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(Wikia)   You're the president of Earth. Aliens invade and demand that you nuke one American city. Which city do you choose? Difficulty: no Detroit   ( divider line
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8385 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2012 at 4:19 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-06-23 08:00:34 PM  
Phoenix Metro area. We wouldn't even notice the temperature change.
2012-06-23 08:03:21 PM  
during the next joint session of congress, announce that sarah palin and michelle bachmann are having a joint tea party rally on the Mall, announcing that they are running for president.
Announce that there will be free ammo and rifles given out to the first million attendants.

At the same time, announce that the 1% need to register in person to get their next GIANT tax cut.

good bye problems
hello heaven on earth
2012-06-23 08:03:49 PM  
Augusta, GA.

That is all.
2012-06-23 08:04:55 PM  
And nobody's mentioned Boulder, CO yet?
2012-06-23 08:05:19 PM  
Columbus, OH--farkin' Buckeyes
2012-06-23 08:05:24 PM  

But we'll put up a toll booth to slow them down.
2012-06-23 08:05:59 PM  
Seaside Heights, NJ.
It solves so many other problems at once.
2012-06-23 08:07:52 PM  
Only one? Fark you alien bastards.
2012-06-23 08:09:46 PM  
Washington, D.C. Easiest decision ever.
2012-06-23 08:11:22 PM  
Memphis. Because ef em
2012-06-23 08:18:20 PM  

gojirast: Ann Arbor.

Seconded. Fark Ann Arbor. In a verrry close second place is San Francisco.
2012-06-23 08:19:44 PM  
Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Really pretty much all of Florida can fark right off, but the level of sheer stupidity and the severe lack of situational awareness makes me want to purge those people of this Earth.
2012-06-23 08:23:31 PM

Las Vegas... great. What next? Seattle!

/Wait, I only needed one? Oops.
//Incidentally, Stephen Falken's account was removed 39 years ago today.
2012-06-23 08:23:35 PM  
Tifton, Georgia.

Because fark Tifton, Georgia.
2012-06-23 08:27:04 PM  
Denver. Pricks, the lot of them.
2012-06-23 08:27:24 PM  
New York City....where else could you get rid of so may self-absorbed a**holes at one time.
2012-06-23 08:28:25 PM  
Has anyone mentioned Colorado Springs yet?
2012-06-23 08:29:38 PM  

tolallorti: Not sure if it has been said, but Sun City, Arizona or Scottsdale, Arizona. So long as Phoenix is safe fark those two places

And Sedona. Make sure Sedona and the surrounding area/sweat lodge farm/new age retreat area gets hit too.
2012-06-23 08:31:49 PM  
I wouldn't take out all of New York City. Just Staten Island. That'll show the Mafia.
2012-06-23 08:34:17 PM  

/ vile pustule on the face of earth, nightmareville
2012-06-23 08:35:24 PM  
All this talk about nuking an American city?

Terrerists, the whole lot of you!
2012-06-23 08:35:24 PM  
Instead of a city, I suggest a precision bombing of a Perkin's Restaurant somewhere in the Midwest that had the absolute worst collection of assholes on the planet working in the kitchen...
2012-06-23 08:35:59 PM  

Lorelle: The one with the most Teabaggers.

The one with the most people that hate Teabaggers.
2012-06-23 08:36:55 PM  
Wash D.C. but I get to stipulate that congress,senate and the SCOTUS are all in session at the time.
2012-06-23 08:38:03 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: chuckufarlie: Solid Muldoon: Jerusalem.

It would solve a lot of problems.

this from a bonehead who thinks that Jerusalem in in the USA.

Homie said he'd have to go outside of the US for his choice. He didn't say Jerusalem was in the US. And................ wouldn't it?

the requirements were for a city in the USA and homie said no such thing.

No, destroying Jerusalem would NOT solve a lot of problems. IT would probably cause more problems.
2012-06-23 08:39:23 PM  

Tumunga: Lorelle: The one with the most Teabaggers.

The one with the most people that hate Teabaggers.

Fark is a collective of all over, you can't just obliterate a virtual place silly.
2012-06-23 08:40:36 PM  
2012-06-23 08:40:56 PM  
How about Redmond, Washington?

