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(Philly Burbs)   Fail: Newlyweds from West Virginia go to Sonic drive-in for their honeymoon. Ultrafail: Husband gets arrested for fighting with his new wife while on their honeymoon at Sonic   ( divider line
    More: Amusing, West Virginia, Pontiac Grand Prix, honeymoons, Bunker Hill, public intoxication  
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8213 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jun 2012 at 3:25 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-06-21 03:28:10 PM  
8 votes:
Good old sibling rivalry
2012-06-21 03:30:32 PM  
3 votes:
Biatch took my tots. NOBODY takes my tots!
2012-06-21 03:56:20 PM  
2 votes:
Homewrecking little blue bastard!
2012-06-21 05:17:39 PM  
1 vote:

Bad Man: Great Janitor: When my wife and I were planning our wedding, I was suggesting seeing just how much it would cost to get McDonalds or Sonic to cater. Then we decided on Pizza Hut. My mom heard of this and said "Seriously, at a wedding you're going to expect your guests to walk through a pizza buffet?" When I asked "And what the hell is wrong with that?", she yelled at me for 20 minutes on how tacky and redneck that idea was, but did admit that it was better than phoning McDonalds that moring to tell them to ready enough burgers and fries to feed a wedding reception of about 100 people.

/I still placed that call
//just to get a quote incase I needed to know later on
///and I was curious as to what their reaction would be

Well, don't leave us in suspense?!?

Well, I was dumb enough to ask for the dollar menus options, which came to a surprising $200 for one burger and order of fries per person. When asked if they could get that done in just four hours, the reaction was "Is this a prank call? You're going to cater your wedding off the dollar menu? This is a prank call, I'm hanging up.". I was honestly considering the "steamed hams" approach.
2012-06-21 04:45:41 PM  
1 vote:
When my sister got married, it was at the court house. She was 8 months pregnant. The wedding right before her's was with a very pregnant (3rd trimester) bride and the one after my sister's wedding was with a very pregnant bride. I'm assuming it being a court house was why there was an obvious lack of shotguns.

The part that really pisses off my sister is that the only thing about the wedding that it talked about is me. I was allowed to bring a date, I didn't think they were actually going to get married, so I got my best friend to come in drag as my date. Again, I didn't think it was going to happen. They had five previous wedding dates, I was playing the odds. And secondly, when asked if anyone had any reason why they shouldn't be married, I stood up and said "I have a list of bullet points, about 30 or so reasons."

Yeah, that may be kind of dickish to actually have a list written out and ready to go, but in my defense, her husband hasn't had a job since Bill Clinton was president, he showers less than a Frenchman (He told me once that to save time each day he sleeps in his clothes so that when he wakes up he's already dressed and ready to go. I asked "Go where? You don't have a job, you don't look for a job, where do you need to go?").
2012-06-21 04:22:23 PM  
1 vote:
The gay couple in question.
2012-06-21 04:00:43 PM  
1 vote:

OldManDownDRoad: A couple years back one of the secretaries in my department got married. Let me count the fails:

1. New hubby was just out of prison
2. New hubby got into a fight with a strip club bouncer at his party the night before
3. Bouncer realizes it's a bachelor party and says new hubby can go home (no cops) if his intended will come and get him.
4. Intended gets out of bed at 3 am to go to strip club, gets into fight with one of the girls, loses shoes in process.
5. Bouncer says "fark this" and puts them all in a limo - after charging new hubby's card $300, of course.
6. Hungover couple delays the wedding two hours, but no one knows until they get there.
7. Hubby's family refuses to let black people from our office sit on "their" side of the church. Black folks leave.
8. Hungover hubby passes out midway through ceremony.

If I hadn't been a witness to all this, I wouldn't have believed it - but there you go.

/yes, divorced within the year, but not before she became a single mother

You're banging her, aren't you?? Come on...admit it. You can tell good ole Uncle Fark.
2012-06-21 03:59:45 PM  
1 vote:
No Knuckles yet? What the fark fark?
2012-06-21 03:56:18 PM  
1 vote:
I like how submitter assumed "newlywed" meant "on honeymoon."

Also this FTFA: "Ladies, here's a sign that your new marriage might be off to a rocky start: you've been married two months and already your louse of a husband is taking you out to fast food joints - a Sonic, no less."

Um, so if you're recently married, you have to lavish lobster and caviar on your wife for every meal, no fast food at all? What's the cutoff? Six months? A year?
2012-06-21 03:54:14 PM  
1 vote:

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I stayed at a Sonic Drive Inn once. It was really greasy.

Sometimes it can feel greasy when you park it in the back.
2012-06-21 03:49:50 PM  
1 vote:

Mr. Potatoass: People have cars in West Virginia?

Sure do. They're up on blocks on the lawn, right next to the old warshing machine
2012-06-21 03:43:32 PM  
1 vote:

Wellon Dowd: The jokes on you, snobmitter. Sonic is the fanciest restaurant in Susquehanna Township.

2012-06-21 03:41:34 PM  
1 vote:
On our honeymoon we got to the hotel room by maybey 4 AM, had to catch the flight to Hawaii at 6:30, flew the 9+ hours, landed in Oahu around 1PM, and did I mention my wife REFUSES to eat airplane food, and by the time we got the rental car if I didn't find a McDonalds in 15 minutes I was gonna be divorced or dead.

2012-06-21 03:41:12 PM  
1 vote:

lacrossestar83: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Good old sibling rivalry

You win AOL!!

(You'd have won the Internet if we weren't talking about West Virginia)

/old skool biatches
2012-06-21 03:41:04 PM  
1 vote:

MadMonk: Let me get this straight, at 3:30 in the afternoon some white trash guy gets arrested for public intoxication at a Sonic. He just happens to be married for two months....which somehow means that it's a "honeymoon" and therefore becomes news that not only is news on one site but repeated, with added flair onto another website which in turn is a greenlighted submission here on fark?

I don't get it.

Actually, I think you got it perfectly!
2012-06-21 03:39:50 PM  
1 vote:

The couple in question?
2012-06-21 03:37:24 PM  
1 vote:
"So Good, It'll Make You Want To Smack Your Momma New Wife
2012-06-21 03:36:21 PM  
1 vote:

farkerts: FTFA: Police also found two open bottles of vodka in the car and when they patted down Sullivan, they found marijuana and a pipe, Martin said.

What is this dude's Fark Handle?

Just goes by "Drew"
2012-06-21 03:33:38 PM  
1 vote:
I just ate some sonic and didn't even fight anyone.
2012-06-21 03:33:05 PM  
1 vote:
Sonic is courting food. Once you trick them into marrying you, that's when you can do the cafeteria in Target.
2012-06-21 03:31:48 PM  
1 vote:
There's enough density in that story to collapse into a black hole
2012-06-21 03:31:22 PM  
1 vote:
People have cars in West Virginia?
Displayed 22 of 22 comments

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