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(Cracked)   The 14 worst boobs in the history of video games. Well ok, 28 if you want to be technical   (cracked.com) divider line 70
    More: Obvious, orchids, hr giger, Duke Nukem Forever, peeps, quantum Hall effect, Oppenheimer, boobs, satellite dish  
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14555 clicks; posted to Geek » on 22 Jun 2012 at 1:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-22 12:45:53 PM
*Checks list for Ivy from Soul Calibur*

Yep, list is OK
 
2012-06-22 01:40:21 PM
*Checks list for me.*

Wow, I forgot about them being that sharp. :*
 
2012-06-22 01:50:50 PM
Did you RTFA, subby? It's 14 because there are seven women listed.
 
2012-06-22 01:52:55 PM
i.crackedcdn.com

24.media.tumblr.com

"Well, that squares my breasts!"

/hot like an overheating robot
 
2012-06-22 01:54:03 PM
Relevant for multiple reasons:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-22 02:00:06 PM
Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?
 
2012-06-22 02:07:51 PM

sexy-fetus: Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?


cause the effort that went into meticulously rendering the bounce of a characters tits could have easily went into improving the product elsewhere? For example the Shiat hit boxes that have long since plagued the Soul series since Calibur II
 
2012-06-22 02:09:06 PM
That list is a goddamn mess.

Author needs to decide if they want to poke fun at terrible renders of boobs, or biatch about sexism in video games.
 
2012-06-22 02:09:38 PM
NIPPLES DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!!!
media.giantbomb.com

Always bothered me as a kid.
 
2012-06-22 02:16:43 PM
There are only seven women in the list subby. Even martians only have three.
 
2012-06-22 02:20:24 PM
Also came to yell at subby for lack of reading comprehension/math skillz.
 
2012-06-22 02:20:25 PM

Girion47: NIPPLES DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!!!
[media.giantbomb.com image 506x470]

Always bothered me as a kid.


I know what you mean. Fulgore's nipples should be much larger.
 
2012-06-22 02:20:56 PM

Subtle_Canary: sexy-fetus: Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?

cause the effort that went into meticulously rendering the bounce of a characters tits could have easily went into improving the product elsewhere? For example the Shiat hit boxes that have long since plagued the Soul series since Calibur II


That's what lens flair is for.
 
2012-06-22 02:21:56 PM
Ivy cosplay coming in 4...3...oh what the hell I'll post it myself:

i16.photobucket.com

Thank you, BelleChere
 
2012-06-22 02:22:32 PM

ms_lara_croft: *Checks list for me.*

Wow, I forgot about them being that sharp. :*


I once made a friend do a spit take when I told him the the boob evolution in Tomb Raider was basically the Britney Spears version of Moore's Law.
 
2012-06-22 02:23:32 PM

sexy-fetus: Subtle_Canary: sexy-fetus: Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?

cause the effort that went into meticulously rendering the bounce of a characters tits could have easily went into improving the product elsewhere? For example the Shiat hit boxes that have long since plagued the Soul series since Calibur II

That's what lens flair is for.


What's Liz Phair got to do with this?
 
2012-06-22 02:27:08 PM

degenerate-afro: There are only seven women in the list subby. Even martiansMUTANTS only have three.


FTFY
 
2012-06-22 02:31:19 PM

sexy-fetus: Subtle_Canary: sexy-fetus: Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?

cause the effort that went into meticulously rendering the bounce of a characters tits could have easily went into improving the product elsewhere? For example the Shiat hit boxes that have long since plagued the Soul series since Calibur II

That's what lens flair is for.


jumpingpolarbear.files.wordpress.com

What does Ric have to do with this?
 
2012-06-22 02:31:29 PM
I like boobs.
 
2012-06-22 02:33:42 PM

Girion47: NIPPLES DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!!!
[media.giantbomb.com image 506x470]


Sometimes they do (NSFW)
 
2012-06-22 02:35:26 PM

sexy-fetus: Subtle_Canary: sexy-fetus: Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?

cause the effort that went into meticulously rendering the bounce of a characters tits could have easily went into improving the product elsewhere? For example the Shiat hit boxes that have long since plagued the Soul series since Calibur II

That's what lens flair is for.


What does renn faire have to do with this?
 
2012-06-22 02:37:32 PM

buckler: Girion47: NIPPLES DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!!!
[media.giantbomb.com image 506x470]

Sometimes they do (NSFW)


Woah. She needs to see a doctor. Seriously, she does not look well.
 
2012-06-22 02:44:43 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: sexy-fetus: Subtle_Canary: sexy-fetus: Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?

cause the effort that went into meticulously rendering the bounce of a characters tits could have easily went into improving the product elsewhere? For example the Shiat hit boxes that have long since plagued the Soul series since Calibur II

That's what lens flair is for.

