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(Daily Mail)   Traditional starting pistol banned in UK races because sound might scare children. British citizens nod in agreement and go back to cutting their steaks with a spoon   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
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2961 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2012 at 10:53 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-22 11:23:44 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: OldManDownDRoad: Groupthink much? But I suppose being part of a herd would make it a little difficult to understand how a nation the size of Britain could have such a major cultural impact on the world unless you figure in guys like Lennon, Orwell, Hockney, and Holst. A nation's greatness is not always measured by the military.

Yes, but England also produced this:
[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]


Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
 
2012-06-22 11:24:35 AM  

Biness: If you've had a steak in britain you know its nothing to get excited about. Can't buy bone in. might kill you. can't get medium rare. health and safety! can't get a good cut, might hurt you.

this is america in about 20 years.


You made that up, I bought a t-bone steak in Marks & Spencer only last weekend
I order my steak rare, can have it blue if I so require.
Good cut? What ?

In conclusion - Ooooo you big fibber !
 
2012-06-22 11:25:07 AM  
reneedezvous.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-22 11:26:24 AM  

gmoney101: Biness: If you've had a steak in britain you know its nothing to get excited about. Can't buy bone in. might kill you. can't get medium rare. health and safety! can't get a good cut, might hurt you.

this is america in about 20 years.

You made that up, I bought a t-bone steak in Marks & Spencer only last weekend
I order my steak rare, can have it blue if I so require.
Good cut? What ?

In conclusion - Ooooo you big fibber !


They must have changed the law. All of my family is over there, last time i was over, admittedly its been a few years, that was how it was over there. Perhaps hoof and mouth is far enough in the past.
 
2012-06-22 11:26:27 AM  
ffs. Stories like this make me die a little inside.

Subby - if your steak is decent you should be able to cut it with a spoon. Sharp knives are for tough cuts...

/ex-pat. Can use whatever the fark I like to eat my steak/ start races.
 
2012-06-22 11:27:29 AM  
This is why England hasn't had an Olympic sprint gold medalist in forever. Scared kids run faster.

Kinda thought that'd be obvious.
 
2012-06-22 11:28:14 AM  

craig328: This is why England hasn't had an Olympic sprint gold medalist in forever. Scared kids run faster.

Kinda thought that'd be obvious.


but they did have the first sub 4 minute mile. Granted a long time ago.
 
2012-06-22 11:30:24 AM  
You used to be cool, England. I loved you in that movie where you killed Mel Gibson.
 
2012-06-22 11:30:36 AM  

craig328: This is why England hasn't had an Olympic sprint gold medalist in forever. Scared kids run faster.

Kinda thought that'd be obvious.


er, 1992 Barcelona. Linford Christie 100m. That was only four Olympics ago... If they are scared of the gun and scared kids run faster then surely we would win every race?

Did I just get trolled?
 
2012-06-22 11:32:06 AM  

Langdon Alger: if you ban the starter pistol make it something fun like a kazoo, gong, or an AHHH--OOOHHH GAA horn. But if they're scared of a starter pistol, make it even more fun and use an air raid siren.


I was thinking that a slide whistle would be a funny way to start a race.
 
2012-06-22 11:33:06 AM  

ZeroPly: OldManDownDRoad: Frank N Stein: Britain used to rule the world
[i50.tinypic.com image 640x425]
...and now this

Srsly. The nation that gave us Nelson, Churchill, and Lennon reduced to sniveling suburbanites. A shame, really.

On the other hand, when I was over in London last year, their cops were actually NICE.


Yeah, when I was living in London in the early 80s that was an adjustment for me as well. Actually had a cop loan me bus fare when I came out of a pub in Knightsbridge, drunk as a loon, and had to get back to Cheyne Row one night. Then he stood there until the bus arrived and let the driver know where I needed to get off.

So I tracked him down later that week and offered the repay the fare but he said: "Oy, your money is no good, but I'll let you buy me a beer when I get off duty."
 
