Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Patch)   Starting your day off by downing a six-pack of beer in a grocery store parking lot is a good indicator the rest of the day is likely to go downhill   (dacula.patch.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, parking lots, car theft, technical indicator, I-85, Bible college, Gwinnett County, Austin Briscoe  
•       •       •

4536 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2012 at 12:42 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2012-06-23 12:38:41 PM  
Says you.
 
2012-06-23 12:43:32 PM  
Things are just starting to look up.
 
2012-06-23 12:43:43 PM  
Drinking that early is great because you can get drunk, pass out, wake up and get drunk again -- twice, on the same day!
 
2012-06-23 12:47:04 PM  

urban.derelict: Drinking that early is great because you can get drunk, pass out, wake up and get drunk again -- twice, on the same day!


This. It's even better with a side of wake n bake.
 
2012-06-23 12:47:31 PM  
But then, those who don't, when they wake up, that's as good as they are going to feel all day.
 
2012-06-23 12:48:09 PM  
22 years old and getting drunk at 8am? Acceptable if you're in Daytona during Spring Break and surrounded by a crew of other young delinquents. Doing it by yourself in bumfark, Georgia? Not so much. Sad that someone's life could be that farked at that young an age.
 
2012-06-23 12:49:06 PM  

No Budweiser, no cry.


NO BUDWEISER, NO CRY!


o1.aolcdn.com

 
2012-06-23 12:49:12 PM  
greenobles.com
 
2012-06-23 12:49:13 PM  
Subby,

The report stated the man was drinking Bud Ice. It said nothing about beer.

RTFA.
 
2012-06-23 12:51:03 PM  
I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.

Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.
 
2012-06-23 12:51:10 PM  
On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.

Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.
 
2012-06-23 12:51:43 PM  

Shaggy_C: 22 years old and getting drunk at 8am? Acceptable if you're in Daytona during Spring Break and surrounded by a crew of other young delinquents. Doing it by yourself in bumfark, Georgia? Not so much. Sad that someone's life could be that farked at that young an age.


yeah, sad life. and while the homeless guy was obviously in the wrong, i couldn't help but feel sad that now his car is impounded and his dogs are in the animal shelter. everyone loses?
 
2012-06-23 12:51:45 PM  
"8 AM in the morning"......as opposed to 8 AM happening some other time of the day?
 
2012-06-23 12:52:02 PM  
I only down the first one in the parking lot. The rest I finish off on the drive home, so I'm good.
 
2012-06-23 12:52:07 PM  
Sounds like yesterday. Should I not have done that?
 
2012-06-23 12:53:58 PM  
This would have been such an awesome story. You've got a dude being forever immortalized on the internet drinking Bud Ice, the Marley wannabe mugshot, the free will nonsense lines at the end. But the dogs thing really ruins it for me. Animal cruelty. Those poor guys will probably get put down, and given the lives they are living with this homeless douchebag thief, that's probably the merciful thing to do.

Don't get pets if you can't afford them.
 
2012-06-23 12:57:00 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.

Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.


What the hell are you talking about? Alcoholism is what sets us apart from the animals. Well, except for the African Drinking Spider, but still.
 
2012-06-23 01:06:22 PM  
WhippingBoy
AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.
Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.
What the hell are you talking about? Alcoholism is what sets us apart from the animals. Well, except for the African Drinking Spider, but still.


Prior art:
Link
 
2012-06-23 01:10:17 PM  

Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.

Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.


After trying to read your post, I'm guessing that you're a problem drinker.

Lurk sober post drunk: and while the homeless guy was obviously in the wrong, i couldn't help but feel sad that now his car is impounded and his dogs are in the animal shelter. everyone loses?


Pretty much what I was thinking. The guy probably isn't going to be able to afford to get his car out of the impound lot or get his dogs out of the animal shelter. So, the guy will probably lose his car and the dogs will more than likely get euthanized. Oh well, at least some cop got to be "tough on crime".
 
2012-06-23 01:13:29 PM  
Where I'm from, asleep drunk with keys in ignition = DUI.
 
2012-06-23 01:16:00 PM  
You need some Fritos with that beer to balance things out, improve your day.
 
2012-06-23 01:18:09 PM  
PacManDreaming
Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.
Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.