[jumpingpolarbear.files.wordpress.com image 640x375]

What does Ric have to do with this?


www4.images.coolspotters.com

What does Bic have to do with this?
 
2012-06-22 02:46:53 PM
FTA: "Rare launched Killer Instinct when digitized graphics were so cool, games didn't need anything else -- like graphics worth digitizing."


Killer Instinct wasn't digitized; the characters were CGI. Mortal Kombat had digitized human actors.
 
2012-06-22 02:53:00 PM

Sgt Otter: FTA: "Rare launched Killer Instinct when digitized graphics were so cool, games didn't need anything else -- like graphics worth digitizing."


Killer Instinct wasn't digitized; the characters were CGI. Mortal Kombat had digitized human actors.


Can you imagine them asking the actor to get ready for the 80-hit, 100 to 0 combo move?
 
2012-06-22 02:56:07 PM
I presume John Romero is #1?

;)
 
2012-06-22 02:56:15 PM

Some 'Splainin' To Do: ms_lara_croft: *Checks list for me.*

Wow, I forgot about them being that sharp. :*

I once made a friend do a spit take when I told him the the boob evolution in Tomb Raider was basically the Britney Spears version of Moore's Law.


LOL True, but I've gotten smaller over the past two games.
 
2012-06-22 02:58:17 PM

Jackpot777: Jim from Saint Paul: sexy-fetus: Subtle_Canary: sexy-fetus: Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?

cause the effort that went into meticulously rendering the bounce of a characters tits could have easily went into improving the product elsewhere? For example the Shiat hit boxes that have long since plagued the Soul series since Calibur II

That's what lens flair is for.

[jumpingpolarbear.files.wordpress.com image 640x375]

What does Ric have to do with this?

[www4.images.coolspotters.com image 300x300]

What does Bic have to do with this?



hardcandy.hardcandymusicco.netdna-cdn.com

What's love got to do, go to do with it?
 
2012-06-22 03:30:13 PM
So the author hates boobs. Alright...
 
2012-06-22 03:35:08 PM

Chunks McGunks: So the author hates boobs. Alright...


If you think those are boobs, you obviously have never seen a real woman naked. Baloon-titty porn-stars would be ashamed to be seen with those things
 
2012-06-22 03:43:14 PM

palelizard: sexy-fetus: Subtle_Canary: sexy-fetus: Went from plain bad renders to I hate boobs pretty quick.
How could you hate fighting game boob physics and be perfectly fine with having several attacks that launch your opponent 20' in the air?

cause the effort that went into meticulously rendering the bounce of a characters tits could have easily went into improving the product elsewhere? For example the Shiat hit boxes that have long since plagued the Soul series since Calibur II

That's what lens flair is for.

What does renn faire have to do with this?


Ren Faire = Boobies, So I think they have some connections.

I really don't think the VG Boobs exist because the designers are immature. I do think they are all Rob Liefeld fans though.
 
2012-06-22 03:55:30 PM
List fails without Custer's Revenge.
 
2012-06-22 04:01:27 PM

phalamir: Chunks McGunks: So the author hates boobs. Alright...

If you think those are boobs, you obviously have never seen a real woman naked. Baloon-titty porn-stars would be ashamed to be seen with those things


It's funny that the digital tits still look and act far more realistically than the silicone jugs in real life.

The article author sure does enjoy taking everything that has females in it and going off on ranting crusades about how evil and terrible they are to women.
 
2012-06-22 04:47:04 PM
Wait, people have a problem with Ivy and Kasumi's boobs? Really?

www.neonpunch.com
 
2012-06-22 04:55:31 PM
Also kinda surprised Sonia from Ninja Gaiden II didn't make the list. They were monsters

www.oxmonline.com
 
2012-06-22 04:59:14 PM

Abner Doon: That list is a goddamn mess.

Author needs to decide if they want to poke fun at terrible renders of boobs, or biatch about sexism in video games.


Yes, because there's only one possible way to define "worst boobs".
 
2012-06-22 05:06:18 PM

PillsHere: Wait, people have a problem with Ivy and Kasumi's boobs? Really?

[www.neonpunch.com image 450x483]


I don't know who that is, but that outfit looks terribly inefficient for pretty much anything.
 
2012-06-22 05:14:30 PM

palelizard: PillsHere: Wait, people have a problem with Ivy and Kasumi's boobs? Really?

[www.neonpunch.com image 450x483]

I don't know who that is, but that outfit looks terribly inefficient for pretty much anything.