2012-06-22 11:34:49 AM  
We can't really laugh though, when we submit to being groped every time we get on an airplane, baby bottles (and babies) are dangerous weapons and a few seconds of boob on television will scar our children for life.
 
2012-06-22 11:35:54 AM  

OldManDownDRoad: Yeah, when I was living in London in the early 80s that was an adjustment for me as well. Actually had a cop loan me bus fare when I came out of a pub in Knightsbridge, drunk as a loon, and had to get back to Cheyne Row one night. Then he stood there until the bus arrived and let the driver know where I needed to get off.

So I tracked him down later that week and offered the repay the fare but he said: "Oy, your money is no good, but I'll let you buy me a beer when I get off duty."


I like to make fun of the Limey nanny state as much as anyone, but that's pretty darn cool.
 
2012-06-22 11:36:39 AM  

Hand Banana: We can't really laugh though, when we submit to being groped every time we get on an airplane, baby bottles (and babies) are dangerous weapons and a few seconds of boob on television will scar our children for life.


this.
 
2012-06-22 11:38:25 AM  

Frank N Stein: I see people listing Churchill, but lets not forget the OTHER British Churchill of WW2

[badassoftheweek.com image 232x372]

Meet Jack Churchill.



FTFA:

Churchill gave the signal to attack by cutting down the enemy Feldwebel (sergeant) with his barbed arrows

After fighting at Dunkirk, he volunteered for the Commandos, unsure of what Commando duty entailed, but was interested because it sounded dangerous.

As the ramps fell on the first landing craft, Churchill leapt forward from his position and played a tune on his bagpipes, before throwing a grenade and running into battle in the bay.

The following morning, one flanking attack was launched by 43 Commando with Churchill leading the elements from 40 Commando. The Partisans remained at the landing area. Only Churchill and six others managed to reach the objective. A mortar shell killed or wounded everyone but Churchill, who was playing "Will Ye No Come Back Again?" on his pipes as the Germans advanced.

Churchill was said to be unhappy with the sudden end of the war, saying: "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years."


I think I'm in love.
 
2012-06-22 11:38:28 AM  

Hand Banana: We can't really laugh though, when we submit to being groped every time we get on an airplane, baby bottles (and babies) are dangerous weapons and a few seconds of boob on television will scar our children for life.



We have our problems as well, but I'd rather have ours than theirs.
 
2012-06-22 11:40:32 AM  

OldManDownDRoad: ZeroPly: OldManDownDRoad: Frank N Stein: Britain used to rule the world
[i50.tinypic.com image 640x425]
...and now this

Srsly. The nation that gave us Nelson, Churchill, and Lennon reduced to sniveling suburbanites. A shame, really.

On the other hand, when I was over in London last year, their cops were actually NICE.

Yeah, when I was living in London in the early 80s that was an adjustment for me as well. Actually had a cop loan me bus fare when I came out of a pub in Knightsbridge, drunk as a loon, and had to get back to Cheyne Row one night. Then he stood there until the bus arrived and let the driver know where I needed to get off.

So I tracked him down later that week and offered the repay the fare but he said: "Oy, your money is no good, but I'll let you buy me a beer when I get off duty."


thats really cool
 
2012-06-22 11:41:47 AM  
Umm, how many of you realize an official in Dunbartonshire is not Parliament? At this point, I think the Daily Mail has quit trolling Brits, and now just straight out trolls Americans, cause you all are stupider than dirt. This is equivalent to one of those lists of dumb laws from the 1800s enacted in piss-ant municipalities. You know: "All male residents of East Bumfark Arkansas must rouge their nipples once a fortnight. So are all Americans now pussies? Because every American man self-evidently gussies up their man-titties by your logic, since any one group, no matter how small, completely represents every member of the nation
 
2012-06-22 11:42:45 AM  

Splinshints: Daily Fail, huh? So, basically, the headline and article are 95% bullshiat because they only reported 5% of the actual story? 'kay

/ they should ban the Daily Fail then since the only reason it even exists is to scare people with child-like minds


I wish we still got Mainichi Wai Wai links, which were a much more fun mix of weird stupidness.

