Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   You have a one in five chance of achieving your childhood dream. Feeling lucky?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 159
    More: Interesting, Southeast Region, Brazil, JCB Toughphones, Prince William  
•       •       •

6197 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2012 at 12:58 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



159 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-06-22 01:37:51 AM  

Psycat: From my experience, the best way to attain your dream is to have a dream that's different from anybody else's. If your dream is to be an NFL player or astronaut, the competition is FIERCE for the 10% or so of you with that dream who actually take a whack at attaining it. Something like one astronaut or NFL draft pick per thousand or million applicants.

I'm the world's greatest expert in my genre of art for the simple fact that I invented my own genre of art. I'd hate to be a painter finding myself in competition with not only the thousands of living professional painters out there, but being compared to Renoir, Michelangelo, and Parrish as well. Creativity might not matter much in a high-school art contest (being a human Xerox rules in that environment), but in the real world, originality is what separates the Dalís from the duffers...


How's that Starbucks job working out for you?
 
2012-06-22 01:40:28 AM  

WhippingBoy: How's that Starbucks job working out for you?


It's kinda funny you say that, my dream has always been to run a cafe. I've been drinking the stuff since I was 8 and can't live without it. One day, I'll have own coffeeshop/roasterie, but it's won't be for a long time.
 
2012-06-22 01:43:00 AM  

Omahawg: cptjeff: Omahawg: i can walk into the library of congress and check out books with my name on the spine

/still poor

No you can't. The library of congress won't check out books, it's entirely a reference library. And, sorry to say, they may not have your book. They don't actually keep them all, though they do catalog everything.

\Dream crushed.

damn your soul to detroit!

never been there. had the kid ask when she was down there on a field trip. they had 3 of them.


Um. An elderly friend wanted her husbands yearbook type thingee from Harvard ~1931. - (BTW, Charles Lamb was in there, the joke on MASH was already old.. her husband was the same guy I've mentioned before with a beer tap fashioned from a taxidermied whale penis.) anyway, educated the local library about interlibrary loans and they got it for us through LOC. When we were done, we returned it to the local library.

/good on ya, not many can say that, either way!
 
2012-06-22 01:43:21 AM  
Fark yooooooouuuuuuu. Who just sold $75,000 worth of board games? This guy.
 
2012-06-22 01:45:16 AM  

The Smails Kid: Psycat: I still haven't been appointed God yet. On the other hand, my desire to be a creative professional of some sort has come more-or-less* true.

*I'm barely making a living at this, but I do have a small and dedicated fan base. And I get to travel to cool places and visit a lot of museums. Whoo, hoo!

You know who else had a small and dedicated fanbase?

/Jerry Sandusky


Blecch, I'm not into his scene. With my fanbase, 'small' means 'low in numbers', not 'jailbait age'. I haven't been following his scandal at all--just as boring as the political rantings of the Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi candidates...

/but I do occasionally have fans that will drive a considerable distance to see one of my gigs...
//just wish there were more single women into scuba diving in my fan base...
 
2012-06-22 01:47:37 AM  
I want to be a scientist, and I'm on the road there, but it starts to get very, very narrow and scary from here on.

/anyone need a postdoc
 
2012-06-22 01:48:32 AM  
I don't remember what I wanted to be or even if I wanted to be anything at all. I don't think I had any childhood dreams, I just took life day by day. I just wanted to play and have fun.
 
2012-06-22 01:51:36 AM  
I wanted to be so many things, but mostly it was a cross between actor-rock star-bmx racer-hugh hefner-regular orgy participant. None of that came true :(. I'd settle for a stable career that I enjoy making a decent wage where I'm not worried about getting laid off after every project.
 
2012-06-22 01:53:09 AM  

Psycat: The Smails Kid: Psycat: I still haven't been appointed God yet. On the other hand, my desire to be a creative professional of some sort has come more-or-less* true.

*I'm barely making a living at this, but I do have a small and dedicated fan base. And I get to travel to cool places and visit a lot of museums. Whoo, hoo!

You know who else had a small and dedicated fanbase?

/Jerry Sandusky

Blecch, I'm not into his scene. With my fanbase, 'small' means 'low in numbers', not 'jailbait age'. I haven't been following his scandal at all--just as boring as the political rantings of the Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi candidates...

/but I do occasionally have fans that will drive a considerable distance to see one of my gigs...
//just wish there were more single women into scuba diving in my fan base...