/imagine no more Windows
//it's easy if you try
2012-06-23 08:41:04 PM  
Atlanta, unless the ND-UM game is being played in South Bend, then South Bend.
2012-06-23 08:42:06 PM  
Where is the Republican convention this year?
2012-06-23 08:48:06 PM  
I'd want to nuke San Francisco because I hate hippies, yuppies and freaks, but then there'd be no more Anchor Steam, so I guess we'd have to fix the mistake by the lake and nuke Cleveland.
2012-06-23 08:49:46 PM  
Mecca. Wait, American city? shiat.

Dallas. Then I would nuke a dozen or so major cities in other countries, including Mecca and Moscow, but I would ensure that China was completely untouched, and I would deny all knowledge of what had happened. For the lulz.
2012-06-23 08:50:57 PM  

CokeBear: Where is the Republican convention this year?

Either there, or Phoenix, Arizona.
2012-06-23 08:51:37 PM  
DC..... No long as Congress is in session.....and then go profusely thank the Aliens.
2012-06-23 08:52:26 PM  

CokeBear: Where is the Republican convention this year?

2012-06-23 08:53:09 PM  

Communist_Manifesto: Gillette, Wyoming or Roswell, New Mexico. Those are the 2 most depressing places I have ever been.

As much as i would hate to nuke my home state, gillette is a good call. grim as hell and you'd likely take out devil's tower where the aliens gather. A lot of good coal would be lost.
2012-06-23 08:55:10 PM  

Optimus Composite: I'd want to nuke San Francisco because I hate hippies, yuppies and freaks, but then there'd be no more Anchor Steam, so I guess we'd have to fix the mistake by the lake and nuke Cleveland.

Anyway, don'y be a dumbass - any choice must be on the East Coast so that prevailing winds will carry the fallout off the continent. Nuking all those gays in Frisco would pall a bit when the radiation cloud drops in the Bible belt, where all the shiatty white trash would have to eat it.
I nominate Fayetteville - it's full of jarheads and other coonts.
2012-06-23 08:56:52 PM  


You'll be doing humanity a favor

You guys naming west coast targets are really stupid - or self-loathing. One or the other.
2012-06-23 08:58:15 PM  
choice: Dallas, Texas. Don't tell *me* who the mess with.
2nd choice: Washington DC, with ground zero being K street and all the farking lobbyists. That way I get the scumbag politicians and their handlers!
2012-06-23 09:01:34 PM  
Nameless, Tennessee.
2012-06-23 09:02:25 PM  

Ebenator: This one. Cleveland is a dump and very few Americans would miss it. [ image 640x480]

Drew Carey frowns upon you shenanigans.
2012-06-23 09:04:54 PM  

Hobodeluxe: Wash D.C. but I get to stipulate that congress,senate and the SCOTUS are all in session at the time.

As well as the present administration.
2012-06-23 09:05:20 PM  
Chicago. But there should be an 'oops' clause so you can nuke Detroit, DC and NYC.
2012-06-23 09:05:33 PM  

birdmanesq: I find it interesting that not a single person suggested a city with rightward political leanings noting those politics as the reason for the choice, a stark difference from the several rightwingers who want to target "leftists" and "liberals."


The only large American cities that voted for McCain are Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Virginia Beach and Jacksonville, FL. Bombing either of them does not really have cachet. Other cities are in Republican counties whose suburban residents outpopulate the Democratic city-dwellers; bombing Dallas or Fort Worth would get more Democrats than Republicans.
2012-06-23 09:05:43 PM  
Anchorage, Alaska. Fark those greedy bastards.
2012-06-23 09:05:49 PM  
If I'm in the US at the time, any city I'm not in; the rest of the time, who gives a shiat?
2012-06-23 09:06:12 PM  
Canada, definitely Canada
2012-06-23 09:07:13 PM  
I find it Farkish that every city named is famous for forward-thinking politics or being full of black people.
2012-06-23 09:09:15 PM  

Kyoki: Either Birmingham, Alabama [...]

Give me six hours notice to hop the next flight to San Francisco, and you can have it. I'm so sick of the rednecks and the bible-thumping skypilots. Besides, given the state of some parts of the Birmingham metro, it could count as urban renewal.
2012-06-23 09:11:28 PM  

OneNightStand: NYC, DC, SF, LA, Miami and any/all city(ies) in Oregon.

/Oh, and telaran, be sure to stay up there and watch for the bright light

Bite me. I kinda like Oregon. We can kick it back to CT for ya. One nuke in Oregon will take out maybe a county, it'll take out your whole state, and of what use is it anyway other than MA's biatch?

/nothing like some east/west hate while the fly over states things fly over.
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