Sadly, the Japanese became ashamed of the paper and made them knock it off.
 
2012-06-22 11:43:15 AM  

Biness: If you've had a steak in britain you know its nothing to get excited about. Can't buy bone in. might kill you. can't get medium rare. health and safety! can't get a good cut, might hurt you.

this is america in about 20 years.


No medium rare? There goes my plans to ever visit your fair isle...

Seriously, if they ban starter pistols because they might scare small children, then why is it legal to publish pictures of Camilla Parker Bowles face?
 
2012-06-22 11:43:31 AM  

phalamir: Umm, how many of you realize an official in Dunbartonshire is not Parliament? At this point, I think the Daily Mail has quit trolling Brits, and now just straight out trolls Americans, cause you all are stupider than dirt. This is equivalent to one of those lists of dumb laws from the 1800s enacted in piss-ant municipalities. You know: "All male residents of East Bumfark Arkansas must rouge their nipples once a fortnight. So are all Americans now pussies? Because every American man self-evidently gussies up their man-titties by your logic, since any one group, no matter how small, completely represents every member of the nation


I say old chap, you appear to have woken up on the wrong side of no one today.
 
2012-06-22 11:44:19 AM  

Barnstormer: Biness: If you've had a steak in britain you know its nothing to get excited about. Can't buy bone in. might kill you. can't get medium rare. health and safety! can't get a good cut, might hurt you.

this is america in about 20 years.

No medium rare? There goes my plans to ever visit your fair isle...

Seriously, if they ban starter pistols because they might scare small children, then why is it legal to publish pictures of Camilla Parker Bowles face?


Someone corrected me, apparently you can now.
 
2012-06-22 11:45:12 AM  
How did they ever survive the Blitz?
 
2012-06-22 11:45:22 AM  

phalamir: Umm, how many of you realize an official in Dunbartonshire is not Parliament? At this point, I think the Daily Mail has quit trolling Brits, and now just straight out trolls Americans, cause you all are stupider than dirt. This is equivalent to one of those lists of dumb laws from the 1800s enacted in piss-ant municipalities. You know: "All male residents of East Bumfark Arkansas must rouge their nipples once a fortnight. So are all Americans now pussies? Because every American man self-evidently gussies up their man-titties by your logic, since any one group, no matter how small, completely represents every member of the nation


You sound mad, did someone spill your tea?
 
2012-06-22 11:51:01 AM  

phalamir: Umm, how many of you realize an official in Dunbartonshire is not Parliament? At this point, I think the Daily Mail has quit trolling Brits, and now just straight out trolls Americans, cause you all are stupider than dirt. This is equivalent to one of those lists of dumb laws from the 1800s enacted in piss-ant municipalities. You know: "All male residents of East Bumfark Arkansas must rouge their nipples once a fortnight. So are all Americans now pussies? Because every American man self-evidently gussies up their man-titties by your logic, since any one group, no matter how small, completely represents every member of the nation


www.ignitumtoday.com
 
2012-06-22 11:51:06 AM  
A starter pistol that looks like a real gun is just stupid and pointless.

If it's bright orange or something like that then it makes sense. I don't want to be wondering if the guy with the .45 is a race official or a nutjob I need to keep an eye on.

Guns in public places cause intelligent people to worry because only a screaming idiot whose judgment deserves to be questioned carries a gun into a public place.

So what's the point of making a starter pistol (which is not in fact a pistol) easily confused with the real thing? It's a glorified cap-gun. Shouldn't be banned but should be more clearly distinguished.
 
