If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WPTV)   Today's zombie attack comes to you from Palmetto, Florida. Main course: biceps   (wptv.com) divider line 49
    More: Florida, Palmetto, Manatee County, Deputy Wildt  
•       •       •

7675 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jun 2012 at 9:50 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-06-21 09:52:54 AM  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Availability_heuristic
 
2012-06-21 09:52:57 AM  
So two constitutes a "string"?
 
2012-06-21 09:53:09 AM  
It's great that the zombie apocalypse is going to happen now that we're oversaturated and burned out on it. Way to be late again, Real Life.
 
2012-06-21 09:53:56 AM  
at least they don't test for bath salts on employee drug tests.
 
2012-06-21 09:54:48 AM  
There is nothing humerus about this story.
 
2012-06-21 09:58:44 AM  
WOOOOO, Bath Salt Boogie!
 
2012-06-21 09:58:52 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: at least they don't test for bath salts on employee drug tests.


Or to get welfare.
 
2012-06-21 10:05:02 AM  

markfara: So two constitutes a "string"?


This is at least the 4th one I've seen. 2 in Miami, 1 in Louisiana and the one with the naked woman chasing people in her apartment complex (she didn't bite anyone but I'm guessing that's just because she didn't catch them).
 
2012-06-21 10:07:45 AM  
What's the difference between an electronic control device and an electronic shock device?

Fine reporting there, Lou.
 
2012-06-21 10:08:46 AM  
smoke weed get the munchies, want to eat Willie Nelson peach cobbler ice cream and pistachios
ingest bath salts get the munchies....
 
2012-06-21 10:09:09 AM  

markfara: So two constitutes a "string"?


There's been a lot more than two.
 
2012-06-21 10:13:31 AM  
I wonder if there is a cultural influence on these "bath salt" attacks... similar to other cultural psychoses such as amok and wendigo psychosis.

Maybe we should spread the rumor that bath salts make you go crazy for cleaning up litter and see if that has a positive effect, because people with think that when they go on a crazy bath salt bender the inevitable effect is for them to clean the streets.
 
2012-06-21 10:14:07 AM  

DoBeDoBeDo: This is at least the 4th one I've seen. 2 in Miami, 1 in Louisiana and the one with the naked woman chasing people in her apartment complex (she didn't bite anyone but I'm guessing that's just because she didn't catch them).


there was a case in Olney MD where a man was shot and started flinging his INTESTINES at the po-lice.
and he ate a brothers HEART and BRAIN, yo.
 
2012-06-21 10:16:38 AM  
Much like the Miami face-eating attack, 26-year-old Charles Baker got naked, ate human flesh and wouldn't go down without a fight, according to a Manatee County Sheriff's Office report.

/figures..my wife won't go down without a fight either. I wonder if she's a zombie? runs.
 
2012-06-21 10:21:53 AM  

fireclown: DoBeDoBeDo: This is at least the 4th one I've seen. 2 in Miami, 1 in Louisiana and the one with the naked woman chasing people in her apartment complex (she didn't bite anyone but I'm guessing that's just because she didn't catch them).

there was a case in Olney MD where a man was shot and started flinging his INTESTINES at the po-lice.
and he ate a brothers HEART and BRAIN, yo.


Okay so we're now at 5.

/Off to buy that Zombie Apocolypse Survival book on Amazon
 
2012-06-21 10:23:47 AM  

rocketpants: What's the difference between an electronic control device and an electronic shock device?

Fine reporting there, Lou.


I'm wondering why TFA didn't simply use the word "taser"
 
2012-06-21 10:24:14 AM  
Bah!

These are not zombies. They're more like Reavers from Firefly. Please adjust your threat response accordingly.

/Stayed at a Holiday Inn Express recently
 
2012-06-21 10:25:30 AM  

markfara: So two constitutes a "string"?



Do you have a nice rock?
 
2012-06-21 10:26:38 AM  
Gotta shoot 'em in the head......
 
2012-06-21 10:28:19 AM  

Wenchmaster: Bah!