What about showing your boobs? It seems pretty efficient at doing that
 
2012-06-22 05:17:50 PM

PillsHere: Wait, people have a problem with Ivy and Kasumi's boobs? Really?

[www.neonpunch.com image 450x483]


I'm afraid that this would be the NEW Jade from Beyond Good and Evil 2?
 
2012-06-22 05:32:58 PM
Can't even believe Duke Nukem 3D didn't make the list

cache.gawkerassets.com

The NSFW if your boss is offended by super large pixels version
 
2012-06-22 05:41:40 PM
My wife's repsonse to the article:
Black Orchid: Those are pretty bad. Boobs don't look like that.
Katsumi: Really? What are wrong with those? I don't have a problem with 'em...
Cortana: Eh, maybe...
Rayne: Why are there pixels on that one?
Lara Croft: Very Madonna.
Guy Game: Attention whores aren't attractive
Ivy: Really? This list is crap. Who the hell would have a problem with Ivy?
 
2012-06-22 05:53:20 PM

Teufelaffe: Abner Doon: That list is a goddamn mess.

Author needs to decide if they want to poke fun at terrible renders of boobs, or biatch about sexism in video games.

Yes, because there's only one possible way to define "worst boobs".


Well, the complaint in the first one is that the boobs are terribly rendered, that's seems pretty straight-forward, the next one, the boobs are too good? What the hell? That's not worst boobs, that's just sexism in video games (according to the list author, I don't really care either way). Make another list if you wanna biatch about that, it has nothing to do with the title of the list or the previous entry.

Then the next one, the complaint seems to be that that character has boobs? I guess? They don't seem noticably ridiculous or overemphasized, so who gives a shiat?

I stopped reading there, since the list author just didn't seem to have any interesting or even coherent point they were trying to make, and the entries weren't funny or interesting.
 
2012-06-22 05:54:50 PM

Virtual Pariah: PillsHere: Wait, people have a problem with Ivy and Kasumi's boobs? Really?

[www.neonpunch.com image 450x483]

I'm afraid that this would be the NEW Jade from Beyond Good and Evil 2?


They are making a new Beyond good and evil? may have to dl the original and play it again.

For those that have always wanted to play with Kasumi NSFW
 
2012-06-22 06:05:05 PM

Abner Doon: Teufelaffe: Abner Doon: That list is a goddamn mess.

Author needs to decide if they want to poke fun at terrible renders of boobs, or biatch about sexism in video games.

Yes, because there's only one possible way to define "worst boobs".

Well, the complaint in the first one is that the boobs are terribly rendered, that's seems pretty straight-forward, the next one, the boobs are too good? What the hell? That's not worst boobs, that's just sexism in video games (according to the list author, I don't really care either way). Make another list if you wanna biatch about that, it has nothing to do with the title of the list or the previous entry.

Then the next one, the complaint seems to be that that character has boobs? I guess? They don't seem noticably ridiculous or overemphasized, so who gives a shiat?

I stopped reading there, since the list author just didn't seem to have any interesting or even coherent point they were trying to make, and the entries weren't funny or interesting.


Luke McKinney loves doing articles where he rails against the sexism and exploitation of women in every form of media, no matter how tenuous it is. You should read his comic book articles.
 
2012-06-22 06:22:04 PM

scottydoesntknow: Also kinda surprised Sonia from Ninja Gaiden II didn't make the list. They were monsters

[www.oxmonline.com image 404x227]



Some of the monsters in the NG Xbox series were kinda...meh, this is some wierd Japanese animator's fetish for tentacles.... Then I saw Sonia's boobs and thought... "yeah...Japanese animators are just horny 12 year olds trapped in an adult body."
 
2012-06-22 06:29:58 PM
Freak Out for PS2.

image.com.com
 
2012-06-22 06:54:54 PM
Pleased with the inclusion of Killer Instinct.
 
2012-06-22 07:13:28 PM

lithappens: Katsumi: Really? What are wrong with those? I don't have a problem with 'em...


I'm guessing she hasn't seen the actual gameplay where they bounce around like water balloons.
 
2012-06-22 07:20:39 PM
Am I the only person who sees the V in the cleavage for the SC5 ads? I thought it was hilarious self-deprecation on the part of the company =P A "Yes, she's still here. She's still naked. Anti-drug ads told us not to change what we are to be cool. Assholes" kind of statement. That or fully embracing the complete absurdity of the outfit.

Then again, I'm a big fan of camp.
 
2012-06-22 07:46:06 PM

Gordon Bennett: Freak Out for PS2.

[image.com.com image 594x449]


AKA Stretch Panic.
 
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