2012-06-22 11:53:10 AM  

cefm: Guns in public places cause intelligent people to worry because only a screaming idiot whose judgment deserves to be questioned carries a gun into a public place.


You hoplophobes are so silly
 
2012-06-22 11:53:27 AM  

Frank N Stein: I see people listing Churchill, but lets not forget the OTHER British Churchill of WW2

[badassoftheweek.com image 232x372]

Meet Jack Churchill. He had the only confirmed kill with a bow and arrow in World War 2

From wikipedia:
nicknamed "Fighting Jack Churchill" and "Mad Jack", was a British soldier who fought throughout World War II armed with a longbow, arrows and a Scottish broadsword. He is known for the quote "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly armed."


Quite. But Winston Churchill was also a bad-ass in his younger days.
 
2012-06-22 11:53:46 AM  
If I ever decide to devote my life to a life of crime, I'm moving to England. Apparently I can smuggle two machine guns over and pretty much rule the nation in fear that I might actually shoot it and scare a child.

/And Torchwood's been disbanded, so Captain Jack won't bother me either.
 
2012-06-22 11:57:21 AM  

cefm: Guns in public places cause intelligent people to worry because only a screaming idiot whose judgment deserves to be questioned carries a gun into a public place.


Have you heard about the big Depends sale? You should stock up. They soak up a lot of liquid and keep YOU from having that continuous wet spot at your crotch.
 
2012-06-22 12:00:00 PM  

cefm: Guns in public places cause intelligent people to worry because only a screaming idiot whose judgment deserves to be questioned carries a gun into a public place.



Child please.

/Don't always carry.
//But I always do on in-state road trips.
 
2012-06-22 12:00:28 PM  
Cutting steaks?!?!?
I remember when certain Brits used their spoons to poke badgers!
 
2012-06-22 12:02:07 PM  

Splinshints: Daily Fail, huh? So, basically, the headline and article are 95% bullshiat because they only reported 5% of the actual story? 'kay

/ they should ban the Daily Fail then since the only reason it even exists is to scare people with child-like minds


i would hope the paper actually exists as a profit seeking business, selling ad space and all that. i agree this and similar papers very well scare a certain audience. seems to me most all news papers/magazines have their own slant, bias and target audience. if the DF was a cash-losing propaganda/control tool it should become apparent to someone who would point out the rags inability to turn profit while remaining in business.

i do weekly food shopping and can't help noticing around 20 magazine titles at the check-out. each title is aimed at screwing with women's heads to varying degrees. objectionable fare yes, but it's just another product looking for a customer.
 
2012-06-22 12:16:40 PM  
No one told me when to run. I'll miss the starting gun.
 
2012-06-22 12:23:42 PM  
I don't have a problem with starter pistols but I don't remember ever seeing/hearing one at the age of the kiddies in the photograph. I think the gym teacher or other race officiant just blew his whistle.

Was all of this because the officiant was a famous racing referee who was making a special appearance?
 
2012-06-22 12:26:31 PM  
You guys are forgetting something. If the british don't feel they can be trusted with big boy things like knives, guns and BBQ supplies then THEY PROBABLY CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH THOSE THINGS.

Yes, I DO expect that if you have a typical brit access to those things he WOULD do something horrible and stupid. They know they can't handle it, don't give them a hard time for it. Would you condemn a retarded child for not mastering educational skills or would you instead focus on his strengths?

The British were probably never badass, their historical victories were retard strength at best.
 
2012-06-22 12:27:22 PM  

cefm: A starter pistol that looks like a real gun is just stupid and pointless.

If it's bright orange or something like that then it makes sense. I don't want to be wondering if the guy with the .45 is a race official or a nutjob I need to keep an eye on.

Guns in public places cause intelligent people to worry because only a screaming idiot whose judgment deserves to be questioned carries a gun into a public place.

So what's the point of making a starter pistol (which is not in fact a pistol) easily confused with the real thing? It's a glorified cap-gun. Shouldn't be banned but should be more clearly distinguished.


