unicron702: CSB:

Our Valedictorian had this speech, more or less:

"I think, therefore I am. If that we're true, 90% of you wouldn't be here. You did nothing, sacrificed nothing, achieved nothing to be sitting there. You will accomplish nothing and I will laugh."

Then just walked off stage and asked for security to escort him to his car. Don't know what he did after that, but it probably involved hiding in his house until college.

Wow.

I'm so glad I got over academic perfection in middle school. I actually lived some semblance of a life, and still got a partial scholarship to Syracuse and work in Manhattan now.

Perspective is a wonderous thing. Also, I actually (infrequently) got laid. So... that was a bonus.

One of the most important things you can learn is that the harder you work, the more likely you'll end up not the best, but among equals. Because you're not the only one who works hard or is intelligent.

zomega: barefoot in the head: BarkingUnicorn: Imagine busting your ass to get straight A's for four years and then learning that your parents think you're a "loser."

And done.

Yep. Am I the only one who thinks time away at college will be good for her? Sheesh.


" Bets, Bets, Place Yer Bets!!!!!"

$50 she gets knocked up
$25 she goes to the hospital with alcohol poisoning
$10 she gets an STD
$ 5 She goes past the Freshman 5 (15?) and hits the Freshman 25
$ 1 she ends up in therapy with Mommy & Daddy *issues*

/ I Profit!...let's see....five.....five...cary the one....and then 2 and five and a one and carry the one..no...wait let's see...hold on....ok.......$86 TAH DAH!
//not a valedictorian
///that's the joke....maths 91

CSB:

My roommate freshman year had been valedictorian of her high school, which was in Eastern Kentucky. For those of you who don't know, you can imagine Dueling Banjos over most of that part of the state.

Girl was unbearably smug about having been valedictorian, but she literally could not spell the word "fridge." She'd leave nasty notes about "PLEASE TAKE YOUR STUFF OUT OF MY FRIG" all the time.

/other CSB: one of my best friends was valedictorian at her school, and her speech was along the lines of "WE ARE NOW ONE DAY CLOSER TO THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH."

victrin: Okay, in high school I had a weighted gpa of %106.86; many sleepless nights, and an average of 14 hour school days because of the extracurriculars (Not counting homework). I graduated salutatorian. The girl who graduated valedictorian had similar helicopter parents to the girl in the story, who raised hell when they found out she might be behind me and threatened legal action against our central administration or something (Actually held up the transcripts for the entire farking school and caused some students to submit to colleges without them). So I graduated second (with full rides to my top 2 schools) and she graduated number 1 to an Ivy League... and I didn't farking care! I got what I needed out of my high school and didn't require some pissant number ranking to validate my effort.

Bonus info: It is now 6 years after HS graduation. I am living in Manhattan, debt free and working in my field at a level unusual for most 23 year-olds. She is a college dropout who couldn't handle Ivy League life, tried a state school and still couldn't cope. Mommy and Daddy didn't hold sway outside of our little burb and she couldn't perform on her own.

Bondith:
/didn't know Marquez was an Asian name

Ever been to the Phillipines?
I have.
It's loaded with Spanish names.
No one speaks Spanish for shait there.

Chinchillazilla: CSB:

My roommate freshman year had been valedictorian of her high school, which was in Eastern Kentucky. For those of you who don't know, you can imagine Dueling Banjos over most of that part of the state.

Girl was unbearably smug about having been valedictorian, but she literally could not spell the word "fridge." She'd leave nasty notes about "PLEASE TAKE YOUR STUFF OUT OF MY VAG" all the time.

>

/ftfm.....HAWT!!

LeroyBourne: ha-ha-guy: LeroyBourne: Yes, because anyone who has been to college often reflects upon their hs experience.

I sometimes wonder how the hell the reunion committee manages to keep getting my address when I move. There must be some dedicated people on that committee.

Yeah, I wonder that too. Leave me the hell alone people. I did happen to bump into someone I graduated with and asked if he went to the 10 year. Out of a class of 800 only about 30 people went. I guess it was super awkward. I'm glad I didn't make the trip.

Yeah, actually the thread got me thinking. I can't even remember the valedictorian. I know there was this group of about 10 really smart kids and one of them had to get it. I can name 6 of the 10 and I'm not sure which one got it. That's really the moral to the story, if your kid is in the AP Classes, gettings As of some form, and gets a good ACT/SAT, they're make into the Ivy League or comparable.

LrdPhoenix: I remember back when I graduated, there was a big stink around the school over who got picked as valedictorian. The student who was chosen had taken all vocational classes for 4 years and made straight As, but the student who was passed up and made salutatorian had taken all AP and Honors classes and made straight As. It was considered unfair by most people in the school to give someone who had done really well in typing, shop, and those sorts of classes valedictorian over someone who had done really well in calculus and physics and chemistry and such, but certainly not anything anyone considered suing over.