These are not zombies. They're more like Reavers from Firefly. Please adjust your threat response accordingly.

/Stayed at a Holiday Inn Express recently


So no need to shoot for the head specifically? Just fill them with as many bullets as possible until they stop moving?

(Then find super kid who knows about their home planet and watch the pilot die after saying he's a leaf?)
 
2012-06-21 10:29:11 AM  

Wenchmaster: Bah!

These are not zombies. They're more like Reavers from Firefly. Please adjust your threat response accordingly.

/Stayed at a Holiday Inn Express recently



Makes sense
 
2012-06-21 10:31:44 AM  
no one can see a common denominator with these Zombie attacks?
 
2012-06-21 10:35:55 AM  

vegasj: no one can see a common denominator with these Zombie attacks?


We get it, they're black.
 
2012-06-21 10:36:53 AM  

TheotherMIguy: So no need to shoot for the head specifically? Just fill them with as many bullets as possible until they stop moving?


Worked for Jayne and the cop who dropped the face-chewer. Just keep putting holes in center mass until the Reaver stops being a threat. Easier targeting, but they're a lot faster than zombies (except the ones from 28 Days Later).
 
2012-06-21 10:45:07 AM  

Wenchmaster: TheotherMIguy: So no need to shoot for the head specifically? Just fill them with as many bullets as possible until they stop moving?

Worked for Jayne and the cop who dropped the face-chewer. Just keep putting holes in center mass until the Reaver stops being a threat. Easier targeting, but they're a lot faster than zombies (except the ones from 28 Days Later).


Well, to be fair, those were mostly Reavers with the 'infection' subtype. Rage zombies and all that.
 
2012-06-21 10:46:45 AM  
so i guess 'electronic control device' is the new, friendly way to say tazer? i didn't shock the crap outta him, I just deployed my 'electronic control device'. pulitzer stuff, no doubt.
 
2012-06-21 10:47:48 AM  
Okay dammit, this is exactly what the Zombie Survival Guide warned me about.
Something to the effect of hearing several stories of canabilistic behavior or wierd attacks that resemble rabies being a good indicator of an upcoming zombie outbreak. Max Brooks might be a hack writer who doesn't know much about firearms, but dammit, he called this one.

I am going to sharpen the machete, and get some more range time in, just like he suggested.

/Does Walmart carry cherry PIE?
 
2012-06-21 10:48:29 AM  

Walker: markfara: So two constitutes a "string"?

There's been a lot more than two.


So how much is "a lot" these days? 2?
 
2012-06-21 10:52:20 AM  

WienerButt: vegasj: no one can see a common denominator with these Zombie attacks?

We get it, they're black.


So the zombie apocolypse will be zombies that are faster and more athletic that me?!

/Doomed
 
2012-06-21 10:59:48 AM  

trappedspirit: Walker: markfara: So two constitutes a "string"?

There's been a lot more than two.

So how much is "a lot" these days? 2?



IIRC this is something like the 5th or 6th in the last few months. #2 or 3 for Florida alone
 
2012-06-21 11:03:01 AM  

vegasj: no one can see a common denominator with these Zombie attacks?


They occurred after the publication of 50 Shades of Gray?
 
2012-06-21 11:07:37 AM  
These guys obviously have a much weaker form of the virus. I mean, being momentarily stopped by tazers? The Miami Zombie took 2 bullets without stopping. How long until we have BOWs?
 
2012-06-21 11:22:51 AM  

rocketpants: What's the difference between an electronic control device and an electronic shock device?

Fine reporting there, Lou.


I took that to mean one shoots the probes into the person and the other is a stun gun that you have to touch to the person, but I could be wrong about that. And yeah, there were a bunch of typos in TFA. Remember the days when articles were edited?
 
2012-06-21 11:32:40 AM  

craxyd: trappedspirit: Walker: markfara: So two constitutes a "string"?

There's been a lot more than two.

So how much is "a lot" these days? 2?


IIRC this is something like the 5th or 6th in the last few months. #2 or 3 for Florida alone


I don't remember 5 or 6. You got links? Are we up to a lot yet?
 