The biggest problem about being unique is that you're frikkin unique

/literally
 
2012-06-22 01:53:11 AM  

WhippingBoy: How's that Starbucks job working out for you?


If by "Starbucks job", you mean traveling to interesting places as diverse as Anaheim and Belgium to work in a TV studio or museum or convention center to do something that fascinates the hell out of me so much I'd do it for free but instead do it before a throng of cheering people who ask for autographs afterwards and lets me fly home afterwards with a nice honorarium check so I can slack off for the next couple of months and browbeat stupid basement-dwelling virgins who project their own failings on everybody by accusing them of working for Starbucks, then yes, I have a Starbucks job.

/next...
 
2012-06-22 01:55:42 AM  
When I started with my company, my current position didn't exist. They created the position five years ago when they realized I had skill sets that didn't fall into any current classification and supported all departments.

I'd love to be making more money, but I love what I do. And since I work at home and get to spend my days with my kids while they're babies, I can't complain. Now that the kids are getting bigger, I find myself having to learn more and increase my skills so I'm ready to move on in the future. But it's nice to have a job where I do something new every week and am creating new things all the time.
 
2012-06-22 01:57:07 AM  

ned3000: Bullshiat. You've got a 1 in 1 chance of achieving your childhood dreams if they're not unreasonable. Anyone who says otherwise isn't trying hard enough.


Look, you're British. So scale it down a bit, alright?
 
2012-06-22 01:57:24 AM  
Politics was the least desirable career for both sexes

I don't think anyone who *wants* to be in politics should be allowed to be a politician.
 
2012-06-22 01:59:59 AM  

PillsHere: I'd settle for a stable career that I enjoy making a decent wage where I'm not worried about getting laid off after every project.


Agree. Occasionally will dust off other childhood dreams for fun...the fedora and whip draw puzzled glances from other subway patrons though.
 
2012-06-22 02:01:10 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: The biggest problem about being unique is that you're frikkin unique

/literally


Some might consider uniqueness a bad thing, but personally I love uniqueness so much I'd marry it (so far, man-concept marriages are only legal in Wisconsin). The great thing about being unique is that people don't forget me and that's good for business. I've visited many artists' studios where I see technically competent paintings that look nice but aren't very imaginative--and then I forget the artist's name five seconds after I walk out of the studio.

I've got my copycats, but I'm not (too) bothered by them. I still get credit for inventing pretty much everything in my repertoire and they're falling victim to the Sammy Petrillo Syndrome*.

*Sammy Petrillo, as almost nobody knows, is probably the best Jerry Lewis impersonator on Earth. So good, in fact, that when people see his movies, they think they're just seeing an especially crummy Jerry Lewis film. Even those who recognize him think, "Oh, that Jerry Lewis impersonator, What's-His-Name."
 
2012-06-22 02:07:50 AM  
thank you, JustInCase...
 
2012-06-22 02:07:59 AM  

marcre3363: When I started with my company, my current position didn't exist. They created the position five years ago when they realized I had skill sets that didn't fall into any current classification and supported all departments.


Good for you! I found the corporate world too inflexible and cement-headed to work my unique skills into a position. Congrats on getting the corporate world to actually work to your advantage.

I'd love to be making more money, but I love what I do. And since I work at home and get to spend my days with my kids while they're babies, I can't complain. Now that the kids are getting bigger, I find myself having to learn more and increase my skills so I'm ready to move on in the future. But it's nice to have a job where I do something new every week and am creating new things all the time.

Working at home is great--no commute and you can work in your underwear. No boss around, either, if you want to take a bong hit on occasion or go out for a walk. Creativity, too, helps to keep things from getting dull. Sounds like you really have it made, career-wise.
 
2012-06-22 02:10:11 AM  

Psycat: WhippingBoy: How's that Starbucks job working out for you?

If by "Starbucks job", you mean traveling to interesting places as diverse as Anaheim and Belgium to work in a TV studio or museum or convention center to do something that fascinates the hell out of me so much I'd do it for free but instead do it before a throng of cheering people who ask for autographs afterwards and lets me fly home afterwards with a nice honorarium check so I can slack off for the next couple of months and browbeat stupid basement-dwelling virgins who project their own failings on everybody by accusing them of working for Starbucks, then yes, I have a Starbucks job.

/next...


But how's it working out for you???
 
2012-06-22 02:13:47 AM  

the_chief: Astrophysicist.


I should have mentioned that I'm only a biologist. So I failed to achieve my dream.
 