I suppose if you want to start pulling out the newer MADD based definitions, I could be defined as one. Otherwise not.
 
2012-06-23 01:18:57 PM  

Shaggy_C: 22 years old and getting drunk at 8am? Acceptable if you're in Daytona during Spring Break and surrounded by a crew of other young delinquents. Doing it by yourself in bumfark, Georgia? Not so much. Sad that someone's life could be that farked at that young an age.


AverageAmericanGuy: Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.


lh6.googleusercontent.com

/22! LEGALLY OLD ENOUGH TO F*CKING DRINK, WHENEVER HE F*CKING WANTS
//go beat your own f*cking kids ffs
 
2012-06-23 01:25:01 PM  
A 6 pack gets people intoxicated?
 
2012-06-23 01:25:40 PM  
shiat, if I'm fishing, I've had a 6 pack down before 8. Of course, I've been up since 3, I'm not homeless, and neither are my dogs.
 
2012-06-23 01:27:17 PM  

Professczar: Subby,

The report stated the man was drinking Bud Ice. It said nothing about beer.

RTFA.


static.grindtv.com

aussie for BEER@!
 
2012-06-23 01:27:18 PM  
Homeless people should not have pets.
 
2012-06-23 01:31:41 PM  

Enemabag Jones: PacManDreaming
Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.
Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.

I suppose if you want to start pulling out the newer MADD based definitions, I could be defined as one. Otherwise not.


You mean "Have you ever had a drink ever?" "Did you enjoy it?"

/And thanks for the drunken monkeys!
 
2012-06-23 01:34:56 PM  

Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian: "8 AM in the morning"......as opposed to 8 AM happening some other time of the day?


8 A.M. is early evening in the southern hemisphere, they're just covering their asses in the event that an Australian reads this article.
/true story
 
2012-06-23 01:36:23 PM  

malaktaus: Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian: "8 AM in the morning"......as opposed to 8 AM happening some other time of the day?

8 A.M. is early evening in the southern hemisphere, they're just covering their asses in the event that an Australian reads this article.
/true story


g'day mate care for some VEGETMITE
 
2012-06-23 01:40:45 PM  

Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.

Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.


In New York, (or at least Erie County) you can't buy alcohol until eight AM. I worked third shift, and I would get out of work at 7:30a, then I would go pick out beer. Most of the time, I would roll up to the register just after 8:01a... sometimes, I'd get in a few minutes early by their clock, and I would have to wait, letting people pass me by. I was working third shift for a few years, and let me tell you, people don't look at you thinking 'Oh, he just got off a long day of work and he wants a beer or two to finish out his day", ESPECIALLY when you rode your bike to work (it's a nice night, why not, right?)
 
2012-06-23 01:42:46 PM  

rosonowski: Enemabag Jones: I used to buy a six-pack of beer when I would get my third shift job at about 7am, usually on a Friday.

Guessing the above isn't the person above as I didn't down it in the parking lot. Just don't assume that someone buying booze or even drinking during the day is a problem drinker.

In New York, (or at least Erie County) you can't buy alcohol until eight AM. I worked third shift, and I would get out of work at 7:30a, then I would go pick out beer. Most of the time, I would roll up to the register just after 8:01a... sometimes, I'd get in a few minutes early by their clock, and I would have to wait, letting people pass me by. I was working third shift for a few years, and let me tell you, people don't look at you thinking 'Oh, he just got off a long day of work and he wants a beer or two to finish out his day", ESPECIALLY when you rode your bike to work (it's a nice night, why not, right?)


how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle
isn't that dangerous
 
2012-06-23 01:52:04 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle


www.geekologie.com
 
2012-06-23 01:55:28 PM  
GIS for 'bicycle beer' turns up several gems:

drinkbeerridebikes.files.wordpress.com

www.instablogsimages.com

ruedatropical.com
 
2012-06-23 02:01:21 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle


Well, I did it with a backpack, but those are some other ways to go about it... think most people looked at me like 'Oh, he's an alcoholic who lost his liscence', not 'Oh, he's burning off those beer calories ahead of time'.
 
2012-06-23 02:02:05 PM  

dalovindj: Jon iz teh kewl: how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle

[www.geekologie.com image 450x450]


Now that is AWESOME!
 
