means, avoid moving here.



I know CLE gets a lot of flack and perhaps much of it is undeserved but this is this exact attitude that rubs visitors the wrong way. The only people I seem to encounter who actually like Cleveland were born here. The people in Cleveland and to a lesser degree all of Ohio have this over inflated sense of how awesome they are. They also seem to automatically get defensive about it when they meet people who are from out of the area even if the subject isn't brought up.

You Clevelanders would do well to gain a little modesty and be a bit more accepting of people who were not born in the area because there really are a lot of good qualities about Cleveland. I think what you guys need most is an attitude adjustment and to again the ability to appreciate that there are other awesome places aside from Ohio.
 
2012-06-24 03:18:57 PM  

Torok: You Clevelanders would do well to gain a little modesty and be a bit more accepting of people who were not born in the area because there really are a lot of good qualities about Cleveland.


a): Your sarcasm meter is broken.

b): That applies to every person from every city in every state because that whole "WE'RE better than *insert other place here*" rah rah 20 years of malarkey is broadly bought and sold on every place on earth, especially in America. It keeps sports teams and politicians in business and flogs that American as apple pie sense of urgency about our respective self-worth that we can't wait to fluff up because of our zip code.

c): We DO have good housing stock at amazing prices, we DO have an cutting edge health care industry and financial and IT concerns and GREAT park systems, the country's second largest theatre district and a WONDERFUL orchestra, but all of that is readily overlooked by people parroting the decades old, clapped out CLE jokes. Hence the sarcastic "Please don't move here". Please DO move here if you can be a good citizen. We have more than our share of douchebags and we don't need any more. That's also every other city in America.

d): I've lived a few other places. They are also widely over and under rated for various shortcomings and achievements. What I am trying to say is - the ghetto is how, not where you live, and can be easily installed in any location. Come to Cleveland. Hang out. Buy a 700,000.00 home for 200,000.00. Pay your taxes. Picnic in the Metroparks. But skip the whole "z0mg teh clevelanz, haw!" fandango. We've heard the jokes.
 
2012-06-24 03:20:21 PM  
20 yards of malarkey., Sorry.
 
2012-06-24 04:04:06 PM  
American city? That means a city in North, South or Central America.

Mexico City, Sao Paulo, Medellin perhaps?

Mexico City for the win.

/Why do people always think America means USA?
 
2012-06-24 04:51:50 PM  

flagrante: American city? That means a city in North, South or Central America.

Mexico City, Sao Paulo, Medellin perhaps?

Mexico City for the win.

/Why do people always think America means USA?


Entirely because of how Americans represent their knowledge of geography. At some point we all got tired of pointing at maps and correcting people. Though you're correct that people do it, it is entirely the fault of U.S. Americans.
 
2012-06-24 05:30:21 PM  

flagrante: /Why do people always think America means USA?



I'm sorry, exactly who thinks that? Americans?
 
2012-06-24 05:35:00 PM  

flagrante: American city? That means a city in North, South or Central America.

Mexico City, Sao Paulo, Medellin perhaps?

Mexico City for the win.

/Why do people always think America means USA?


Good point. If I were forced to nuke an American city, I would look for a Venezuela-sized loophole.
 
2012-06-24 05:40:56 PM  
D.C
 
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