2012-06-22 02:15:11 AM  

WhippingBoy: Psycat: WhippingBoy: How's that Starbucks job working out for you?

If by "Starbucks job", you mean traveling to interesting places as diverse as Anaheim and Belgium to work in a TV studio or museum or convention center to do something that fascinates the hell out of me so much I'd do it for free but instead do it before a throng of cheering people who ask for autographs afterwards and lets me fly home afterwards with a nice honorarium check so I can slack off for the next couple of months and browbeat stupid basement-dwelling virgins who project their own failings on everybody by accusing them of working for Starbucks, then yes, I have a Starbucks job.

/next...

But how's it working out for you???


The art job? It's working great!
 
2012-06-22 02:16:13 AM  
I'm glad I didn't do my childhood dream. I wanted to be a hitman.
Problem is the killing part. I can't kill anything that isn't trying to hurt me first or directly feeds me.

Rather than that lofty goal, I hunt unusual objects and sell them for profit.
Looking back, I guess when I was a kid I didn't want to be farked with. Now I live that dream without hurting anything.

/Thanks interwebs!
 
2012-06-22 02:28:25 AM  
That implies you have a dream.

The rest of us grew in middle-class, were told we were bright, and at 34 still have no idea what we want to be. Great at nothing, competant at most things given a lot of time. Interested in nothing.


... except sitting at home laughing at funny things found on the Internet.
 
2012-06-22 02:32:30 AM  
I was able to achieve my dream job (professional basketball player), but this forced me to have to admit that I wasn't good enough at my dream job to make a living out of it.
My next dream job was to get paid to blow stuff up with explosives... Which I've been doing for the past 6 months
 
2012-06-22 02:33:46 AM  
Let's see...

Be a soldier...check
Race car...my beautiful Mustang will do.
Family...sorta check (long term relationship)
Be rich...well, I'm "richer" than when I was growing up so...check
Not be an alcoholic like dad...erm...4 outta 5 aint bad
 
2012-06-22 02:35:33 AM  

Psycat:
I'm the world's greatest expert in my genre of art for the simple fact that I invented my own genre of art.


Do you have to be at the studio in 26 minutes?
 
2012-06-22 02:35:59 AM  

Psycat: WhippingBoy: Psycat: WhippingBoy: How's that Starbucks job working out for you?

If by "Starbucks job", you mean traveling to interesting places as diverse as Anaheim and Belgium to work in a TV studio or museum or convention center to do something that fascinates the hell out of me so much I'd do it for free but instead do it before a throng of cheering people who ask for autographs afterwards and lets me fly home afterwards with a nice honorarium check so I can slack off for the next couple of months and browbeat stupid basement-dwelling virgins who project their own failings on everybody by accusing them of working for Starbucks, then yes, I have a Starbucks job.

/next...

But how's it working out for you???

The art job? It's working great!


That's great. Most people never get see the diverse epicentre that is Anaheim. You truly are living the dream.


/m-o-u-s-e!
 
2012-06-22 02:37:11 AM  

FDR Jones: Psycat:
I'm the world's greatest expert in my genre of art for the simple fact that I invented my own genre of art.

Do you have to be at the studio in 26 minutes?


Hey! Fecal painting *is* art. It's what Picasso would have done had he had talent.
 
2012-06-22 02:44:49 AM  

FDR Jones: Psycat:
I'm the world's greatest expert in my genre of art for the simple fact that I invented my own genre of art.

Do you have to be at the studio in 26 minutes?


Yes, so I can get to the "laugh at resentful go-nowheres" session in time...

/for Heaven's sake, folks, the 'world's greatest expert' statement was meant to be partially self-mocking. Yes, if you pick something so bizarro that nobody else does it, you can be the world's greatest expert; however, being the world's greatest expert at what I do is only able to keep me barely above the poverty line.
 
2012-06-22 02:46:12 AM  
I wanted to be an architect when I was a kid, but I gave up on that around age 15 or so. I haven't really had any professional aspirations since then. I'm 31.
 
2012-06-22 02:47:30 AM  

lordargent: Somehow, I don't think I'm going to become a starship captain in my lifetime.


I bet you'd make a fantastic captain on SPACESHIP EARTH.

/"nobody ever says 'I wanna be a junkie when I grow up,'" I remember seeing that commercial as a kid, and deciding right then and there: I wanted to be a junkie
//so my apologies to the next 4 people to post
///fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net
//unrepentant f*cking drug addict
/stay away from the legal ones; they'll kill ya

fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net
 
2012-06-22 02:48:07 AM  

Psycat: FDR Jones: Psycat:
I'm the world's greatest expert in my genre of art for the simple fact that I invented my own genre of art.