2012-06-23 02:04:50 PM  
If you don't have someone to do it with it's not worth doing...

munchkinwrangler.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-23 02:10:01 PM  
Well I woke up this morning, I got myself a beer

/the futures uncertain, the end is always near
//let it roll baby roll
 
2012-06-23 02:23:37 PM  
When I woke up this morning
Things were lookin' bad
Seemed like total silence
Was the only friend I had

A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down
And won

It was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having
No fun

Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.
 
2012-06-23 02:45:42 PM  
I generally wake up at 7...play some poker online until the beer store opens at 9...grab 6 16oz cans, finish three in alleys back home...finish the other three playing poker until the bus to the casino, more poker and free beer at senaca niagara...come home at 11, smoke a joint and go to bed...you farkers enjoy your cubicles!
 
2012-06-23 03:12:34 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.

Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.


re alcoholism, maybe so. but where's there's Fark there's snark.
 
2012-06-23 03:17:08 PM  

urban.derelict: Drinking that early is great because you can get drunk, pass out, wake up and get drunk again -- twice, on the same day!


It's always interesting to be drunk in the afternoon on a weekday and see normal people in their every day lives, at least I think so.
 
2012-06-23 03:36:10 PM  

The Smails Kid: When I woke up this morning
Things were lookin' bad
Seemed like total silence
Was the only friend I had

A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down
And won

It was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having
No fun

Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.


Pretty sure that song's about weed, but love me some Prine, so I'm happy either way.

I feel for the bastard. Homeless, doesn't have much, but got a car, dogs, and at least a couple worldly possessions. Cop comes by and makes it all go away with the snap of his fingers. Car's impounded, worldly goods impounded, dogs impounded. 189 bucks gone. I'm sure that's quite a bit of money for him. Bad farking day.
I feel for him.
 
2012-06-23 03:45:10 PM  

rosonowski: Jon iz teh kewl: how do you carry a beer while riding a bicycle

Well, I did it with a backpack, but those are some other ways to go about it... think most people looked at me like 'Oh, he's an alcoholic who lost his liscence', not 'Oh, he's burning off those beer calories ahead of time'.


all i can say is HA HA i don't work at a crummy supermarket!!
 
2012-06-23 04:05:59 PM  
DNRTFA.. Sounds like we may an amateur on our hands. Anyone on Fark care comment?
 
2012-06-23 04:13:25 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, I feel uncomfortable with the way we Farkers seem to glamorize alcoholism.

Its a serious problem. Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs.


As an alcoholic I agree but you gotta admit that the shiat that we get up to when we drink is pretty funny. And as others have said, "where there's fark there's snarl".
 
2012-06-23 04:14:07 PM  

kidsizedcoffin: A 6 pack gets people intoxicated?


Bud Ice has a slightly higher alcohol content than regular Budweiser (5.5% vs. 5.0%) so a six pack of Bud Ice is like drinking 6.6 regular Budweisers. It's that extra 0.6 that really gets you.

Beer Calculator
 
2012-06-23 05:01:27 PM  
I can understand the situation. You wake up, find $4.39 in your shorts and decide that it might be nice to have a beer. You look around and you're in your car with your dogs and they are happy and ready to take on the day. So you drive your car to the Publix and sure enough they have beer. You try to purchase just one cold one, and they say you have to buy the whole 6 pack. Ok, give them the $4.39.
Well, the other 5 beers are going to go bad if you don't drink them now so you proceed.
Dog needs to pee, don't want that in the car so out they go.
/Cop shows up, and that's how it went
 
2012-06-23 05:26:50 PM  
the cheapest beer around here is $4.49 and that's BEFORE tax
 
2012-06-23 07:18:05 PM  
Trance750:

Trance750, I just want you to know I farking hate you right now. Every GODDAM CHRISTMAS the wife cranks up the radio for that song, and right now I have those two lines stuck in my head, not just repeating, but repeating in Dan Farking Folgeberg's voice. I hate you, rot in hell.

/Can't believe no one else hates him and that song as much as I do.
/Grew up in the 70's
/Also forced to listen to "Rumours"
 
Displayed 50 of 51 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report