Finally, another concealed-carry advocate.

/I got mine--you got yours?
 
2012-06-22 12:29:55 PM  
How does the British track-and-field team ever supposed to win any medals if they run down the track with their elbows at their sides and their wrists flopping all over the place?
 
2012-06-22 12:31:38 PM  
Welcome to the Isle of Nanny Law.... But yet if you speak ill of Liverpool FC, even little girls will try and kill you. If only they had the same vigor towards things like Freedom and Liberty.
 
2012-06-22 12:33:02 PM  
In all seriousness though, this kind of attitude can creep up here in the States. After all, we have Holder at the helm. This is a man that wants to "brainwash" us about guns.

Link
 
2012-06-22 12:35:02 PM  
So; some individual decides to ban a starting pistol in a possibly misguided attempt to stop small children being upset.

According to the article pretty much everyone involved at the school thinks it is ridiculous.

This is construed as the end of Britain by the Daily Fail and farkers with no critical faculties.

Does that about sum things up?
 
2012-06-22 12:36:49 PM  

mungo: So; some individual decides to ban a starting pistol in a possibly misguided attempt to stop small children being upset.

According to the article pretty much everyone involved at the school thinks it is ridiculous.

This is construed as the end of Britain by the Daily Fail and farkers with no critical faculties.

Does that about sum things up?


you forgot the part where i didn't click the link
 
2012-06-22 12:39:55 PM  

scrumpox: Cutting steaks?!?!?
I remember when certain Brits used their spoons to poke badgers!


i162.photobucket.com

Somebody gonna get spooned.
 
2012-06-22 01:06:53 PM  
I would bet that the kids think starter pistols are awesome. It's the adults that are scared of the starter pistols.
 
2012-06-22 01:15:24 PM  
Meanwhile in other parts of the world:

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-06-22 01:18:40 PM  

Hand Banana: We can't really laugh though, when we submit to being groped every time we get on an airplane, baby bottles (and babies) are dangerous weapons and a few seconds of boob on television will scar our children for life.


We get groped because a bunch of senators got kickbacks from the security industry so they would pass laws requiring this sort of thing. We deal with it because there is no other viable transport with similar travel times in this country.

If you have ever changed a diaper, you'd know how dangerous babies actually are.

The ban on liquids is a legitimate security theater issue as there are several compound chemicals that can be mixed after scanning that'll do the job the TSA is trying to thwart. Part of me wants to believe that it is a conspiracy from the airport restaurant lobby, who want to force you to buy soda at 3× the normal market rate once you get into the secure area, that the people running the TSA can't be that retarded. One can only hope for such a conspiracy.

The nip slip is less about being scared and is more about eternal damnation. A child that sees pornography will turn into a sexual deviant who will turn to drink and drugs, engage in premarital sex, homosexual acts and even bestiality (it's the drugs acting as a proxy for the Devil that made 'em do it). So in their simple minded world, it isn't the boobie that frightens them, but rather, the path of self destruction it can lead you down.
 
2012-06-22 01:18:54 PM  

hasty ambush: Meanwhile in other parts of the world:

[images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 300x347]


"Barrackuakbar!"
 
2012-06-22 01:24:48 PM  
I love the council logic:

problem: sound of gun might frighten children
solution: play recording of gunshot instead of actual gunshot

wat?
 
2012-06-22 01:35:18 PM  

Tsu-na-mi: I love the council logic:

problem: sound of gun might frighten children
solution: play recording of gunshot instead of actual gunshot

wat?


I decided to sleep in the car so my snoring wouldn't bother you, but I left a recording of my snoring so you wouldn't miss me

media.tumblr.com
 
2012-06-22 01:48:30 PM  
DFA, but instantly, after reading the headline, I wondered what they're going to do about fireworks, which tend to be a LOT louder than a starting gun.

/wimps
 
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