Do you have to be at the studio in 26 minutes?

Yes, so I can get to the "laugh at resentful go-nowheres" session in time...

/for Heaven's sake, folks, the 'world's greatest expert' statement was meant to be partially self-mocking. Yes, if you pick something so bizarro that nobody else does it, you can be the world's greatest expert; however, being the world's greatest expert at what I do is only able to keep me barely above the poverty line.


I'm sure your art is fine, but you're coming across as the world's biggest douche-bag.
 
2012-06-22 02:48:52 AM  

Psycat: Yes, so I can get to the "laugh at resentful go-nowheres" session in time...


ouch, man. ouch.
 
2012-06-22 02:51:39 AM  

WhippingBoy: That's great. Most people never get see the diverse epicentre that is Anaheim. You truly are living the dream.


/m-o-u-s-e!


Actually, I did get to visit Disneyland--and my client paid for the ticket as well. And Anaheim is no better or worse than any of the other places I've visited in my line of work. And even the tackiest IHOP in Anaheim is a hell of a lot better than sitting in an office (or mom's basement) and wishing I were somewhere else...
 
2012-06-22 02:53:58 AM  

FDR Jones: I wanted to be an architect when I was a kid, but I gave up on that around age 15 or so. I haven't really had any professional aspirations since then. I'm 31.


I suppose you could be a professional Farker who makes resentful comments about being at the gym in 26 minutes to anybody who rubs you the wrong way. But you're probably foolish enough to do it for free...
 
2012-06-22 02:57:21 AM  

WhippingBoy: I'm sure your art is fine, but you're coming across as the world's biggest douche-bag.


You're coming across as the world's most resentful loser. It's funny how somebody could state that they have a degree in rocket science, or belong to Mensa, or have a couple of Guinness world-record certificates, and every insecure person in a 50-foot radius gets all biatchy and resentful. Does it really torque you off that I actually have a career that I enjoy?
 
2012-06-22 02:59:31 AM  

Psycat: WhippingBoy: I'm sure your art is fine, but you're coming across as the world's biggest douche-bag.

You're coming across as the world's most resentful loser. It's funny how somebody could state that they have a degree in rocket science, or belong to Mensa, or have a couple of Guinness world-record certificates, and every insecure person in a 50-foot radius gets all biatchy and resentful. Does it really torque you off that I actually have a career that I enjoy?


You seem awfully defensive...
 
2012-06-22 03:01:48 AM  

WhippingBoy: You seem awfully defensive...


You seem awfully offensive...
 
2012-06-22 03:02:19 AM  

Psycat: WhippingBoy: You seem awfully defensive...

You seem awfully offensive...


Oooo. Check-mate.
 
2012-06-22 03:04:27 AM  

WhippingBoy: Psycat: WhippingBoy: I'm sure your art is fine, but you're coming across as the world's biggest douche-bag.

You're coming across as the world's most resentful loser. It's funny how somebody could state that they have a degree in rocket science, or belong to Mensa, or have a couple of Guinness world-record certificates, and every insecure person in a 50-foot radius gets all biatchy and resentful. Does it really torque you off that I actually have a career that I enjoy?

You seem awfully defensive...


I wanted to be happy...and I pretty much achieved that. Glad you did too.

Money isn't happiness for everyone.
 
2012-06-22 03:08:59 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: I wanted to be happy...and I pretty much achieved that. Glad you did too.

Money isn't happiness for everyone.


More power to ya, Bigdogdaddy! Contentment is about all anybody can hope for in this universe. I'll never be a millionaire (at least until I finish my novel), but I have a job that's satisfying so I'm doing fine...
 
2012-06-22 03:13:24 AM  

Psycat: Bigdogdaddy: I wanted to be happy...and I pretty much achieved that. Glad you did too.

Money isn't happiness for everyone.

More power to ya, Bigdogdaddy! Contentment is about all anybody can hope for in this universe. I'll never be a millionaire (at least until I finish my novel), but I have a job that's satisfying so I'm doing fine...


I'm not sure anyone is programmed to be "content" but yeah, mostly it's siezing your opportunities and not crying about the ones you missed but continuing on continuing on.
 
2012-06-22 03:13:38 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: WhippingBoy: Psycat: WhippingBoy: I'm sure your art is fine, but you're coming across as the world's biggest douche-bag.