2012-06-21 11:33:06 AM  

WienerButt: vegasj: no one can see a common denominator with these Zombie attacks?

We get it, they're black.


well, you said it not me.

 
2012-06-21 11:50:10 AM  
My hometown making me proud. In that neighborhood it's more likely crack.
 
2012-06-21 12:12:26 PM  
Ooh... Palmetto. I bet he's from the quarters.
 
2012-06-21 12:18:27 PM  
IIRC...

Face Eater in Florida
Brain and Heart Eater in Maryland
NJ intestine flinger
MMA cannibal
Bicep biter

I've got 5... is that a lot or just more than two instances of zombie-esque behavior.
 
2012-06-21 12:56:34 PM  

Neondion: WienerButt: vegasj: no one can see a common denominator with these Zombie attacks?

We get it, they're black.

So the zombie apocolypse will be zombies that are faster and more athletic that me?!

/Doomed


You poor fat bastard...

Rule 1 is cardio.
 
2012-06-21 01:37:16 PM  

palelizard: Neondion: WienerButt: vegasj: no one can see a common denominator with these Zombie attacks?

We get it, they're black.

So the zombie apocolypse will be zombies that are faster and more athletic that me?!

/Doomed

You poor fat bastard...

Rule 1 is cardio.


i've been counting on the 'cook really well and keep wife fatter than me' plan, in hopes i can use my sacrificial lamb to buy time to 23-skidoo.


/keeping a supply of bath salts in the cupboard
//will make bath salts cupcakes for zombies if i has to
 
2012-06-21 01:42:49 PM  
So this town has TASERS..
 
2012-06-21 02:41:01 PM  

Badmonkey82009: IIRC...

Face Eater in Florida
Brain and Heart Eater in Maryland
NJ intestine flinger
MMA cannibal
Bicep biter

I've got 5... is that a lot or just more than two instances of zombie-esque behavior.


You forgot Luka Magnotta in Canada, the Swedish guy who ate his wife's lips and Mao Sugiyama (who sliced off his frank'n'beans and served them up as a paid dinner).
 
2012-06-21 03:56:47 PM  

Neondion: WienerButt: vegasj: no one can see a common denominator with these Zombie attacks?

We get it, they're black.

So the zombie apocolypse will be zombies that are faster and more athletic that me?!

/Doomed


Well we know the white women will be first on their list to eat, AMIRIGHT? (looks for high five)
 
2012-06-21 04:15:12 PM  

Old Man Winter: Badmonkey82009: IIRC...

Face Eater in Florida
Brain and Heart Eater in Maryland
NJ intestine flinger
MMA cannibal
Bicep biter

I've got 5... is that a lot or just more than two instances of zombie-esque behavior.

You forgot Luka Magnotta in Canada, the Swedish guy who ate his wife's lips and Mao Sugiyama (who sliced off his frank'n'beans and served them up as a paid dinner).


Also...
Carl Jacquneaux - another face muncher from Louisiana
Brandon DeLeon - a wanna-be-face muncher
Giovani Martinez - Nurse nibbler
Lowpel Davis - Tried to chew off an arm while stealing a wig.
 
2012-06-21 05:17:48 PM  
In my day when a person ate a person we called him a CANNIBAL not a ZOMBIE.
 
2012-06-21 07:29:08 PM  

markfara: So two constitutes a "string"?


I think we're up to 5 or 6 now.
 
2012-06-21 09:48:55 PM  
They keep coming one at a time we're okay,when they start to pack up is when we get into trouble.

/lives in a neighborhood with Coyotes
 
2012-06-22 01:02:25 PM  

Arthen: In my day when a person ate a person we called him a CANNIBAL not a ZOMBIE.


Cannibals tend to kill their prey first, and then prepare it as a normal meal.

Zombies consume the flesh of the living.....and BRRRAAAAAAIIIIINNNNSSSSSS.
 
2012-06-22 05:57:07 PM  
I live in Palmetto. Why did I have to hear about this from FARK? WTF local news stations?
 
Displayed 49 of 49 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report