I think we should all place our bets on when the decide not to have Valedictorian anymore because "it's UNFAIR" How many years..1-2-3 PLACE YOUR BETS PEOPLE. LOL

Cup_O_Jo: I think we should all place our bets on when the decide not to have Valedictorian anymore because "it's UNFAIR" How many years..1-2-3 PLACE YOUR BETS PEOPLE. LOL

The "everyone gets a trophy" generation.

/I'd bet next year at this school.

So much for No Child Left Behind.

Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher: Their kid will hopefully be living in the dorms in college; maybe that will give her some time to get away from her lunatic parents and get some perspective.

Judging by her parents' reaction, she has probably already been disowned.

Three of us in my high school class got perfect grades in all of the hardest classes, but I was ranked 3rd (salutatorian) because I took an extra unweighted class.

She'll get over it.

/My mom was upset though - she likes seeing me get honored as much as possible.

DrewCurtisJr: I like how my hs did it. They didn't just pick the kid with the top GPA. They took the top 10 students and factored in extracurricular activities, community involvement, etc.

That sounds sensible on the surface, but with it being so subjective they are really opening themselves up to the butthurt parent brigade.

And I feel bad for this poor girl. I wouldn't be half surprised if her ultimate goal is to get far, far away from her jackass parents.

I was the exact middle of my high school class grade wise. I worked very hard to achieve that level of mediocrity.

CreampuffCasperMilktoast: Cup_O_Jo: I think we should all place our bets on when the decide not to have Valedictorian anymore because "it's UNFAIR" How many years..1-2-3 PLACE YOUR BETS PEOPLE. LOL

The "everyone gets a trophy" generation.

/I'd bet next year at this school.

It's not the first argument over Valedictorian and co valedict whatever... This has happened all over the country because of the whole "everyone gets a trophy" generation. Grumble

DrewCurtisJr: foxyshadis: Which is stupid, just like the top 1%. Even having a valedictorian is kind of dumb, but not nearly as dumb has having many.

They only had 1 valedictorian, selected from the top 10. You shouldn't punish a kid who wants to take Japanese but can't get the weighted GPA points because the school doesn't offer AP Japanese.

The only good reason to make someone valedictorian is because they're an engaging speaker. Get the most engaging speaker among the best students, rather than weighting a bunch of random achievements and hoping you don't accidentally pick the stutterer.

M AGRIPPA L F COS TERTIVM SCRIBIT: Three of us in my high school class got perfect grades in all of the hardest classes, but I was ranked 3rd (salutatorian) because I took an extra unweighted class.

She'll get over it.

/My mom was upset though - she likes seeing me get honored as much as possible.

And yet here you are on FARK.COM..and you're not even a TOTAL Farker...or even an ULTRA FAR.......

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I was valedictorian many years ago. I grew up in a small town with a graduating class of eighteen students.

I remember when the subject of valedictorian was being discussed by my classmates, I joked, "I'll be valedictorian!"

One of the girls in my class turned to me and said in a snotty fashion, "Don't you think the valedictorian should be the one with the highest grades???"

I always found that remark strange because I was always near or at the top of the class.

The class decided to vote for a valedictorian. It came down to three of us, including the one who made the grades remark; I ended up getting picked. I think my older sister was more excited. She came into the house a week or so after the vote was over; I hadn't told her about the vote. She was very excited; to me, it was just a speech I would have to write.

I ended up top student in the class. The girl who made the crack about the highest grades ended up fourth.

I don't know if my story had a point. Looking back, I guess it was an honour for me to be chosen by my classmates, but I didn't have the perspective back then to understand that.

This kid worked hard, but I don't think she'll care about not being valedictorian once she gets her degree and starts working. I don't think being the valedictorian made a difference in my life.

unicron702: CSB:

Our Valedictorian had this speech, more or less:

"I think, therefore I am. If that we're true, 90% of you wouldn't be here. You did nothing, sacrificed nothing, achieved nothing to be sitting there. You will accomplish nothing and I will laugh."

Then just walked off stage and asked for security to escort him to his car. Don't know what he did after that, but it probably involved hiding in his house until college.

I lol'd hard. That's an epic moment.

Graduated from a small school in sw La., only 21 seniors. Both the Valedictorian and Salutatorian were both book smart girls, but immediately out of high school both married wife beaters, ended up barefoot and pregnant and did absolutely nothing notable with their lives.

Though I loved growing up in that community, I got the hell out of Dodge as soon as I graduated.

Splinshints: Millennium: How, then, does someone have a higher GPA than her? Did the actual valedictorian take more GPA-boosting classes, for example?

AP classes that their kid couldn't join because the school their kid was in wasn't part of the program that offered them. It's in the article, but it's not terribly clear.

I'd feel less sympathy if they'd both had perfect grades but once -just once- the other student had dared more and it had paid off. But it looks like that didn't happen. Man, that's a bummer.