You're coming across as the world's most resentful loser. It's funny how somebody could state that they have a degree in rocket science, or belong to Mensa, or have a couple of Guinness world-record certificates, and every insecure person in a 50-foot radius gets all biatchy and resentful. Does it really torque you off that I actually have a career that I enjoy?

You seem awfully defensive...

I wanted to be happy...and I pretty much achieved that. Glad you did too.

Money isn't happiness for everyone.


Why do the two have to be mutually exclusive? I've got a job that I love doing (was born to do, in fact) and I pull in six-figures. I work from home, but every couple of months they fly me to some interesting place (Japan, Korea, South of France, Germany, Australia, Scotland, Northern Ireland, etc.) for a couple of weeks. On top of that, I don't have to worry about paying for my kid's school, or what I'm going to do if the car breaks down (I'll just buy a new one).
 
2012-06-22 03:18:25 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: I'm not sure anyone is programmed to be "content" but yeah, mostly it's siezing your opportunities and not crying about the ones you missed but continuing on continuing on.


Exactly. I've made many stupid wrong turns in my life, but it's pointless to let obsessing over past mistakes sabotage a person's future. What sucks, though, is that by the time I have everything figured out, I'll be too old to use my wisdom ;)
 
2012-06-22 03:32:55 AM  
Since I'm not actually getting any work done, I'll toss out another insight I had a few days ago when chatting with a friend.

First, everybody knows what a 'shibboleth' is, right? It's kinda like a 'tell' in poker; a sign that tells people your true status in spite of pretenses to the contrary. It could be a weird pronunciation of a word, an oddball idiomatic expression, an uncommon gesture, or anything else that gives away a person's true identity. A good example is in My Fair Lady where Eliza is successful at acting like a high-class lady until she attends a horse race and, in a moment of excitement, shouts out some lowbrow Cockney expression.

I think I figured out the ultimate shibboleth for Internet poseurs who claim to be famous actors, millionaires, etc. who are being incognito. Simply ask them what it's like to be an actor/millionaire/international man of mystery. If the description sounds like every stupid cliche of that profession, it's a dead giveaway that they're full of crappola. If you talk to somebody who really is an actor/millionaire/international man of mystery, their insider description will almost always sound radically different than the tabloid version of their lifestyle.

And people who genuinely are whom they claim to be? They'll tend to be a lot more informal and a lot less defensive than some phony. But I digress...
 
2012-06-22 03:33:43 AM  
WhippingBoy: Why do the two have to be mutually exclusive? I've got a job that I love doing (was born to do, in fact) and I pull in six-figures. I work from home, but every couple of months they fly me to some interesting place (Japan, Korea, South of France, Germany, Australia, Scotland, Northern Ireland, etc.) for a couple of weeks. On top of that, I don't have to worry about paying for my kid's school, or what I'm going to do if the car breaks down (I'll just buy a new one).
1.bp.blogspot.com


/you may be fooling morons in this thread but you are not fooling me
 
2012-06-22 03:40:19 AM  

urban.derelict: /you may be fooling morons in this thread but you are not fooling me


I saw through it, too, hence my screed on shibboleths...
 
2012-06-22 03:49:00 AM  
I wanted to be happy, wealthy, married to a hottie and be a Dad.


/Done.
 
2012-06-22 03:57:22 AM  
I wanted to be a race car driver as a kid...

What am I now as I'm approaching 39... Several weekends a year, a race car driver...

Life is pretty awesome.
 
2012-06-22 04:02:42 AM  

moike: I wanted to be a race car driver as a kid...

What am I now as I'm approaching 39... Several weekends a year, a race car driver...

Life is pretty awesome.


More power to ya! My grandpa and uncle had a transmission shop and raced cars on weekends. My coolest memory of my grandpa was him getting in a drag race when he was in his 70s...
 
2012-06-22 04:04:13 AM  
I wanted to have the hottie at school - got her at uni. (then proceeded to realise uni had a whole new class of hottie)
Wanted to be a millionaire - the wankers in my economics/accounting classes put me off (thankfully philosophy saved me)
Wanted to be a corporate cop to arrest those wankers - the police academy had a problem with my choice of sacrament (thanks philosophy ;p )
I wanted to read books and play computer games as much as I wanted to (days on end if I feel like it) - WOOT LIVING MY DREAM :D

Semi-retired Bum :-) (work in order to get out of my house and interact with my fellow humans - reading and gaming are a bit insular, one needs balance).
 
Displayed 50 of 159 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report