At the same time, the parents have not provided sufficient justification for imposing a double standard. Not that I think such justification exists, but "salutatorian = nothing" certainly doesn't qualify: even if their argument had any validity as far as it went, the ends would not justify the means.

Lord Dimwit: My school was in a small town that had a very stark divide between the rich and the poor. The children of rich parents in the school were almost invariably insufferable overachievers.


A weirder case happened the next year. There was a set of twins at my school whose parents were members of some weird religious sect. They had never been separated - they took the same classes every year, wore the same clothes every day, ended up being roommates in college, etc, etc. Their GPAs were within some small fraction of a point of each other, but one was ever so slightly higher than the other. The higher one ended up be salutatorian. The parents and the twins freaked out that one was going to be speaking at graduation and the other wasn't. Rather than, I don't know, opting not to speak or realizing that they weren't freaking the same person and letting the one speak, they sued the school to have the other twin named "co-salutatorian". Once again, the school either lost or settled, because they both got up to speak at graduation - and they alternated sentences throughout the whole speech. It was bizarre.


Did you get to bang the twins? That could be entertaining, what with the alternating and such

Bunnyhat: Holy fark man. I wonder what would happen to her if she came back home her first semester of college with a god damned B in one of her classes.

The parents will probably think it's due to trauma from not getting valedictorian.

Overemphasizing GPA is stupid anyway. When I was in high school, I had classmates who deliberately avoided hard classes because they didn't want to wreck their perfect GPAs.

I admit, it was satisfying when they didn't get their first choice of colleges, despite perfect GPAs, because they hadn't made the most of the opportunities that were available to them.

Mostly they ended up at second-tier state schools, majoring in business.

PS, the guidance counselors actually *advised* them to do this. Also, they tried to steer my sister (MIT, class of 1997) away from taking calculus.

My cousin graduated Salutatorian from California State University Stanislaus. She's such a loser. Her life was totally destroyed because she came in second best out of a class of 1,500+ students. She's a successful artist, author, college professor and married to a software company owner in Silicon Valley.

/Those helicopter parents need to STFU.

superdude72: PS, the guidance counselors actually *advised* them to do this. Also, they tried to steer my sister (MIT, class of 1997) away from taking calculus.

The guy whose career trajectory ended up in the guidance office of a high school is not the guy you ask how to get into MIT.

Hermione_Granger: I feel sorry for her.

I hope the loser job she's able to get after college has decent outpatient mental health benefits, because I think she'll be using them fairly extensively.

Coco LaFemme: My HS chemistry teacher told us the stuff we were learning was essential to life. I have not once had to balance a chemical equation or tell someone the atomic number for radium since.

It is essential to life. Hypothetical: You're suffering from a condition that is dangerous if not managed. Your best friend has been pushing you to switch to a 1500x homeopathic alternative "medication".

Your general knowledge of chemistry, and a few minutes basic research, will tell you _exactly_ why following your friend's bad advice is a bad idea.

/ The facts aren't the point. The facts are part of the path to a general working understanding of how chemistry works. That scientific literacy is what you're going to be relying on to keep you safe from gullible idiots and crooked pseudo-practitioners.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain

Also every kid (and most adults) needs to listen to this controversial but awesome commencement speech.

BarkingUnicorn: Imagine busting your ass to get straight A's for four years and then learning that your parents think you're a "loser."

This, exactly. I feel sorry for that kid.

Sir Roderick Glossop: eagles95: She may have to settle for Vassar

I've just about enough of your Vassar-bashing!

thank you, i'm glad someone was on top of this.

OnlyM3: california, figures. More liberals whining about not getting something they didn't earn

Moonfisher: That sounds sensible on the surface, but with it being so subjective they are really opening themselves up to the butthurt parent brigade.

Grades are full of subjectivity. Term papers, essay questions, class participation.... And the class rank used a 100+ weighted point scale. Every time junior got a 96% on an essay parents would be calling the teacher. And teachers grade differently, some a harder than others, these are things straight GPA doesn't account for.

larrycot: I have a B to an 8th grade honors student a while back. Let me clarify--the student earned her B. Very smart kid, who got a little lazy at the end of the first semester.

The parents went ballistic and we had no less than three meetings with all manner of administrators present. I asked the dad why he was so upset about it. He said, "She's never had a B in her life. You've ruined a perfect record and this will likely cost her a college scholarship."

My boss didn't appreciate me laughing at the parent.

Well, we all do!!

23 years ago I skipped my high school graduation because I "graduated early" (read that as "had enough credits to get out") and accepted an early admission to college. Looks like I didn't miss much of anything.

I started to get really annoyed at the mom, but then i thought about the circumstances and the kind of people involved, and now the more I think about the girl having to give the salutatarian speech the bigger the smile on my face is getting.
Ahahahahahahaha! Four years of hard work...

ALL WASTED.
ALL FOR NOTHING.

Hopefully, someone will kill themselves over this.